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724ddcf
|
Some people got vicious Dobermans. I got a shaved attack poodle in a black sweater. His tough, spawn-of-hell image had taken a fatal blow, but at least he would be warm.
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|
magic-bleeds
ilona-andrews
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
397854f
|
Maybe I should add some graffiti to spice it up. For a good time call the Consort. Beast Lord eats your food and turns into a lion in his sleep. Mahon has hemorrhoids. Boudas do it better. Warning, paranoid attack jaguar on the prowl...
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
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7e940bb
|
Hey, would you look at that shit?" I turned on my heel. The patrons who'd fled at the first hint of trouble had come back and were enjoying the spectacle. "Clear out!" I barked. They paid me no mind. Asshole innocent bystanders."
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|
paranormal
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
24f057d
|
And if the Pack Council produces any kittens, we'll give them to Jim to raise. He needs to mellow out anyway." I looked at him. He took his hands off the wheel and held them apart about six inches. "Cute fluffy kittens. Just sitting on Jim's lap." I pictured Jim with his badass-chief-of-security expression covered in small fluffy kittens. It was too much. The numbness inside me broke, like a dam. I giggled and laughed. Curran laughed, too."
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
9aa4f3c
|
Aha," Andrea said. "I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'."
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|
sugar-woogums
magic-slays
ilona-andrews
kate
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
ede5cc8
|
Just to make sure the odd humanoid aberration doesn't get away, always pin it through the nuts.
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
7cb37d3
|
William leaned forward and pointed at the river. "I don't know why you rolled in spaghetti sauce," he said in a confidential voice. "I don't really care. But that water over there won't hurt you. Try washing it off." She stuck her tongue out. "Maybe after you're clean," he said. Her eyes widened. She stared at him for a long moment. A little crazy spark lit up in her dark irises. She raised her finger, licked it, and rubbed some dirt off he..
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
27efba9
|
At first glance you looked at Kate and thought "fighter," maybe merc. Five inches taller than me, she was all muscle--well, and some boobs--but mostly muscle. She moved like a predator and when she got pissed off, she exhaled aggression, like hot breath on a winter evening. Still, men looked, until they saw her eyes. Kate's eyes were crazy. It was that hidden-deep crazy that told you that you had no idea what the hell she would do next but ..
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|
ilona-andrews
kate-daniels
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
73da51a
|
Some men got excited by white lace and a translucent negligee. My love muffin got excited by a woman dressed to murder. There was probably something deeply twisted about that. Lucky for me, negligees were never my thing.
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
9322323
|
We don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns. How do you know he is a sex fiend? He is fifteen and he's a bouda. Hello?
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|
ascanio
kate
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
f298bde
|
Would you like to work here with me? We have no clients and the pay is shit.
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|
kate
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
f38e467
|
Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can.
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
ee2a669
|
He referred to you as his little snack." "He's a sweetie."
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
326939b
|
I have had it up to here with my wedding," I said. "The other day Andrea tried to explain to me that apparently I am supposed to have a new thing, an old thing, a blue thing, and something stolen." "Borrowed, Kate," Barabas murmured. "Who the hell even makes up those rules?" --
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|
kate
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
beadccd
|
But she was funny sometimes, and never boring. God, it would almost be worth it to see her face when she realized that I had saved her ass again. Actually it was quite a nice ass, come to think of it. In fact, my memory of the ass and its owner seemed to be remarkably clear.
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
fde67ab
|
Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that's creepy.
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|
sleep
watching-someone-sleep
kate-daniels
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
077a242
|
Enough," Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo."
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|
kate
jim
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
63d18b6
|
Anger - a better alternative to caffeine.
|
|
caffeine
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
b3a96f0
|
Andrea turned her back to Desandra and rolled her eyes. Raphael grimaced. They both looked scandalized. Dear God, what could she have said to scandalize a bouda... "No, really!" Desandra nodded. "Okay, so most guys don't have a nice ball sack, right? It looks all hairy and wrinkled like some small animal died between their legs, but Gerardo's is like two plums in a velvet bag..." Derek, who'd been lingering in the doorway, took a careful st..
|
|
raphael
kate-daniels
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
986abf9
|
Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return.
|
|
magic-strikes
raphael
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
f36cfe9
|
Consort," I said. "You honor us." "Fuck you," Dali said. "Fuck your shit. I quit."
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
61be7f9
|
Curran roared. The blast of noise erupting from his mouth was like thunder. I clenched up, fighting the urge to step back. "Yes I can," he snarled. "Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do." I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat."
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
7a0ca68
|
The Beast Lord way: often wrong but never in doubt.
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
5bc596a
|
Who is Hunter Becker?" "Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?" "I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing."
|
|
kate-daniels
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
e50a812
|
We should clap or something." Curran said. "She's trying so hard."
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
75bf731
|
Do you know what most people have from their grandmother? A tea set. Or a quilt." Curran smiled. "If your family had a quilt, it would be made out of chimera skin and stuffed with feathers from dead angels."
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|
sword
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
7540a5e
|
Sit your ass down, Don Juanabe," Derek said. "Don Juanabe?" Ascanio pulled out his swords. "Don Juan Wannabe," Derek explained. "See I shortened it. If you still don't get it, I'll write it down for you after the fight." "You've maxed out your wit quota for the night," Ascanio said. "I'm just getting started." "Be careful, you might sprain something in your brain."
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|
humor
derek
banter
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
d693a5a
|
He poked his finger into my chest again. "Well, I have something to tell you: don't let the sun set on you in this county, because..." I grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward, tripping him with my foot. He went down back first and I caught him by his throat, three feet above the ground, lifted him up a bit and bent down to his face. My eyes glowed with murderous red. My voice turned rough with an animal growl. "Listen well, because I won..
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
d264373
|
One does not simply Roland." Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next."
|
|
ghastek
kate-daniels
kate
funny-quotes
mordor
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
faa157c
|
He poked his finger into my chest again. "Well, I have something to tell you: don't let the sun set on you in this county, because..." I grabbed his wrist and yanked him forward, tripping him with my foot. He went down back first and I caught him by his throat, three feet above the ground, lifted him up a bit and bent down to his face. My eyes glowed with murderous red. My voice turned rough with an animal growl. "Listen well, because I won..
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
e5b8bde
|
When life backs you into a corner and offers you no escape, when your friends, your lover, and your family abandon you, when you're at the end of your rope, panicked, alone, and losing your mind, you know you'd give anything to make your problems go away. Then, desperate and eager, you will come to Unicorn Lane, seeking salvation in its magics and secrets. You'll do anything, pay any price. Unicorn Lane will take you in, shroud you in its p..
|
|
unicor-lane
magic-bites
ilona-andrews
kate-daniels
kate
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
f3158f8
|
Across from me at the next row of supports Jim raised his hand and touched his fingers to his thumb a few times, imitating an opening and closing beak. Negotiate. He wanted me to engage a lunatic who had already turned four people into smoking meat. Okay. I could do that. "Alright, Jeremy!" I yelled into the night. "Give me the salamander and I won't cut your head off!" Jim put his hand over his face and did some shaking. I thought he was ..
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
435846f
|
Her imagination painted Georgie twenty years later, sitting in leg irons before some Broken psychiatrist. "Well, you see, it all started with bubbles..."
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
345cc6c
|
Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. "I'm just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?" "Sure." Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn't the best idea."
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
970010e
|
If you're really hard up, I can introduce you to my grandmother. She's a fan." Adam blinked. "She doesn't typically sleep with pretty young things, but she would make an exception in your case. You might even learn a trick or two." --
|
|
nevada-baylor
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
515fd27
|
DOES EVERYBODY THINK I am an asshole?" Curran asked. "Only people who know you or have met you."
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
ce89439
|
Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?" Ghastek asked. "Nope, I'm just here to look pretty."
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
19a01bc
|
Isn't that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would've thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate." Barabas grinned. "I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus," Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige."
|
|
saiman
kate-daniels
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
1327f9d
|
How about you don't kill anybody for a little bit?" "I can't make that promise." Small talk with the dragon. How are you? Eaten any adventurers lately? Sure, just had one this morning. Look, I still got his femur stuck in my teeth. Is that upsetting to you?"
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|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
7ed73b2
|
Have you called the alphas?" "Yes." "The rats, too?" He bristled. "What about the rats?" "They think you're hiding information from them" "I hide information from everyone. Do they think they're special?"
|
|
kate-daniels
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
199b17a
|
Mmmm, Kate, the Chief of Security. Sexy. Who better to guard my body then the woman who owns it?" "Curran, I will punch you."
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
267425f
|
Let's have a partnership, Kate. I offer honesty, Kate. I don't have to outrun the Beast Lord I just pissed off, Kate. I only have to outrun you and hit you with my car as I hightail it out of here.
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
2744b46
|
So this is what it's about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s'mores with a gnome and a mountain man." "Yep" "What's your plan for tomorrow? Brunch with a unicorn?"
|
|
kate
|
Ilona Andrews |
|
d7ca5ad
|
When a man takes up arms, he does so for many reasons. Sometimes to punish, sometimes to intimidate or frighten. But when a woman picks up a weapon, she means to kill.
|
|
|
Ilona Andrews |