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The conference is geared to people who enjoy meaningful discussions and sometimes "move a conversation to a deeper level, only to find out we are the only ones there." . . . When it's my turn, I talk about how I've never been in a group environment in which I didn't feel obliged to present an unnaturally rah-rah version of myself. . . . Scientists can easily report on the behavior of extroverts, who can often be found laughing, talking, or ..
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Susan Cain |
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In the first study, Grant and his colleagues analyzed data from one of the five biggest pizza chains in the United States. They discovered that the weekly profits of the stores managed by extroverts were 16 percent higher than the profits of those led by introverts--but only when the employees were passive types who tended to do their job without exercising initiative. Introverted leaders had the exact opposite results. When they worked wit..
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Susan Cain |
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Use your natural powers--of persistence, concentration, insight, and sensitivity--to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems, make art, think deeply.
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Susan Cain |
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Should we become so proficient at self-presentation that we can dissemble without anyone suspecting?
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Susan Cain |
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I have found that there are three key steps to identifying your own core personal projects. First, think back to what you loved to do when you were a child. How did you answer the question of what you wanted to be when you grew up? The specific answer you gave may have been off the mark, but the underlying impulse was not. If you wanted to be a fireman, what did a fireman mean to you? A good man who rescued people in distress? A daredevil? ..
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Susan Cain |
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8af726b
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The trick for introverts is to honor their styles instead of allowing themselves to be swept up by prevailing norms.
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self-awareness
success
norms
self-esteem
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Susan Cain |
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5c1ebfc
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Do you really believe in what you said or wrote - in the thing that's bringing criticism? And if I do believe it, I can withstand anything.
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susan cain |
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Most inventors and engineers I've met are like me--they're shy and they live in their heads. They're almost like artists. In fact, the very best of them are artists. And artists work best alone where they can control an invention's design without a lot of other people designing it for marketing or some other committee. I don't believe anything really revolutionary has been invented by committee. If you're that rare engineer who's an invento..
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Susan Cain |
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5acccc1
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Introverts need to trust their gut and share their ideas as powerfully as they can.
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trust
introverts
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Susan Cain |
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820ecef
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Whoever you are, bear in mind that appearance is not reality. Some people are like extroverts, but the effort costs them in energy, authenticity, and even physical health. Others seem aloof or self-contained, but their inner landscapes are rich and full of drama.
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Susan Cain |
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0923bf2
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Who could be happy in a world of podiums and microphones?
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Susan Cain |
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80c5087
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Introverts feel "just right" with less stimulation, as when they sip wine with a close friend, solve a crossword puzzle, or read a book. Extroverts enjoy the extra bang that comes from activities like meeting new people, skiing slippery slopes, and cranking up the stereo."
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Susan Cain |
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c21f1cd
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if you can think of meetings you've attended, you can probably recall a time - plenty of times - when the opinion of the most dynamic or talkative person prevailed to the detriment of all.
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Susan Cain |
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1a73db7
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It can be hard for extroverts to understand how badly introverts need to recharge at the end of a busy day. We all empathize with a sleep-deprived mate who comes home from work too tired to talk, but it's harder to grasp that social overstimulation can be just as exhausting.
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Susan Cain |
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e5e07ec
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In her book Anger: The Misunderstood Emotion, Carol Tavris recounts a story about a Bengali cobra that liked to bite passing villagers. One day a swami--a man who has achieved self-mastery--convinces the snake that biting is wrong. The cobra vows to stop immediately, and does. Before long, the village boys grow unafraid of the snake and start to abuse him. Battered and bloodied, the snake complains to the swami that this is what came of kee..
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Susan Cain |
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875d05b
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Because conflict-avoidant Emily would never "bite" or even hiss unless Greg had done something truly horrible, on some level she processes his bite to mean that she's terribly guilty--of something, anything, who knows what?"
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relationships
conflict
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Susan Cain |
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83726e1
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we can stretch our personalities, but only up to a point. Our inborn temperaments influence us, regardless of the lives we lead. A sizable part of who we are is ordained by our genes, by our brains, by our nervous systems. And yet the elasticity that Schwartz found in some of the high-reactive teens also suggests the converse: we have free will and can use it to shape our personalities. These seem like contradictory principles, but they ar..
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Susan cain |
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I need a break after school," she told me later. "School is hard because a lot of people are in the room, so you get tired. I freak out if my mom plans a play date without telling me, because I don't want to hurt my friends' feelings. But I'd rather stay home. At a friend's house you have to do the things other people want to do. I like hanging out with my mom after school because I can learn from her. She's been alive longer than me. We ha..
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happy
thoughts
feelings
learning
play
mom
introverts
quiet
introvert
home
thoughtful
school
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Susan Cain |
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2f9115c
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The most effective teams are composed of a healthy mix of introverts and extroverts, studies show, and so are many leadership structures.
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Susan Cain |
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5c9a381
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Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again. --ANAIS NIN
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Susan Cain |
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cac3523
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By the time I was old enough to figure out that I was simply introverted, it was a part of my being, the assumption that there is something inherently wrong with me. I wish I could find that little vestige of doubt and remove it.
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Susan Cain |
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We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal--the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.
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Susan Cain |
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Respect for individual human personality has with us reached its lowest point," observed one intellectual in 1921, "and it is delightfully ironical that no nation is so constantly talking about personality as we are. We actually have schools for 'self-expression' and 'self-development,' although we seem usually to mean the expression and development of a successful real estate agent."
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Susan Cain |
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bea51a0
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So when introverts assume the observer role, as when they write novels, or contemplate unified field theory- or fall quiet at dinner parties- they're not demonstrating a failure or a lack of energy. They're simply doing what they're constitutionally suited for" (237)."
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Susan Cain |
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the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity...What looks like multitasking is really switching back and forth between multiple tasks, which reduces productivity and increases mistakes by up to 50 percent.
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Susan Cain |
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I am a horse for a single harness, not cut out for tandem or teamwork ... for well I know that in order to attain any definite goal, it is imperative that one person do the thinking and the commanding. --ALBERT EINSTEIN
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Susan Cain |
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Even though we can reach for the outer limits of our temperaments, it can often be better to situate ourselves squarely inside our comfort zones. . . . Once you understand introversion and extroversion as preferences for certain levels of stimulation, you can begin consciously trying to situate yourself in environments favorable to your own personality--neither overstimulating nor understimulating, neither boring nor anxiety-making. You can..
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Susan Cain |
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Gandhi himself ultimately rejected the phrase "passive resistance," which he associated with weakness, preferring satyagraha, the term he coined to mean "firmness in pursuit of truth."
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Susan Cain |
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cfc75c0
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In other words, introverts are capable of acting like extroverts for the sake of work they consider important, people they love, or anything they value highly.
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Susan Cain |
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It's not always so easy, it turns out, to identify your core personal projects. And it can be especially tough for introverts, who have spent so much of their lives conforming to extroverted norms that by the time they choose a career, or a calling, it feels perfectly normal to ignore their own preferences. They may be uncomfortable in law school or nursing school or in the marketing department, but no more so than they were back in middle ..
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Susan Cain |
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Women were also urged to work on a mysterious quality called 'fascination.' Coming of age in the 1920's was a competitive business...
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Susan Cain |
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Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything. --ROBERT RUBIN,
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Susan Cain |
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Ericsson says that it takes approximately ten thousand hours of Deliberate Practice to gain true expertise, so it helps to start young.
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Susan Cain |
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b3f8387
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Don't mistake assertiveness or eloquence for good ideas.
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Susan Cain |
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71cad5d
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Even multitasking, that prized feat of modern-day office warriors, turns out to be a myth. Scientists now know that the brain is incapable of paying attention to two things at the same time. What looks like multitasking is really switching back and forth between multiple tasks, which reduces productivity and increases mistakes by up to 50 percent.
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Susan Cain |
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7e50044
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If you're a manager, remember that one third to one half of your workforce is probably introverted, whether they appear that way or not. Think twice about how you design your organization's office space. Don't expect introverts to get jazzed up about open office plans or, for that matter, lunchtime birthday parties or team-building retreats. Make the most of introverts' strengths--these are the people who can help you think deeply, strategi..
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Susan Cain |
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Purification and redemption are such recurrent themes in ritual because there is a clear and ubiquitous need for them: we all do regrettable things as a result of our own circumstances, and new rituals are frequently invented in response to new circumstances.
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purify
themes
redemption
regret
ritual
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Susan Cain |
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a88cc50
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Pay attention to what you envy. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it tells the truth. You mostly envy those who have what you desire.
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Susan Cain |
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47be516
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The other thing Aron found about sensitive people is that sometimes they're highly empathic. It's as if they have thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions and from the tragedies and cruelties of the world. They tend to have unusually strong consciences. They avoid violent movies and TV shows; they're acutely aware of the consequences of a lapse in their own behavior. In social settings they often focus on subjects lik..
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Susan Cain |
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Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk..
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Susan Cain |
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Nor are introverts necessarily shy. Shyness is the fear of social disapproval or humiliation, while introversion is a preference for environments that are not overstimulating. Shyness is inherently painful; introversion is not. One reason that people confuse the two concepts is that they sometimes overlap (though psychologists debate to what degree). Some psychologists map the two tendencies on vertical and horizontal axes, with the introve..
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Susan Cain |
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879da62
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l'nTwy'ywn , fy lmqbl , rbm ldyhm mhrt 'jtm`y@ qwy@ wytmt`wn bllq fy lHflt wl`ml , lkn b`d Hyn yrGbwn lw knw fy qmSn lnwm fy bywthm . 'nhm yfDlwn tkrys Tqthm ljtm`y@ l'Sdqy'hm lmqrbyn wlzml wl`y'l@ , 'nhm ynStwn 'kthr mm ytklmwn , wyfkrwn qbl 'n ytklmwn , w ysh`rwn Glban 'nhm 'fDl fy lt`byr `n 'nfshm fy lktb@ 'kthr mn lmHdth@ , whm ykrhwn lSr` , wkthyr mnhm yr`bhm lHwr lqSyr wlkn ytmt`wn blnqsht l`myq@
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Susan Cain |
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Introversion--along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness--is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology.
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Susan Cain |
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Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions--from the theory of evolution to van Gogh's sunflowers to the personal computer--came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.
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Susan Cain |