social-norms

Link	Quote	Tags	Author
3459977	I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.	double-standards empowerment equality feminism flattery gender hypocrisy independence men misogyny rationality reason self-determination social-norms stereotypes strength women women-s-rights	Jane Austen
d87db97	As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking.	dignity double-standards empowerment feminism gender hypocrisy intelligence men misogyny self-determination social-norms stereotypes thought women	Virginia Woolf
5c6ebba	"I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men." "Perhaps I shall. Yes, yes, if you please, no reference to examples in books. Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything." --	clichés constancy double-standards education feminism gender inequality love men misogyny opportunities social-norms stereotypes women	Jane Austen
111fa2e	When, however, one reads of a witch being ducked, of a woman possessed by devils, of a wise woman selling herbs, or even of a very remarkable man who had a mother, then I think we are on the track of a lost novelist, a suppressed poet, of some mute and inglorious Jane Austen, some Emily Bronte who dashed her brains out on the moor or mopped and mowed about the highways crazed with the torture that her gift had put her to. Indeed, I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.	dignity empowerment feminism gender history misogyny persecution social-norms suppression witches women women-writers writing	Virginia Woolf
eb8cfe2	Anything may happen when womanhood has ceased to be a protected occupation.	dignity double-standards empowerment feminism gender hypocrisy inequality misogyny morality protectiveness social-norms stereotypes womanhood women	Virginia Woolf
1b4a9e4	"Wine and women make wise men dote and forsake God's law and do wrong." However, the fault is not in the wine, and often not in the woman. The fault is in the one who misuses the wine or the woman or other of God's crations. Even if you get drunk on the wine and through this greed you lapse into lechery, the wine is not to blame but you are, in being unable or unwilling to discipline yourself. And even if you look at a woman and become caught up in her beauty and assent to sin [= adultery; extramarital sex], the woman is not to blame nor is the beauty given her by God to be disparaged: rather, you are to blame for not keeping your heart more clear of wicked thoughts. ... If you feel yourself tempted by the sight of a woman, control your gaze better ... You are free to leave her. Nothing constrains you to commit lechery but your own lecherous heart."	beauty clichés double-standards drunkenness gender greed hypocrisy immorality lust men misogyny sexuality social-norms stereotypes temptation wine women	Anonymous
2b38ece	Your god, sir, is the World. In my eyes, you, too, if not an infidel, are an idolater. I conceive that you ignorantly worship: in all things you appear to me too superstitious. Sir, your god, your great Bel, your fish-tailed Dagon, rises before me as a demon. You, and such as you, have raised him to a throne, put on him a crown, given him a sceptre. Behold how hideously he governs! See him busied at the work he likes best -- making marriages. He binds the young to the old, the strong to the imbecile. He stretches out the arm of Mezentius and fetters the dead to the living. In his realm there is hatred -- secret hatred: there is disgust -- unspoken disgust: there is treachery -- family treachery: there is vice -- deep, deadly, domestic vice. In his dominions, children grow unloving between parents who have never loved: infants are nursed on deception from their very birth: they are reared in an atmosphere corrupt with lies ... All that surrounds him hastens to decay: all declines and degenerates under his sceptre. god is a masked Death.	contempt death decay demons discord disgust disharmony disparity domestic-life expectations false-belief families family-relationships force hatred hypocrisy idolatry injustice lovelessness marriage married-life matrimony preconceptions scorn social-norms society unfreedom unhappiness vice women worldliness	Charlotte Brontë
3b5cdcb	I am anchored on a resolve you cannot shake. My heart, my conscience shall dispose of my hand -- . Know this at last.	conscience courtship dignity empowerment feminism gender independence integrity love marriage matrimony self-determination social-norms women wooing	Charlotte Brontë
489a9c1	She sang, as requested. There was much about love in the ballad: faithful love that refused to abandon its object; love that disaster could not shake; love that, in calamity, waxed fonder, in poverty clung closer. The words were set to a fine old air -- in themselves they were simple and sweet: perhaps, when read, they wanted force; when sung, they wanted nothing. Shirley sang them well: she breathed into the feeling, softness, she poured round the passion, force: her voice was fine that evening; its expression dramatic: she impressed all, and charmed one. On leaving the instrument, she went to the fire, and sat down on a seat -- semi-stool, semi-cushion: the ladies were round her -- none of them spoke. The Misses Sympson and the Misses Nunnely looked upon her, as quiet poultry might look on an egret, an ibis, or any other strange fowl. What made her sing so? never sang so. Was it proper to sing with such expression, with such originality -- so unlike a school girl? Decidedly not: it was strange, it was unusual. What was must be ; what was must be . Shirley was judged.	empathy expectations expression faithfulness feeling fidelity gender gift hypocrisy jealousy judgment love morality music musicality passion preconceptions prejudice propriety rejection singing social-norms society talent understanding women	Charlotte Brontë
2428b8f	"No: I shall not marry Samuel Fawthrop Wynne." "I ask why? I must have a reason. In all respects he is more than worthy of you." She stood on the hearth; she was pale as the white marble slab and cornice behind her; her eyes flashed large, dilated, unsmiling. "And ask in what sense that young man is worthy of ?"	courtship dignity empowerment equality feminism gender independence inferiority integrity marriage marriage-proposal matrimony men self-awareness self-determination social-norms suitability women wooing worthiness	Charlotte Brontë
4d91af8	God bids you not to commit lechery, that is, not to have sex with any woman except your wife. You ask of that she should not have sex with anyone except you -- yet you are not willing to observe the same restraint in return. Where you ought to be ahead of your wife in virtue, you collapse under the onset of lechery. ... Complaints are always being made about men's lechery, yet wives do not dare to find fault with their husbands for it. Male lechery is so brazen and so habitual that it is now sanctioned [= permitted], to the extent that men tell their wives that lechery and adultery are legitimate for men but not for women.	clichés double-standards fidelity gender hypocrisy marriage men misogyny morality sexuality social-norms stereotypes wives women	Augustine of Hippo
af1d004	Chastity ... has, even now, a religious importance in a woman's life, and has so wrapped itself round with nerves and instincts that to cut it free and bring it to the light of day demands courage of the rarest.	dignity double-standards empowerment encroachment feminism gender hypocrisy liberty misogyny morality self-determination sexuality social-norms suppression women	Virginia Woolf
d0ecf42	I told you in the course of this paper that Shakespeare had a sister; but do not look for her in 's of the poet. She died young--alas, she never wrote a word. She lies buried where the omnibuses now stop, opposite the Elephant and Castle. Now my belief is that this poet who never wrote a word and was buried at the crossroads still lives. She lives in you and in me, and in many other women who are not here tonight, for they are washing up the dishes and putting the children to bed. But she lives; for great poets do not die; they are continuing presences; they need only the opportunity to walk among us in the flesh.	dignity dreams empowerment equality feminism fiction gender opportunities poetry self-determination social-norms women women-writers	Virginia Woolf
f2e0593	[In 16th century European society] Marriage was the triumphal arch through which women, almost without exception, had to pass in order to reach the public eye. And after marriage followed, in theory, the total self-abnegation of the woman.	empowerment feminism gender history independence inequality marriage married-life matrimony men misogyny perception self-abnegation self-determination social-norms subjugation wedlock women women-s-rights	Antonia Fraser
69fcb91	It was a fact generally acknowledged by all but the most contumacious spirits at the beginning of the seventeenth century that woman was the weaker vessel; weaker than man, that is. ... That was the way God had arranged Creation, sanctified in the words of the Apostle. ... Under the common law of England at the accession of King James I, no female had any rights at all (if some were allowed by custom). As an unmarried woman her rights were swallowed up in her father's, and she was his to dispose of in marriage at will. Once she was married her property became absolutely that of her husband. What of those who did not marry? Common law met that problem blandly by not recognizing it. In the words of [the leading 17th century compendium on women's legal status]: 'All of them are understood either married or to be married.' In 1603 England, in short, still lived in a world governed by feudal law, where a wife passed from the guardianship of her father to her husband; her husband also stood in relation to her as a feudal lord.	common-law empowerment fathers feminism feudalism gender guardianship history husbands independence inequality marriage married-life matrimony men misogyny property self-determination social-norms subjugation wedlock women women-s-rights	Antonia Fraser
33b657a	By heavens! there is something after all in the world allowing one man to steal a horse while another must not look at a halter. Steal a horse straight out. Very well. He has done it. Perhaps he can ride. But there is a way of looking at a halter that would provoke the most charitable of saints into a kick.	humanity philosophy social-norms	Joseph Conrad
d314045	Society never made the preposterous demand that a man should think as much about his own qualifications for making a charming girl happy as he thinks of hers for making himself happy. As if a man could choose not only his wife but his wife's husband!	humor social-norms	George Eliot
4e4d996	The more serious about gardening I became, the more dubious lawns seemed. The problem for me was not, as it was for my father, the relation to my neighbors that a lawn implied; it was the lawn's relationship to nature. For however democratic a lawn may be with respect to one's neighbors, with respect to nature it is authoritarian. Under the mower's brutal indiscriminate rotor, the landscape is subdued, homogenized, dominated utterly. I became convinced that lawn care had about as much to do with gardening as floor waxing, or road paving. Gardening was a subtle process of give and take with the landscape, a search for some middle ground between culture and nature. A lawn was nature under culture's boot. Mowing the lawn, I felt like I was battling the earth rather than working it; each week it sent forth a green army and each week I beat it back with my infernal machine. Unlike every other plant in my garden, the grasses were anonymous, massified, deprived of any change or development whatsoever, not to mention any semblance of self-determination. I ruled a totalitarian landscape. Hot monotonous hours behind the mower gave rise to existential speculations. I spent part of one afternoon trying to decide who, in the absurdist drama of lawn mowing, was Sisyphus. Me? A case could certainly be made. Or was it the grass, pushing up through the soil every week, one layer of cells at a time, only to be cut down and then, perversely, encouraged (with fertilizer, lime, etc.) to start the whole doomed process over again? Another day it occurred to me that time as we know it doesn't exist in the lawn, since grass never dies or is allowed to flower and set seed. Lawns are nature purged of sex and death. No wonder Americans like them so much.	gardening lawn-mowing lawns nature social-norms sustainability	Michael Pollan

3459977

I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies instead of rational creatures. None of us want to be in calm waters all our lives.

double-standards empowerment equality feminism flattery gender hypocrisy independence men misogyny rationality reason self-determination social-norms stereotypes strength women women-s-rights

Jane Austen

d87db97

As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking.

dignity double-standards empowerment feminism gender hypocrisy intelligence men misogyny self-determination social-norms stereotypes thought women

Virginia Woolf

5c6ebba

"I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men." "Perhaps I shall. Yes, yes, if you please, no reference to examples in books. Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything." --

clichés constancy double-standards education feminism gender inequality love men misogyny opportunities social-norms stereotypes women

Jane Austen

111fa2e

When, however, one reads of a witch being ducked, of a woman possessed by devils, of a wise woman selling herbs, or even of a very remarkable man who had a mother, then I think we are on the track of a lost novelist, a suppressed poet, of some mute and inglorious Jane Austen, some Emily Bronte who dashed her brains out on the moor or mopped and mowed about the highways crazed with the torture that her gift had put her to. Indeed, I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without signing them, was often a woman.

dignity empowerment feminism gender history misogyny persecution social-norms suppression witches women women-writers writing

Virginia Woolf

eb8cfe2

Anything may happen when womanhood has ceased to be a protected occupation.

dignity double-standards empowerment feminism gender hypocrisy inequality misogyny morality protectiveness social-norms stereotypes womanhood women

Virginia Woolf

1b4a9e4

"Wine and women make wise men dote and forsake God's law and do wrong." However, the fault is not in the wine, and often not in the woman. The fault is in the one who misuses the wine or the woman or other of God's crations. Even if you get drunk on the wine and through this greed you lapse into lechery, the wine is not to blame but you are, in being unable or unwilling to discipline yourself. And even if you look at a woman and become caught up in her beauty and assent to sin [= adultery; extramarital sex], the woman is not to blame nor is the beauty given her by God to be disparaged: rather, you are to blame for not keeping your heart more clear of wicked thoughts. ... If you feel yourself tempted by the sight of a woman, control your gaze better ... You are free to leave her. Nothing constrains you to commit lechery but your own lecherous heart."

beauty clichés double-standards drunkenness gender greed hypocrisy immorality lust men misogyny sexuality social-norms stereotypes temptation wine women

Anonymous

2b38ece

Your god, sir, is the World. In my eyes, you, too, if not an infidel, are an idolater. I conceive that you ignorantly worship: in all things you appear to me too superstitious. Sir, your god, your great Bel, your fish-tailed Dagon, rises before me as a demon. You, and such as you, have raised him to a throne, put on him a crown, given him a sceptre. Behold how hideously he governs! See him busied at the work he likes best -- making marriages. He binds the young to the old, the strong to the imbecile. He stretches out the arm of Mezentius and fetters the dead to the living. In his realm there is hatred -- secret hatred: there is disgust -- unspoken disgust: there is treachery -- family treachery: there is vice -- deep, deadly, domestic vice. In his dominions, children grow unloving between parents who have never loved: infants are nursed on deception from their very birth: they are reared in an atmosphere corrupt with lies ... All that surrounds him hastens to decay: all declines and degenerates under his sceptre. god is a masked Death.

contempt death decay demons discord disgust disharmony disparity domestic-life expectations false-belief families family-relationships force hatred hypocrisy idolatry injustice lovelessness marriage married-life matrimony preconceptions scorn social-norms society unfreedom unhappiness vice women worldliness

Charlotte Brontë

3b5cdcb

I am anchored on a resolve you cannot shake. My heart, my conscience shall dispose of my hand -- . Know this at last.

conscience courtship dignity empowerment feminism gender independence integrity love marriage matrimony self-determination social-norms women wooing

Charlotte Brontë

489a9c1

She sang, as requested. There was much about love in the ballad: faithful love that refused to abandon its object; love that disaster could not shake; love that, in calamity, waxed fonder, in poverty clung closer. The words were set to a fine old air -- in themselves they were simple and sweet: perhaps, when read, they wanted force; when sung, they wanted nothing. Shirley sang them well: she breathed into the feeling, softness, she poured round the passion, force: her voice was fine that evening; its expression dramatic: she impressed all, and charmed one. On leaving the instrument, she went to the fire, and sat down on a seat -- semi-stool, semi-cushion: the ladies were round her -- none of them spoke. The Misses Sympson and the Misses Nunnely looked upon her, as quiet poultry might look on an egret, an ibis, or any other strange fowl. What made her sing so? never sang so. Was it proper to sing with such expression, with such originality -- so unlike a school girl? Decidedly not: it was strange, it was unusual. What was must be ; what was must be . Shirley was judged.

empathy expectations expression faithfulness feeling fidelity gender gift hypocrisy jealousy judgment love morality music musicality passion preconceptions prejudice propriety rejection singing social-norms society talent understanding women

Charlotte Brontë

2428b8f

"No: I shall not marry Samuel Fawthrop Wynne." "I ask why? I must have a reason. In all respects he is more than worthy of you." She stood on the hearth; she was pale as the white marble slab and cornice behind her; her eyes flashed large, dilated, unsmiling. "And ask in what sense that young man is worthy of ?"

courtship dignity empowerment equality feminism gender independence inferiority integrity marriage marriage-proposal matrimony men self-awareness self-determination social-norms suitability women wooing worthiness

Charlotte Brontë

4d91af8

God bids you not to commit lechery, that is, not to have sex with any woman except your wife. You ask of that she should not have sex with anyone except you -- yet you are not willing to observe the same restraint in return. Where you ought to be ahead of your wife in virtue, you collapse under the onset of lechery. ... Complaints are always being made about men's lechery, yet wives do not dare to find fault with their husbands for it. Male lechery is so brazen and so habitual that it is now sanctioned [= permitted], to the extent that men tell their wives that lechery and adultery are legitimate for men but not for women.

clichés double-standards fidelity gender hypocrisy marriage men misogyny morality sexuality social-norms stereotypes wives women

Augustine of Hippo

af1d004

Chastity ... has, even now, a religious importance in a woman's life, and has so wrapped itself round with nerves and instincts that to cut it free and bring it to the light of day demands courage of the rarest.

dignity double-standards empowerment encroachment feminism gender hypocrisy liberty misogyny morality self-determination sexuality social-norms suppression women

Virginia Woolf

d0ecf42

I told you in the course of this paper that Shakespeare had a sister; but do not look for her in 's of the poet. She died young--alas, she never wrote a word. She lies buried where the omnibuses now stop, opposite the Elephant and Castle. Now my belief is that this poet who never wrote a word and was buried at the crossroads still lives. She lives in you and in me, and in many other women who are not here tonight, for they are washing up the dishes and putting the children to bed. But she lives; for great poets do not die; they are continuing presences; they need only the opportunity to walk among us in the flesh.

dignity dreams empowerment equality feminism fiction gender opportunities poetry self-determination social-norms women women-writers

Virginia Woolf

f2e0593

[In 16th century European society] Marriage was the triumphal arch through which women, almost without exception, had to pass in order to reach the public eye. And after marriage followed, in theory, the total self-abnegation of the woman.

empowerment feminism gender history independence inequality marriage married-life matrimony men misogyny perception self-abnegation self-determination social-norms subjugation wedlock women women-s-rights

Antonia Fraser

69fcb91

It was a fact generally acknowledged by all but the most contumacious spirits at the beginning of the seventeenth century that woman was the weaker vessel; weaker than man, that is. ... That was the way God had arranged Creation, sanctified in the words of the Apostle. ... Under the common law of England at the accession of King James I, no female had any rights at all (if some were allowed by custom). As an unmarried woman her rights were swallowed up in her father's, and she was his to dispose of in marriage at will. Once she was married her property became absolutely that of her husband. What of those who did not marry? Common law met that problem blandly by not recognizing it. In the words of [the leading 17th century compendium on women's legal status]: 'All of them are understood either married or to be married.' In 1603 England, in short, still lived in a world governed by feudal law, where a wife passed from the guardianship of her father to her husband; her husband also stood in relation to her as a feudal lord.

common-law empowerment fathers feminism feudalism gender guardianship history husbands independence inequality marriage married-life matrimony men misogyny property self-determination social-norms subjugation wedlock women women-s-rights

Antonia Fraser

33b657a

By heavens! there is something after all in the world allowing one man to steal a horse while another must not look at a halter. Steal a horse straight out. Very well. He has done it. Perhaps he can ride. But there is a way of looking at a halter that would provoke the most charitable of saints into a kick.

humanity philosophy social-norms

Joseph Conrad

d314045

Society never made the preposterous demand that a man should think as much about his own qualifications for making a charming girl happy as he thinks of hers for making himself happy. As if a man could choose not only his wife but his wife's husband!

humor social-norms

George Eliot

4e4d996

The more serious about gardening I became, the more dubious lawns seemed. The problem for me was not, as it was for my father, the relation to my neighbors that a lawn implied; it was the lawn's relationship to nature. For however democratic a lawn may be with respect to one's neighbors, with respect to nature it is authoritarian. Under the mower's brutal indiscriminate rotor, the landscape is subdued, homogenized, dominated utterly. I became convinced that lawn care had about as much to do with gardening as floor waxing, or road paving. Gardening was a subtle process of give and take with the landscape, a search for some middle ground between culture and nature. A lawn was nature under culture's boot. Mowing the lawn, I felt like I was battling the earth rather than working it; each week it sent forth a green army and each week I beat it back with my infernal machine. Unlike every other plant in my garden, the grasses were anonymous, massified, deprived of any change or development whatsoever, not to mention any semblance of self-determination. I ruled a totalitarian landscape. Hot monotonous hours behind the mower gave rise to existential speculations. I spent part of one afternoon trying to decide who, in the absurdist drama of lawn mowing, was Sisyphus. Me? A case could certainly be made. Or was it the grass, pushing up through the soil every week, one layer of cells at a time, only to be cut down and then, perversely, encouraged (with fertilizer, lime, etc.) to start the whole doomed process over again? Another day it occurred to me that time as we know it doesn't exist in the lawn, since grass never dies or is allowed to flower and set seed. Lawns are nature purged of sex and death. No wonder Americans like them so much.

gardening lawn-mowing lawns nature social-norms sustainability

Michael Pollan