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eed63d9
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Indeed, the capacity to tolerate uncertainty is a prerequisite for the profession. Though the public may believe that therapists guide patients systematically and sure-handedly through predictable stages of therapy to a foreknown goal, such is rarely the case: instead, as these stories bear witness, therapists frequently wobble, improvise, and grope for direction. The powerful temptation to achieve certainty through embracing an ideological..
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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cf64847
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Whether I will live a long time or a short time, I'm alive now, at this moment. What I want is to know that there are other things to hope for besides length of life. What I want to know is that it isn't necessary to turn away from thoughts of suffering or death but neither is it necessary to give these thoughts too much time and space. What I want is to be intimate with the knowledge that life is temporary. And then, in the light (or shado..
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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3d1ecb0
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To the extent that one is responsible for one's life, one is alone.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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e297f06
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If I'm among men who don't agree at all with my nature, I will hardly be able to accommodate myself to them without greatly changing myself. A free man who lives among the ignorant strives as far as he can to avoid their favors. A free man acts honestly, not deceptively. Only free man are genuinely useful to one another and can form true friendships. And it's absolutely permissible, by the highest right of Nature, for everyone to employ cle..
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irvin-yalom
spinoza
true-self
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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9f5b889
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One of the great paradoxes of life is that self-awareness breeds anxiety.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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5e640ca
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As long as he denies his own agency, real change is unlikely because his attention will be directed toward changing his environment rather than himself.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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13d58f6
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Some cannot loosen their own chains and can nonetheless redeem their friends. You must be ready to burn yourself in your own flame: how could you become new, if you had not first become ashes? --Thus Spake Zarathustra
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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ee2483b
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If we look at life in its small details, how ridiculous it all seems. It is like a drop of water seen through a microscope, a single drop teeming with protozoa. How we laugh as they bustle about so eagerly and struggle with one another. Whether here, or in the little span of human life, this terrible activity produces a comic effect
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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19f234d
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More in love with desire than with the desired!
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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6e6c5de
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A person of high, rare mental gifts who is forced into a job which is merely useful is like a valuable vase decorated with the most beautiful painting and then used as a kitchen pot.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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505e564
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Some people are wish-blocked, knowing neither what they feel nor what they want. Without opinions, without impulses, without inclinations, they become parasites on the desires of others.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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3c66e4f
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People who feel empty never heal by merging with another incomplete person. On the contrary, two broken-winged birds coupled into one make for clumsy flight. No amount of patience will help it fly; and, ultimately, each must be pried from the other, and wounds separately splinted. The
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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707fd2f
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He who would be everything cannot be anything.")"
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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762367f
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The creative members of an orthodoxy, any orthodoxy, ultimately outgrow their disciplines.
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orthodoxy
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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bacc260
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The human being either asserts autonomy by heroic self-assertion or seeks safety through fusing with a superior force: that is, one either emerges or merges, separates or embeds. One becomes one's own parent or remains the eternal child.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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b1bb3d1
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He had learned long ago that, in general, the easier it was for anxious patients to reach him, the less likely they were to call. (107)
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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70ff943
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I often feel caught in a dilemma: on the one hand I wish to be more natural with you and yet, on the other hand, because I feel that you're easily wounded and that you give my comments inordinate power, I feel I must consider my wording very, very carefully.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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2d10ec5
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We should treat with indulgence every human folly, failing, and vice, bearing in mind that what we have before us are simply our own failings, follies, and vices. For they are just the failings of mankind to which we also belong and accordingly we have all the same failings buried within ourselves. We should not be indignant with others for these vices simply because they do not appear in us at the moment.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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97fde74
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It has often been noted that three major revolutions in thought have threatened the idea of human centrality. First, Copernicus demonstrated that Earth was not the center about which all celestial bodies revolved. Next, Darwin showed us that we were not central in the chain of life but, like all other creatures, had evolved from other life-forms. Third, Freud demonstrated that we are not masters in our own house-that much of our behavior is..
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science
philosophy
copernic
schopenhauer
charles-darwin
sigmund-freud
freud
darwin
copernicus
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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855dbb4
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Marriage should be no prison, but a garden in which something higher is cultivated.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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256cda9
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The establishment of an authentic relationship with patients, by its very nature, demands that we forego the power of the triumvirate of magic, mystery, and authority.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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e719d95
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come to believe that the fear of death is always greatest in those who feel that they have not lived their life fully. A good working formula is: the more unlived life, or unrealized potential, the greater one's death anxiety.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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712fa7c
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If you make a mistake, admit it. Any attempt at cover-up will ultimately backfire. At some level the patient will sense you are acting in bad faith, and therapy will suffer. Furthermore, an open admission of error is good model-setting for patients and another sign that they matter to you.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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6792fb3
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Look out the other's window. Try to see the world as your patient sees it.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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09e8c65
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As Nietzsche said, "If we have our own 'why' of life, we shall get along with any 'how."
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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014d4e1
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Why, you may ask, take on this unpleasant, frightening subject? Why stare into the sun? Why not follow the advice of the venerable dean of American psychiatry, Adolph Meyer, who, a century ago, cautioned psychiatrists, 'Don't scratch where it doesn't itch'? Why grapple with the most terrible, the darkest and most unchangeable aspect of life? ... Death, however, DOES itch. It itches all the time; it is always with us, scratching at some inne..
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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39dfa6a
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A cosmic perspective always attenuates tragedy. If we climb high enough, we will reach a height from which tragedy ceases to look tragic.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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c8b6c0f
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Again, Nietzsche thumbed through his notes, and then read, " 'One must have chaos and frenzy within oneself to give birth to a dancing star."
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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d5901f7
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The thoughts haunted him. He hated them: they robbed him of his peace; they were alien, neither possible nor desirable. Still, he welcomed them: the only alternative- banishing Bertha from his mind-seemed inconceivable.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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e3b367a
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Sometimes I simply remind patients that sooner or later they will have to relinquish the goal of having a better past.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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bcf031f
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reading these books. Oh, the endless labor of the intellectual--pouring all this knowledge into the brain through a three-millimeter aperture in the iris.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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7c2b05f
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Abraham Lincoln is reputed to have said that if he had eight hours to cut down a tree, he'd spend several of these hours sharpening his ax.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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be6e0d3
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Each time a goal is attained, it merely breeds additional needs. Thus more scurrying, more seeking, ad infinitum.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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676d54c
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As a general rule, the less one's sense of life fulfillment, the greater one's death anxiety.
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life
fulfillment
general
sense
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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a01da16
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Nietzsche's message to us was to live life in such a way that we would be willing to repeat the same life eternally.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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02e1ded
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Parolo pou e pseudaisthese sukhna anapteronei kai anakouphizei, sto telos panta adunatizei kai periorizei ten psukhe.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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cf760d1
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It's no great mystery. If no one will listen, it's only natural to shout!
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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41dbdc5
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The path to decision may be hard because it leads into the territory of both finiteness and groundlessness--domains soaked in anxiety.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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0723343
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every single person in the world is fundamentally alone. It's hard, but that's the way it is, and we have to face it.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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f636985
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Translation error is compounded by bias error. We distort others by forcing into them our preferred ideas and gestalts, a process Proust beautifully describes: We pack the physical outline of the creature we see with all the ideas we already formed about him, and in the complete picture of him which we compose in our minds, these ideas have certainly the principal place. In the end they come to fill out so completely the curve of his cheeks..
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metaphor
psychology-analysis
translation-error
proust
psychology
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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cbd22eb
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We should cherish things because they are true, not because they are old.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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cec4c22
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if we hope for more significant therapeutic change, we must encourage our patients to assume responsibility--that is, to apprehend how they themselves contribute to their distress.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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9842cac
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Insanlar vedalasirken genellikle olayin surekliligini inkar eden sozler dile getirmeyi severler. Birbirlerinden ayrilirken 'Auf Wiedersehen', yani tekrar gorusene kadar, derler. Yeni bir araya gelme planlari yapmakta cok aceleci davranirlar, ama bunu unutmakta daha acelecidirler. Ben bu tur insanlardan degilim. Gercegi soylemeyi tercih ederim ki gercek de buyuk bir ihtimalle bir daha karsilasmayacak oldugumuzdur.
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Irvin D. Yalom |
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49375e2
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All of us are creatures of a day; the rememberer and the remembered alike. All is ephemeral--both memory and the object of memory. The time is at hand when you will have forgotten everything; and the time is at hand when all will have forgotten you. Always reflect that soon you will be no one, and nowhere.
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Irvin D. Yalom |