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That we are scared of obstacles because our perspective is wrong--that a simple shift in perspective can change our reaction entirely
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Ryan Holiday |
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Lots of people," as the poet and artist Austin Kleon puts it, "want to be the noun without doing the verb." To make something great, what's required is need. As in, I need to do this. I have to. I can't not."
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Ryan Holiday |
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What we can do is limit and expand our perspective to whatever will keep us calmest and most ready for the task at hand. Think of it as selective editing--not to deceive others, but to properly orient ourselves.
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Ryan Holiday |
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It doesn't matter whether this is the worst time to be alive or the best, whether you're in a good job market or a bad one, or that the obstacle you face is intimidating or burdensome. What matters is that right now is right now.
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Ryan Holiday |
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The implications of our obstacle are theoretical--they exist in the past and the future. We live in the moment. And the more we embrace that, the easier the obstacle will be to face and move.
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Ryan Holiday |
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One thing is certain. It's not simply a matter of saying: Oh, I'll live in the present. You have to work at it. Catch your mind when it wanders--don't let it get away from you. Discard distracting thoughts. Leave things well enough alone--no matter how much you feel like doing otherwise.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Remember that this moment is not your life, it's just a moment in your life. Focus on what is in front of you, right now. Ignore what it "represents" or it "means" or "why it happened to you." There is plenty else going on right here to care about any of that."
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Ryan Holiday |
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Since the vast majority of our words and actions are unnecessary, corralling them will create an abundance of leisure and tranquility.
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Ryan Holiday |
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we shouldn't forget at each moment to ask, is this one of the unnecessary things?
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Ryan Holiday |
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Though of course we don't control reality, our perceptions do influence it.
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Ryan Holiday |
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It's one thing to not be overwhelmed by obstacles, or discouraged or upset by them. This is something that few are able to do. But after you have controlled your emotions, and you can see objectively and stand steadily, the next step becomes possible: a mental flip, so you're looking not at the obstacle but at the opportunity within it.
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Ryan Holiday |
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It's a huge step forward to realize that the worst thing to happen is never the event, but the event and losing your head.
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Ryan Holiday |
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As Laura Ingalls Wilder put it: "There is good in everything, if only we look for it."
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Ryan Holiday |
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Mike Tyson, who, reflecting on the collapse of his fortune and fame, told a reporter, "If you're not humble, life will visit humbleness upon you."
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Ryan Holiday |
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They start. Anywhere. Anyhow. They don't care if the conditions are perfect or if they're being slighted. Because they know that once they get started, if they can just get some momentum, they can make it work.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Life can be frustrating. Oftentimes we know what our problems are. We may even know what to do about them. But we fear that taking action is too risky, that we don't have the experience or that it's not how we pictured it or because it's too expensive, because it's too soon, because we think something better might come along, because it might not work. And you know what happens as a result? Nothing. We do nothing.
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Ryan Holiday |
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We often assume that the world moves at our leisure. We delay when we should initiate. We jog when we should be running or, better yet, sprinting. And then we're shocked--shocked!--when nothing big ever happens, when opportunities never show up, when new obstacles begin to pile up, or the enemies finally get their act together.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Too often we react emotionally, get despondent, and lose our perspective. All that does is turn bad things into really bad things. Unhelpful perceptions can invade our minds--that sacred place of reason, action and will--and throw off our compass.
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Ryan Holiday |
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When you worry, ask yourself, 'What am I choosing to not see right now?' What important things are you missing because you chose worry over introspection, alertness or wisdom?
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Ryan Holiday |
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Just don't lie to yourself by conflating emoting about a problem and dealing with it. Because they are as different as sleeping and waking.
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Ryan Holiday |
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You can always remind yourself: I am in control, not my emotions. I see what's really going on here. I'm not going to get excited or upset.
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Ryan Holiday |
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We defeat emotions with logic, or at least that's the idea. Logic is questions and statements. With enough of them, we get to root causes (which are always easier to deal with).
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Ryan Holiday |
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Blessings and burdens are not mutually exclusive. It's a lot more complicated.
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Ryan Holiday |
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You're becoming who you are going to be and so you might as well not be an asshole.
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Ryan Holiday |
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It doesn't make you a bad person to want to be remembered. To want to make it to the top. To provide for yourself and your family. After all, that's all part of the allure. There is a balance. Soccer coach Tony Adams expresses it well. Play for the name on the front of the jersey, he says, and they'll remember the name on the back.
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Ryan Holiday |
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We must understand that we are a small part of an interconnected universe. On top of all this, we have to build an organization and a system around what we do--one that is about the work and not about us.
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Ryan Holiday |
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It's not about kissing ass. It's not about making someone look good. It's about providing the support so that others can be good. The better wording for the advice is this: Find canvases for other people to paint on. Be an anteambulo. Clear the path for the people above you and you will eventually create a path for yourself.
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Ryan Holiday |
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We tend to think that ego equals confidence, which is what we need to be in charge. In fact, it can have the opposite effect.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Living clearly and presently takes courage. Don't live in the haze of the abstract, live with the tangible and real, even if--especially if--it's uncomfortable. Be part of what's going on around you. Feast on it, adjust for it. There's no one to perform for. There is just work to be done and lessons to be learned, in all that is around us.
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Ryan Holiday |
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the powers of perception, action, and the will. With this triad, they: First, see clearly. Next, act correctly. Finally, endure and accept the world as it is.
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Ryan Holiday |
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the attention you give to any action should be in due proportion to its worth, for then you won't tire and give up,
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Ryan Holiday |
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don't spend your time (the most valuable and least renewable of all your resources) on the things that don't matter.
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Ryan Holiday |
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What do these figures have that we lack? What are we missing? It's simple: a method and a framework for understanding, appreciating, and acting upon the obstacles life throws at us.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Oh, how blessed young men are who have to struggle for a foundation and beginning in life,
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Ryan Holiday |
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To perceive what others see as negative, as something to be approached rationally, clearly, and, most important, as an opportunity--not as something to fear or bemoan.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Humans are still primed to detect threats and dangers that no longer exist--think of the cold sweat when you're stressed about money, or the fight-or-flight response that kicks in when your boss yells at you. Our safety is not truly at risk here--there is little danger that we will starve or that violence will break out--though it certainly feels that way sometimes.
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Ryan Holiday |
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To one person a situation may be negative. To another, that same situation may be positive. "Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so," as Shakespeare put it."
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Ryan Holiday |
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There is always a countermove, always an escape or a way through, so there is no reason to get worked up. No one said it would be easy and, of course, the stakes are high, but the path is there for those ready to take it.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Shaking off the bad stuff as it happens and soldiering on--staring straight ahead as though nothing has happened.
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Ryan Holiday |
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If your nerve holds, then nothing really did "happen"--our perception made sure it was nothing of consequence."
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Ryan Holiday |
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Welcome to the source of most of our problems down here on Earth. Everything is planned down to the letter, then something goes wrong and the first thing we do is trade in our plan for a good ol' emotional freak-out. Some of us almost crave sounding the alarm, because it's easier than dealing with whatever is staring us in the face.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Thus, the question for astronauts was not How skilled a pilot are you, but Can you keep an even strain? Can you fight the urge to panic and instead focus only on what you can change? On the task at hand? Life is really no different. Obstacles make us emotional, but the only way we'll survive or overcome them is by keeping those emotions in check--if we can keep steady no matter what happens, no matter how much external events may fluctuate.
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Ryan Holiday |
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Don't let the negativity in, don't let those emotions even get started. Just say: No, thank you. I can't afford to panic. This is the skill that must be cultivated--freedom from disturbance and perturbation--so you can focus your energy exclusively on solving problems, rather than reacting to them.
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Ryan Holiday |
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In our own lives, how many problems seem to come from applying judgments to things we don't control, as though there were a way they were supposed to be? How often do we see what we think is there or should be there, instead of what actually is there?
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Ryan Holiday |