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4be05c7
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The belief that unhappiness is selfless and happiness is selfish is misguided. It's more selfless to act happy. It takes energy, generosity, and discipline to be unfailingly lighthearted, yet everyone takes the happy person for granted. No one is careful of his feelings or tries to keep his spirits high. He seems self-sufficient; he becomes a cushion for others. And because happiness seems unforced, that person usually gets no credit.
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happiness
giving
selflessness
selfishness
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Gretchen Rubin |
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602e5c2
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According to current research, in the determination of a person's level of happiness, genetics accounts for about 50 percent; life circumstances, such as age, gender, ethnicity, marital status, income, health, occupation, and religious affiliation, account for about 10 to 20 percent; and the remainder is a product of how a person thinks and acts.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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69c6f51
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I think adversity magnifies behavior. Tend to be a control freak? You'll become more controlling. Eat for comfort? You'll eat more. And on the positive, if you tend to focus on solutions and celebrate small successes, that's what you'll do in adversity.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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1961433
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It's so easy to wish that we'd made an effort in the past, so that we'd happily be enjoying the benefit now, but when now is the time when that effort must be made, as it always is, that prospect is much less inviting.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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29ba9b1
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What's fun for other people may not be fun for you- and vice versa.
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personality
happiness
preferences
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Gretchen Rubin |
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e7c1195
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In the chaos of everyday life, it's easy to lose sight of what really matters, and I can use my habits to make sure that my life reflects my values.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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b33ba6b
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We won't make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other people's habits, even the habits of geniuses; we must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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3300974
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How we schedule our days is how we spend our lives.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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ebaa5ea
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you have to do that kind of work for yourself. If you do it for other people, you end up wanting them to acknowledge it and to be grateful and to give you credit. If you do it for yourself, you don't expect other people to react in a particular way.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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24d5ab3
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Enthusiasm is a form of social courage.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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79ba1d1
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Studies show that each common interest between people boosts the chances of a lasting relationship and also brings about a 2 percent increase in life satisfaction.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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42c5285
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I realized that for my own part, I was much more likely to take risks, reach out to others, and expose myself to rejection and failure when I felt happy. When I felt unhappy, I felt defensive, touchy, and self-conscious.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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I should pursue only those habits that would make me feel freer and stronger.
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habits
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Gretchen Rubin |
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f7ee7cb
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There's a great satisfaction in knowing that we've made good use of our days, that we've lived up to our expectations of ourselves.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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ee2617f
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I had everything I could possibly want -- yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature, I too often failed to comprehend the splendor of what I had.
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happiness
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Gretchen Rubin |
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5d7f762
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Because money permits a constant stream of luxuries and indulgences, it can take away their savor, and by permitting instant gratification, money shortcuts the happiness of anticipation. Scrimping, saving, imagining, planning, hoping--these stages enlarge the happiness we feel.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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15cbf14
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It isn't enough to love; we must prove it.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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b63967a
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Use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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45a78e9
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For work: I bought some pens. Normally, I used makeshift pens, the kind of unsatisfactory implements that somehow materialized in my bag or in a drawer. But one day, when I was standing in line to buy envelopes, I caught sight of a box of my favorite kind of pen: the Deluxe Uniball Micro. "Two ninety-nine for one pen!" I thought. "That's ridiculous." But after a fairly lengthy internal debate, I bought four. It's such a joy to write with a ..
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Gretchen Rubin |
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6c593bd
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Life is too short to save your good china or your good lingerie or your good ANYTHING for later because truly, later may never come.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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2a83935
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The most important step is the first step. All those old sayings are really true. Well begun is half done. Don't get it perfect, get it going. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Nothing is more exhausting than the task that's never started, and strangely, starting is often far harder than continuing.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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3708004
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I should make one healthy choice, and then stop choosing.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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c629acf
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Of course it's not enough to sit around wanting to be happy; you must make the effort to take steps toward happiness by acting with more love, finding work you enjoy, and all the rest. But for me, asking myself whether I was happy had been a crucial step toward cultivating my happiness more wisely through my actions. Also, only through recognizing my happiness did I really appreciate it. Happiness depends partly on external circumstances, a..
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Gretchen Rubin |
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ad197b4
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While some more passive forms of leisure, such as watching TV or surfing the Internet, are fun in the short term, over time, they don't offer nearly the same happiness as more challenging activities.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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606f6f5
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There is a preppy wabi-sabi to soft, faded khakis and cotton shirts, but it's not nice to be surrounded by things that are worn out or stained or used up.
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happiness
plenty
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Gretchen Rubin |
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b969453
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However, if you want to know how people would like to be treated, it's more helpful to look at how they themselves act than what they say.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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ff4ddfe
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Research--and my own experience--suggests that the less we indulge in something, the less we want it. When we believe that a craving will remain unsatisfied, it may diminish; cravings are more provoked by possibility than by denial.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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0f26f59
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When it comes to fake food, I'm like Samuel Johnson, who remarked, "Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult." In other words, I can give something up altogether, but I can't indulge occasionally."
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Gretchen Rubin |
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ae42f6a
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There is no love; there are only proofs of love." Whatever love I might feel in my heart, others will see only my actions."
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Gretchen Rubin |
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367154d
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When we do stumble, it's important not to judge ourselves harshly. Although some people assume that strong feelings of guilt or shame act as safeguards to help people stick to good habits, the opposite is true. People who feel less guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while people who feel deeply guilty and full of self-blame struggle more.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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4336d2f
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I have an idea of who I wish I were, and that obscures my understanding of who I actually am. Sometimes I pretend even to myself to enjoy activities that I don't really enjoy, such as shopping, or to be interested in subjects that don't much interest me, such as foreign policy.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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e8f4116
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Although we presume that we act because of the way we feel, in fact we often feel because of the way we act.
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feelings
happiness
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Gretchen Rubin |
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fa2d62a
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I needed to change the lens through which I viewed everything familiar.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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961f4c7
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Volunteering to help others is the right thing to do, and it also boosts personal happiness; a review of research by the Corporation for National and Community Service shows that those who aid the causes they value tend to be happier and in better health. They show fewer signs of physical and mental aging. And it's not just that helpful people also tend to be healthier and happier; helping others causes happiness. "Be selfless, if only for ..
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volunteer
volunteering
volunteerism
health
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Gretchen Rubin |
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e4504e9
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Another study suggested that getting one extra hour of sleep each night would do more for a person's happiness than getting a $60,000 raise.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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1a0e4d3
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It's a Secret of Adulthood: I can't make people change, but when I change, others may change; and when others change, I may change.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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9a201b7
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As I turned the key and pushed open the front door, as I crossed the threshold, I thought how breathtaking, how fleeting, how precious was my ordinary day Now is now. Here is my treasure.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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5c20b66
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I'd always vaguely expected to outgrown my limitations.
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self-actualization
personal-growth
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Gretchen Rubin |
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610fd17
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I'm not tempted by things I've decided are off-limits, but once I've started something, I have trouble stopping. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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d954053
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I have an idea of who I wish I were, and that obscures my understanding of who I actually am.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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a777394
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Happy people generally are more forgiving, helpful, and charitable, have better self-control, and are more tolerant of frustration than unhappy people, while unhappy people are more often withdrawn, defensive, antagonistic, and self-absorbed. Oscar Wilde observed, "One is not always happy when one is good; but one is always good when one is happy."
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Gretchen Rubin |
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2c3fee2
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Both money and health contribute to happiness mostly in the negative; the lack of them brings much more unhappiness than possessing them brings happiness. p 169
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Gretchen Rubin |
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5889624
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With habits, we don't make decisions, we don't use self-control, we just do the thing we want ourselves to do--or that we don't want to do.
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Gretchen Rubin |
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5958dda
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six obvious ways to make an activity less convenient: * Increase the amount of physical or mental energy required (leave the cell phone in another room, ban smoking inside or near a building). * Hide any cues (put the video game controller on a high shelf). * Delay it (read email only after 11:00 a.m.). * Engage in an incompatible activity (to avoid snacking, do a puzzle). * Raise the cost (one study showed that people at high risk for..
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Gretchen Rubin |