giovanni-s-room

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
5aace8c	Giovanni had awakened an itch, had released a gnaw in me. I realized it one afternoon, when I was taking him to work via the Boulevard Montparnasse. We had bought a kilo of cherries and we were eating them as we walked along. We were both insufferably childish and high-spirited that afternoon and the spectacle we presented, two grown men jostling each other on the wide sidewalk and aiming the cherry pits, as though they were spitballs, into each other's faces, must have been outrageous. And I realized that such childishness was fantastic at my age and the happiness out of which it sprang yet more so; for that moment I really loved Giovanni, who had never seemed more beautiful than he was that afternoon.	bisexuality giovanni-s-room homosexuality love lovers playfulness	James Baldwin
7c7e007	But I felt that it was my heart which was broken. Something had broken in me to make me so cold and so perfectly still and far away.	cold detached dissociation distant giovanni-s-room heartbroken james-baldwin	James Baldwin
8caf5de	I had to get out of there for my face showed too much, the war in my body was dragging me down. My feet refused to carry me over to him again. The wind of my life was blowing me away.	giovanni-s-room goodbye inner-turmoil james-baldwin leave-taking life sad separation	James Baldwin
800a860	"Maybe everything bad that happens to you makes you weaker," said Giovanni, as though he had not heard me, "and so you can stand less and less."	giovanni-s-room james-baldwin life weakened weaker	James Baldwin
36690c0	"He smiled, "Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: One day I will go home." He played with my thumb and grinned. " ?" "Beautiful logic," I said. "You mean I have a home to go to as long as I don't go there?" He laughed. "Well, isn't it true? You don't have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back."	giovanni-s-room home james-baldwin paradox	James Baldwin
69f91a6	The morning weighs on my shoulders with the dreadful weight of hope and I take the blue envelope which Jacques has sent me and tear it slowly into many pieces, watching them dance in the wind, watching the wind carry them away. Yet, as I turn and begin walking toward the waiting people, the wind blows some of them back on me.	giovanni-s-room hope james-baldwin last-lines sad symbolism	James Baldwin
8b00033	No matter how it seems now, I must confess: I loved him. I do not think that I will ever love anyone like that again. And this might be a great relief if I did not also know that, when the knife has fallen, Giovanni, if he feels anything will feel relief.	declaration-of-love giovanni-s-room james-baldwin love never-again one-and-only one-true-love relief sad	James Baldwin
8c9bac6	I stared at absurd Paris, which was as cluttered now, under the scalding sun, as the landscape of my heart.	giovanni-s-room heart james-baldwin paris	James Baldwin
44ce3d2	"I do not know what I would do if you left me." For the first time I felt the suggestion of a threat in his voice--or I put it there. "I have been alone so long--I do not think I would be able to live if I had to be alone again."	giovanni-s-room james-baldwin relationship romantic-relationship suicidal threat	James Baldwin
a42abda	I loved her as much as ever and I still did not know how much that was.	confused giovanni-s-room james-baldwin love relationship romantic-relationship uncertain	James Baldwin
16af428	The Americans have no sense of doom, none whatever. They do not recognize doom when they see it.	americans blind cultural doom giovanni-s-room james-baldwin	James Baldwin
94cd7d9	To begin with, the room was not large enough for two. It looked out on a small courtyard. 'Looked out' means only that the room had two windows, against which the courtyard malevolently pressed, encroaching day by day, as though it had confused itself with a jungle.	giovanni-s-room humor james-baldwin	James Baldwin
ca29477	But she saw nothing in my eyes--she stared at me as though I had made a long journey on a white charger all the way to her prison house.	giovanni-s-room james-baldwin knight-in-shining-armor miscommunication romantic-relationship simile	James Baldwin
85a966b	"One of these days," he said. "Everything bad will happen--one of these days."	bad giovanni-s-room james-baldwin ominous pessimistic portent	James Baldwin

5aace8c

Giovanni had awakened an itch, had released a gnaw in me. I realized it one afternoon, when I was taking him to work via the Boulevard Montparnasse. We had bought a kilo of cherries and we were eating them as we walked along. We were both insufferably childish and high-spirited that afternoon and the spectacle we presented, two grown men jostling each other on the wide sidewalk and aiming the cherry pits, as though they were spitballs, into each other's faces, must have been outrageous. And I realized that such childishness was fantastic at my age and the happiness out of which it sprang yet more so; for that moment I really loved Giovanni, who had never seemed more beautiful than he was that afternoon.

bisexuality giovanni-s-room homosexuality love lovers playfulness

James Baldwin

7c7e007

But I felt that it was my heart which was broken. Something had broken in me to make me so cold and so perfectly still and far away.

cold detached dissociation distant giovanni-s-room heartbroken james-baldwin

James Baldwin

8caf5de

I had to get out of there for my face showed too much, the war in my body was dragging me down. My feet refused to carry me over to him again. The wind of my life was blowing me away.

giovanni-s-room goodbye inner-turmoil james-baldwin leave-taking life sad separation

James Baldwin

800a860

"Maybe everything bad that happens to you makes you weaker," said Giovanni, as though he had not heard me, "and so you can stand less and less."

giovanni-s-room james-baldwin life weakened weaker

James Baldwin

36690c0

"He smiled, "Why, you will go home and then you will find that home is not home anymore. Then you will really be in trouble. As long as you stay here, you can always think: One day I will go home." He played with my thumb and grinned. " ?" "Beautiful logic," I said. "You mean I have a home to go to as long as I don't go there?" He laughed. "Well, isn't it true? You don't have a home until you leave it and then, when you have left it, you never can go back."

giovanni-s-room home james-baldwin paradox

James Baldwin

69f91a6

The morning weighs on my shoulders with the dreadful weight of hope and I take the blue envelope which Jacques has sent me and tear it slowly into many pieces, watching them dance in the wind, watching the wind carry them away. Yet, as I turn and begin walking toward the waiting people, the wind blows some of them back on me.

giovanni-s-room hope james-baldwin last-lines sad symbolism

James Baldwin

8b00033

No matter how it seems now, I must confess: I loved him. I do not think that I will ever love anyone like that again. And this might be a great relief if I did not also know that, when the knife has fallen, Giovanni, if he feels anything will feel relief.

declaration-of-love giovanni-s-room james-baldwin love never-again one-and-only one-true-love relief sad

James Baldwin

8c9bac6

I stared at absurd Paris, which was as cluttered now, under the scalding sun, as the landscape of my heart.

giovanni-s-room heart james-baldwin paris

James Baldwin

44ce3d2

"I do not know what I would do if you left me." For the first time I felt the suggestion of a threat in his voice--or I put it there. "I have been alone so long--I do not think I would be able to live if I had to be alone again."

giovanni-s-room james-baldwin relationship romantic-relationship suicidal threat

James Baldwin

a42abda

I loved her as much as ever and I still did not know how much that was.

confused giovanni-s-room james-baldwin love relationship romantic-relationship uncertain

James Baldwin

16af428

The Americans have no sense of doom, none whatever. They do not recognize doom when they see it.

americans blind cultural doom giovanni-s-room james-baldwin

James Baldwin

94cd7d9

To begin with, the room was not large enough for two. It looked out on a small courtyard. 'Looked out' means only that the room had two windows, against which the courtyard malevolently pressed, encroaching day by day, as though it had confused itself with a jungle.

giovanni-s-room humor james-baldwin

James Baldwin

ca29477

But she saw nothing in my eyes--she stared at me as though I had made a long journey on a white charger all the way to her prison house.

giovanni-s-room james-baldwin knight-in-shining-armor miscommunication romantic-relationship simile

James Baldwin

85a966b

"One of these days," he said. "Everything bad will happen--one of these days."

bad giovanni-s-room james-baldwin ominous pessimistic portent

James Baldwin