b0ebe80
|
"You're right, my problems are the biggest problems ever," George said. "No, honestly, it's horrible to be me. I'm rich, talented, and I make girls cry." "How do you make girls cry, exactly?" George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forward, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, "My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence." --
|
|
funny
fate-s-edge
ilona-andrews
the-edge
george
|
Ilona Andrews |
783f127
|
"You call that evening the odds? You demolished them." Demolished. He liked that. "I left you one." "I noticed." "I promised to share," he told her. "Manners are very important in the Weird. Lying would be quite impolite."
|
|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
odds
|
Ilona Andrews |
de9d4e7
|
"How is it different?" He rolled his head back, sable hair falling down on his shoulders. "With Rose I knew what to say. I could take a step back and talk to her. I remembered all the crap from the magaznies. It was easy." "And with me, it's hard?" Why? Because she was a swamp girl? And how did the magazines fit into it? William looked away from her. "I don't like it when you're away. If I don't see you, I can't settle down. If I see you talking with another man, I want to claw his throat out. And none of the things you're supposed to say fit." Oh, this had to be good. "What sort of things?" He sighed. "The lines. Like, 'You're my everything,' or 'Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
|
|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
pick-up-lines
william
rose
|
Ilona Andrews |
23b0767
|
"It could be worse," he said finally. "Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I suppose, a psychopathic spree killer isn't that odd of a choice, considering."
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|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
bc425d5
|
"Doode," George said. He'd practiced all morning but still didn't get it quite right. "Nope, more , less . Duuude." "Dude." "Dude." "Okay, dude." George nodded. "How's it hanging?" Jack asked. "How am I supposed to answer that?" George looked at him. "I don't think Kaldar said anything about that. I guess 'good'? I don't get it. What's hanging anyway?" George shook his head. "Your stuff, you nimwit." His stuff... "In that case, it's hanging long!" Jack dissolved in giggles. "Long, get it?"
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|
funny
perverted
fate-s-edge
ilona-andrews
the-edge
hanging
george
jack
|
Ilona Andrews |
bb51035
|
"Oh, Gods." His eyes shone with want and predatory satisfaction. "The name's William. It's a common mistake."
|
|
bayou-moon
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
90ba376
|
Some women waited for a night in shining armor. She, apparently, had ended up with a knight in black jeans and leather, who wanted to chase her down and have his evil way with her.
|
|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
a4ccdb0
|
Ask a man how much a dollar is worth, and he'll tell you, 'Almost nothing.' Try to take a dollar away from him, and you'll get yourself a fight.
|
|
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
8a1e082
|
"At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?" "No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God!"
|
|
funny
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
5ecc045
|
Stealers, keepers.
|
|
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
stealing
|
Ilona Andrews |
6aac37e
|
"Did I hurt you in the parking lot?" "No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car." Great."
|
|
funny
fate-s-edge
ilona-andrews
the-edge
george
|
Ilona Andrews |
948fd4e
|
"You said he was a soldier. You don't suppose...?" "Oh, Gods." Ignata blinked. "You think something could be wrong down there?" All of them looked at William, who chose this precise moment to slide the wet shirt back on his back, which required him to flex, raising his arms. "That would be a shame," Cerise murmured."
|
|
ignata
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
9cf089e
|
"It depends. If I don't let you in, will you huff and puff and blow my house down?" She had no idea. "I'm more of a kick the door open and cut everyone inside to ribbons kind of wolf."
|
|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
wolf
|
Ilona Andrews |
1195f07
|
Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything.
|
|
funny
fate-s-edge
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
violent
|
Ilona Andrews |
87ccb7c
|
"The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it, but I didn't. I just gave him some drugs." "You gave an addict in rehab drugs, and you want credit for it?" "Of course it sounds bad when you put it that way."
|
|
funny
audrey
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
2633f68
|
He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her.
|
|
funny
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
hair
|
Ilona Andrews |
0a47e09
|
Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway.
|
|
ilona-andrews
the-edge
failure
|
Ilona Andrews |
df20f6e
|
"I need you to get down there, open the stalls inside, and panic the horses." " 'Panic'?" Gaston asked. "Smile at them or something."
|
|
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
38af23b
|
"You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could resist." She snarled. Heh."
|
|
spaghetti-queen
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
1e15d58
|
"This doesn't mean you're getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!" Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not."
|
|
funny
fate-s-edge
ilona-andrews
the-edge
gnome
|
Ilona Andrews |
a5fa322
|
"Oh, I don't know. I might grow on you." She furrowed her pretty eyebrows. "Like a cancer?" "Like a favorite vice."
|
|
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
e4cbbe1
|
"Audrey turned to him, a sly little spark hiding in her eyes. "THe only man who gets to call me'love' would be waking up next to me after a very, very fun night. "Guess what?" She leaned closer. "You will never be that man."
|
|
fun
funny
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
118695a
|
Life was too short and ended too suddenly. If you didn't take advantage of what you had today, tomorrow it might be ripped from you.
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|
life
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
eee48ed
|
"I realized that I'm a child." William looked point-blank at her chest. "No."
|
|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
child
|
Ilona Andrews |
b69f07b
|
"And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot." She raised her hand. "Don't." "It was awesome," George confirmed. "It really was," Jack said. "His head exploded."
|
|
funny
ilona-andrew
fate-s-edge
kaldar
the-edge
shot
george
jack
|
Ilona Andrews |
777957c
|
Slowly the reality of the situation sank in. He got his ass kicked, learned nothing, and got saved by a dumb dog and an old lady. If he lived long enough to report to Nancy back in Adrianglia, he would have to gloss over this part.
|
|
bayou-moon
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
855cc19
|
When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you head high [...]
|
|
fate-s-edge
ilona-andrews
the-edge
pride
dragon
|
Ilona Andrews |
942d829
|
"She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?" He showed her his teeth. "Yes."
|
|
death
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
2a94fbf
|
"Behind him Kaldar nudged Urow's youngest son. "Bet you he lasts at least thirty seconds." "Um..." Gaston looked at him. "No he won't." "Bet me something." "I don't have anything." Kaldar grimaced. "Pick up that rock." Gaston swiped the rock off the ground. "Now you have a rock. I bet this five bucks against your rock." Gaston grinned. "Deal."
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|
gaston
betting
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
fa8a32d
|
"That's all right," she told him. "I can manage. I can sleep outside just fine." Four pairs of eyes looked at her with a distinctly male skepticism."
|
|
funny
gaston
male-skepticism
fate-s-edge
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
george
jack
|
Ilona Andrews |
8df7fc5
|
Breaking into the house in the middle of the night just wasn't his style. He did his best work in plain view, and, usually, his tongue was doing most of it. Now that was an interesting thought.
|
|
funny
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
tongue
|
Ilona Andrews |
571ba16
|
"Kaldar smiled at her. Now there was a work of art. If she were just a girl and he were just a man, and they met at a party, that smile would've guaranteed him a date. The man was hot. There was no doubt. But right now, all it would get him was a solid punch in those even teeth. Audrey laughed. "Aren't you sweet? Tell me, do girls usually throw their panties at you when you do that?" He grinned wider, and she glimpsed the funny evil spark in his eyes. "Do men throw money when you do your little Southern belle?"
|
|
fate-s-edge
southern-belle
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
11ddd53
|
"A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers." "Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?" "No." "She doesn't like poetry?" "Leave it." Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes--"
|
|
funny
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
8f7382b
|
"She put her hand on her hip. "Where are you going?" "To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool." Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him."
|
|
funny
lord-bill
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
5b01f89
|
"He hit her with his best smile. Her eyes widened. She took a deep breath. "Oh no, not that seductive face. I'm overcome with the need to take off these awful clothes. What is happening? I do not understand. Oooh. Ahhh." She touched her wrist to her forehead. "Somebody help me. I'm being drenched with my own fluids." "
|
|
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
5454995
|
"Kaldar picked up a rock and tossed it into the clearing. It landed between two wards. A green stem shot out of the ground, and a hail of needle-thin thorns peppered the soil, striking sparks off the rock. "You got any money on you?" "No." Kaldar grimaced. "What do you have?" William made a mental inventory of some twenty-odd items he'd pulled out of the Mirror's bag of tricks and hid in his clothes this morning. Not much he could part with. "A knife," he said. "Fine. I'll bet my knife against your knife that I can walk through there unharmed."
|
|
betting
kaldar
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
1dabb3b
|
"An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers."
|
|
funny
kaldar
raccoon
ilona-andrews
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
bf0fc54
|
William's eyes glowed like two amber coals. She met his gaze and flinched. No emotion reflected in the amber, only intelligence, cruel in a way the eyes of a hunting Mire cat were cruel. She saw no worry, no softness, no thoughts at all, only waiting. He seemed barely human now, not a man but some feral thing, knitted of darkness and biding his time for an opportunity to pounce.
|
|
cerise
ilona-andrews
the-edge
william
|
Ilona Andrews |
bc11b6f
|
"His stuff . . .
|
|
the-edge
|
Ilona Andrews |
616c0ef
|
"We crossed the street and turned left into one of the side streets, which was only slightly less wide. Here the traffic was lighter. To the left and slightly in front of us, two men walked shoulder to shoulder. The first wore leather pants, a white shirt with wide sleeves, and a leather vest over it. A wide leather bracer enclosed his left forearm. His hair, a rare blond shade, almost gold, hung in a ponytail down his back. He moved with a casual aristocratic elegance, perfectly balanced. Watching him, you had a feeling that if the road suddenly became a tightrope, he would just keep on walking without breaking a stride. My father moved like that. I sped up a little. We drew even and I saw a slender sword on his waist. That's what I thought. An expert swordsman. I glanced at his face and blinked. He was remarkably handsome. The man to his left was larger, his shoulders broader, his body emanating contained aggression. He didn't walk, he stalked, and you could tell by the way he moved that he would be very strong. His auburn hair looked like he'd rolled out of bed, dragged his hand through it, and gone on about his day. He wore dark pants and a black leather jacket that was more doublet than motorcycle. A ragged scar crossed his left cheek and when he turned his head, his eyes shone with yellow. Interesting. "It's always work with you," the russet-haired man said. "Some of us have to mind the safety of the realm," the blond said. A narrow smile curled his lips. "I've given the realm eight years of my life. It can bite me," his stocky companion retorted. "How far is it?" The slim man raised his left arm. A hawk dropped out of the sky and landed on his bracer. "We're almost there. Two blocks left." "Good. Let's get this crap and go home." They turned into the side street. "That bird smelled dead," Sean said."
|
|
jack-camarine
the-edge
the-edge-tie-in
|
Ilona Andrews |