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evangelical churches often make extroversion a prerequisite for leadership, sometimes explicitly. "The priest must be ... an extrovert who enthusiastically engages members and newcomers, a team player," reads an ad for a position as associate rector of a 1,400-member parish."
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Susan Cain |
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It turned out that the introverts who were especially good at acting like extroverts tended to score high for a trait that psychologists call "self-monitoring." Self-monitors are highly skilled at modifying their behavior to the social demands of a situation. They look for cues to tell them how to act."
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Susan Cain |
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Probably the most common--and damaging--misunderstanding about personality type is that introverts are antisocial and extroverts are pro-social.
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Susan Cain |
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What's so magical about solitude? In many fields, it's only when you're alone that you can engage in deliberate practice. This is the key to exceptional achievement.
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Susan Cain |
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Restorative niche" is Professor Little's term for the place you go when you want to return to your true self. It can be a physical place, like the path beside the Richelieu River, or a temporal one, like the quiet breaks you plan between sales calls. It can mean canceling your social plans on the weekend before a big meeting at work, practicing yoga or meditation, or choosing e-mail over an in-person meeting."
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Susan Cain |
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Patience
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Susan Cain |
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Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything. --ROBERT RUBIN, In an Uncertain World ALMOST
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Susan Cain |
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components of the ability to
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Susan Cain |
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This theory of extroversion is still young, and it is not absolute.
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Susan Cain |
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seem to need people as a forum to fill needs for social impact, just as a general needs soldiers to fill his or her need to lead,
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Susan Cain |
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people followed Moses because his words were thoughtful, not because he spoke them well.
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Susan Cain |
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EVER TRIED SELLING YOURSELF TO YOU? A FAVORABLE FIRST IMPRESSION IS THE GREATEST SINGLE FACTOR IN BUSINESS OR SOCIAL SUCCESS.
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Susan Cain |
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solitude can be a catalyst to innovation.
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Susan Cain |
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Ia vsegda byl loshad'iu v odnokonnoi upriazhke; ia ne sozdan dlia tandema ili komandnoi raboty... ved' ia khorosho znaiu: dlia dostizheniia opredelennoi tseli ochen' vazhno, chtoby odin chelovek i myslil, i poveleval{1}. Al'bert Einshtein
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Susan Cain |
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Rabotaite v odinochku. Vy smozhete sozdavat' revoliutsionnye produkty s luchshimi kharakteristikami, esli budete rabotat' nad nim samostoiatel'no. Ne v sostave gruppy. Ne v sostave komandy.
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Susan Cain |
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Psikholog Gans Aizenk, introversiia <>.
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Susan Cain |
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Bolder animals sally forth, swallowed regularly by those farther up the food chain but surviving when food is scarce and they need to assume more risk.
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Susan Cain |
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venal
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Susan Cain |
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There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum.
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Susan Cain |
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What scientists haven't realized until recently is that these risk factors have an upside. In other words, the sensitivities and the strengths are a package deal. High-reactive kids who enjoy good parenting, child care, and a stable home environment tend to have fewer emotional problems and more social skills than their lower-reactive peers, studies show. Often they're exceedingly empathic, caring, and cooperative. They work well with other..
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Susan Cain |
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We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual--the kind who's comfortable "putting himself out there."
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Susan Cain |
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high-reactive child's ideal parent: someone who "can read your cues and respect your individuality; is warm and firm in placing demands on you without being harsh or hostile; promotes curiosity, academic achievement, delayed gratification, and self-control; and is not harsh, neglectful, or inconsistent."
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Susan Cain |
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At the onset of the Culture of Personality, we were urged to develop an extroverted personality for frankly selfish reasons--as a way of outshining the crowd in a newly anonymous and competitive society.
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Susan Cain |
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The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed. --CARL JUNG
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Susan Cain |
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when she died in 2005 at the age of ninety-two, the flood of obituaries recalled her as soft-spoken, sweet, and small in stature. They said she was "timid and shy" but had "the courage of a lion." They were full of phrases like "radical humility" and "quiet fortitude."
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Susan Cain |
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The "Bus to Abilene" anecdote reveals our tendency to follow those who initiate action--any action."
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Susan Cain |
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Gandhi's passivity was not weakness at all. It meant focusing on an ultimate goal and refusing to divert energy to unnecessary skirmishes along the way.
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Susan Cain |
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It's not always so easy, it turns out, to identify your core personal projects. And it can be especially tough for introverts, who have spent so much of their lives conforming to extroverted norms that by the time they choose a career, or a calling, it feels perfectly normal to ignore their own preferences. They may be uncomfortable in law school or nursing school or in the marketing department, but no more so than they were back in middle ..
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Susan Cain |
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Introverts and extroverts also direct their attention differently: if you leave them to their own devices, the introverts tend to sit around wondering about things, imagining things, recalling events from their past, and making plans for the future. The extroverts are more likely to focus on what's happening around them. It's as if extroverts are seeing "what is" while their introverted peers are asking "what if." Introverts" --
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Susan Cain |
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I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they're good talkers, but they don't have good ideas," he"
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Susan Cain |
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Iconoclast, the neuroeconomist Gregory Berns
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Susan Cain |
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Usually they're carried away by people who are assertive and domineering. The risk with our students is that they're very good at getting their way. But that doesn't mean they're going the right way." If"
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Susan Cain |
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The one and only personality trait the effective ones I have encountered did have in common was something they did not have: they had little or no 'charisma' and little use either for the term or what it signifies." Supporting Drucker's claim, Brigham Young University management professor Bradley Agle studied the CEOs of 128 major companies and found that those considered charismatic by their top executives had bigger salaries but not bette..
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Susan Cain |
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Functional, moderate guilt," writes Kochanska, "may promote future altruism, personal responsibility, adaptive behavior in school, and harmonious, competent, and prosocial relationships with parents, teachers, and friends." This is an especially important set of attributes at a time when a 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop..
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Susan Cain |
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Words are potentially dangerous weapons that reveal things better left unsaid.
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Susan Cain |
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If you're an introvert, find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up. You enjoy relative freedom from the temptations of superficial prizes like money and status.
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Susan Cain |
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In most settings, people use small talk as a way of relaxing into a new relationship, and only once they're comfortable do they connect more seriously. Sensitive people seem to do the reverse. They "enjoy small talk only after they've gone deep," says Strickland. "When sensitive people are in environments that nurture their authenticity, they laugh and chitchat just as much as anyone else." On"
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Susan Cain |
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When the introverts were asked to work at the noise level preferred by the extroverts, and vice versa, everything changed. Not only were the introverts over-aroused by the loud noise, but they also underperformed--taking an average of 9.1 trials rather than 5.8 to learn the game. The opposite was true for the extroverts--they were under-aroused (and possibly bored) by the quieter conditions, and took an average of 7.3 trials, compared with ..
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Susan Cain |
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So stay true to your own nature. If you like to do things in a slow and steady way, don't let others make you feel as if you have to race. If you enjoy depth, don't force yourself to seek breadth. If you prefer single-tasking to multitasking, stick to your guns. Being relatively unmoved by rewards gives you the incalculable power to go your own way. It's up to you to use that independence to good effect. Of
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Susan Cain |
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Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions--from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer--came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there. Without introverts, the world would be devoid of: the theory of gravity the theory of relativity W. B. Yeats's "The Second Coming" Chopin's nocturnes Proust's In Search of Lost Time Peter Pan Orwe..
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Susan Cain |
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The contrast is striking," writes Michael Harris Bond, a cross-cultural psychologist who focuses on China. "The Americans emphasize sociability and prize those attributes that make for easy, cheerful association. The Chinese emphasize deeper attributes, focusing on moral virtues and achievement." Another"
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Susan Cain |
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The next generation of quiet kids can and should be raised to know their own strengths.
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Susan Cain |
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introverts prefer to work independently, and solitude can be a catalyst to innovation. As the influential psychologist Hans Eysenck once observed, introversion "concentrates the mind on the tasks in hand, and prevents the dissipation of energy on social and sexual matters unrelated to work." In other words, if you're in the backyard sitting under a tree while everyone else is clinking glasses on the patio, you're more likely to have an appl..
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Susan Cain |
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verbal fluency and sociability are the two most important predictors of success, according to a Stanford Business School study.
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Susan Cain |