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c68bbe2
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Amazingly, neuroscientists have even found that people who use Botox, which prevents them from making angry faces, seem to be less anger-prone than those who don't, because the very act of frowning triggers the amygdala to process negative emotions.
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Susan Cain |
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c8bd180
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Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we've turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.
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Susan Cain |
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768296f
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Mark Twain once told a story about a man who scoured the planet looking for the greatest general who ever lived. When the man was informed that the person he sought had already died and gone to heaven, he made a trip to the Pearly Gates to look for him. Saint Peter pointed at a regular-looking Joe. "That isn't the greatest of all generals," protested the man. "I knew that person when he lived on Earth, and he was only a cobbler." "I know th..
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Susan Cain |
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7d887e8
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The evangelical culture ties together faithfulness with extroversion," McHugh explained. "The emphasis is on community, on participating in more and more programs and events, on meeting more and more people. It's a constant tension for many introverts that they're not living that out. And in a religious world, there's more at stake when you feel that tension. It doesn't feel like 'I'm not doing as well as I'd like.' It feels like 'God isn't..
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Susan Cain |
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d376f6e
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The authors whose books get published - once accepted as a reclusive breed - are now vetted by publicists to make sure they're talk-show ready.
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Susan Cain |
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a5699f5
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Now that you're an adult, you might still feel a pang of guilt when you decline a dinner invitation in favor of a good book. Or maybe you like to eat alone in restaurants and could do without the pitying looks from fellow diners.
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Susan Cain |
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02d8bb3
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Introverts tend to assume leadership positions within groups when they really have something to contribute....they listen carefully to the ideas of the people they lead. All of this gives them a big advantage over leaders who rise to the top simply because they're comfortable talking a lot or being in control.
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Susan Cain |
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306aee1
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That was what collaboration meant for Steve Woz: the ability to share a donut and a brainwave with his laid-back, nonjudgmental, poorly dressed colleagues--who minded not a whit when he disappeared into his cubicle to get the real work done.
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Susan Cain |
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e42e7fc
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the results have consistently suggested that introversion and extroversion, like other major personality traits such as agreeableness and conscientiousness, are about 40 to 50 percent heritable.
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Susan Cain |
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e43c5d8
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Enjoyment appears at the boundary between boredom and anxiety, when the challenges are just balanced with the person's capacity to act. --MIHALY CSIKSZENTMIHALYI
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Susan Cain |
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ac392bf
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I worry that there are people who are put in positions of authority because they're good talkers, but they don't have good ideas," he said. "It's so easy to confuse schmoozing ability with talent."
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Susan Cain |
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106ef85
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That was exactly what happened--the conformists showed less brain activity in the frontal, decision-making regions and more in the areas of the brain associated with perception. Peer pressure, in other words, is not only unpleasant, but can actually change your view of a problem.
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Susan Cain |
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41183de
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If you're an introvert, find your flow by using your gifts. You have the power of persistence, the tenacity to solve complex problems, and the clear-sightedness to avoid pitfalls that trip others up. You enjoy relative freedom from the temptations of superficial prizes like money and status. Indeed, your biggest challenge may be to fully harness your strengths. You may be so busy trying to appear like a zestful, reward-sensitive extrovert t..
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Susan Cain |
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ee8b38d
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Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man's world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are.
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Susan Cain |
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7bf44fd
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Why shouldn't quiet be strong?
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Susan Cain |
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60afddd
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This teacher was kind and well-intentioned, but I wonder whether students like the young safety officer would be better off if we appreciated that not everyone to be a leader in the conventional sense of the word--that some people wish to fit harmoniously into the group, and others to be independent of it.
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independence
leadership
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Susan Cain |
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cc828f5
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If you're a teacher, enjoy your gregarious and participatory students. But don't forget to cultivate the shy, the gentle, the autonomous, the ones with single-minded enthusiasms for chemistry sets or parrot taxonomy or nineteenth-century art. They are the artists, engineers, and thinkers of tomorrow.
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Susan Cain |
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118e148
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It's about the call of his conscience. "It's about the survival of the planet," he says. "Nobody is going to care who won or lost any election when the earth is uninhabitable." If you're a sensitive sort, then you may be in the habit of pretending to be more of a politician and less cautious or single-mindedly focused than you actually are. But in this chapter I'm asking you to rethink this view. Without people like you, we will, quite lite..
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Susan Cain |
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225b23c
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At the Foley Center for the Study of Lives at Northwestern University, McAdams studies the stories that people tell about themselves. We all write our life stories as if we were novelists, McAdams believes, with beginnings, conflicts, turning points, and endings. And the way we characterize our past setbacks profoundly influences how satisfied we are with our current lives. Unhappy people tend to see setbacks as contaminants that ruined an ..
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Susan Cain |
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f7a7697
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Soft power is quiet persistence.
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graciousness
humility
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Susan Cain |
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3fde374
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Highly sensitive people tend to be keen observers who look before they leap. They arrange their lives in ways that limit surprises. They're often sensitive to sights, sounds, smells, pain, coffee. They have difficulty when being observed (at work, say, or performing at a music recital) or judged for general worthiness (dating, job interviews). But there are new insights. The highly sensitive tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their or..
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Susan Cain |
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ae12aad
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the orchid hypothesis" by David Dobbs in a wonderful article in The Atlantic. This theory holds that many children are like dandelions, able to thrive in just about any environment. But others, including the high-reactive types that Kagan studied, are more like orchids: they wilt easily, but under the right conditions can grow strong and magnificent."
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Susan Cain |
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d6cbdb3
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it takes approximately ten thousand hours of Deliberate Practice to gain true expertise,
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Susan Cain |
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a93e96c
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A species in which everyone was General Patton would not succeed, any more than would a race in which everyone was Vincent van Gogh. I prefer to think that the planet needs athletes, philosophers, sex symbols, painters, scientists; it needs the warmhearted, the hardhearted, the coldhearted, and the weakhearted. It needs those who can devote their lives to studying how many droplets of water are secreted by the salivary glands of dogs under ..
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Susan Cain |
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16fcaaf
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Studies have shown that performance gets worse as group size increases: groups of nine generate fewer and poorer ideas compared to groups of six, which do worse than groups of four. The "evidence from science suggests that business people must be insane to use brainstorming groups," writes the organizational psychologist Adrian Furnham. "If you have talented and motivated people, they should be encouraged to work alone when creativity or ef..
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Susan Cain |
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1563590
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No!" Kagan exclaims. "Every behavior has more than one cause. Don't ever forget that! For every child who's slow to warm up, yes, there will be statistically more high-reactives, but you can be slow to warm up because of how you spent the first three and a half years of your life! When writers and journalists talk, they want to see a one-to-one relationship--one behavior, one cause. But it's really important that you see, for behaviors like..
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Susan Cain |
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5b49a3f
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The word personality didn't exist in English until the eighteenth century, and the idea of "having a good personality" was not widespread until the twentieth."
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Susan Cain |
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004c61d
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Indeed, excessive stimulation seems to impede learning: a recent study found that people learn better after a quiet stroll through the woods than after a noisy walk down a city street. Another study, of 38,000 knowledge workers across different sectors, found that the simple act of being interrupted is one of the biggest barriers to productivity. Even multitasking, that prized feat of modern-day office warriors, turns out to be a myth. Scie..
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Susan Cain |
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a3019d6
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I have naturally formed the habit of restraining my thoughts. A thoughtless word hardly ever escaped my tongue or pen. Experience has taught me that silence is part of the spiritual discipline of a votary of truth. We find so many people impatient to talk. All this talking can hardly be said to be of any benefit to the world. It is so much waste of time. My shyness has been in reality my shield and buckler. It has allowed me to grow. It has..
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Susan Cain |
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80a5edb
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It was only when God paired him up with his extroverted brother Aaron that Moses agreed to take on the assignment. Moses would be the speechwriter, the behind-the-scenes guy, the Cyrano de Bergerac; Aaron would be the public face of the operation. "It will be as if he were your mouth," said God, "and as if you were God to him."
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Susan Cain |
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5f54fb0
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If a high-reactive toddler breaks another child's toy by mistake, studies show, she often experiences a more intense mix of guilt and sorrow than a lower-reactive child would. ...but high-reactive kids seem to see and feel things more.
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Susan Cain |
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1427dff
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When your conscientiousness impels you to take on more than you can handle, you begin to lose interest, even in tasks that normally engage you. You risk your physical health. 'Emotional labor,' which is the effort we make to control and change our own emotions, is associated with stress, burnout, and even physical symptoms like and increase in cardiovascular disease.
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stress
emotional-labor
introvert
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Susan Cain |
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860fec5
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We consume indie music and films, and generate our own online content. We "think different" (even if we got the idea from Apple Computer's famous ad campaign)."
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Susan Cain |
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3d3d34b
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They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.
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Susan Cain |
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aa6019d
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Keep in mind the words of Sir Winston Churchill: 'Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
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Susan Cain |
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cfe54d5
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I want to change the world in my own way. So I do stuff that's artificial. I don't really like being the guest at someone else's party, because then I have to be entertaining. But I'll host parties because it puts you at the center of things without actually being a social person.
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Susan Cain |
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f3354a1
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Nobody is going to care who won or lost any election when the earth is uninhabitable." - Al Gore"
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Susan Cain |
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a296fef
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Nobody is going to care who won or lost any election when the earth is uninhabitable." - Al Gore" --
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Susan Cain |
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71d1d97
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If you enjoy depth, don't force yourself to seek breadth.
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Susan Cain |
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dd4ba2b
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Some animals carry their shelter wherever they go. Some humans are just the same.
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introversion
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Susan Cain |
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0eba5cd
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Deliberate Practice, which he has identified as the key to exceptional achievement. When you practice deliberately, you identify the tasks or knowledge that are just out of your reach, strive to upgrade your performance, monitor your progress, and revise accordingly. Practice sessions that fall short of this standard are not only less useful-- they're counterproductive. They reinforce existing cognitive mechanisms instead of improving them.
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Susan Cain |
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1fc4c8a
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It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themselves. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal--the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We..
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Susan Cain |
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283bbc3
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As Jung felicitously put it, "There is no such thing as a pure extrovert or a pure introvert. Such a man would be in the lunatic asylum."
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Susan Cain |
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c589804
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Anyone can be a great negotiator, I told them, and in fact it often pays to be quiet and gracious, to listen more than talk, and to have an instinct for harmony rather than conflict. With this style, you can take aggressive positions without inflaming your counterpart's ego. And by listening, you can learn what's truly motivating the person you're negotiating with and come up with creative solutions that satisfy both parties.
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Susan Cain |