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9cdd07c
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Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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7a5b903
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Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.
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humor
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a9d743e
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Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong.Your heart will tell you to do one thing and your brain will tell you to do something different. In the end, all that's left is to look at both sides and go with your best judgment.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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96f59fe
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Roy remembered the time he and his father had a talk about fighting. 'It's important to stand up for what's right,' Mr. Eberhardt had said, 'but sometimes there's a fine line between courage and stupidity.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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e1270d1
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Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head.
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humor
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Carl Hiaasen |
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1ece267
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Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.
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stupidity
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Carl Hiaasen |
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6f8e9da
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as a lobbyist he had long ago concluded there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government. The game stayed the same: It was always about favors and friends, and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took. .....
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Carl Hiaasen |
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eeac943
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That's what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death.
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wildlife
wild
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Carl Hiaasen |
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b74f227
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My father used to say that you live most of your life inside your own head, so make sure it's a good space.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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455834a
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Disney world is an armpit,compared to Montana!!
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Carl Hiaasen |
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5f2ac1b
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Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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edc6088
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and in the meantime don't jump to conclusions.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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7c78ae2
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Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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041fba1
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Please don't grow up to be one of those men who lie for the sport of it, and most men do. That's a fact. That's why the world is so messed up, Noah. That's why history books are full of so much heartache, and tragedy. Politicians, dictators, kings, phoney-baloney preachers-most of 'em are men, and most of 'em lie like rugs
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men
lie
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Carl Hiaasen |
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ac875fa
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Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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686115b
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He wondered if something was mentally wrong with him for being content with what he had
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Carl Hiaasen |
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97844f1
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Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me." "You don't know that." "Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go."
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humor
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Carl Hiaasen |
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86585fa
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Just because something was legal didn't automatically make it right.
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legal
ethics
moral
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Carl Hiaasen |
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afc9f94
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A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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7d7b06a
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In his own mind, it was never a matter of courage. But courage it was.
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courage
chomp
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Carl Hiaasen |
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e0ec124
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If anything is more irresistible than Jesus, it's Mickey.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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bccf648
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The first thing that the boy called Smoke told Nick Waters was: "Your biology book's in my locker. The combination is 5-3-5." And the second thing he said was: "I didn't do that fire, man. I'm innocent."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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3fd083e
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You from the IRS? The man's voice was deep and wet, like mud slipping down a drain.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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e9e6124
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From the bow of the canoe she asked, "Do you know a rain dance?" "First I need a virgin."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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66ad584
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Her given name was Lucinda but she'd called herself Juveline since age fifteen, when she'd been caught selling knockoff Burberry totes and a cop at the booking desk misspelled the word "juvenile." Big"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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d2a9ca9
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My roommate is a 240-pound homicidal hermit. For dinner he's fixing me a dead fox he scraped off the highway near Ponchatoula, and after that we're taking a leaky tin boat out on a windy lake to spy on some semi-retarded fishermen. Don't you wish you were here?
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Carl Hiaasen |
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2cfa2e1
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The other day, one of the big shots was trying to say 'Nice shoes!' and he accidentally told a government minister that his face looked like a butt wart. Not good.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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11c6ac0
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Miami ... the floating-human-body-parts capital of America.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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32b070b
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So for a while, they sat peacefully in the swamp, listening to Mrs. Starch hum while the little panther slurped happily and the emerald leaves overhead shimmered and shook in the sunlight.
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scat
swamp
panther
leaves
sunlight
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Carl Hiaasen |
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9dc54fb
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From the pocket of her windbreaker he extracted what he falsely believed to be a portable marine radio, which along with two granola bars he'd pilfered from Honey's belongings after she was snatched by the club-handed lunatic. Shreave started pressing buttons on the compact gadget and barking, "Mayday! Mayday! There was no response from the Coast Guard pilot or any other human, and for a good reason. Except for its LED screen, the instrumen..
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Carl Hiaasen |
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ff8e857
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The victim's hand was contracted into a fist except for the middle digit, which was rigidly extended.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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20eace3
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I married an asshole, she thought, knifing into the waves.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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938e924
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Whatever happens, I'm glad we ate that bleeping lizard.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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d4a3f11
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Still the congenitally clueless--tourists and locals alike--continue to flop into the Gulf and mess with these phenomenal creatures, dooming them to a future of begging, sloth, and worse. A dolphin that swims close enough to take a treat from your fingers is also close enough to be stabbed by a scumbag with a screwdriver.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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5f228a0
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The evening news made her wonder if God was dead; the morning sun made her believe He wasn't.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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6e8807a
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No deliberative body is manifestly less qualified to make decisions about public education than our state Legislature. With a few shining exceptions, most of these clowns don't read, can't write, and clearly can't add.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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d25ee8c
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He considered telling her about his years as a big-time smuggler, but he doubted it would improve his odds of getting laid. Once upon a time, sure, absolutely--but hers was a generation that grew up on homegrown or Humboldt and thought Panama Red was a merlot. Gaspers suspected the young bartender would have been more impressed to meet a guy who worked for Apple, or maybe a professional skateboarder.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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85a1c9b
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The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've been an easy snack for a saber-toothed tiger.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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44c73f2
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Cleveland, Ohio,
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Carl Hiaasen |
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976ffad
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For now, there's nothing to do but strap on an attitude and act like I'm having a ball.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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04be2fb
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We get along fine. In return for food and shelter, they give me unconditional indifference.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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0981b39
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The deceased was a well-known scumbucket and they don't usually have the decency to kill themselves. Usually someone else does the honor.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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d1a51fd
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to a perfectly terrible day.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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f396b8d
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In his love life Yancy specialized in devising scenarios that could lead only to unwise decisions.
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Carl Hiaasen |