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0d718ad
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Sir?" said Jeeves, kind of manifesting himself. One of the rummy things about Jeeves is that, unless you watch like a hawk, you very seldom see him come into a room. He's like one of those weird chappies in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly wo..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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ea3dac8
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Wait a minute while I think," said Miss Peavey. There was a pause. Miss Peavey sat with knit brows. "How would it be..." ventured Mr. Cootes. "Cheese it!" said Miss Peavey. Mr. Cootes cheesed it."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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852fd3e
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Billie knew all. And, terrible though the fact is as an indictment of the male sex, when a woman knows all, there is invariably trouble ahead for some man.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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9030d67
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I say, Bertie, is it really true that you were once engaged to Honoria?" "It is." Biffy coughed. "How did you get out - I mean, what was the nature of the tragedy that prevented the marriage?" "Jeeves worked it. He thought out the entire scheme." "I think, before I go," said Biffy thoughtfully, "I'll just step into the kitchen and have a word with Jeeves." I felt that the situation called for complete candour. "Biffy, old egg," I said, "as ..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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1e3d2f0
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One of the advantages a sister has when arguing with a brother is that she is under no obligation to be tactful. If she wishes to tell him that he is an idiot and ought to have his head examined, she can do so and, going further, can add that it is a thousand pities that no-one ever thought of smothering him with a pillow in his formative years.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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d531e42
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I wonder the food didn't turn to ashes in our mouths! Eggs! Muffins! Sardines! All wrung from the bleeding lips of the starving poor!" "Oh, I say! What a beastly idea!"... Jeeves came in to clear away, and found me sitting among the ruins. It was all very well for Comrade Butt to knock the food, but he had pretty well finished the ham; and if you had shoved the remainder of the jam into the bleeding lips of the starving poor it would hardly..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6155c45
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I don't know why it is, but women who have anything to do with Opera, even if they're only studying for it, always appear to run to surplus poundage.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6bb53dd
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The boy is of an outspoken disposition, and had made an opprobrious remark respecting my personal appearance." "What did he say about your appearance?" "I have forgotten, sir," said Jeeves, with a touch of austerity. "But it was opprobrious."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5814b98
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If she ever turned into a werewolf, it would be one of those jolly breezy werewolves whom it is a pleasure to know.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6d18fa4
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I'm a bit short on brain myself; the old bean would appear to have been constructed more for ornament than for use, don't you know...
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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c617326
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Angela nearly got inhaled by a shark while aquaplaning.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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8f18af3
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It would take more than long-stemmed roses to change my view that you're a despicable cowardy custard and a disgrace to a proud family. Your ancestors fought in the Crusades and were often mentioned in despatches, and you cringe like a salted snail at the thought of appearing as Santa Claus before an audience of charming children who wouldn't hurt a fly. It's enough to make an aunt turn her face to the wall and give up the struggle.
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humorous
wodehouse
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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d44107d
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You remind me of an old cat I once had. Whenever he killed a mouse he would bring it into the drawing-room and lay it affectionately at my feet. I would reject the corpse with horror and turn him out, but back he would come with his loathsome gift. I simply couldn't make him understand that he was not doing me a kindness. He thought highly of his mouse and it was beyond him to realize that I did not want it. You are just the same with your ..
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humour
humor
suffragette
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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9cee568
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A chap's bedroom - you can't get way from it - is his castle, and he has every right to look askance if gargoyles come glaring in at him.
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right-ho-jeeves
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6252f1d
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I was in that painful condition which occurs when one has lost one's first wind and has not yet got one's second.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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2e8656d
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Too often on such occasions one feels, as I feel so strongly with regard to poor old Stilton, that the kindly thing to do would be to seize the prospective bridegroom's trousers in one's teeth and draw him back from danger, as faithful dogs do to their masters on the edge of precipices on dark nights.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f1538dc
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I really preferred to walk. I have only just landed in England from New York, and it's quite a treat to walk on an English country road again.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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9b55a93
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Bream Mortimer was tall and thin. He had small bright eyes and a sharply curving nose. He looked much more like a parrot than most parrots do. It gave strangers a momentary shock of surprise when they saw Bream Mortimer in restaurants, eating roast beef. They had the feeling that he would have preferred sunflower seeds.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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8a46a97
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The cosy glow which had been enveloping the Duke became shot through by a sudden chill. It was as if he had been luxuriating in a warm shower bath, and some hidden hand had turned on the cold tap.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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d1ebf17
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Apparently that dog of hers joined you in the water." Yes, that's right, he took his dip with the rest of us. But what's that got to do with it?" Wilbert Cream dived in and saved him." He could have got ashore perfectly well under his own steam. In fact, he was already on his way, doing what looked like an Australian crawl." That wouldn't occur to a pinhead like Phyllis. To her Wilbert Cream is the man who rescued her dachshund from a water..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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c5dc04c
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He looks much more like a lobster than most lobsters do.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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3661dac
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Gussie and I, as I say, had rather lost touch, but all the same I was exercised about the poor fish, as I am about all my pals, close or distant, who find themselves treading upon Life's banana skins.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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cbb6ceb
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Filled with a coward rage that dares to burn but does not dare to blaze, Lord Emsworth coughed a cough that was undisguisedly a bronchial white flag.
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wodehouse
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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c0de4bb
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Didn't Frankenstein get married?" "Did he?" said Eggy. "I don't know. I never met him. Harrow man, I expect."
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marriage
public-school
society
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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c652e4c
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Just as you say, sir. There is a letter on the tray, sir." "By Jove, Jeeves, that was practically potry. Rhymed, did you notice?"
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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4ddfce7
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There is enough sadness in life without having fellows like Gussie Fink-Nottle going about in sea boots.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5c00009
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It is never difficult to distinguish between with a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6290ec7
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It was one of the most disgusting spectacles I've ever seen-- this white-haired old man, who should have been thinking of the hereafter, standing there lying like an actor.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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0dc207f
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That's always the way in this world. The chappies you'd like to lend money to won't let you, whereas the chappies you don't want to lend it to will do everything except actually stand you on your head and lift the specie out of your pockets.
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money
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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2b2e2fc
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He picked up one of the dead bats and covered it with his handkerchief. 'Somebody's mother,' he murmured reverently.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e5765c4
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You probably think that being a guest in your aunt's house I would hesitate to butter you all over the front lawn and dance on the fragments in hobnailed boots, but you are mistaken. It would be a genuine pleasure. By an odd coincidence I brought a pair of hobnailed boots with me!' So saying, and recognising a good exit line when he saw one, he strode out, and after an interval of tense meditation I followed him. (Spode to Wooster)
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f2cfa41
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The trouble with you, Spode, is that just because you have succeeded in inducing a handful of half-wits to disfigure the London scene by going about in black shorts, you think you're someone. You hear them shouting "Heil, Spode!" and you imagine it is the Voice of the People. That is where you make your bloomer. What the Voice of the People is saying is: "Look at that frightful ass Spode swanking about in footer bags! Did you ever in your p..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5c9905e
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The fact that pigs were abroad in the night seemed to bring home to me the perilous nature of my enterprise.
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right-ho-jeeves
p-g-wodehouse
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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f199b9c
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He couldn't have moved quicker if he had been the dachshund Poppet, who at this juncture was running round in circles, trying, if I read his thoughts aright, to work off the rather heavy lunch he had had earlier in the afternoon.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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ef3ecf0
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He was in the frame of mind when a weaker man would have started writing poetry.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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937692f
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You won't mind my calling you Comrade, will you? I've just become a socialist. It's a great scheme. You ought to be one. You work for the equal distribution of property, and start by collaring all you can and sitting on it.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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0f18774
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What with one thing and another, I can't remember ever having been chirpier than at about this period in my career. Everything seemed to be going right. On three separate occasions horses on which I'd invested a sizeable amount won by lengths instead of sitting down to rest in the middle of the race, as horses usually do when I've got money on them. ~ Bertram "Bertie" Wooster - The Inimitable Jeeves"
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horse-racing
wooster
jeeves
wodehouse
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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4d3a1bb
|
If ever there was a bloke at the very mention of whose name it would be excusable for people to tremble like aspens, that bloke is Sir Roderick Glossop. He has an enormous bald head, all the hair which ought to be on it seeming to have run into his eyebrows, and his eyes go through you like a couple of Death Rays. "How are you, how are you, how are you?" I said, overcoming a slight desire to leap backwards out of the window."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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9182cba
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Hear that, Eustace? He wishes we were staying a good long time." "I expect it will seem a good long time," said Eustace, philosophically." --
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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2f3236d
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You can't go by what a girl says, when she's giving you the devil for making a chump of yourself. It's like Shakespeare. Sounds well, but doesn't mean anything.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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71cfd98
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She was one of those women who kind of numb a fellow's faculties. She made me feel as if I were ten years old and had been brought into the drawing-room in my Sunday clothes to say how-d'you-do.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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55b3314
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The discovery of some toy duck in the soap dish, presumably the property of some former juvenile visitor, contributed not a little to this new and happier frame of mind. What with one thing and another, I hadn't played with toy ducks in my bath for years, and I found the novel experience most invigorating. For the benefit of those interested, I may mention that if you shove the thing under the surface with the sponge and then let it go, it ..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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24e6187
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If I might suggest, sir--it is, of course, merely a palliative--but it has often been found in times of despondency that the assumption of formal evening dress has a stimulating effect on the morale.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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3d34a8a
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Honoria, you see, is one of those robust, dynamic girls with the muscles of a welter-weight and a laugh like a squadron of cavalry charging over a tin bridge. A beastly thing to have to face over the breakfast table. Brainy, moreover. The sort of girl who reduces you to pulp with sixteen sets of tennis and a few rounds of golf and then comes down to dinner as fresh as a daisy, expecting you to take an intelligent interest in Freud.
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P.G. Wodehouse |