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a77ab7e ...my father, [was] a mid-level phonecompany manager who treated my mother at best like an incompetent employee. At worst? He never beat her, but his pure, inarticulate fury would fill the house for days, weeks, at a time, making the air humid, hard to breathe, my father stalking around with his lower jaw jutting out, giving him the look of a wounded, vengeful boxer, grinding his teeth so loud you could hear it across the room ... I'm sure he told himself: 'I never hit her'. I'm sure because of this technicality he never saw himself as an abuser. But he turned our family life into an endless road trip with bad directions and a rage-clenched driver, a vacation that never got a chance to be fun. rage silence family heartbreak love abusive-parents mental-abuse abusive broken-home heartbroken love-lost fights divorce childhood-memories malice emotional-abuse anger communication fighting parents parents-and-children mother fury fight father childhood terror parenthood scared sexism Gillian Flynn
d85bf4a But as the years passed, he missed her more, not less, and his need for her became a cut that would not scar over, would not stop leaking. grief loss sadness love lonesome missing-her mournography no-going-back love-lost heartache missing-someone miss Dennis Lehane
97f44f6 I think maybe, when I was very young, I witnessed a chaste cheek kiss between the two when it was impossible to avoid. Christmas, birthdays. Dry lips. On their best married days, their communications were entirely transactional: 'We're out of milk again.' (I'll get some today.) 'I need this ironed properly.' (I'll do that today.) 'How hard is it to buy milk?' (Silence.) 'You forgot to call the plumber.' (Sigh.) 'Goddammit, put on your coat, right now, and go out and get some goddamn milk. Now.' These messages and orders brought to you by my father, a mid-level phonecompany manager who treated my mother at best like an incompetent employee. silence depression relationship family heartbreak love abusive-relationship bad-parenting abusive broken-home love-lost fights divorce childhood-memories abusive-relationships communication fighting parents parents-and-children mother fight father childhood parenthood sexism Gillian Flynn
229b937 "The cloudless day is richer at its close; A golden glory settles on the lea; Soft, stealing shadows hint of cool repose To mellowing landscape, and to calming sea. And in that nobler, gentler, lovelier light, The soul to sweeter, loftier bliss inclines; Freed form the noonday glare, the favour'd sight Increasing grace in earth and sky divines. But ere the purest radiance crowns the green, Or fairest lustre fills th' expectant grove, nature romance sadness love love-lost lustre pantheism forest melancholy sky twilight reminiscence memory H. P. Lovecraft