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9927baf
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But what we know now is that when we deny our emotion, it owns us. When we own our emotion, we can rebuild and find our way through the pain.
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Brené Brown |
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d10c19c
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The biggest potential for helping us overcome shame is this: We are "those people." The truth is...we are the others. Most of us are one paycheck, one divorce, one drug-addicted kid, one mental health illness, one sexual assault, one drinking binge, one night of unprotected sex, or one affair away from being "those people"-the ones we don't trust, the ones we pity, the ones we don't let our kids play with, the ones bad things happen to, the..
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poverty
addiction
divorce
shame
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Brené Brown |
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363df13
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Dehumanizing and holding people accountable are mutually exclusive. Humiliation and dehumanizing are not accountability or social justice tools, they're emotional off-loading at best, emotional self-indulgence at worst. And if our faith asks us to find the face of God in everyone we meet, that should include the politicians, media, and strangers on Twitter with whom we most violently disagree. When we desecrate their divinity, we desecrate ..
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Brené Brown |
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86c5556
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Shame hates it when we reach out and tell our story. It hates having words wrapped around it- it can't survive being shared. Shame loves secrecy. When we bury our story, the shame metastasizes.
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shame
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Brené Brown |
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6f8ca99
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How can we expect people to put value on our work when we don't value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?
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Brené Brown |
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07e1db8
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MANIFESTO OF THE BRAVE AND BROKENHEARTED There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers Than those of us who are willing to fall Because we have learned how to rise With skinned knees and bruised hearts; We choose owning our stories of struggle, Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending. When we deny our stories, they define us. When we run from struggle, we are never free. So we turn toward truth and look it in the ..
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Brené Brown |
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e0b35bc
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For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is "I didn't get enough sleep." The next one is "I don't have enough time." Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us automatically before we even think to question or examine it. We spend most of the hours and the days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don't have enough of. ...Before we even sit up in bed, before our fe..
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Brené Brown |
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d73c189
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Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are. Choosing authenticity means cultivating the courage to be imperfect, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable; exercising the compassion that comes from knowing that we are all made of strength and struggle; and nurturing the connection and sense of belonging that can only happen when we believe that we are enoug..
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Brené Brown |
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aa66237
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Only when we're brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.
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Brené Brown |
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43d72c4
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Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
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Brené Brown |
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e288cdb
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When I see people stand fully in their truth, or when I see someone fall down, get back up, and say, "Damn. That really hurt, but this is important to me and I'm going in again"--my gut reaction is, "What a badass."
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Brené Brown |
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151fb72
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I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with pain. --JAMES A. BALDWIN
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Brené Brown |
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686a4d5
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You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. --Maya Angelou
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Brené Brown |
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ae471d0
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Living a connected life ultimately is about setting boundaries, spending less time and energy hustling and winning over people who don't matter, and seeing the value of working on cultivating connection with family and close friends.
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Brené Brown |
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412f871
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Perfectionism is not the same thing has striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It's a shield. It's a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it's the thing that's really preventing us from flight.
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perfectionists
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Brené Brown |
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0c78df5
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Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, 'No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.' It's going to bed at night thinking, 'Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
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Brené Brown |
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2e2857b
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Sometimes the most dangerous thing for kids is the silence that allows them to construct their own stories--stories that almost always cast them as alone and unworthy of love and belonging.
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Brené Brown |
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e95aff0
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TEN GUIDEPOSTS FOR WHOLEHEARTED LIVING 1. Cultivating authenticity: letting go of what people think 2. Cultivating self-compassion: letting go of perfectionism 3. Cultivating a resilient spirit: letting go of numbing and powerlessness 4. Cultivating gratitude and joy: letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark 5. Cultivating intuition and trusting faith: letting go of the need for certainty 6. Cultivating creativity: letting go of comparis..
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Brené Brown |
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df80067
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It's always helpful to remember that when perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun.
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Brené Brown |
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0652e1b
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Of all the things trauma takes away from us, the worst is our willingness, or even our ability, to be vulnerable. There's a reclaiming that has to happen.
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Brené Brown |
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616e779
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A lot of cheap seats in the arena are filled with people who never venture onto the floor. They just hurl mean-spirited criticisms and put-downs from a safe distance. The problem is, when we stop caring what people think and stop feeling hurt by cruelty, we lose our ability to connect. But when we're defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. Therefore, we need to be selective about the feedback we let into our live..
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Brené Brown |
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e747215
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Courage is forged in pain, but not in all pain. Pain that is denied or ignored becomes fear or hate.
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Brené Brown |
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58d1133
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research tells us that we judge people in areas where we're vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we're doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people's choices. If I feel good about my body, I don't go around making fun of other people's weight or appearance. We're hard on each other because we're using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived shaming defi..
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judgement
shame
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Brené Brown |
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a3a7204
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Belonging: Belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance..
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Brené Brown |
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3c717e3
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When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.
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Brené Brown |
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88e49b5
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Boundaries--You respect my boundaries, and when you're not clear about what's okay and not okay, you ask. You're willing to say no. Reliability--You do what you say you'll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don't overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities. Accountability--You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends. Vault--You don't share informati..
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Brené Brown |
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61a96f4
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As Rumi says, "We're all just walking each other home."
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Brené Brown |
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6349fd3
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Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.
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Brené Brown |
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4c89ebf
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Joseph Campbell wrote, "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That's why it's your path."
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Brené Brown |
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7e95936
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Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: "People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
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Brené Brown |
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b20593e
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Never underestimate the power of being seen
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Brené Brown |
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5294a1c
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Are you the adult that you want your child to grow up to be?
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Brené Brown |
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ccf253d
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Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do.
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Brené Brown |
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91ec3b6
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UnMarketing: "Don't try to win over the haters; you're not the jackass whisperer."
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Brené Brown |
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701886e
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Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy.
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Brené Brown |
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bbdc7e6
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One of the biggest surprises in this research was learning that fitting in and belonging are not the same thing. In fact, fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.
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Brené Brown |
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ebb1706
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If we can't stand up to the never good enough and who do you think you are? we can't move forward.
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Brené Brown |
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3683b83
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Shame resilience is the ability to say, "This hurts. This is disappointing, maybe even devastating. But success and recognition and approval are not the values that drive me. My value is courage and I was just courageous. You can move on, shame."
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Brené Brown |
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bb24e45
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Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.
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friends
identity
peers
maturity
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Brené Brown |
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341d764
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Choosing to be curious is choosing to be vulnerable because it requires us to surrender to uncertainty.
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Brené Brown |
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56d0446
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After doing this work or the past twelve years and watching scarcity ride roughshod over our families, organizations, and communities, I'd say the one thing we have in common is that we're sick of feeling afraid. we want to dare greatly. We're tired of the national conversation centering on "What should we fear" and "Who should we blame?" We all want to be brave."
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bravery
courage
fear
scarcity
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Brené Brown |
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90f2499
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True belonging doesn't require you to change who you are; it requires you to be who you are.
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Brené Brown |
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4aa5d19
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I define wholehearted living as engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough. It's going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn't change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.
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Brené Brown |
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d527a9a
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Oprah. Her advice is tacked to the wall in my study: "Do not think you can be brave with your life and your work and never disappoint anyone. It doesn't work that way."
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Brené Brown |