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ebd4af6
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Lady Constance's lips tightened, and a moment passed during which it seemed always a fifty-fifty chance that a handsome silver ink-pot would fly through the air in the direction of her brother's head.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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469a295
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It sometimes seems to me that in this life we've all got to have trouble sooner or later, and some of us gets it bit by bit, spread out thin, so to speak, and a few of us gets it in a lump--biff!
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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444db60
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Lady Kimbuck's eyes gleamed. She took the package eagerly. She never lost an opportunity of reading compromising letters. She enjoyed them as literature, and there was never any knowing when they might come in useful.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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3a4e86b
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He returned with the tissue-restorer. I loosed it down the hatch, and after undergoing the passing discomfort, unavoidable when you drink Jeeves's patent morning revivers, of having the top of the skull fly up to the ceiling and the eyes shoot out of their sockets and rebound from the opposite wall like racquet balls, felt better. It
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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96a51e9
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And what," he inquired"
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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073af22
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Let us say, then, that at some point--five, ten, fifteen, or it may have been twenty minutes later--I became aware of somebody coughing softly at my side like a respectful sheep trying to attract the attention of its shepherd, and with how can I describe what thankfulness and astonishment I perceived Jeeves.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6898a0e
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The snail was on the wing and the lark on the thorn - or, rather, the other way around - and God was in His heaven and all right with the world. And presently the eyes closed, the muscles relaxed, the breathing became soft and regular, and sleep, which does something which has slipped my mind to the something sleeve of care, poured over me in a healing wave.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e95463c
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What ho!' I said. 'What ho!' said Motty. 'What ho! What ho!' 'What ho! What ho! What ho!' After that it seemed rather difficult to go on with the conversation.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f3853df
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It may work, Jeeves. It is, at least, worth trying. I shall now leave you, to prepare myself for the ordeal before me with silent meditation.' 'Your tea will be here in a moment, sir.' 'No, Jeeves. This is no time for tea. I must concentrate.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f8ff690
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The effect now was much the same as if I had been listening in to a dramatic sketch on the wireless. I got the voices, but I missed the play of expression. And I'd have given a lot to be able to see it. Not Jeeves's, of course, because Jeeves never has any.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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d9643b6
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Of course I think so. Have you forgotten what I told you the other day?' 'Yes,' said Lord Emsworth. He always forgot what people told him the other day.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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583b63e
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You should have seen him. Such a kind smile. He said you would be delighted to help me.' 'He did, eh?' 'He spoke most highly of you.' 'Really?' 'Oh, yes, he thinks a lot of you. I remember his very words. "Mr Wooster, miss," he said, "is, perhaps, mentally somewhat negligible, but he has a heart of gold." He said that as he was lowering me from the side of the boat by a rope, having first made sure that the coast was clear. I couldn't dive,..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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7599c66
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If you see a man asking for trouble, and insisting on getting it, the only thing to do is to stand by and wait till it comes to him. After that you may get a chance. But till then there's nothing to be done.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b90e71e
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Life in the country, with its lack of intellectual stimulus, has caused his natural feebleness of mind to reach a stage which borders closely on insanity. His
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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014fac8
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I was back at the flat so quick that I nearly met myself coming out.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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8455cfd
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The rose that lives its little hour is prized beyond the sculptured flower.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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a2fee27
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Nothing upsets a fowl more than having to wait for dinner.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5ce6686
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He had never measured a footprint in his life, and what he did not know about bloodstains would have filled a library.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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a141b8b
|
It's a hell for the poor, in New York. An iron, grinding city. It frightens you. It's so big and hard and cruel. It takes the fight out of you.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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0f15c0f
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I see no percentage in your being alive. I wish you were a corpse, preferably a mangled one. I should like to dance on your remains.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f3666a5
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I hope that this will be a lesson to you not to go to fancy-dress balls as a lizard. If fewer people went about the place pretending to be lizards, this would be a better and sweeter world.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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d51c0cb
|
He was really only a sort of detective, a species
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e364dba
|
I have no doubt that you could have flung bricks by the hour in England's most densely populated districts without endangering the safety of a single girl capable of becoming Mrs. Augustus Fink-Nottle without an anaesthetic.
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humour
marriage
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f12cd24
|
It is the saddest spectacle in the world, that of the crowd collected by a 'Wanted' advertisement. They are so palpably not wanted by any one for any purpose whatsoever; yet every time they gather together with a sort of hopeful hopelessness.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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90d9984
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I simply said he was a detective, and let it go at that, I should be obtaining the reader's interest under false pretences. He was really only a sort of detective, a species of sleuth. At Stafford's International Investigation Bureau, in the Strand,
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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1771e2e
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Mary, in these days, simply couldn't see that he was on the earth. She looked round him, above him, and through him, but never at him;
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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903fb3c
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It was a silver cow. But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow. This was a sinister, leering, Underworld sort of animal, the kind that would spit out of the side of its mouth for twopence. It was about four inches high and six long. Its back opened on a hinge. Its tail was arched, so that the tip touched the spine-..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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c62cf56
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beggars approached the task of trying to persuade perfect strangers to bear the burden of their maintenance with that optimistic vim which makes all the difference.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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2027eb9
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Jeeves' eyes had taken on the look of cautious reserve which you see in those of parrots, when offered half a banana by a stranger of whose bona fides they are not convinced.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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1e16f94
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No burglar wastes his time burgling authors.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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293d811
|
Boko looked at me, and raised his eyebrows. I looked at Boko, and raised my eyebrows. Nobby looked at us both, and raised her eyebrows. Then we looked at Stilton, and all raised our eyebrows. It was one of those big eyebrow-raising mornings.
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jeeves
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5508941
|
We all shook hands, and the policeman, having retrieved a piece of chewing-gum from the underside of a chair, where he had parked it against a rainy day, went off into a corner and began to contemplate the infinite.
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dry-humour
humour
policemen
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5bb2bae
|
You can't expect an empty aunt to beam like a full aunt.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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8890cb4
|
I said, 'Don't talk rot, Old Tom Travers." "I am not accustomed to talk rot," he said. "Then, for a beginner," I said, "you do it dashed well."
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humor
humour
jeeves
jeeves-and-wooster
retort
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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7d8cb89
|
I'm not much of a ladies' man, but on this particular morning it seemed to me that what I really wanted was some charming girl to buzz up and ask me to save her from assassins or something.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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7cde0be
|
Sir Roderick Glossop, Honoria's father, is always called a nerve specialist, because it sounds better, but everybody knows that he's a sort of janitor to the looney-bin. I mean to say, when your uncle the Duke begins to feel the strain a bit and you find him in the blue drawing room sticking straws in his hair, old Glossop is the first person you send for. ... Practically every posh family in the country has called him in at one time or ano..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6269564
|
It was a morning when all nature shouted "Fore!" The breeze, as it blew gently up from the valley, seemed to bring a message of hope and cheer, whispering of chip-shots holed and brassies landing squarely on the meat. The fairway, as yet unscarred by the irons of a hundred dubs, smiled greenly up at the azure sky; and the sun, peeping above the trees, looked like a giant golf-ball perfectly lofted by the mashie of some unseen god and about ..
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humour
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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29bec36
|
man who forgets what day he was married, when he's been married one year, will forget, at about the end of the fourth, that he's married at
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b805f37
|
you can't start painting portraits till people come along and ask you to, and they won't come and ask you to until you've painted a lot first. This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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3b4df58
|
I've just become a Socialist. It's a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property, and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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14fdce1
|
Lord Emsworth belonged to the people-who-like-to-be-left-alone- to-amuse-themselves-when-they-come-to-a-place school of hosts.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e7c3b9c
|
The train began to give up its contents, now in ones and twos, now in a steady stream.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e6cdf2c
|
This woman always made Freddie feel as if he were being disembowelled by some clumsy amateur.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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a5e6586
|
Lord Emsworth had one of those minds capable of accommodating but one thought at a time--if that.
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P.G. Wodehouse |