|
8de2d30
|
Boredom can be important. That's when you have to figure out what you want to do.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
8d32c08
|
To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
582afeb
|
Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
e28afde
|
note: people weigh their highest on Sunday;14 their lowest, on Friday morning.)
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
5ba6191
|
We all must pay, but we can choose that for which we pay.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
b8ece6c
|
Although people sometimes assume that the happy are self-absorbed and complacent, just the opposite is true. In general, happiness doesn't make people want to drink daiquiris on the beach; it makes them want to help rural villagers gain better access to clean water.
|
|
happiness
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
cab2d5c
|
Of all the things that wisdom provides for living one's entire life in happiness, the greatest by far is the possession of friendship.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
3ca0501
|
It's easy to make the mistake of thinking that if you have something you love or there's something you want, you'll be happier with more.
|
|
money
happiness
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
fd8d1b6
|
There's no magic formula--not for ourselves, and not for the people around us. We won't make ourselves more creative and productive by copying other people's habits, even the habits of geniuses; we must know our own nature, and what habits serve us best.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
ecaca7a
|
When deciding what to buy, remember that some things are easy to buy--but then we have to them. If they're not used, they don't enhance our lives; they just contribute to guilt and clutter.
|
|
shopping
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
e6bfc3e
|
Instead of always worrying about being efficient, I wanted to spend time on exploration, experimentation, digression, and failed attempts that didn't always look productive.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
c1e1fb3
|
One of life's small pleasures is to return something to its proper place;
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
e02a1b9
|
Challenge: we find personal meaning in pursuing a goal that's difficult but not impossible. Curiosity: we're intrigued and find pleasure in learning more. Control: we like the feeling of mastery. Fantasy: we play a game; we use our imagination to make an activity more stimulating. Cooperation: we enjoy the satisfaction of working with others. Competition: we feel gratified when we can compare ourselves favorably to others. Recognition: we'r..
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
ec2b13e
|
By mindfully choosing our habits, we harness the power of mindlessness as a sweeping force for serenity, energy, and growth.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
79eae20
|
the real key to habits is decision making--or, more accurately, the lack of decision making
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
403536e
|
Second Splendid Truth One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to e happy yourself. p 147
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
8c7265f
|
As Samuel Johnson said, "To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy."
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
e6047d5
|
In many ways, the happiness of having children falls into the kind of happiness that could be called fog happiness. Fog is elusive. Fog surrounds you and transforms the atmosphere, but when you try to examine it, it vanishes. Fog happiness is the kind of happiness you get from activities that, closely examined, don't really seem to bring much happiness at all--yet somehow they do.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
98a7e2a
|
According to Aristotle, "Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence."
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
6c37cac
|
If something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
f6d3d74
|
Although some people assume that strong feelings of guilt or shame act as safeguards to help people stick to good habits, the opposite is true. People who feel less guilt and who show compassion toward themselves in the face of failure are better able to regain self-control, while people who feel deeply guilty and full of self-blame struggle more.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
01132a9
|
Also, accomplishing small tasks boosts our sense of "self-efficacy." The more we trust ourselves to follow through on our own commitments, the more likely we are to believe that we can keep an important habit."
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
2f3220c
|
the habit of bed making is correlated with a sense of greater well-being and higher productivity. Other common broken windows include having a messy car; accumulating piles of laundry or trash; not being able to find important items, like a passport or a phone charger; hanging on to stacks of newspapers, magazines, and catalogs; wearing pajamas or sweats all day; or not shaving or showering
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
35c75f4
|
Also, there was a Princeton study that found that visual clutter reduces your ability to focus and process information.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
52289d5
|
Keep a sense of humor. Over and over, I see that levity helps diffuse practically any difficult situation--which
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
73d21e3
|
But while it's true that helping other people makes us happier, and that people feel a distinct "helper's high," it's also true that when people are unhappy, they often find it tough to help others. If they did, they'd likely feel happier, but unhappy people often feel preoccupied with their own problems and don't have the emotional reserves to turn outward. By contrast, happy people volunteer more, give away more money, and naturally take ..
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
87f842e
|
The harder it is to do something, the harder it is to do it impulsively, so inconvenience helps us stick to good habits. There are six obvious ways to make an activity less convenient: Increase the amount of physical or mental energy required (leave the cell phone in another room, ban smoking inside or near a building). * Hide any cues (put the video game controller on a high shelf). * Delay it (read email only after 11:00 a.m.). * Engage i..
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
4ccbb13
|
From my observation, habits in four areas do most to boost feelings of self-control, and in this way strengthen the Foundation of all our habits. We do well to begin by tackling the habits that help us to: 1. sleep 2. move 3. eat and drink right 4. unclutter
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
a81c6f7
|
The conduct of our lives is the true reflection of our thoughts. --MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
cf1e7df
|
Use counters for activities, not for storage.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
397818d
|
See the child you have," as the saying goes, "not the child you wish you had." In the end, I agreed with Michel de Montaigne: "The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced."
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
fdf65ed
|
Research suggests that about 40 percent of our behavior is repeated almost daily, and mostly in the same context.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
c3a35e1
|
Moral Licensing Loophole: In moral licensing, we give ourselves permission to do something "bad" (eat potato chips, bust the budget) because we've been "good." We reason that we've earned it or deserve it."
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
057e830
|
Lack of Control Loophole: Weirdly, we often have an illusion of control over things we can't control--"If I spend a lot of time worrying, the plane is less likely to crash," "If I play my lucky numbers, I'll win the lottery eventually"--but deny control over things we can control ("If my cell phone buzzes, I have to check it"). We argue that circumstances force us to break a habit, but often, we have more control than we admit."
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
afdfbef
|
Questionable Assumption Loophole: We make assumptions that influence our habits--often, not for the better--and many of those assumptions become less convincing under close scrutiny. A reader posted a good example: "I set up weird mental blocks around my time. For instance, if it's 9 a.m. and I have an appointment at 11 a.m., I'll think 'Oh, I have to go somewhere in two hours, so I can't really start anything serious' and then end up wasti..
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
e74ef6a
|
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it. --Ralph Waldo Emerson, "New England Reformers"
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
e61fefc
|
About 30 to 50 percent of happiness is genetically determined; about 10 to 20 percent reflects life circumstances (such as age, gender, health, marital status, income, occupation); and the rest is very much influenced by the way we think and act. We possess considerable power to push ourselves to the top or bottom of our natural range through our conscious actions and thoughts.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
c04184d
|
Any beginning is a time of special power for habit creation, and at certain times we experience a clean slate, in which circumstances change in a way that makes a fresh start possible--if we're alert for the opportunity.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
75b7b26
|
The least strained and most natural ways of the soul are the most beautiful; the best occupations are the least forced.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
285d61e
|
One lives in the naive notion that later there will be more room than in the entire past. --Elias Canetti, The Human Province
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
b2c7c9a
|
Underreact to a problem
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
c2659d2
|
Many assume that offering a reward will help people to jump-start a healthy habit, which will then persist after the reward fades away. Not so. Often, as soon as the reward stops (and sometimes before it stops), the behavior stops.
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
b9b2995
|
There is a myth, sometimes widespread, that a person need do only inner work ... that a man is entirely responsible for his own problems; and that to cure himself, he need only change himself.... The fact is, a person is so formed by his surroundings, that his state of harmony depends entirely on his harmony with his surroundings. --CHRISTOPHER ALEXANDER, The Timeless Way of Building
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |
|
89594b3
|
Associate with people who are likely to improve you. --SENECA, Letters from a Stoic
|
|
|
Gretchen Rubin |