Search quotes

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
30d6ccb	Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.	suicide humor	Dorothy Parker
e7de926	In youth, it was a way I had, To do my best to please. And change, with every passing lad To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know And do the things I do, And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you.	men nature youth women character change empowerment love wisdom pleasing self-discovery truthfulness self-respect self-esteem	Dorothy Parker
11bf451	By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying.	lying passion love cynicism	Dorothy Parker
9e7de12	I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.	humor drunken-behaviour	Dorothy Parker
8e03dc2	Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. Three be the things I shall have till I die: Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye."	laughter doubt sorrow friends hope life love wisdom idleness foes inventory contentment sufficienty superfluity unattainable envy curiosity knowledge values	Dorothy Parker
744610a	What fresh hell is this?		Dorothy Parker
649791e	They sicken of the calm who know the storm.	women excitement storm	Dorothy Parker
8ca38fe	If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.	fame pleasure	Dorothy Parker
3e79ef4	You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.	puns	Dorothy Parker
afb1e10	This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.	fancy raisins wordplay terrible	Dorothy Parker
3ab2dc7	Brevity is the soul of lingerie.	lingerie wordplay	Dorothy Parker
7edb59d	That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.	humor wordplay	Dorothy Parker
a93d2c8	And if my heart be scarred and burned	inspirational experience	Dorothy Parker
75bf95b	And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.	inspirational	Dorothy Parker
a83efa9	If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.		Dorothy Parker
d269dbf	I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.	men relationships love	Dorothy Parker
c70802e	Symptom Recital I do not like my state of mind; I'm bitter, querulous, unkind. I hate my legs, I hate my hands, I do not yearn for lovelier lands. I dread the dawn's recurrent light; I hate to go to bed at night. I snoot at simple, earnest folk. I cannot take the gentlest joke. I find no peace in paint or type. My world is but a lot of tripe. I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted. For what I think, I'd be arrested. I am not sick, I am not well...		Dorothy Parker
812c284	There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.	the-paris-review wisecracks wit	Dorothy Parker
2cdf709	I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.	obscurity the-new-yorker	Dorothy Parker
647ad44	It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.	abortion inspirational	Dorothy Parker
c5b9f3f	Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)		Dorothy Parker
72dd551	Lady, lady, never start Conversation toward your heart; Keep your pretty words serene; Never murmur what you mean. Show yourself, by word and look, Swift and shallow as a brook. Be as cool and quick to go As a drop of April snow; Be as delicate and gay As a cherry flower in May. Lady, lady, never speak Of the tears that burn your cheek- She will never win him, whose Words had shown she feared to lose. Be you wise and never sad, You will get..		Dorothy Parker
54dfdab	I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.		Dorothy Parker
765517e	I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen." [From a column dated November 17, 1928]"		Dorothy Parker
dcfd013	Men They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different; And once they have you, safe and sound, They want to change you all around. Your moods and ways they put a curse on; They'd make of you another person. They cannot let you go your gait; They influence and educate. They'd alter all that they admired. They make me sick, they make me tired.	men poetry humor	Dorothy Parker
2ca1c3b	You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.		Dorothy Parker
ff9dc60	If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it.	humor epigrams oscar-wilde tribute wit	Dorothy Parker
65c622b	There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.		Dorothy Parker
95bb7bb	Hence," goes on the professor, "definitions of happiness are interesting." I suppose the best thing to do with that is to let is pass. Me, I never saw a definition of happiness that could detain me after train-time, but that may be a matter of lack of opportunity, of inattention, or of congenital rough luck. If definitions of happiness can keep Professor Phelps on his toes, that is little short of dandy. We might just as well get on along t..	william-lyon-phelps	Dorothy Parker
5868043	And she had It. It, hell; she had Those.		Dorothy Parker
162dd15	Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.		Dorothy Parker
9d214c6	A lady ... with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery.		Dorothy Parker
63977b4	The House Beautiful is, for me, the play lousy.		Dorothy Parker
09ba73c	The ones I like ... are "cheque" and "enclosed."		Dorothy Parker
30f35c1	And I'll stay away from Verlaine too; he was always chasing Rimbauds.		Dorothy Parker
a5ccef5	One more drink and I'd have been under the host.		Dorothy Parker
cd440b0	It's not the tragedies that kill us; it's the messes.		Dorothy Parker
e772259	Too fucking busy, and vice versa.		Dorothy Parker
4c30919	What fresh hell can this be?		Dorothy Parker
8ca8597	That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them.		Dorothy Parker
1194f39	Katharine Hepburn delivered a striking performance that ran the gamut of emotions, from A to B.		Dorothy Parker
78e22d0	Anyone can do that--the stunt lies in not doing it.		Dorothy Parker

30d6ccb

Razors pain you, Rivers are damp, Acids stain you, And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful, Nooses give, Gas smells awful. You might as well live.

suicide humor

Dorothy Parker

e7de926

In youth, it was a way I had, To do my best to please. And change, with every passing lad To suit his theories. But now I know the things I know And do the things I do, And if you do not like me so, To hell, my love, with you.

men nature youth women character change empowerment love wisdom pleasing self-discovery truthfulness self-respect self-esteem

Dorothy Parker

11bf451

By the time you swear you're his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying.

lying passion love cynicism

Dorothy Parker

9e7de12

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host.

humor drunken-behaviour

Dorothy Parker

8e03dc2

Four be the things I am wiser to know: Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe. Four be the things I'd been better without: Love, curiosity, freckles, and doubt. Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne. Three be the things I shall have till I die: Laughter and hope and a sock in the eye."

laughter doubt sorrow friends hope life love wisdom idleness foes inventory contentment sufficienty superfluity unattainable envy curiosity knowledge values

Dorothy Parker

744610a

What fresh hell is this?

Dorothy Parker

649791e

They sicken of the calm who know the storm.

women excitement storm

Dorothy Parker

8ca38fe

If I didn't care for fun and such, I'd probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.

fame pleasure

Dorothy Parker

3e79ef4

You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think.

puns

Dorothy Parker

afb1e10

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it.

fancy raisins wordplay terrible

Dorothy Parker

3ab2dc7

Brevity is the soul of lingerie.

lingerie wordplay

Dorothy Parker

7edb59d

That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.

humor wordplay

Dorothy Parker

a93d2c8

And if my heart be scarred and burned

inspirational experience

Dorothy Parker

75bf95b

And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.

inspirational

Dorothy Parker

a83efa9

If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead.

Dorothy Parker

d269dbf

I won't telephone him. I'll never telephone him again as long as I live. He'll rot in hell, before I'll call him up. You don't have to give me strength, God; I have it myself. If he wanted me, he could get me. He knows where I am. He knows I'm waiting here. He's so sure of me, so sure. I wonder why they hate you, as soon as they are sure of you.

men relationships love

Dorothy Parker

c70802e

Symptom Recital I do not like my state of mind; I'm bitter, querulous, unkind. I hate my legs, I hate my hands, I do not yearn for lovelier lands. I dread the dawn's recurrent light; I hate to go to bed at night. I snoot at simple, earnest folk. I cannot take the gentlest joke. I find no peace in paint or type. My world is but a lot of tripe. I'm disillusioned, empty-breasted. For what I think, I'd be arrested. I am not sick, I am not well...

Dorothy Parker

812c284

There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.

the-paris-review wisecracks wit

Dorothy Parker

2cdf709

I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.

obscurity the-new-yorker

Dorothy Parker

647ad44

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.

abortion inspirational

Dorothy Parker

c5b9f3f

Drink and dance and laugh and lie, Love, the reeling midnight through, For tomorrow we shall die! (But, alas, we never do.)

Dorothy Parker

72dd551

Lady, lady, never start Conversation toward your heart; Keep your pretty words serene; Never murmur what you mean. Show yourself, by word and look, Swift and shallow as a brook. Be as cool and quick to go As a drop of April snow; Be as delicate and gay As a cherry flower in May. Lady, lady, never speak Of the tears that burn your cheek- She will never win him, whose Words had shown she feared to lose. Be you wise and never sad, You will get..

Dorothy Parker

54dfdab

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

Dorothy Parker

765517e

I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen." [From a column dated November 17, 1928]"

Dorothy Parker

dcfd013

Men They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different; And once they have you, safe and sound, They want to change you all around. Your moods and ways they put a curse on; They'd make of you another person. They cannot let you go your gait; They influence and educate. They'd alter all that they admired. They make me sick, they make me tired.

men poetry humor

Dorothy Parker

2ca1c3b

You think You're frightening me with Your hell, don't You? You think Your hell is worse than mine.

Dorothy Parker

ff9dc60

If, with the literate, I am Impelled to try an epigram, I never seek to take the credit; We all assume that Oscar said it.

humor epigrams oscar-wilde tribute wit

Dorothy Parker

65c622b

There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.

Dorothy Parker

95bb7bb

Hence," goes on the professor, "definitions of happiness are interesting." I suppose the best thing to do with that is to let is pass. Me, I never saw a definition of happiness that could detain me after train-time, but that may be a matter of lack of opportunity, of inattention, or of congenital rough luck. If definitions of happiness can keep Professor Phelps on his toes, that is little short of dandy. We might just as well get on along t..

william-lyon-phelps