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56fde18 When I saw myself through my parents' eyes, I saw a worm crawling through mud and shit toward a psychedelic mushroom, but when I saw myself through hers, I felt that things were possibly not as bad as they seemed. David Sedaris
95117d1 Buy it." This is my sister Amy's advice in regard to everything, from a taxidermied horse head to a camouflage thong. "Just get it," she says. "You'll feel better." Eye something closely or pick it up for further inspection, and she'll move in to justify the cost. "It's not really that expensive, and, besides, won't you be getting a tax refund? Go on. Treat yourself." David Sedaris
724c168 You're trying to convince me?" Amy asked. "The one who has a second apartment two blocks from her first apartment just so she can get away from her rabbit for a couple of hours a day?" David Sedaris
e287cc2 Shit is the tofu of cursing. David Sedaris
bdaba17 Because I was lazy, I'd adopted the philosophy that things just happen. David Sedaris
0a101a7 'It is ironic that nudists are just about the last people you'd ever want to see naked. David Sedaris
1c70d59 If cooking is an art, I think we're in our Dada phase. David Sedaris
b148a72 Cut corners and it'll always come back to bite you in the ass." That was one of her sayings. David Sedaris
f74d6a1 Her face was like the weather in one of those places with no discernible seasons. David Sedaris
ae28f50 If you talk to people, you can have whatever you want. David Sedaris
e2a2be4 It's fun to see where people live. David Sedaris
eb48a4d The inevitable finally happened, just as I knew it would. David Sedaris