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The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones.
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Susan Cain |
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Perfectionism] keeps your work at a high quality, but often prevents you from getting your ideas out there at all, since pretty much nothing anyone does is ever perfect.
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Susan Cain |
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Proust called these moments of unity between writer and reader "that fruitful miracle of a communication in the midst of solitude."
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Susan Cain |
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Here's a rule of thumb for networking events: one new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistfuls of business cards. Rush home afterward and kick back on your sofa. Carve out restorative niches.
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Susan Cain |
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Extroverts are more likely to take a quick-and-dirty approach to problem-solving, trading accuracy for speed, making increasing numbers of mistakes as they go, and abandoning ship altogether when the problem seems too difficult or frustrating. Introverts think before they act, digest information thoroughly, stay on task longer, give up less easily, and work more accurately.
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Susan Cain |
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Introverts often work more slowly and deliberately. They like to focus on one task at a time and can have mighty powers of concentration. They're relatively immune to the lures of wealth and fame.
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Susan Cain |
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One new honest-to-goodness relationship is worth ten fistfuls of business cards.
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Susan Cain |
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Grant says it makes sense that introverts are uniquely good at leading initiative-takers. Because of their inclination to listen to others and lack of interest in dominating social situations, introverts are more likely to hear and implement suggestions. Having benefited from the talents of their followers, they are then likely to motivate them to be even more proactive. Introverted leaders create a virtuous circle of proactivity, in other ..
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Susan Cain |
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introverts function better than extroverts when sleep deprived, which is a cortically de-arousing condition
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Susan Cain |
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in the words of psychologists John Brebner and Chris Cooper, who have shown that extroverts think less and act faster on such tasks: introverts are "geared to inspect" and extroverts "geared to respond." But the more interesting aspect of this puzzling behavior is not what the extroverts do before they've hit the wrong button, but what they do after. When introverts hit the number nine button and find they've lost a point, they slow down be..
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Susan Cain |
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when he analyzed what the highest-performing companies had in common, the nature of their CEOs jumped out at him. Every single one of them was led by an unassuming man like Darwin Smith.
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Susan Cain |
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Aron has noted that sensitive people tend to speak softly because that's how they prefer others to communicate with them.
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Susan Cain |
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Why shouldn't quiet be strong? And what else can quiet do that we don't give it credit for?
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Susan Cain |
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Extroverts get better grades than introverts during elementary school, but introverts outperform extroverts in high school and college. At the university level, introversion predicts academic performance better than cognitive ability.
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Susan Cain |
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introverts, who sometimes feel as if their propensity for problem talk makes them a drag, should know that they make it safe for others to get serious" (239)."
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Susan Cain |
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If you're an introvert, you also know that the bias against quiet can cause deep psychic pain.
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Susan Cain |
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extroverts do not necessarily seek closeness from their socializing. "Extroverts seem to need people as a forum to fill needs for social impact, just as a general needs soldiers to fill his or her need to lead," the psychologist William Graziano told me. "When extroverts show up at a party, everyone knows they are present."
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Susan Cain |
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You have to be someone who speaks well and calls attention to yourself. It's an elitism based on something other than merit.
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Susan Cain |
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A software engineer named Tom kicks off, describing with great passion his relief at learning that there was "a physiological basis for the trait of sensitivity. Here's the research! This is how I am! I don't have to try to meet anyone's expectations anymore. I"
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Susan Cain |
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We know from myths and fairy tales that there are many different kinds of powers in this world. One child is given a light saber, another a wizard's education. The trick is not to amass all the different kinds of available power, but to use well the kind you've been granted.
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Susan Cain |
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Montgomery, Alabama. December 1, 1955. Early evening. A public bus pulls to a stop and a sensibly dressed woman in her forties gets on. She carries herself erectly, despite having spent the day bent over an ironing board in a dingy basement tailor shop at the Montgomery Fair department store. Her feet are swollen, her shoulders ache. She sits in the first row of the Colored section and watches quietly as the bus fills with riders. Until the..
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Susan Cain |
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our Charlie Brown moments are the price we have to pay to bang our drums happily through the decades.
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Susan Cain |
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Society often overlooks us introverts. We idolize the talkers and the spotlight seekers, as if they are the role models should be emulating. I call this the Extrovert Ideal. This is the belief that we're all supposed to be quick-thinking, charismatic risk takers who prefer action to contemplation. The Extrovert Ideal is what can make you feel as if there's something wrong with you because you're not at your best in a large group. It's an ..
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Susan Cain |
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The Internet's role in promoting face-to-face group
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Susan Cain |
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Even though I make no special attempt to observe the discipline of silence, living alone automatically makes me refrain from the sins of speech. --KAMO NO CHOMEI, 12th Century Japanese recluse
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Susan Cain |
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all talking is selling and all selling involves talking,
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Susan Cain |
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Alan and his wife had worked all their lives, and managed to sock away a million dollars for retirement. But four months earlier he'd gotten the idea that, despite having no experience in the markets, he should buy a hundred thousand dollars' worth of GM stock, based on reports that the U.S. government might bail out the auto industry. He was convinced it was a no-lose investment. After his trade went through, the media reported that the ba..
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Susan Cain |
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Putting theory into practice is hard for them," writes Gallagher, "because their sensitive natures and elaborate schemes are unsuited to the heterogeneous rigors of the schoolyard."
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Susan Cain |
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Taking shelter in bathrooms is a surprisingly common phenomenon, as you probably know if you're an introvert.
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Susan Cain |
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it's always been private occasions that make me feel connected to the joys and sorrows of the world,
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Susan Cain |
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naked lions are just as dangerous as elegantly dressed ones.
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Susan Cain |
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She had trouble finding the sacred in the everyday; it seemed to be there only when she withdrew from the world.
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Susan Cain |
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Imagine you work hard to prepare a talk on a subject you care about. You get your message across, and when you finish the audience rises to its feet, its clapping sustained and sincere. One person might leave the room feeling, "I'm glad I got my message across, but I'm also happy it's over; now I can get back to the rest of my life." Another person, more sensitive to buzz, might walk away feeling, "What a trip! Did you hear that applause? D..
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Susan Cain |
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If "fast" and "slow" animals had parties, writes the evolutionary biologist David Sloan Wilson, "some of the fasts would bore everyone with their loud conversation, while others would mutter into their beer that they don't get any respect. Slow animals are best described as shy, sensitive types. They don't assert themselves, but they are observant and notice things that are invisible to the bullies. They are the writers and artists at the p..
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Susan Cain |
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It also helps explain why extroverts are more prone than introverts to overconfidence--defined as greater confidence unmatched by greater ability.
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Susan Cain |
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In our culture, guilt is a tainted word, but it's probably one of the building blocks of conscience.
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Susan Cain |
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Overarousal interferes with attention and short-term memory--key
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Susan Cain |
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LET YOUR FACE REFLECT CONFIDENCE, NOT WORRY! IT'S THE 'LOOK' OF YOU BY WHICH YOU ARE JUDGED MOST OFTEN.
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Susan Cain |
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Csikszentmihalyi, who between 1990 and 1995 studied the lives of ninety-one exceptionally creative people in the arts, sciences, business, and government, many of his subjects were on the social margins during adolescence, partly because "intense curiosity or focused interest seems odd to their peers." Teens who are too gregarious to spend time alone often fail to cultivate their talents "because practicing music or studying math requires a..
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Susan Cain |
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Studies show that one third to one half of us are introverts. This means that you have more introverted kids in your class than you think. Even at a young age, some introverts become adept at acting like extroverts, making it tough to spot them. Balance teaching methods to serve all the kids in your class. Extroverts tend to like movement, stimulation, collaborative work. Introverts prefer lectures, downtime, and independent projects. Mix i..
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Susan Cain |
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Introverts often have one or two deep interests that are not necessarily shared by their peers. Sometimes they're made to feel freaky for the force of these passions, when in fact studies show that this sort of intensity is a prerequisite to talent development. Praise these kids for their interests, encourage them, and help them find like-minded friends, if not in the classroom, then outside it.
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Susan Cain |
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As children, our classroom desks are increasingly arranged in pods, the better to foster group learning, and research suggests that the vast majority of teachers believe that the ideal student is an extrovert.
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Susan Cain |
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Kafka, for example, couldn't bear to be near even his adoring fiancee while he worked: You once said that you would like to sit beside me while I write. Listen, in that case I could not write at all. For writing means revealing oneself to excess; that utmost of self-revelation and surrender, in which a human being, when involved with others, would feel he was losing himself, and from which, therefore, he will always shrink as long as he is ..
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Susan Cain |
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I learned to not worry so much about the outcome, but to concentrate on the step I was on and to try to do it as perfectly as I could when I was doing it.
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Susan Cain |