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339ddbc When you care more if someone else lives than you do about yourself- is that what [love is]? self-abnegation Jodi Picoult
345669d Every November of my boyhood, we put on red poppies and attended highly patriotic services in remembrance of those who had 'given' their lives. But on what assurance did we know that these gifts had really been made? Only the survivors--the living--could attest to it. In order to know that a person had truly laid down his life for his friends, or comrades, one would have to hear it from his own lips, or at least have heard it promised in advance. And that presented another difficulty. Many brave and now dead soldiers had nonetheless been conscripts. The known martyrs--those who actually, voluntarily sought death and rejoiced in the fact--had been the kamikaze pilots, immolating themselves to propitiate a 'divine' emperor who looked (as Orwell once phrased it) like a monkey on a stick. Their Christian predecessors had endured torture and death (as well as inflicted it) in order to set up a theocracy. Their modern equivalents would be the suicide murderers, who mostly have the same aim in mind. About people who set out to lose their lives, then, there seems to hang an air of fanaticism: a gigantic sense of self-importance unattractively fused with a masochistic tendency to self-abnegation. Not wholesome. The better and more realistic test would therefore seem to be: In what cause, or on what principle, would you your life? suicide war christianity friends sacrifice death religion christian-martyrs conscription kamikaze memorials poppies self-abnegation suicide-attack martyrs masochism orwell november comrades soldiers theocracy ugliness causes martyrdom self-importance patriotism principles fanaticism childhood torture Christopher Hitchens
f2e0593 [In 16th century European society] Marriage was the triumphal arch through which women, almost without exception, had to pass in order to reach the public eye. And after marriage followed, in theory, the total self-abnegation of the woman. marriage men feminism women-s-rights history self-determination independence women empowerment wedlock subjugation self-abnegation married-life matrimony social-norms misogyny perception inequality gender Antonia Fraser