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Talented people are attracted to those who care about them.
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Adam M. Grant |
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To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself," Einstein lamented."
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Adam M. Grant |
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This is called the Sarick Effect, named after the social scientist Leslie Sarick. In both situations, Griscom was presenting ideas to people who had more power than he had, and trying to convince them to commit their resources. Most of us assume that to be persuasive, we ought to emphasize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses. That kind of powerful communication makes sense if the audience is supportive.
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Adam M. Grant |
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968b569
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Research suggests that there are two fundamental paths to influence: dominance and prestige. When we establish dominance, we gain influence because others see us as strong, powerful, and authoritative. When we earn prestige, we become influential because others respect and admire us.
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Adam M. Grant |
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045f296
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When our audiences are skeptical, the more we try to dominate them, the more they resist. Even with a receptive audience, dominance is a zero-sum game: the more power and authority I have, the less you have.
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Adam M. Grant |
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2bff6a4
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When we become curious about the dissatisfying defaults in our world, we begin to recognize that most of them have social origins: Rules and systems were created by people. And that awareness gives us the courage to contemplate how we can change them. Before women gained the right to vote in America, many "had never before considered their degraded status as anything but natural," historian"
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Adam M. Grant |
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9abc7b7
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Abraham Lincoln is usually regarded as the greatest of all American presidents. When experts rated the presidents on the desire to please others and avoid conflict, Lincoln scored the highest of them all. He devoted four hours a day to holding office hours with citizens and pardoned deserters during the Civil War. Before signing the Emancipation Proclamation, Lincoln agonized for six months over whether he should free the slaves. He questio..
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Adam M. Grant |
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9ac7afb
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Today, we have compelling evidence that interest precedes the development of talent. It turns out that motivation is the reason that people develop talent in the first place.
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Adam M. Grant |
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As Jack Handey advised in one of his "Deep Thoughts" on Saturday Night Live, before you criticize people, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."
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Adam M. Grant |
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1a66809
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The primary purpose has already been served by your preparation for this exam" . . . Success doesn't measure a human being, effort does. Studies"
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Adam M. Grant |
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You don't have to be first to be an original, and the most successful originals don't always arrive on schedule. They are fashionably late to the party. The
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Adam M. Grant |
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5a9fdc1
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A growing body of evidence suggests that entrepreneurs don't like risk any more than the rest of us--and it's the rare conclusion on which many economists, sociologists, and psychologists have actually come to agree.
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Adam M. Grant |
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13615c7
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People who prefer to give or match often feel pressured to lean in the taker direction when they perceive a workplace as zero-sum. Whether it's a company with forced ranking systems, a group of firms vying to win the same clients, or a school with required grading curves and more demand than supply for desirable jobs, it's only natural to assume that peers will lean more toward taking than giving. "When they anticipate self-interested behav..
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Adam M. Grant |
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c9f44d3
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Some people, when they do someone a favor, are always looking for a chance to call it in. And some aren't, but they're still aware of it--still regard it as a debt. But others don't even do that. They're like a vine that produces grapes without looking for anything in return . . . after helping others . . . They just go on to something else . . . We should be like that. --Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor A
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Adam M. Grant |
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68f9eb3
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The first follower is what transforms a lone nut into a leader." - Quoting Derek Sivers"
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innovation
leadership
peer-pressure
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Adam M. Grant |
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537c9c2
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Every man must decide whether he will walk in the light of creative altruism or in the darkness of destructive selfishness.
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Adam M. Grant |
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above all, I want to demonstrate that success doesn't have to come at someone else's expense." In"
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Adam M. Grant |
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ec47d2c
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When I put up a slide that says 'Here's why you shouldn't buy this company,' the first response was laughter. Then you could see them physically relax. It's sincere; it doesn't smell, feel, or look anything like sales. They're no longer being sold.
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Adam M. Grant |
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79a054a
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We prefer the regular photos of our friends, because that's how we're used to seeing them, but we like the inverted photos of ourselves, because that's how we see ourselves when we look in the mirror. "Familiarity doesn't breed contempt," says serial entrepreneur Howard Tullman. "It breeds comfort."
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Adam M. Grant |
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421a0af
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Originality is not a fixed trait. It is a free choice. Lincoln wasn't born with an original personality. Taking on controversy wasn't programmed into his DNA; it was an act of conscious will. As the great thinker W. E. B. DuBois wrote, "He was one of you and yet he became Abraham Lincoln."
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Adam M. Grant |
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1481cf0
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So if givers are most likely to land at the bottom of the success ladder, who's at the top--takers or matchers? Neither. When I took another look at the data, I discovered a surprising pattern: It's the givers again. As we've seen, the engineers with the lowest productivity are mostly givers. But when we look at the engineers with the highest productivity, the evidence shows that they're givers too.
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Adam M. Grant |
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The worst performers and the best performers are givers; takers and matchers are more likely to land in the middle.
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Adam M. Grant |
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28e8dc2
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when givers like David Hornik win, people are rooting for them and supporting them, rather than gunning for them. Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them.
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Adam M. Grant |
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6a09180
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Takers have a knack for generating creative ideas and championing them in the face of opposition. Because they have supreme confidence in their own opinions, they feel free of the shackles of social approval that constrict the imaginations of many people.
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Adam M. Grant |
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48c12a6
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Even in seemingly independent jobs that rely on raw brainpower, our success depends more on others than we realize.
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Adam M. Grant |
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ef55440
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The surgeons couldn't take their performance with them. They weren't getting better at performing coronary artery bypass grafts. They were becoming more familiar with particular nurses and anesthesiologists, learning about their strengths and weaknesses, habits, and styles. This familiarity helped them avoid patient deaths, but it didn't carry over to other hospitals.
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Adam M. Grant |
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5a9c02c
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hiring stars is advantageous neither to stars themselves, in terms of their performance, nor to hiring companies in terms of their market value.
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Adam M. Grant |
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822a74f
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analysts were more likely to maintain their star performance if they worked with high-quality colleagues in their teams and departments. The star analysts relied on knowledgeable colleagues for information and new ideas. The star investment analysts and the cardiac surgeons depended heavily on collaborators who knew them well or had strong skills of their own.
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Adam M. Grant |
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9840879
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matchers: their core values emphasize fairness, equality, and reciprocity. When takers violate these principles, matchers in their networks believe in an eye for an eye, so they want to see justice served.
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Adam M. Grant |
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b851921
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We tend to privilege the lone genius who generates ideas that enthrall us, or change our world. According to research by a trio of Stanford psychologists, Americans see independence as a symbol of strength, viewing interdependence as a sign of weakness.
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Adam M. Grant |
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If you're a matcher, you'll also punish takers for acting unfairly toward other people.
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Adam M. Grant |
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If we create networks with the sole intention of getting something, we won't succeed. We can't pursue the benefits of networks; the benefits ensue from investments in meaningful activities and relationships.
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Adam M. Grant |
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7f49439
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This doesn't feel like I'm persuading you. As Aronson explains, you've been convinced by someone you already like and trust: Yourself.
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Adam M. Grant |
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questions are effective persuasive devices.
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Adam M. Grant |
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If you want to engage your audience, if you really want to grab their attention, you have to know the world they live in, the music they listen to, the movies they watch,
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Adam M. Grant |
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be4a374
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Seeking advice is a subtle way to invite someone to make a commitment to us.
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Adam M. Grant |
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0a03486
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When selling, givers ask questions in a way that conveys the desire to help customers, not take advantage of them. When persuading and negotiating, givers speak tentatively and seek advice because they truly value the ideas and viewpoints of others.
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Adam M. Grant |
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a9861e0
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Since takers tend to be self-absorbed, they're more likely to use first-person singular pronouns like I, me, mine, my, and myself--versus first-person plural pronouns like we, us, our, ours, and ourselves.
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Adam M. Grant |
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6aa47f5
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When people focus on others, as givers do naturally, they're less likely to worry about egos and miniscule details; they look at the big picture and prioritize what matters most to others.
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Adam M. Grant |
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c651ef7
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I ask if you're planning to vote, you don't feel like I'm trying to influence you. It's an innocent query, and instead of resisting my influence, you reflect on it.
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Adam M. Grant |
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24fd90c
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two different ways to recognize takers. First, when we have access to reputational information, we can see how people have treated others in their networks. Second, when we have a chance to observe the actions and imprints of takers, we can look for signs of lekking. Self-glorifying images, self-absorbed conversations, and sizable pay gaps can send accurate, reliable signals that someone is a taker.
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Adam M. Grant |
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8c7a2e3
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takers and matchers make hard-and-fast assumptions about just who will be able to provide the most benefit in exchange. At its core, the giver approach extends a broader reach, and in doing so enlarges the range of potential payoffs, even though those payoffs are not the motivating engine.
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Adam M. Grant |
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c264a9b
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When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.
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Adam M. Grant |
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aa8c504
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A giver might admit the mistake and move on,
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Adam M. Grant |