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aeff422
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It seems to be one of Nature's laws that the most attractive girls should have the least attractive brothers. Fillmore Nicholas had not worn well. At the age of seven he had been an extraordinarily beautiful child, but after that he had gone all to pieces; and now, at the age of twenty-five, it would be idle to deny that he was something of a mess.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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735aa05
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I say, you don't know how I could raise fifty quid somehow, do you?" "Why don't you work?" "Work?" said young Bingo, surprised. "What, me? No, I shall have to think of some way."
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work
gentry
aristocracy
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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26c4dcc
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He looked like a vulture dissatisfied with its breakfast corpse.
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vulture
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5da27d0
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But why do you want me? I mean, what am I? Ask yourself that." "I often have."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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1c7343c
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INTERVIEWER Have you ever been envious of another writer?
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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4f2e1f1
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But when I say 'cow', don't go running away with the idea of some decent, self-respecting cudster such as you may observe loading grass into itself in the nearest meadow.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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003cde2
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I couldn't have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and deduce that he is a retired manufacturer of poppet valves named Robinson with rheumatism in one arm, living at Clapham.
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detectives
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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991b2cb
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You can't fling the hands up in a passionate gesture when you are driving a car at fifty miles an hour. Otherwise, I should have done so.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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0850485
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I'm much too much the popular pet ever since I sang 'Every Nice Girl Loves A Sailor' at the village concert last year. I had them rolling in the aisles. Three encores, and so many bows that I got a crick in the back." "Spare me the tale of your excesses," I said distantly. "I wore a sailor suit." "Please," I said, revolted."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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6bafdbe
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Feminine psychology is admittedly odd, sir. The poet Pope..." "Never mind about the poet Pope, Jeeves." "No, sir."
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poets
humor
bertie-wooster
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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47b6f0b
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The true philosopher is a man who says "All right," and goes to sleep in his armchair."
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philosophy
resignation
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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77354ca
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Would you say my head was like a pumpkin, Wooster?' 'Not a bit, old man.' 'Not like a pumpkin?' 'No, not like a pumpkin. A touch of the dome of St Paul's, perhaps.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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2270eeb
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You see, the catch about portrait painting-- I've looked into the thing a bit-- is that you can't start painting portraits till people come along and ask you to, and they won't come and ask you to until you've painted a lot first. This makes it kind of difficult for a chappie.
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life-lessons
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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fe15459
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Aunts Aren't Gentlemen
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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ef5a88a
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He keeps looking at me so oddly." "Oddly? How? Give me an imitation."
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love
dyspepsia
courtship
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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ac74487
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Good Lord, Jeeves! Is there anything you don't know?' 'I couldn't say, sir.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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44d164e
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You must meet old Rowbotham, Bertie. A delightful chap. Wants to massacre the bourgeoisie, sack Park Lane and disembowel the hereditary aristocracy. Well, nothing could be fairer than that, what?
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b1ad90b
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He seemed to be doing his best to marry into a family of pronounced loonies, and how the deuce he thought he was going to support even a mentally afflicted wife on nothing a year beat me. Old Bittlesham was bound to knock off his allowance if he did anything of the sort and, with a fellow like young Bingo, if you knocked off his allowance, you might just as well hit him on the head with an axe and make a clean job of it.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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64037e9
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Well, the natives seemed fairly friendly, so I decided to stay the night." I made a mental note never to seem fairly friendly to an explorer. If you do, he always decides to stay the night."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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87e4e5b
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More and more, it was beginning to be borne in upon me what a particularly difficult chap Gussie was to help. He seemed to so marked an extent to lack snap and finish. With infinite toil, you manoeuvred him into a position where all he had to do was charge ahead, and he didn't charge ahead, but went off sideways, missing the objective completely.
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right-ho-jeeves
p-g-wodehouse
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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941167f
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The Paddock was one of those medium-sized houses with a goodish bit of very tidy garden and a carefully rolled gravel drive curving past a shrubbery that looked as if it had just come back from the dry cleaner - the sort of house you take one look at and say to yourself, "Somebody's aunt lives there."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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70819ad
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Stimulated by the juice, I believe, men have even been known to ride alligators.
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men
love
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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995e0df
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Had his brain been constructed of silk, he would have been hard put to it to find sufficient material to make a canary a pair of cami-knickers.
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canary
knickers
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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3a3270d
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At a time when she was engaged to Stilton Cheesewright, I remember recording in the archives that she was tall and willowy with a terrific profile and luxuriant platinum blond-hair, the sort of girl who might, as far as looks were concerned, have been the star unit of the harem of one of the better-class sultans.
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looks
woman
harem
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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9c1459d
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He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A beautiful, pure, bred Persian. He has taken prizes." "He's always taking something - generally food." --
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humor
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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39aaef6
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It's brain," I said; "pure brain! What do you do to get like that, Jeeves? I believe you must eat a lot of fish, or something. Do you eat a lot of fish, Jeeves?" "No, sir." "Oh, well, then, it's just a gift, I take it; and if you aren't born that way there's no use worrying."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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66e60c5
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I had one of those ideas I do sometimes get, though admittedly a chump of the premier class.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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608aee9
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Squiffy, have you ever felt a sort of strange emptiness in the heart? A sort of aching void of the soul?' 'Oh, rather!' 'What do you do about it?' 'I generally take a couple of cocktails.
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loneliness
depression
sorrow
humor
desolation
comedy
alcohol-addiction
emptiness
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b541be0
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Hypatia, like all girls who intend to be good wives, made it a practice to look on any suggestions thrown out by her future lord and master as fatuous and futile.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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54fb38c
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But, Ed! Say! Are you going to let him get away with it?" "Am going to let him get away with it!" said Mr. Cootes, annoyed by the foolish question. "Wake me up in the night and ask me!" "But what are you going to do?" "Do!" said Mr. Cootes. "Do! I'll tell you what I'm going to..." He paused, and the stern resolve that shone in his face seemed to flicker. "Say, what the hell I going do?" he went on somewhat weakly."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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3a26105
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What I mean is, if you're absolutely off your rocker, but don't find it convenient to be scooped into the luny-bin, you simply explain that, when you said you were a teapot, it was just your Artistic Temperament, and they apologize and go away. So I stood by to hear just how the A.T. had affected Clarence, the Cat's Friend, ready for anything.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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0602a69
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Well, if he comes when I'm out, tell him to wait. And now, Jeeves, mes gants, mon chapeau, et le whangee de monsieur. I must be popping.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5577b4a
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I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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1fc93a2
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Jeeves," I said. "A rummy communication has arrived. From Mr. Glossop." "Indeed, sir?" "I will read it to you. Handed in at Upper Bleaching. Message runs as follows: When you come tomorrow, bring my football boots. Also, if humanly possible, Irish water-spaniel. Urgent. Regards. Tuppy. "What do you make of that, Jeeves?" "As I interpret the document, sir, Mr. Glossop wishes you, when you come tomorrow, to bring his football boots. Also, if ..
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humor
telegram
jeeves-and-wooster
jeeves
football
message
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b42d15a
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She was definitely the sort of girl who puts her hands over a husband's eyes, as he is crawling in to breakfast with a morning head, and says: 'Guess who!
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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b6316a3
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Once more he became silent, staring before him with sombre eyes. Following his gaze, I saw that he was looking at an enlarged photograph of my Uncle Tom in some sort of Masonic uniform which stood on the mantlepiece. I've tried to reason with Aunt Dahlia about this photograph for years, placing before her two alternative suggestions: (a) To burn the beastly thing; or (b) if she must preserve it, to shove me in another room when I come to st..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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5c4503b
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Remember what the poet Shakespeare said, Jeeves? 'Exit hurriedly, pursued by a bear.' You'll find it in one of his plays.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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bf95e38
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Science, with a thousand triumphs to her credit, has not yet succeeded in discovering the correct reply for a young man to make who finds himself in the appalling position of being apologized to by a pretty girl.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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858f3ce
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There is a fog, sir. If you will recollect, we are now in Autumn - season of mists and mellow fruitfulness.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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ff0d66b
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Reflect, old man! We have been pals for years. Your mother likes me." "No, she doesn't." "Well, anyway, we were at school together and you owe me a tenner." "Oh, well," he said in a resigned sort of voice."
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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670d0af
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Mike's statement that he wanted to get up early and have a ride had been received by Psmith, with whom early rising was not a hobby, with honest amazement and a flood of advice and warning on the subject. "One of the Georges," said Psmith, "I forget which, once said that a certain number of hours' sleep a day--I cannot recall for the moment how many--made a man something, which for the time being has slipped my memory. However, there you ar..
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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e504c3b
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Don't they put aunts in Turkey in sacks and drop them in the Bosphorus?' 'Odalisques, sir, I understand. Not aunts.
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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917a370
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This is the age of the specialist, and years ago Rollo had settled on his career. Even as a boy, hardly capable of connected thought, he had been convinced that his speciality, the one thing he could do really well, was to inherit money.
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the-feudal-spirit
the-peter-principle
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P.G. Wodehouse |
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da6a937
|
She had turned away and was watching a duck out on the lake. It was tucking into weeds, a thing I've never been able to understand anyone wanting to do. Though I suppose, if you face it squarely, they're no worse than spinach.
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P.G. Wodehouse |