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05ed8dd
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Mickey Cray was surprised to learn that Derek Badger didn't want any of his captive critters on location. Mickey had never wrangled for a nature show that used only wild animals, nor had he ever encountered a person less qualified than Derek to handle untamed specimens.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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3629907
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Watching the cab speed off, Wahoo's father looked forlorn. "It's like she's leaving us twice," he remarked. "What are you talking about, Pop?" "I'm seein' double, remember? There she goes--and there she goes again."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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e8bfcc3
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Not my circus, not my monkey." Yancy"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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acdca2a
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Buck had lobbied for a banjo player but Lane said they cost too much, which made no fucking sense to Buck because a banjo's got fewer strings than a damn guitar.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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fc289f5
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Cab Mulcahy was a patient man, especially for a managing editor. He had been in newspapers his entire adult life and almost nothing could provoke him. Whenever the worst kind of madness gripped the newsroom, Mulcahy would emerge to take charge, instantly imposing a rational and temperate mood.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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9634fb5
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Drink your milk,
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Carl Hiaasen |
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1f828d8
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Earl, you can't walk around with a lead slug up your bottom. It's bound to affect your outlook." Tool jerked his hand away. "I'll get it took care of, I swear." "It could well be the turning point in your life," she said. "What they call an epiphany. Or at least a catharsis." He assumed those to be the surgical terms for a bullet removal, and he promised Maureen he would schedule the operation as soon as he got a break in his bodyguarding s..
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Carl Hiaasen |
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0d3aae8
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First, I put his ass in jail," Garcia said, "then I married his wife."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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7d9285c
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Elle m'appelle encore ton "ex-pere"? -Ca lui arrive , repondit Fry. D'autres fois c'est juste ton vaurien de narcotrafiquants de pere."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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cc52fec
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Nobody from the Amazing Kingdom bothered to check with previous employers, such as the New York City Police Department, to inquire about allegations of bribery, moral turpitude, substance abuse, witness tampering and the unnecessary use of deadly force, to wit, the pistol-whipping of a young man suspected of shoplifting a bag of cheese-flavored Doritos.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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8391539
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Though Madeleine's face reminded Dr. Graveline in many ways of a camel, he was fond of her. She was the kind of steady patient that offshore trust funds are made of.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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5184f92
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The gutted ruins of the Amazing Kingdom were razed, and the land was replanted with native trees, including buttonwoods, pigeon plums, torchwoods, brittle palms, tamarinds, gumbo-limbos and mangroves. This restoration was accomplished in spite of rigid opposition from the Monroe County Commission, which had hoped to use the property as a public dump.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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ee437e4
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The gunshots awakened Mr. Ullman, a banker by trade and a recent arrival from Copenhagen, who looked out the bedroom window just in time to see a tremendous bull galloping across his yard with a thrashing young American impaled on its rack. Mr. Ullman quickly telephoned the police and informed them, as urgently as his newly-acquired English would allow, that an 'unlucky cowboy is being perforated seriously.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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869ee2f
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Wiley's behavior had lately become so odd that younger reporters who once sought his counsel were now fearful of his ravings, and they avoided him.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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96ccc79
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Love isn't about thinking. You should know that by now.
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love
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Carl Hiaasen |
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4935176
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Guess I'll have to come back another day and try again, Roy thought. That's what a real Florida boy would do.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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70df9c4
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GRASS, LIKE NEARLY EVERYTHING else in China, is subject to political interpretation. Historically, the Chinese have taken a dim view of grass. In Peking's parks, the dirt is swept daily, since cleanliness is prized, but gardeners relentlessly uproot any tuft of grass. Grass breeds disease, generations of Chinese have been taught. Additionally, Communist doctrine teaches that grass is decadent, since it is usually associated with leisured cl..
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Carl Hiaasen |
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1ee53b7
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She said there was no tactful way for a naked person to cope with a runny nose, especially while dancing. Orly grudgingly agreed.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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f287770
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Coroners made Al Garcia jumpy; they always got so cheery when somebody came up with a fresh way to die.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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5ca9648
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You won't change the whole world, but you'll change somebody's world - and for the better. And, just as inevitably, some of you won't. You'll park your principles in the long-term lot and spend your future taking advantage of people. (pg. 39)
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Carl Hiaasen |
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dbd0a6c
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In other words, we saved an animal from extinction just so we could start killing it again. How messed up is that?
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Carl Hiaasen |
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d661f81
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Mick Stranahan's sister was married to a lawyer named Kipper Garth, inept in all aspects of the profession except self-promotion.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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4f45bb7
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The dog proved to be as dumb and stubborn as a mud fence, so Stranahan had named him Strom.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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c725ec6
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Mr. B. D. Harper's death was a milestone. It may have seemed an atrocity to you; to us, it was poetry. Contrary to what you'd like to believe, this was not the act of a sick person, but the raging of a powerful new underclass. Mr. Harper's death was not a painful one, but it was unusual, and we trust that it got your attention. Soon we start playing for keeps. Wait for number three! El Fuego, Comandante, Las Noches de Diciembre
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Carl Hiaasen |
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0ded431
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Cab Mulcahy poured the coffee. Skip Wiley drank.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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ad1b44d
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Skip, that's one of about forty things on my list. It isn't funny anymore. You're fucking up on a regular basis. You miss deadlines, you libel people, you invent ludicrous facts and put them in the paper. I've got a lawyer downstairs who does nothing but fight off litigation against your column. We've had to print seven retractions in the last four months--that's a new record, by the way. No other managing editor in the history of this news..
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Carl Hiaasen |
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88dda0e
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Sit down, Skip. I'm not finished." Mulcahy stood up, brandishing the stack of columns. "You know what makes me sad? You're such a damn good writer, too good to be turning out shit like this. Something's happened the last few months. You've been slipping away. I think you're sick." Wiley winced. "Sick?"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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83d11da
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I took all your columns from the last four months," Mulcahy said, "and I gave them to Dr. Courtney, the psychiatrist. " "Jesus! He's a wacko, Cab. The guy has a thing for animals. I've heard this from seven or eight sources. Ducks and geese, stuff like that."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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8fa3b75
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also want you to go to an internist. Courtney says the mental degeneration has occurred so rapidly that it could be pathological. A tumor or something.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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49bae07
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dug in, but he seemed to be feeling no
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Carl Hiaasen |
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ab6a1e8
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Wiley wrote a daily column for the Sun and probably was the best-known journalist in Miami.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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8b3f380
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Skip Wiley was thirty-seven years old but he had the eyes of an old Gypsy.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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60e324f
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want Mrs. Starch to come back!
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a234ae0
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Brian Keyes slouched on a worn bench in the lobby of the Dade County jail, waiting to see the creep the cops just caught.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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9192ae0
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private investigator. Which he actually was. So the turtle-eyed sergeant ignored him.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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504a264
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Ernesto Cabal, alias Little Ernie, alias No-Way Jose, was sitting disconsolately on the crapper when the trusty opened the cell for Brian Keyes.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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86d98e8
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Keyes opened his briefcase. "You a lawyer, Mr. Keyes?" "Nope. I'm an investigator. I was hired by your lawyers to help you."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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e198a9c
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But I got some great buy on this Oldsmobile. You can't believe it." "Probably not." "I got it from a black guy." "For?" "Two hundred bucks."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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48e753b
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No fooling, Keyes thought. He had arrived in Miami in 1979 from a small newspaper in suburban Baltimore. There was nothing original about why he'd left for Florida--a better job, no snow, plenty of sunshine. On his first day at the Miami Sun, Keyes had been assigned the desk next to Skip Wiley--the newsroom equivalent of Parris Island. Keyes covered cops for a while, then courts, then local politics.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a7dae99
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Still doing divorces?" Al Garcia asked. "Here and there." Keyes hated to admit it, but that's what covered the rent: he'd gotten damn good at staking out nooner motels with his three-hundred-millimeter Nikon. That was another reason for Al Garcia's affability. Last year he had hired Brian Keyes to get the goods on his new son-in-law. Garcia despised the kid, and was on the verge of outright murdering him when he called Keyes for help. Keyes..
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Carl Hiaasen |
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36a13af
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I mean, you've got thirty detectives working on this murder, right? You must have had a list of suspects." "Not on this one." "So what we're talking about is blind luck. Some Beach cop nails the guy for running a traffic light and, bingo, there's Mr. Sparky Harper's missing automobile." "Luck was only part of it," Garcia said sourly. Keyes said, "You caught Cabal in the victim's car, but what else?"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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fde009d
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he was bitten in the groin by a Belgian shepherd trainee named Kong, and he required three operations, culminating in a scrotal graft from a Brahma steer.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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c575759
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horse's ass,
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Carl Hiaasen |
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3da89dd
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It occurred to Yancy that, in the time they'd known each other, he hadn't once seen her look at her cell phone. She never texted, tweeted, Facebooked, Instagrammed, or posted a single picture when they were together. He found this behavior alluring.
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Carl Hiaasen |