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e471dd8
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You don't have to matter any more than you do right now.
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Michael Cunningham |
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102ab96
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Podsjeti se: u jelu nema nista lose. Ne misli na trulez ni na izmetine; ne misli na lice u zrcalu.
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Michael Cunningham |
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3706970
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Ona byla pokhozha na zhenshchinu, kotoraia, chudom utselev vo vremia bombezhki, krasit guby i, nadev tufli na kablukakh, otpravliaetsia proguliat'sia sredi razvalin.
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Michael Cunningham |
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26c7e9b
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Usputna cinjenica: kukce ne privlaci plamen svijece, privlaci ih svjetlo onkraj plamena, oni odlaze u vatru i ispeku se, odu u nistavilo jer toliko zude za svjetlom s druge strane.
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Michael Cunningham |
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2997577
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V prisutstvii Dzhonatana moia zhizn' s'ezhivalas' do kakikh-to smekhotvornykh razmerov, i ia tol'ko i zhdal, kogda on nakonets uedet v aeroport, potomu chto v tot zhe mig narushennyi masshtab vosstanavlivalsia, i ia snova mog khodit' po ulitsam Klivlenda, ne chuvstvuia sebia bezhentsem-neudachnikom.
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Michael Cunningham |
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57220cc
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Vsegda molchalivo predpolagaia, chto otets umret ran'she menia, ia otodvigal eto sobytie v neopredelennoe budushchee, kogda ia pomudreiu, vyrabotaiu kharakter, pushchu khot' kakie-to korni. I vdrug -- kazalos', eto proizoshlo bukval'no v odnochas'e -- on stal sdavat' s kakoi-to nepredstavimoi bystrotoi, da i u menia samogo, vozmozhno, dolzhny byli vot-vot proiavit'sia pervye simptomy bolezni.
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Michael Cunningham |
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944066b
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Vozmozhno, v svoistvennoi iunosti rastochitel'nosti my legko i chut' li ne proizvol'no razdarivaem nashi priviazannosti, bezosnovatel'no polagaia, chto u nas vsegda budet chto eshche predlozhit'.
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Michael Cunningham |
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a8d5d5c
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umershie -- trudnaia tema. Pozhalui, samoe primechatel'noe v nikh -- neizmennost' ikh statusa. Oni budut mertvy v tom zhe samom smysle i cherez tysiachu let. Ia vse eshche privykal k etomu v sviazi s moim sobstvennym ottsom. Poka on byl zhiv, ia vsegda podsoznatel'no iskhodil iz podvizhnosti nashikh otnoshenii. Teper' vozmozhnost' chto-libo izmenit' byla utrachena. On navsegda unes ee s soboi v pech' krematoriia.
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Michael Cunningham |
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5f16dc7
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V iunosti est' vremia stroit' plany i pridumyvat' chto-to novoe. V bolee solidnom vozraste prikhoditsia tratit' vsiu energiiu na to, chto uzhe privedeno v dvizhenie.
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Michael Cunningham |
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7a02f01
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This moment may come to us all, at some point in our eventutal move from health into sickness. We abandon our old obligation to consider the needs of others, and give ourselves up to their care. There is a shift in status. We become citizens of a new realm, and although we retain the best and worst of our former selves we are no longer bodily in command of our fates.
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Michael Cunningham |
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1de3cc4
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Kreslo Richarda sovershenno bezumno, vernee, eto kreslo cheloveka, kotoryi ne to chtoby soshel s uma v klinicheskom smysle, no pozvolil veshcham zaiti tak daleko, prodelal takoi put' v storonu otkaza ot obshchepriniatykh norm pitaniia i gigieny, chto tonkaia gran' mezhdu bezumiem i otchaian'em prakticheski sterlas'.
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Michael Cunningham |
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668f262
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No est' odna veshch', kotoraia ee deistvitel'no muchaet -- eto tort. On vyzyvaet u nee zhguchee chuvstvo styda, i ona nichego ne mozhet s etim podelat'. Eto vsego lish' sakhar, muka i iaitsa; neizbezhnoe nesovershenstvo -- chast' ocharovaniia samodel'nogo torta. Ona eto ponimaet, prekrasno ponimaet. I tem ne menee ona nadeialas' na chto-to bolee prekrasnoe i znachitel'noe, chem to, chto vyshlo, nesmotria na bezuprechnuiu poverkhnost' i akku..
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Michael Cunningham |
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28106e1
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Eto bylo by tak zhe prosto, kak zaregistrirovat'sia v gostinitse. Ne slozhnee. A kak zamechatel'no bylo by prosto ischeznut'. Kak zamechatel'no bylo by navsegda perestat' volnovat'sia, srazhat'sia, terpet' porazheniia.
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Michael Cunningham |
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fef4093
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My zhivem svoiu zhizn', delaem to, chto delaem, a potom spim -- vse dovol'no prosto na samom dele. Odni prygaiut iz okna, ili topiatsia, ili prinimaiut snotvornoe; drugie -- takoe byvaet neskol'ko chashche -- gibnut v rezul'tate neschastnykh sluchaev; i, nakonets, bol'shinstvo, podavliaiushchee bol'shinstvo iz nas medlenno pozhiraetsia kakoi-nibud' bolezn'iu ili -- esli ochen' povezet -- samim vremenem. A v kachestve utesheniia nam daetsia ..
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Michael Cunningham |
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2564f4c
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We thought she was alright, we thought her sorrows were ordinary ones, We had no idea.
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sucide
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Michael Cunningham |
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95e7737
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If I were thinking clearly, Leonard, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark. And that only I can know, only I can understand my own condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too.
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Michael Cunningham |
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7828c6d
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I liked to think you could change your life without abandoning the simple daily truths.
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Michael Cunningham |
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4ba0023
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What happened? You were there, you must have seen it. I keep thinking there must be something I don't remember. I've got a decent job, I have lovers and friends. So why do I feel so numb and separate? Why do I feel like a failure? For years, for most of my recollected life, I'd walked carefully over a subterranean well of boredom and hopelessness that lied just beneath the thin outer layer of my imagination. If I'd stood still for too long..
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Michael Cunningham |
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37b8b99
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I could not help investing his every quality with a heightened sense of the real, nor could I quit wondering, from moment to moment, what it was like to be inside his skin.
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Michael Cunningham |
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bd4a9b3
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Happiness is believing that you're gonna be happy. It's hope.
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Michael Cunningham |
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0bb5305
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Suddenly the door to one of the trailers opens, and a famous head emerges. It is a woman's head, quite a distance away, seen in profile, like the head on a coin, and while Clarissa cannot immediately identify her (Meryl Streep? Vanessa Redgrave?) she knows without question that the woman is a movie star. She knows by her aura of regal assurance, and by the eagerness with which one of the prop men speaks to her (inaudibly to Clarissa) about ..
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Michael Cunningham |
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8013db8
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It seemed the morrow's holding had become a sort of peoples park in the suburbs of Cleveland. The other on the block, those who still lived in the fading jerry-built ranch houses with birdbaths or plaster dwarves on their lawns had appropriated it. I could imagine them gathering there at dusk, their children swaying creakily on the swings as the women planted sunflower seeds and murmured over the day's events. It was slightly criminal, an u..
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Michael Cunningham |
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b3cd59a
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It's remarkable, being alive. Being, once again, someone walking through a dust of blowing snow, passing the window of the liquor store, which offers an array of bottles surrounded by tiny blinking lights,; seeing her own reflection skim across the glass; being, once again, able to recieve the ordinary pleasures, boots on the pavement, hands in the pockets of her jacket...
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Michael Cunningham |
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22abde9
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She is better, she is safer, if she rests in Richmond; if she does not speak too much, write too much, feel too much; if she does not travel impetuously to London and walk through its streets; and yet she is dying this way, she is gently dying on a bed of roses.
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Michael Cunningham |
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b4e367b
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Mnogie gody, na samom dele bol'shuiu chast' svoei soznatel'noi zhizni, ia ostorozhno skol'zila nad podzemnymi vodami skuki i otchaian'ia, ot kotorykh menia otdelial lish' tonkii sloi voobrazheniia. Ostanovis' ia slishkom nadolgo, poddaisia zhelaniiu peredokhnut', ia by provalilas'. Poetomu ia delala serezhki, khodila v kluby i v kino, perekrashivala volosy.
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Michael Cunningham |
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2e414bc
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Ia khotela skazat' emu, chto mertvym my dolzhny eshche men'she, chem zhivym, i chto nasha edinstvennaia, khotia i ves'ma somnitel'naia, vozmozhnost' schast'ia -- v bezuslovnom privetstvii peremen.
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Michael Cunningham |
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ab3b77d
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Galaktiki vzryvaiutsia nad ego golovoi, a on v odnikh trusakh v goroshek.
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Michael Cunningham |
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2197212
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Kogda vperedi voznikaet golubovatyi abris doma, ia vspominaiu, chto dom -- eto tozhe sposob begstva. On nash, on dan nam, chtoby my mogli ukhodit' i vozvrashchat'sia.
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Michael Cunningham |
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68f9dbd
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All my life I could do anything. I could do anything, really. Except the one thing I wanted
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Michael Cunningham |
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5a17830
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I've stayed alive for you. But now you have to let me go
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Michael Cunningham |
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e6a3591
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It's the city's crush and heave that move you; its intricacy; its endless life. You know the story about Manhattan as a wilderness purchased for strings of beads, but you find it impossible not to believe that it has always been a city; that if you dug beneath it you would find the ruins of another, older city, and then another and another.
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Michael Cunningham |
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41997a8
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She loves the world for being rude and indestructible, and she knows that other people must love it too, poor as well as rich, though no one speaks specifically of the reasons. Why else do we struggle to go on living, no matter how compromised, no matter how harmed? Even when we're further gone than Richard; even if we're fleshless, blazing with lesions, shitting in the sheets; still, we want desperately to live.
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Michael Cunningham |
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977509a
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I've felt it for some time now, closing around me like the jaws of a gigantic flower. Isn't that a peculiar analogy? It feels that way, though. It has a certain vegetable inevitability. Think of the Venus flytrap. Think of kudzu choking a forest. It's a sort of juicy, green, thriving process. Toward, well, you know. The green silence. Isn't it funny that, even now, it's difficult to say the word 'death'?
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illness
the-hours
dying
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Michael Cunningham |
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9d46feb
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Inogda razdeliaiushchaia nas tkan' rviotsia i v prorekhu prosvechivaet liubov'. Inogda prorekha eta na udivlenie mala.
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Michael Cunningham |
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f72e2ab
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Do we ever give anyone the gift they actually want?
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Michael Cunningham |
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842437b
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One error at the beginning is quite likely just that.
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Michael Cunningham |
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52c724e
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She knew she was going to have trouble believing in herself, in the rooms of her house, and when she glanced over at this new book on her nightstand, stacked atop the one she finished last night, she reached for it automatically, as if reading were the singular and obvious first task of the day, the only viable way to negotiate the transit from sleep to obligation.
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Michael Cunningham |
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0fae65a
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She is not given to fawning over celebrities, no more than most people, but can't help being drawn to the aura of fame--and more than fame, actual immortality-- implied by the presence of a movie star in a trailer.
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Michael Cunningham |
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2d22faf
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Superstitions are a comfort sometimes, I don't know why you so adamantly refuse all comforts.
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Michael Cunningham |
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b136b01
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What you are, more than anything, is alive.
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Michael Cunningham |
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37f8fdf
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Not all people were meant to be lovers.
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Michael Cunningham |
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e6c89e8
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Is this what it's like to go crazy? She'd never imagined it like this.
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Michael Cunningham |
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d3d4ce8
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Do you want to much to live in London?" he asks. "I do," she says. "I wish it were otherwise. I wish I were happy with the quiet life." "As do I."
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Michael Cunningham |
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0a035a7
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I admit it - there was a streak of sadism in my lusts. There was the taint of vanity. I choose ordinary men who would not refuse; who would feel lucky to have me. I did not thrill to the sight of their flesh - which was either bulky or scrawny but always abashed and grateful - so much as I did to the fact of their capture.
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Michael Cunningham |