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"The South is known for its "Southern Hospitality," and I feel fortunate to have grown up in such a friendly and caring culture. Our remarkable mother has always exemplified these qualities and has been a consistent role model for making other people feel valued and important. She will approach new people in most any situation to gift them with a smile and a moment of her time. Regardless of their role, position, or stature, she confidently engages others with animation, enthusiasm, and interest. Her gentility makes people feel emotionally safe and cared for. This degree of friendliness melts resistance, lowers barriers, and opens hearts by valuing humanity. Almost always, her personal connections develop with feelings of mutual respect, appreciation, and friendship."
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Be Brave. Bravery takes fortitude--put yourself on the line, even if you risk failing, falling, being embarrassed, or looking stupid--if being brave were easy, more people would be. Just try it!
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What About the Social Introvert? Perhaps you don't want to talk! Maybe you prefer to speak only when responding to another person. If you tend to be more reserved and less gregarious, the expression on your face will speak volumes. A pleasant expression and a genuine smile communicate friendliness and approachability that will lead you to a positive experience. Your body language engages--without words.
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Manners Matter. Courteous behavior is the hallmark of healthy relations and human interaction. Manners ensure you will be more respected, admired, and appreciated. Thank you!
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Polish the Gold. Be an optimist; look for the best in others, the best in situations, and focus on what is working rather than what is not. It's golden!
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Fine-tune your rebounding and resiliency skills. Teach yourself different ways to stay mentally in the moment by projecting a friendly and positive vibe in everything you do. Remember, your vibe attracts your tribe. So be conscientious of your impact--it's powerful!
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First, take complete responsibility for your life and current outcomes. Then take proactive steps for the necessary action to move forward in your desired direction. This personal choice is at the heart of your achieving impressive results. Taking initiative is the start of all good things born from action . . . * Growth * Creativity * Enterprise * Invention * Success * Solutions * Accomplishment * Development * Positive Change * Transformation
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"Just Show Up. Guess what? Being in the right place at the right time can't happen without your first showing up. Companies have been started, marriages made, friendships found, careers created, and opportunities seized by those people who just showed up. Whether through coincidence, serendipity, strategy, or fate, taking the initiative to show up will reward you in ways which never would have occurred if you hadn't. Just by showing up, you have taken a proactive step to impress people by being there" in person" and demonstrating your willingness to be involved."
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Have you ever had a friend in need whose only request was the gift of your presence? When major life changes happen or tragedies hit, you can find out very quickly who your real friends are because they are the ones who SHOW UP.
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In The Art of Connection, you will learn simple, yet powerful ways to build trust and rapport for connecting with ease. By being personable and friendly, you will receive more positive and welcoming reactions.
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Encourage others to talk about themselves by asking questions and listening with genuine interest. Demonstrating such mutual respect will make you all the more fascinating for kinship and camaraderie.
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Imagine how many new friends you would make, how much new business you could create, and how much fun you could have by simply taking the initiative to be the inviter.
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Imagine how many new friends you would make, how much new business you could create, and how much fun you could have by simply taking the initiative to be the inviter. Try it today. Welcome new relationships into your life that would never have occurred otherwise.
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To gain greater understanding, clarity, and awareness, you must become aware of your values and beliefs. Think of a triangle or an iceberg. Below the waterline, your beliefs and your values build the foundation for your behavior.
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"I disagree with the adage, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." Good intentions are powerful mindsets which will drive your actions to accomplish the results you want. Setting good intentions sets you up for success by providing you with a vision and a plan to "get 'er done" and make it happen!"
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Navigating relationships within our own culture can be challenging enough. When diverse cultures are involved, however, a huge potential for misunderstanding, disrespect, miscommunication, and intolerance is present.
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Sometimes we break people's trust accidentally. An infraction such as not returning a phone call, missing a deadline, being late for an appointment, divulging a confidence, or speaking out of turn can damage our perceived character and reputation.
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ASK YOURSELF: Do you remember a gracious hostess, an engaging guest, or someone who worked the room like a honey bee in a flower garden? They would glide from one person to the next, spreading good will and cheer, being the glue that brought everyone together with ease.
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"Mix * Be situationally aware and pay attention to the people in the room. * Introduce guests or help strike up a conversation. * Be the one who takes the initiative and makes and effort to "work the room." * Make eye contact and acknowledge others with a smile and friendly gestures. * Greet people as they arrive, even if it is not your expected role. * Spot the people who may be first timers or guests and help them feel more welcomed and embraced."
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The bottom line is that, as human beings, we all crave belonging and connection. This only happens when trust is established and continuously cultivated.
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When a leader nurtures an environment of trust, respect, and honesty--business soars, creativity and problem-solving are inspired, and collaboration enables people get more done in less time.
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"Top sales professionals will confirm that nurturing their "sphere of influence" is essential to their success. When trust and rapport are well cultivated, it can yield tremendous bottom-line results."
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Trust and rapport are the connective tissue for gaining and maintaining healthy relationships. They provide people with the comfort and reassurance that they are doing business with an organization who cares.
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"These qualities make a great impression on your boss, your teams, and your customers. You will be more respected, noticed, and appreciated in the process. As your own "CEO of Self," projecting this positive level of engagement furthers your own personal reputation and interests for healthy communication, networking, and positive first impressions. An added bonus is that YOU will receive great benefits from putting forth this type of effort. Whether it be self-esteem, new training, cooperation, experience, or a raise or bonus, the rewards are extensive and many."
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Wise leaders know that being personable ad friendly is the highly-prized personality for employees who are meeting, greeting, and engaging on the front lines with customers. They are the real ambassadors of good will who make positive first impressions for the organization. Their affinity for being personable and friendly can boost the attractor factor for winning business, loyalty, and rave reviews.
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To Move from Woe to Wow with an Unhappy Customer. . . Thank the Customer! * Thank them for bringing his or her concerns to your attention. * Treat them with respect and empathy. * Avoid further inconvenience to them.
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"12 Simple Ways to Deliver Service Beyond Self 1. Make it Easy for People to Do Business with You. 2. Be an Awesome, Sincere Listener. 3. Listen to Customers' Words and tone of voice, body language, and how they feel. Ask questions, listen, and meet them on their level. Explain, guide, educate, assist and do what is necessary to help them get the information they need to fully understand regarding their question or issue. 4. Show Enthusiasm. Greet customers with genuine interest. Give them your best. Think, act, and talk with positive enthusiasm and you will attract positive results. Your attitude is contagious! 5. Identify and Anticipate Needs. Most customer needs are more emotional rather than logical. 6. Under Promise & Over Deliver. Apply the principle of "Service Beyond Self" . . . give more than expected. Meet and exceed their expectations. If you can't serve their needs, connect them with whoever can. 7. Make them Feel Important. Our deepest desire is to feel important. People rarely care how much you know until they know how much you care. Use their names, find ways to compliment them--and be sincere. 8. Take Responsibility for their Satisfaction. Do whatever is necessary to help them solve their problems. Let them know that if they can't find answers to their questions to come back to you for help. 9. Treat your TEAM well. Fellow colleagues are your internal customers and need a regular dose of appreciation. Thank them and find ways to let them know how important they are. Treat your colleagues with respect; chances are they will have a higher regard for customers. 10. Choose an Attitude of Gratitude. Gratitude changes your perspective and helps you appreciate the good rather than simply taking it for granted. 11. Perform, Provide and Follow-Up. Always perform or provide your service in a spirit of excellence and integrity. If you say you're going to do something--DO IT! There is tremendous value in being a resource for your customer. If you can help them to succeed, they are more likely to help you succeed. Use Gracious Words. "Thank you, thank you very much."
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Decide today to take a stand, make a plan, and get. No one ever said it was going to be easy and wouldn't require effort. It will sometimes require that you go against the grain, face great challenge, conquer fear, overcome obstacles, and bounce back when knocked down. Choose to keep moving and don't give up. And if your ship still doesn't come in--swim out to it!
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When you have orientational awareness, your perceptions and impressions are based on location and proximity. Orientation may imply hierarchy, position, and prestige, or be the result of habits, traditions, and perceptions.
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In America, when a man walks in front of a woman it may imply that they are not equals and he is exerting dominance over her, or being arrogant and rude. In a different culture, however, it may be presumed that he is someone worthy of profound respect and is protecting her by going first.
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On a recent business trip, I reunited with a friend I had not seen in twenty years. After having a lovely lunch meeting, we came out of the restaurant to walk towards the parking lot. He automatically moved me to the inside of the sidewalk as he walked along the curbside. His orientational awareness illustrated a chivalrous gesture of protection and respect which impressed me greatly.
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As soon as someone believes you cannot be trusted, you are stopped dead in your tracks. Whether this perceived loss of trustworthiness is true or false, the perception alone can be damaging.
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I've Got to Trust You to Like You People want to do business with people whom they like and trust. If anything in a business presentation raises concerns or doubt about your trustworthiness, everything shuts down. And then there's little hope of moving forward in a positive way--you're done.
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Meeting someone for the first time has significance, but for some people, the awkwardness can be so great that they avoid a conversation altogether. The person who may be shy, introverted, or afraid of sounding stupid may just choose to remain silent rather than take the risk of engaging in embarrassing dialogue.
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"Going with Your Gut Your natural instincts are a great barometer for a person's trustworthiness. Listen to your gut when something feels amiss. When your natural "Spidey-Sense" kicks in, it may alerting you to red flags you would not see on the surface otherwise."
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10 Ways to Be More Personable and Friendly 1. Listen more than you speak. 2. When you do speak, ask questions of the other person before volunteering your own story. 3. Show a genuine interest in what the other person has to share. 4. Keep the focus on the other person. People love to talk about themselves--their kids, their significant other, their pets, their job, etc. 5. Keep a positive attitude, a smile, and eye contact. 6. Be the glue that holds the conversation together. And learn to be the glue that keeps other groups of people together. 7. Laugh at other people's jokes. 8. Take the initiative to say hello and introduce yourself. 9. Get in tune with other people's emotions. 10. Embrace small talk as a positive way to begin new conversations.
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Mix, Mingle, Glow. Stretch beyond your own comfort zone to speak with, sit with, and start conversations with people whom you do not know. Take the initiative to help other people capture the spotlight and shine.
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"While some may consider being friendly an appealing personality trait, I challenge you to see it as a valuable skill. In a world where we are continuously bombarded with negativity and anxiety is at an all-time high, a warm and friendly person is a welcome relief. Training yourself to be the friendly "calm in the storm" makes you a true asset to your business, your family, and your community."
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Is it better to be interested or interesting? Good question. People will be more interested in you when you first demonstrate that you are interested in them.
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Be fiercely curious about who they are, what they do, what they like, and what they need. If you pay attention to them, they will pay attention to you.
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communication skills, quotes by Susan C Young, relationship quotes, trust, speaker Susan Young, first impressions quotes, best motivational speakers, best keynote speakers, curiosity and being interested, customer service quotes
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Graciously Accepting a Compliment. How many times have you offered someone a sincere compliment only to have it thrown back in your face as if your assessment were wrong? How did you feel? Women are notorious for this social misstep and poor maneuver. Why do they do it? Rejecting a compliment makes the compliment-giver feel as though they should have said nothing.
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What is the motive behind your services? If it is self-centered, self-serving, and lacking consideration for others, then earning people's trust, rapport, and business will inevitably be more of a struggle. A self-serving agenda throws up red flags which stop relationships dead in their tracks. It can destroy trust, make people wary of your intentions, and push customers to your competition.
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"Years ago, my childhood friend Steve lost his father. Since Steve had left Tallahassee shortly after high school graduation, we had not seen each other for over a decade. Upon learning of his father's funeral, I made plans to attend to "be there." After the service, I approached the family's receiving line. When Steve saw me, he was stunned that I had made the effort to be there for him. We both cried as we hugged and he said, "I can't tell you what it means to me that you showed up." Showing up sends a message that you are a devoted friend, a team player, a dedicated parent, an inspiring leader, a loyal mate, and more." --
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Contextual awareness represents a continuum of behaviors, which illustrates how and why groups of people unite or divide among cultures.
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"Ignoring his advice, I got up, walked over, gently rested my hands on two of their shoulders and said, "Ladies, I have to tell you how much you have impressed me. I just moved to Madison from Florida and left behind all my girlfriends. I have been sitting over there admiring your friendships. You remind me so much of my girlfriends back home and I had to come over and speak with you." And without missing a beat, I next asked, "Can I be your friend?" They were so impressed by my sincere request, they kindly opened their circle and invited me in."
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Begin to take the initiative when you want to meet someone new. Be the one who steps forward first. Simply say hello and begin a conversation.
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I spend a great deal of time on airplanes traveling from one speaking engagement to the next. There have been times when I have sat for hours next to strangers with whom I never made eye contact or uttered a word. But then I have also met people with whom I engaged in such delightful conversation that it resulted in new business and referrals. The main difference was whether or not I took initiative to begin a conversation.
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Being grounded in your lifelong culture and your personal perspective, you are comfortable with the way you see things and may believe it is the best and only way.
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When trust is broken, foundational cracks occur which weaken the entire relationship. As with concrete, no amount of filling and patching you apply with the hope of fortifying the fracture will ever repair the weakness caused by the rift.
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Your first words will not only shape your first impression, they can create amazing connections, lead you to your dream job, or help you discover a new best friend--or accomplish exactly the opposite.
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Take steps to be humble, sincere, and authentic, and apologize if necessary. If a relationship is valuable to you, it is worth your concern and effort to make it right.
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"Hostess with the Mostest "Think of a time when you have had a party in your home or had friends over for dinner. Didn't you want to make sure they were nurtured, cared for, and well-taken care of? Didn't you want your guests to interact with each other and enjoy the experience so they would remember it fondly?"
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You can certainly take the easy road and use the predictable and boring defaults like: * How are you doing? * How about this weather? * What do you do for a living? * Hi. My name is _________. What's yours? * Blah, blah, blah, blah . . . Break out of the defaults you have been using for years. Shake it up. Make it fun. Make it memorable. Dive in with more engagement and interaction. Taking the initiative to be more creative will help you build a bridge to close the gap.
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How do you minimize the awkwardness in that moment? What are some of the conversations starters you've used to open, encourage, and support enjoyable and beneficial conversations?
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10 Conversation Bridge Builders 1. Simply say hello with a smile. 2. Ask them what they love about their work. 3. Ask natural questions out of genuine curiosity. 4. Get a person talking about what's important to them. 5. Compliment something positive which you've noticed. 6. Engage them with questions which are easy to answer. 7. Introduce them to someone whom you think they'll enjoy meeting. 8. Ask them if they have any trips or vacations planned. 9. Look for something you may have in common so that the conversation begins with shared interests. 10. Think of questions that begin with how, what, when, why and where.
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14 Awesome Conversation Starters 1. What do you do for fun? Hobbies, recreation . . . 2. What are your super powers? Gifts, talents, strengths. 3. Good morning! It's great to see you! 4. What is your story? Tell me about yourself. 5. What brought you to __________? 6. Do you have anything special happening in your life (or your business)? 7. What's the best thing that's happened this week? 8. Are you living your life purpose or still searching for it? 9. What gives you passion and makes you happy to be alive? 10. Do you have any pets? 11. How do you know the host? 12. When you were a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? 13. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? 14. What's next on your bucket list?
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As you rock rapport, you will open doors, earn loyalty, establish long-term relationships, and promote mutually respectful interaction. How can you break the ice and move toward creating a positive connection?
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Why is this disengagement epidemic becoming the new norm? A few reasons I have witnessed in speaking with companies across the country include . . . * Information overload * Distractions * Stress/overwhelmed * Apathy/detachment * Short attention span * Fear, worry, anxiety * Rapidly changing technology * Entitlement * Poor leadership * Preoccupation * Social media * Interruptions * Multitasking * Budget cuts * Exhaustion * Boredom * Conflict * Social insecurity * Lack of longevity These challenges not only create separation and work dysfunction, but we are seeing it happen in relationships and personal interactions.
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For leaders, trust can make all the difference in the viability of their teams. When there is mistrust or low connectivity, teams can falter and fight--making productivity and profitability suffer.
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When you are fully present and engaged in your workplace, you will demonstrate that you care about the success of your organization, are a team player, have a can-do attitude, and will go the extra mile to fulfill and exceed expectations.
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How Can You Show You Are Interested? * Pay close attention. * Ask how you can help. * Ask probing questions. * Practice great listening. * Invite people to participate. * Express curiosity without judgment. * Find a way to help others achieve their goals. * Keep your mind open to innovative ideas. * Make introductions and connect like-minded people. * Get to know people first before talking about yourself. * Consider how and why they feel/think/believe as they do.
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When people can't give anything and are only there for themselves, why should others use their time and energy to get involved? There's no benefit.
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"Get in the Game "As soon as you say something can't be done, you will be passed by a person who is already doing it." - Unknown "Do you typically observe the game of life from the sidelines, sit in the penalty box, play your heart out on the field, or show up when the opportunity has already passed by and ask, "What happened?" Your answer to this question will reveal a lot about your initiative. Granted, various situations call for diverse levels of interest and engagement. However, if you want to rock your relationship results, it is going to require action, effort, initiative, and choosing to get in the game."
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As you use fun and humor to reduce tension and connect with laughter, light-heartedness will prevail. Exercising discretion and good judgment in your communication will leave your listener feeling like they have met a person of substance and style.
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When we trust someone or something, we place our faith and confidence in their word, reliability, and deeds. Without trust and rapport, a relationship can be cut short before it ever gets started.
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"Presenting "Mix, Mingle & Glow" in a social context is a lovely way to describe how you can make a great first impression by taking the initiative to help other people shine. Think of the times when you have attended an event where there were a lot of people."
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In his book, Networking is a Contact Sport, Joe Sweeney advises that when you attend networking events, act as if it is your party and you are the host or hostess. By doing this, you will help others be at ease and demonstrate a heart of service and generosity.
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People consider trust differently. Some approach a new relationship with a degree of skepticism and want the other person to earn their trust before it is freely given. Their reluctance is often influenced by a previous experience when they were hurt, betrayed, or let down by others.
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11 Tips for Building Rapport 1. Adapt to the other person's energy level. 2. Assume rapport. 3. Be open and friendly. 4. Exude warmth and approachability. 5. Find common ground or mutual agreement. 6. Keep your commitments and always follow through. 7. Make eye contact. 8. Soften your voice, your smile, and your eye contact to convey openness and interest. 9. Match and mirror a person's gestures and body language. 10. Pay attention. 11. Validate the other person by asking questions and showing sincere interest in their answers.
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11 Ways to Be More Engaged 1. Care about others. 2. Be 100 percent in the moment. 3. Keep focus on the person you are serving. 4. Try to get involved, engaged, and interactive. 5. Show interest in what matters to other people by listening, acknowledging, and responding. 6. Arrive in the moment anticipating creating a valuable interaction for yourself and others. 7. Move towards the things that inspire you and provide a sense of joy and connection. 8. Reconnect with the essence of yourself and be grounded in that essential relationship. 9. Maintain eye contact and deliver the non-verbal cues that you are fully with the other person. 10. Limit distractions-- close the door, silence your phone, hold calls, put tasks aside, etc. 11. Show up to the moment being your best and giving your best.
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These special people are genuinely warm, sincerely kind, and put people at ease with their inviting nature and light-hearted conversation. They are easy to talk to, easy to like, and bring a positive vibe to even the most stressful situations.
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Just be Nice. Nice--this little word has a big meaning. Use it generously. Being nice helps people feel emotionally safe, allowing for more authentic, trusting, and happy interactions.
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Take the Initiative. Be proactive. If you want to rock your relationship results, it is going to take action, effort, initiative, and choosing to get in the game--so, step up, step out, and show up!
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Are you the one who strives to brighten other people's days or are you the one waiting for others to do that for you? These are choices that can and do make a huge difference in the value you bring to the table, personally and professionally.
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"From a leadership lean, are you the BOSS that creates fear and rules with an "iron fist" or are you a LEADER who listens and connects with your team members to create a culture where collaboration and creativity can thrive?"
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Where my previous motivation had been a self-serving ambition, my new service mindset was dedicated to serving a vision greater than myself. Within a year, I quadrupled my income, and then I doubled it every year thereafter. This service mindset quickly taught me that by helping others achieve their goals, I could more easily achieve my own.
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The Service Mindset. When I began my real estate career at the age of twenty-two, I had a fresh Bachelor's Degree in Marketing in one hand and 'a tiger by the tail' in the other. I was on a mission to be successful in life and in business and make a lot of money in the process. Every goal I set was about Me. Me. Me! I was driven by: How much money could I make? Which property listings paid the biggest commissions? How many calls did I need to make to schedule new appointments? How many listings did I need to have to hit my target? You can see where I am going with this! Working full-time, nights and weekends, seven days a week, I only made eleven thousand dollars in the first year! I was tired, disillusioned, and knew that I had to either change careers or massively shift my mindset. I chose the latter. I took ALL focus off me and re-directed my time, energy, and resources to serving my clients. Their hopes, needs, and desires became my primary focus. How could I help solve their problems?
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The Service Mindset. When I began my real estate career at the age of twenty-two, I had a fresh Bachelor's Degree in Marketing in one hand and 'a tiger by the tail' in the other. I was on a mission to be successful in life and in business and make a lot of money in the process. Every goal I set was about Me. Me. Me! I was driven by: How much money could I make? Which property listings paid the biggest commissions? How many calls did I need to make to schedule new appointments? How many listings did I need to have to hit my target? You can see where I am going with this! Working full-time, nights and weekends, seven days a week, I only made eleven thousand dollars in the first year! I was tired, disillusioned, and knew that I had to either change careers or massively shift my mindset. I chose the latter. I took ALL focus off me and re-directed my time, energy, and resources to serving my clients. Their hopes, needs, and desires became my primary focus. How could I help solve their problems? And then EVERYTHING began to turn around . . .
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Service Beyond Self is Essential for Success Because It . . . * Builds credibility, trust, and customer satisfaction. * Strengthens your personal reputation and public image. * Fosters goodwill and makes people feel appreciated. * Helps you build healthy relationships with others. * Nurtures collaboration, participation, and cooperation. * Reaffirms a continuity of service for quality assurance, integrity, and reliability. * Saves money--it costs less to keep existing customers than it does to create new ones. When you do it right the first time, you don't have to fix it the next time. * Improves communication and builds rapport. * Fosters mutual respect and understanding * By providing other people with what they want, you will get more of what you want!
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To Move from Woe to Wow . . . Listen Attentively * Be fully present and give your customer your full attention. * Stay calm and remain patient. * Do not interrupt or become defensive. * Let the customer express his or her concerns. * Nod your head and use affirming words to show that you are listening. * Repeat back and empathize, when necessary. This confirms your understanding of the problem or question.
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It is easier to do business and work with people who are most like ourselves.
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"Strategic Commonality "Social media has capitalized on helping people find others who share their similar interests, shared experiences, and common passions. With social media, we are easily able to target potential customers who would be ideal for our business pursuits and professional development."
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What gives you your sense of importance and makes you feel special? Who and what bring out the best in you? What does it take to make you feel like a million bucks and ready to take on the world? When people make you feel important, doesn't it elevate them in your eyes? Learn to do the same for others.
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"We all have an innate desire to feel important, be special, and feel appreciated. Considering the universal drive to have those needs met, it is one of your best ways to move past making a positive first impression and turn it into a lasting one"."
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The Gift that Keeps on Giving I once had a lovely real estate client named Jane who was an elderly lady living alone. Her sons lived far away in the Pacific Northwest and she rarely saw them. I became her Realtor when she decided she needed to down-size from her larger home and buy a smaller one. Throughout this transition, we would talk, laugh, share, and bond. After we successfully completed her transactions and got her comfortably situated in her new home, I stayed in touch to nurture our friendship. Over a year later, I got a call from her son in Seattle who was calling to inform me that his mother had passed away. And at the reading of her will it was revealed she had requested that when it the time came to sell the property in her estate, they were to call Susan Young. By making her feel special and important, I earned not only her friendship, but her loyalty and continued business.
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It can be a mean world; sadly, there is no shortage of rude people. Throughout my travels, I pleasantly discovered that if you are friendly to others, they will usually mirror the same in return. Regardless of which cities or countries I visit, the majority of people I encounter tend to be friendly, personable, and caring.
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Most people want, need, and respond positively to gestures of kindness and goodness. This universal friendliness connects humanity.
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By taking a personal interest in other people's lives, you are demonstrating selflessness, grace, and respect.
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ASK YOURSELF: Your closest friends want to know all about the details of your life and want to hear what is happening in your life. How can you be that type of person for others?
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If you truly want to impress someone, remember points they shared in previous conversations and mention it when you reconnect.
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When you ask people about themselves, are you just being polite or do you truly want to know? When you focus your intention and questions on them, it makes them feel special and valued. However, if you don't sincerely want to know, it can backfire as appearing insincere.
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"Encouraging quality communication will make it easier for you to establish rapport, gather information, and increase understanding. You can use this "fishing" technique for personal relationships, social events, sales calls, and professional correspondence."
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"A closed-ended question, however, is one which could be answered with a one-word answer or a simple "yes" or "no." It can bring a dynamic dialogue to an awkward halt or stalemate. You can easily flip the encounter around by making a little more effort."
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When you sincerely want to connect on deeper levels and encourage other people to talk about themselves, use open-ended questions to stimulate your conversation and get the ball rolling.
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Socrates would teach his pupils by asking them intelligent and probing questions. By using their critical thinking skills and problem-solving abilities, they could discover the answers for themselves and retain their lessons longer. By using this same approach for Socratic Selling or Socratic Communication, there is no telling how much you might teach and solve for another person, all the while creating a memorable encounter.
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So, how can you move beyond awkward silence with virtual strangers to becoming new friends? By asking great questions! Once a few inquiring questions were placed, I would let them do all the talking.
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Once you start looking, you will discover unlimited links and openers for nurturing camaraderie. Do you drive the same car? Did you attend the same college? Do you both write with your left hand? Love vacationing in Paris? Prefer sushi over pasta? Both have twins? Attend the same church? Each run marathons? Enjoy the same television shows? Have the same breed of dog? While downright basic, these shared commonalities can often bring a sense of familiarity and affection even for people whom you have never met.
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I recently heard of a real estate professional who LOVES to cook. So, her niche market? Foodies. She attends local restaurant events and cooking classes and turns strangers into friends and clients. Her closing gift to new homeowners? A recipe box. Then she sends new recipe postcards every month to tuck inside. Isn't that a smart way to stay connected in a meaningful way?
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In our high-tech world today, there are unlimited ways with which you can search for people, places, and events to connect you with like-minded people. Food enthusiasts? There are local cooking classes. Gardening fans? There are flower shows and garden expos. Kids in school? Join the PTA and get involved. There are clubs and groups for almost any interest these days and venturing out to make those connections is a powerful way to expand your insights, your network, and even your business.
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When all else fails, Mother Nature has provided you with a great social default for finding commonality with others. Since weather is a universally shared experience, it enables you to jump into a conversation with anybody and everybody. While discussing the weather may sound boring, trite, and predictable, it is a safe and the certain ice-breaker that can help you build commonality regardless of who you are addressing. As I write this, we have icy rain! It's never a boring topic.
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"Professional Networking "The first week I lived in Madison, WI, I sought a local chapter meeting for ATD (Association for Training Development). Having belonged to the same organization in Florida, I knew it would be a comfortable way to meet new people and make new friends. Knowing we would have a lot in common, I entered the room of strangers feeling confident and hopeful. As everyone took turns introducing themselves, it was easy to see our common denominators. I briefly mentioned that I was new to the area, was a professional speaker, and a member of the National Speakers Association. Within minutes of mentioning NSA, a fellow participant approached me, shared that she was a member too, and our lively conversation began. The positive first impression we made on each was so powerful and captivating that we continued our conversations for months to come. Now, two years later, Tina and I are the best of friends and I have every confidence we will be for life. You never know when an amazing person will walk into your life when you seek common bonds and camaraderie."
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"Instant Access "When my twins were born, I moved abruptly from being a professional career woman to a full-time, stay-at-home mom. The role shift opened a new door of commonality which surprised and delighted me. I was instantly welcomed into a special "Motherhood Club," where before I never would have related. It felt as if I was suddenly bonded with mothers worldwide. It's important to remember--nothing stays the same, nor do we."
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"Memory Makes Magic Happen "Have you ever been away from someone for a while and when you are reunited after a long absence, they ask about something or someone whom you talked about previously? My friend Teresa Palm is an amazing massage therapist. Months can go by between our appointments, however, without missing a beat, she can start up our conversations exactly where we left off ages ago. Her memory has always impressed me and demonstrated that she is interested enough to remember things which were meaningful to me. She always conveys a sincere interest which makes me feel great."
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A wise business practice is to become a prolific note-taker if you aren't already. When you've had a great conversation or interaction with someone--whether it is on a conference call, Skype, in a meeting, or even in passing--jot down a note or two about your time together. Then you can reference it the next time you see each other or speak again. Since most of us don't have as extraordinary a memory as my friend Teresa Palm, taking notes is a smart and easy way to show that you are interested and care.
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Show Them You CARE. In the business world, mastering conversational skills and paying attention to the details can take you to the top and help keep you there!
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"Teddy Roosevelt has been credited with saying, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." Think about that from a sales perspective."
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"We've all known that one salesperson whose primary motivation in a transaction is to earn a commission--regardless of their customer's needs. From their body language to their self-driven talking points to the "close three times and then some" techniques-they come across as egocentric and uncaring."
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On the other hand, when presented with a service-minded professional who strives to deliver the best possible experience, aren't you duly impressed? They are genuinely interested in learning about your wants, needs, and desires to help ensure you achieve your goals. They are the kind of person you'll turn to again and again--not only for your own business but to refer to others as well.
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Be inquisitive. You already know what you know. A straightforward way to learn something new is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about life and work, about other people, and about yourself.
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"Extend Invitations "How many times have you sat at home alone feeling jealous or sad that you were not invited to a party or out to dinner? You may have seen people having fun on Facebook and wondered what it would take to be included next time. And when you don't feel included, it can leave you feeling rejected, dismissed, lonely and excluded. It does not have to be this way. Why do we wait for others to do the inviting? You can change your social life instantly by taking the initiative to reach out and connect with someone."
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Take the initiative to introduce yourself. One morning I was sitting on a bike in a spinning class at my gym. There was a lady whom I did not know sitting on the bike next to me. As we waited for the instructor, I decided to break the silence and start a conversation. I took the initiative to introduce myself and within a few short minutes, I knew her children's names, how long she had lived in Madison, which exercise classes she preferred, and where they went for Christmas. When the class was over, I confirmed that I remembered her name correctly, reminded her of mine and shared that it was a true pleasure meeting her. A simple introduction turned a stranger into a fresh and delightful new acquaintance.
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The fact that someone is different from you does not make them wrong--it just makes them different. Why would we ever want everyone to be alike anyway? That would make the world boring!
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"Be the "Liker" "If you want to be liked, BE THE LIKER!" This was some of the best advice my enlightened mother ever gave me. Throughout my childhood, teen years, and adulthood, this golden nugget of simple wisdom empowered me to take personal responsibility for developing friendships. When you want to reach out, make new friends, and increase your likeability factor, step up and "like" others first. They will usually mirror your initiative and like you back."
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Expressing and demonstrating genuine interest for people can connect you on levels you may never have imagined.
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To master The Art of First Impressions for Positive Impact, it is imperative to understand some basic personality differences so that you can navigate and nurture relationships from a position of awareness, empathy, and acceptance. This understanding will greatly enhance your communication skills, regardless of the differences, so that you can make positive impressions on people who are different from you.
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Physical touch is one of my primary love languages. For those of us who share this love language, touching is an endearing gesture of affection, appreciation, and connection. It is not intended to be inappropriate in any way when we hug you upon meeting, pat your back, or squeeze your arm. For us, it is an enthusiastic demonstration of friendship. However, there are many people who do NOT like to be touched--men or women. In spite of our good intentions, touching can make others feel awkward, offended, and in the worst-case scenario, violated. It is crucial to be vigilant and socially aware enough that you can read people's cues to know when to pull back and contain yourself.
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Be a Discovery Expert. Be inquisitive. A wonderful way to get to know someone is simply by asking questions. The more you ask, the more you can learn . . . about people, work, life.
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"This insightful quote I once heard stays with me: "Tell me what gives you your sense of importance and I will tell you what you are. That is the most important thing about you. That is what determines your character." Some people get their sense of importance through their charitable works and community service. Some get it through the diplomas on their walls and the letters behind their names, while others may get their sense of importance from the cars they drive, the balance in their bank accounts, or the size of their homes. Different strokes for different folks. Regardless of what their motivators may be, notice what a person's hot button is and you will have the key to nurturing your new relationship in a positive way."
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Communicating on the surface can be easy. But when you want to dig deeper and connect with more profound impact, you'll need to achieve greater understanding, especially when others have personalities, experiences, needs, and preferences different from your own.
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Identifying, developing, and connecting on these points of reference will provide you with a rich resource of information from which to engage in stimulating conversations and connect on meaningful levels.
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"Along with the "Law of Attraction" there is also an "Attractor Factor" for easily building camaraderie and commonality for making a positive first impression. Seek to find: 1. Shared History 2. Shared Stories 3. Shared Interests 4. Shared Attitudes 5. Shared Experiences 6. Shared Beliefs and Values"
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"At a Chamber of Commerce networking breakfast, two of my friends and I were standing in a circle talking. A stranger approached, interrupted our little reunion, and gave each of us her card. She then began talking about herself and her business without a hint of social awareness, or care about her interruption. She even had the tactless gall to ask us for referrals. When she left our small circle, we looked at each other and laughed, "What was that?" --
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The wonderful world of human relationships is a rich mixture of backgrounds, perceptions, habits, preferences, behaviors, and motivators. These differences can create barriers to communication and connection, creating a lack of understanding or clarity. Just as we each have our own genetic DNA that makes us unique, we also have personality traits that do the same.
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Establishing social certainty helps you build trust, develop rapport, and strengthen your connection. However, the right questions might lead you to find a niche of commonality in someone who is very different from you. It can be professionally and personally rewarding.
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Being brave is not for the light-hearted. Bravery takes fortitude--the very act of bravery prevents anyone from knowing you were ever afraid in the first place.
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13 Ways to Make Other People Feel Important 1. Ask people questions about themselves, their interests, their families, their passions and their lives. 2. Catch people doing things right, pat them on the back, and acknowledge them for a job well done. 3. Celebrate their successes. 4. Be lavish in your compliments and sincere in your praise. 5. Be appreciative and say thank you. 6. Listen with genuine interest. 7. Respect their opinions. 8. Encourage people with words of affirmation and validation. 9. Brag about people behind (and in front of) their backs. 10. Make the time and space to be fully present and engaged. 11. Spend quality time together. 12. Share your authentic self and be real. 13. Offer comfort and compassion.
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"Every time a new client hires me for a keynote, workshop, or coaching session, the first questions I ask them are, "What are the 3 top challenges your organization is dealing with? What are your goals? What problems would you like for me to help solve?" Using their own answers, I am able to design a program that is customized specifically around their needs. It takes the focus off of Susan and centers my complete attention toward making them feel important."
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Find Your Funny Bone . . . Life provides plenty of material for things for you to laugh at. Seek irony, coincidence, and the abundance of simple humor in life's little absurdities.
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Check Your Ego at the Door. A big part of creating valuable, long-term connections requires setting your ego aside. For some, it's a struggle to not be the center of attention, of the conversation, or of the universe! People feel more valued, respected, and connected when they feel seen and heard. And that's hard to do if it's always all about you. Once you get into the practice of connecting and communicating with people in a way that draws them to you, conversations will be more engaging, and the end result is much more rewarding.
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Whether you master the art of asking questions to become a skilled communicator, start conversations, or to connect in a more meaningful way, questions can help you build rapport and strengthen relationships.
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Curiosity adds depth to what you know and to your life experience.
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Well-crafted and open-ended questions typically begin with What, Why, When, Who, How, and Where, all of which can prompt the most delightful of conversations.
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In sales, this tactic comes across as pushy, arrogant, and uncaring. It doesn't have to be this way. Admittedly, it may take great restraint to resist the temptation to dominate a conversation, but when you do, you are rewarded with an appreciation for your interest and attentiveness. Simply by changing your approach and becoming a discovery expert, you will receive relevant answers for how to better connect and serve others.
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Push versus Pull Marketing. Who wants to be pushed around? I certainly don't. Statements push and questions pull. Don't you prefer the latter? Questions pique interest and can keep the dialogue flowing when your other alternatives aren't as attractive or magnetic.
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12 Ways to Improve & Project Confident Posture 1. Go people watching. Note how you interpret the different postures you observe. This will expand your awareness of how posture impacts first impressions and will help you become more aware of yours. 2. Stand in front of a mirror to see what other people are seeing. Are your shoulders level? Are your hips level? Do you appear aligned? Are you projecting confidence or timidity? 3. Take posture pictures to provide you with points of reference and a baseline over time. Look at past photos of yourself. 4. Stand with your back against a wall and align your spine. 5. Evenly balance on both feet, spaced hip-width apart. 6. Take yoga or Pilates classes to strengthen your core muscles, improve flexibility, and balance, all which support your posture. 7. Consciously pull your shoulders back, stand erect with chin held high. 8. Practice tucking in your stomach, pulling your shoulders back, raising your chin, and looking straight ahead. 9. Sit up straight without being rigid. 10. Enter a room like you belong there or own it. 11. Stand with an open stance to be welcoming and approachable. 12. Angle your body towards the person to whom you are speaking. Angling your body away may signify that you are indifferent, fearful, putting up a barrier, or trying to get away from them.
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To make a positive first impression, where is the best place to wear a nametag? Since we shake hands with our right hand, placing your nametag on the right side of your body will make it quickly visible for the best eye contact. Within a few inches of your collar bone and right shoulder will provide greater visibility even when you are sitting down.
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"Business Cards "Do you attend events where business cards are exchanged in a networking environment? My friend Brian Haugen is a networking ninja. His gregarious personality and love for people have enabled him to easily win friends and influence people. He has a lot of tips, but one of his best is regarding how to best handle business cards. When I asked him for his thoughts on being an effective networker, he shared that there is an art to how to receive someone's business card with respect and interest. He continued by saying, "When someone hands you their card, take a moment to hold it, read it, repeat their name and then make a comment or ask a question. And make notes on their card to help you remember the exchange." This small action communicates you are genuinely interested and want to remember them."
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team-building
networking-quotes
employee-engagement
motivational-leadership-speaker
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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Too often when people hand us their cards, we quickly slip them into our pockets or purses without giving notice to what it says. Subliminally, it tells the other person that we don't care or are not interested. Take a moment to demonstrate your interest; this will help your newfound relationship be off to a good start. Small actions can make a significant impact!
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team-building
networking-quotes
employee-engagement
motivational-leadership-speaker
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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"Have you ever met a new person and within seconds forgotten his or her name? It can be embarrassing, can't it? Many people will laugh, brush it off, and say, "I simply can't remember names!" But you should take remembering seriously."
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networking-quotes
employee-engagement
hire-keynote-speaker
motivational-leadership-speaker
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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To remember people's names, use usual Imagery--Connect the name with a mental picture that will remind you of that person. If his name is Barry, think of berries. If her name is Cheri, imagine her drinking cherry punch.
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networking-quotes
employee-engagement
hire-keynote-speaker
motivational-leadership-speaker
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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Watch, Listen, & Learn . . . Broaden your sense of humor by watching funny movies and shows, reading funny books, visiting live comedy shows, or enjoying YouTube clips.
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emotional-intelligence
best-motivational-speakers
build-rapport
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
communication-skills
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Susan C. Young |
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Growing up with well-educated parents and an older sister with her Master's Degree in English Language and Literature, I was left with little wiggle room as a child to use poor grammar. When I would inadvertently slip, I would be corrected in a matter of moments--excuse me, seconds! While it may have been irritating for a 10-year-old, I am eternally grateful as an adult that the grammar police kept me in line.
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networking-quotes
employee-engagement
hire-keynote-speaker
motivational-leadership-speaker
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
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Susan C. Young |
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"The romantic notion of "opposites attract" works well in fairy tales. However, science proves that "like attracts like" for healthy communication and successful relationships. Social psychologists have long relied upon the "Similarity Attraction Theory" to explain why we are more positively inclined toward people who are the most like ourselves. Similarity reduces uncertainty and gives us a comforting degree of psychological safety. It is no wonder, then, that "birds of a feather flock together." Our tribe understands our vibe."
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trust
emotional-intelligence
best-motivational-speakers
customer-service-quotes
first-impressions-quotes
speaker-susan-young
quotes-by-susan-c-young
relationship-quotes
communication-skills
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Susan C. Young |