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9f189a6
|
Indeed, she often wondered if she were dead, or dying from the inside out, and that was the root of her calm, the reason she could surrender her character.
|
|
resolve
character
death
dissociation
|
Gregory Maguire |
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eafc7bc
|
She was a stranger in her own life, a tourist in her own body.
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|
disconnected
dissociation
the-van-alen-legacy
|
Melissa de la Cruz |
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8bfdb26
|
How can I put this? There's a king of gap between what I think is real and what's really real. I get this feeling like some kind of little something-or-other is there, somewhere inside me... like a burglar is in the house, hiding in a wardrobe... and it comes out every once in a while and messes up whatever order or logic I've established for myself. The way a magnet can make a machine go crazy.
|
|
depression
borderline-personality-disorder
bpd
dissociation
dissociative-identity-disorder
|
Haruki Murakami |
|
aac8a24
|
I had a bizarre rapport with this mirror and spent a lot of time gazing into the glass to see who was there. Sometimes it looked like me. At other times, I could see someone similar but different in the reflection. A few times, I caught the switch in mid-stare, my expression re-forming like melting rubber, the creases and features of my face softening or hardening until the mutation was complete. Jekyll to Hyde, or Hyde to Jekyll. I felt my inner core change at the same time. I would feel more confident or less confident; mature or childlike; freezing cold or sticky hot, a state that would drive Mum mad as I escaped to the bathroom where I would remain for two hours scrubbing my skin until it was raw. The change was triggered by different emotions: on hearing a particular piece of music; the sight of my father, the smell of his brand of aftershave. I would pick up a book with the certainty that I had not read it before and hear the words as I read them like an echo inside my head. Like Alice in the Lewis Carroll story, I slipped into the depths of the looking glass and couldn't be sure if it was me standing there or an impostor, a lookalike. I felt fully awake most of the time, but sometimes while I was awake it felt as if I were dreaming. In this dream state I didn't feel like me, the real me. I felt numb. My fingers prickled. My eyes in the mirror's reflection were glazed like the eyes of a mannequin in a shop window, my colour, my shape, but without light or focus. These changes were described by Dr Purvis as mood swings and by Mother as floods, but I knew better. All teenagers are moody when it suits them. My Switches could take place when I was alone, transforming me from a bright sixteen-year-old doing her homework into a sobbing child curled on the bed staring at the wall. The weeping fit would pass and I would drag myself back to the mirror expecting to see a child version of myself. 'Who are you?' I'd ask. I could hear the words; it sounded like me but it wasn't me. I'd watch my lips moving and say it again, 'Who are you?
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|
emotion
identity
change
amnesia
dissociated-state
emotionals
identity-alternation
identity-switch
lookalike
personality-switch
trigger
triggered
impostor
identity-confusion
dissociative
split-personality
identity-crisis
unreal
survivor
unreality
dream-like
dissociation
dreaming
child
mirror
memory-loss
incest
sexual-abuse
dissociative-identity-disorder
multiple-personality-disorder
trauma
mental-health
|
Alice Jamieson |
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f8c5403
|
Sometimes she was even sure that she had ever really existed.
|
|
disconnect
dissociation
the-van-alen-legacy
|
Melissa de la Cruz |
|
7c7e007
|
But I felt that it was my heart which was broken. Something had broken in me to make me so cold and so perfectly still and far away.
|
|
distant
giovanni-s-room
james-baldwin
heartbroken
detached
dissociation
cold
|
James Baldwin |
|
2ddf6e0
|
"According to Melanie Klein, we develop moral responses in reaction to questions of survivability. My wager is that Klein is right about that, even as she thwarts her own insight by insisting that it is the ego's survivability that is finally at issue. Why the ego? After all, if my survivability depends on a relation to others, to a "you" or a set of "yous" without whom I cannot exist, then my existence is not mine alone, but is to be found outside myself, in this set of relations that precede and exceed the boundaries of who I am. If I have a boundary at all, or if a boundary can be said to belong to me, it is only because I have become separated from others, and it is only on condition of this separation that I can relate to them at all. So the boundary is a function of the relation, a brokering of difference, a negotiation in which I am bound to you in my separateness. If I seek to preserve your life, it is not only because I seek to preserve my own, but because who "I" am is nothing without your life, and life itself has to be rethought as this complex, passionate, antagonistic, and necessary set of relations to others. I may lose this "you" and any number of particular others, and I may well survive those losses. But that can happen only if I do not lose the possibility of any "you" at all. If I survive, it is only because my life is nothing without the life that exceeds me, that refers to some indexical you, without whom I cannot be."
|
|
grief
loss
klein
morality
life
otherness
butler
seperation
boundaries
self-preservation
dissociation
survival
|
Judith Butler |
|
821e3a3
|
When experiences or emotions become too overwhlming, the mind clevely encapsulates the material and stores it for safe-keeping. Many people respond this way in the face of trauma, but the additional step that occurs in this process, in the case of DID, is the formation of distinct ego states that carry the experience.
|
|
coping
compartmentalization
dissociative-parts
memory-fragmentation
dissociative
multiple-personalities
dissociation
ptsd
traumatic-experiences
traumatized
dissociative-identity-disorder
trauma
|
Deborah Bray Haddock |
|
d22274c
|
He felt himself falling into a state, very common when he was younger, of being totally cut off from the society he was in.
|
|
the-message-to-the-planet
iris-murdoch
social-anxiety
dissociation
outsider
|
Iris Murdoch |
|
7a4b017
|
I tried deep breathing, but seemed to lose contact with myself between each breath, so that the next one was always an emergency. I began to feel faint.
|
|
humor
deep-breathing
panic-attack
the-black-prince
iris-murdoch
dissociation
|
Iris Murdoch |
|
26b4635
|
I sometimes continue to see myself in split ways; it causes me trouble and contributes to a lack of satisfaction with myself.
|
|
sexual-abuse-survivor
splitting-off
healing-from-abuse
psyche
integration
dissociation
wholeness
|
Maureen Brady |
|
519f7cc
|
When I was a kid I used to wonder if, just maybe, the world existed only for me. If rooms ceased to exist when I stepped into the hallway and people disappeared once they left me, the rest of their lives imagined solely for my entertainment.
|
|
dissociation
|
Robin Wasserman |