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b14dec1
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I believe it's never too late to change. I'm eighty-one years old, but I still think I can be a better person tomorrow than I am today. And that's what I'll believe until I run out of tomorrows.
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life
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Carl Hiaasen |
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ace1ebc
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Each week the writers strived to portray the brothers on a social bandwidth halfway between harmless rednecks and odious white trash. It was a precarious tightwire. From
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Carl Hiaasen |
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038f8fe
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the match.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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99d01f5
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One day he came home to find her burning his collection of heavy-metal CDs, which she had taken to calling "devil wafers." She"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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c65bfee
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The vandals didn't stand a chance against five hundred-odd pounds of badass dog flesh. They
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Carl Hiaasen |
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224ee67
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sucking on a football.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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419dbc9
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Don't order the fish," Yancy advised Merry when they sat down. "But it's a seafood joint." "More like a petri dish with menus. When they say 'catch of the day,' they mean infection." Brennan"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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bccc266
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It occurred to Yancy that, in the time they'd known each other, he hadn't once seen her look at her cell phone. She never texted, tweeted, Facebooked, Instagrammed, or posted a single picture when they were together. He found this behavior alluring. The
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Carl Hiaasen |
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031b765
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Bode Gazzer was five feet six and had never forgiven his parents for it. He wore three-inch snakeskin shitkickers and walked with a swagger that suggested not brawn so much as hemorrhoidal tribulation.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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672d68a
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Despite the meatiness of his fingers, Dominick showed himself to be a nimble texter.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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2a634a2
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Martin Trebeaux had purchased a fleet of marine barges using the proceeds from a poshly falsified BP oil-spill claim.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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06213b8
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Buck's girlfriend went by the porny name of Miracle though she had a master's in computer science from Florida State.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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61a06d6
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his mother wanted him closer to home. The funeral had been
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Carl Hiaasen |
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3f2aa41
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dude ranch,
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Carl Hiaasen |
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f7af4b0
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Malley told the shrink that she'd run away because Justin
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Carl Hiaasen |
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62a141e
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Cuban cigars,
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Carl Hiaasen |
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70e2f28
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Morphy,
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a395865
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It was inevitable that the poacher and the counterfeiter would bond, sharing as they did a blanket contempt for government, taxes, homosexuals, immigrants, minorities, gun laws, assertive women and honest work.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a21a919
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Only because you're injured," she said, and kissed him again. He pulled her close. "How's this going to work with all these stitches? Do I have to keep standing?" "Well," whispered Rosa, "I suppose you could kneel." Yancy lifted her sundress. "You're the doctor."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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0d93991
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Here, inmates would spend seven days and six nights being drilled on vacation etiquette. For example, they'd be taught how to read speed-limit signs; how to park within the parallel lines of a parking space; how to drink and dispose of alcohol; how to vomit inconspicuously; how to steer a Jet Ski and chew gum at the same time.... The drill instructors would be selected from an elite pool of former Highway Patrol troopers, ex-Navy SEALs, and..
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Carl Hiaasen |
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3a55117
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The innards of Ping's G5 were supposedly computer-engineered with a process called "finite-element analysis," a term that for all I know was stolen from an old Star Trek episode."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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62ff8ea
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I don't care if you pack it in fucking kryptonite, that lottery ticket ain't going up your ass.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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39b1946
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Florida needs a special prison for tourists. Not all tourists--just the ones who trash the place, rob, shoplift, vandalize, drive drunk, assault the cops, puke in the alleys, pee in the medians, and so on.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a7db887
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stick together like shit on a shoe.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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9b2fe10
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A well-regulated militia," Bode added, "like they talk about in the Second Amendment." "Oh," said Shiner. He hadn't read the first one yet."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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2c5d34a
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Mr. Cabal's lawyer didn't appreciate your description of his client as 'yellow-bellied vermin culled from the stinkpot of Castro's jails for discharge at Mariel's harbor of shame.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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0bbd294
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Nope. He lives over in Boca Raton." "Oh fuck, Red." "I know, it's hor'ble. That's how come the five hundred a day."
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Carl Hiaasen |
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c949873
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by Monroe County Sheriff Sonny Summers said
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Carl Hiaasen |
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5cb09aa
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The Dragon Queen was firm: No sex, no more voodoo curses on Christopher.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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acbae1f
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I didn't tell my parents what happened because they would've freaked and gone straight to Dusty Muleman, or maybe even the police, which was not how I wanted to handle it.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a33983b
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As he was pulled underwater for the final time, terror gave way to abject humiliation: he was being fucked to death by a damn fish.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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0a1061c
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Dragging baits in the ocean was different than jigging for walleyes in the lake back home.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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91373b2
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Underwood." Normally"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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d608dbd
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As for Dr. Remond Courtney, his golf swing was so unusual that from a distance he appeared to be beating a snake to death. It was a very violent golf swing for a psychiatrist. He managed an eight on the first hole and still won it by two strokes.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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8ab7a4c
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A big farming operation like his was a challenging enterprise, relying as it did on rampant pollution and the systematic mistreatment of immigrant labor. For Red it was no small feat to keep the feds off his back while at the same time soaking taxpayers for lucrative crop subsidies and dirt-cheap loans that might or might not be repaid this century.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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78356dd
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cell phone the night he died. She'd obtained this key information
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Carl Hiaasen |
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e23b684
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Dessert was an over baked chocolate chip cookies the size of a hockey puck and just about as tasty.
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humour
funny
dessert
joke
food
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Carl Hiaasen |
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1dd774c
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Boyd Shreave tore the page from Eugenie Fonda's memoir and, with a contemptuous flourish, wiped his ass with it.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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1d54acf
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The classroom fell quiet, a long heavy silence that roared in Roy's ears like a train.
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simile
silence
train
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Carl Hiaasen |
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6557b29
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He paused and manufactured a chuckle.
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imagery
laugh
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Carl Hiaasen |
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4915b58
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losing his hair. "Ms. Chase and me,"
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Carl Hiaasen |
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461378d
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Carla Crumworthy, heiress to the Crumworthy panty-shield fortune. She had come to complain about the collagen injections that Rudy Graveline had administered to give her full, sensual lips, which is just what every rheumatoid seventy-one-year-old woman
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Carl Hiaasen |
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a24f6ed
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The message, never stated but avuncularly implied, is that America's values ought to reflect those of the Walt Disney Company and not the other way around.
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Carl Hiaasen |
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dc7a30e
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and the Chamber of Commerce was handing out cyanide capsules.
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Carl Hiaasen |