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8960f8c
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"Why? You want to know why? Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they are tight. Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all, "a disappointment." Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don't want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and drink and cut because you need the anesthetic and it works. For a while. But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then it's too late because you are mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you can't stop. Look in a mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you. "Why?" is the wrong question. Ask "Why not?"
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eating-disorder
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Laurie Halse Anderson |
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7701a27
|
Soon madness has worn you down. It's easier to do what it says than argue. In this way, it takes over your mind. You no longer know where it ends and you begin. You believe anything it says. You do what it tells you, no matter how extreme or absurd. If it says you're worthless, you agree. You plead for it to stop. You promise to behave. You are on your knees before it, and it laughs.
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madness
surrender
worthless
eating-disorder
voice
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Marya Hornbacher |
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2220768
|
I have a remarkable ability to delete all better judgement from my brain when I get my head set on something. I have no sense of moderation, no sense of caution. I have no sense pretty much.
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|
memoir
marya-hornbacher
wasted
eating-disorder
bulimia
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Marya Hornbacher |
|
ea774b4
|
"I was a very lonely child and it's funny but the first word that comes to my head is "starved". I felt starved of affection, starved of love and I felt that it wasn't OK to ask for it. Maybe there was a sense that if I deserved it, it would be there. There must be something I'd done which meant I didn't deserve it." --
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unmet-needs
emotional-neglect
lack-of-love
self-blame
starving
unloved
starved
eating-disorder
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Carol Lee |
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ad497ac
|
At the lip of a cliff, I look out over Lake Superior, through the bare branches of birches and the snow-covered branches of aspens and pines. A hard wind blows snow up out of a cavern and over my face. I know this place, I know its seasons - I have hiked these mountains in the summer and walked these winding pathways in the explosion of colour that is a northern fall. And now, the temperature drops well below zero and the deadly cold lake rages below, I feel the stirrings of faith that here, in this place, in my heart, spring will come again. But first the winter must be waited out. And that waiting has worth.
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spirituality
alcoholic
anorexia
eating-disorder
bulimia
recovery
mental-illness
|
Marya Hornbacher |
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16c5b99
|
There are a lot of times the heart burrows deeper, goes tunnelling into itself for reasons only the heart itself seems to know.They are times of isolation, of hibernation, sometimes of desolation. There is a bareness that spreads out over the interior landscape of the self, a bareness like tundra, with no sign of life in any direction, no sign of anything beneath the frozen crust of ground, no sign that spring ever intends to come again.
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|
spirituality
religion
god
eating-disorder
recovery
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Marya Hornbacher |
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798e95d
|
Deception' is the word I most associate with anorexia and the treachery which comes from falsehood. The illness appears inviting. It would seem to offer something to those unwary or unlucky enough to suffer from it - friendship, a get-out, or a haven - when, in fact, it is a trap.
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|
illness
escape
false-friend
haveb
anorexia-nervosa
falsehood
treachery
deception
trap
self-deception
anorexia
eating-disorder
mental-illness
|
Carol Lee |
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38a67a4
|
Connect with supportive people who empower you. The more you jump into your life, the further away from Ed you can get. Don't have a backup plan for living. Live today. [...] Trust in God. Believe in yourself. Get friends and family members to stand behind you. That's the only backup you'll need.
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inspiration
hope
ed
eating-disorder
recovery
|
Jenni Schaefer |
|
f2dbbae
|
her eyes are unfathomable to me, hostile, even, as if she had removed herself to a place where I cannot reach her - somewhere I cannot know.
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emotional-barriers
emotional-disengagement
miles-away
emotional-distance
emotional-pain
eating-disorder
mental-illness
|
Carol Lee |
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af1b5bd
|
When times are bad, people feel compelled to overeat.
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overeating
eating
eating-disorder
eat
|
Don DeLillo |
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27272f1
|
Locking away appetite, anger, the fullness of life, anorexia helps cover up whatever struggles inside. With its controlling bouts of bingeing and starvation, of trance and half-life, it becomes a shield to fend off despair and longing and what most of use would see as ordinary responsible behavior.
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binge-eating
unhealthy-coping
eating-disorder
mental-illness
|
Carol Lee |
|
dfaed6e
|
The reasons for Emma's illness and for her decision to allow life in, rather than die, are intertwined and involve the beginnings of her feelings of belonging, of safety and of competence to be in the world.
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eating-disorder-causes
eating-disorder-recovery
eating-disorder
mental-illness
|
Carol Lee |
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0b288bc
|
"Emma cites the structure of the [Eating Disorder] Unit as being important to her decision to disengage from her illness, and the fact that she felt safe in it, and cared for. 'It was the first time I'd been in an environment where I felt comfortabe with all the people around me. I felt "I can be here and I can talk to anybody" and that was something that had been missing from my life'."
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|
anorexia-recovery
bulimia-recovery
eating-disorder-causes
feeling-safe
psychiatric-hospitals
psychiatric-unit
mental-hospital
eating-disorder
bulimia
|
Carol Lee |