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a8a2317
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I know I'm ready to give feedback when: I'm ready to sit next to you rather than across from you; I'm willing to put the problem in front of us rather than between us (or sliding it toward you); I'm ready to listen, ask questions, and accept that I may not fully understand the issue; I want to acknowledge what you do well instead of picking apart your mistakes; I recognize your strengths and how you can use them to address your challenges; ..
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Brené Brown |
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04c2d1a
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If we want to cultivate hopefulness, we have to be willing to be flexible and demonstrate perseverance. Not every goal will look and feel the same. Tolerance for disappointment, determination, and a belief in self are the heart of hope.
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Brené Brown |
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378f65e
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Nothing silences us more effectively than shame.
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Brené Brown |
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23a0083
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Whenever I'm faced with a vulnerable situation, I get deliberate with my intentions by repeating this to myself: "Don't shrink. Don't puff up. stand your sacred ground." Saying this little mantra helps me remember not to get too small so other people are comfortable and not throw up my armor as a way to protect myself."
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Brené Brown |
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04650ae
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Grief seems to create losses within us that reach beyond our awareness-we feel as if we're missing something that was invisible and unknown to us while we had it, but now painfully gone.
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Brené Brown |
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be5e59b
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Being ourselves means sometimes having to find the courage to stand alone, totally alone.
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Brené Brown |
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9a9f731
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Now I can lean into joy, even when it makes me feel tender and vulnerable. In fact, I expect tender and vulnerable. Joy is as thorny and sharp as any of the dark emotions. To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn't come with guarantees--these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. When we lose our tolerance for discomfo..
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Brené Brown |
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04a9c1d
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The power of owning our stories, even the difficult ones, is that we get to write the ending.
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Brené Brown |
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a0d4046
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True belonging has no bunkers. We have to step out from behind the barricades of self-preservation and brave the wild.
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Brené Brown |
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9c456e0
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Again, there's no question that feedback may be one of the most difficult arenas to negotiate in our lives. We should remember, though, that victory is not getting good feedback, avoiding giving difficult feedback, or avoiding the need for feedback. Instead it's taking off the armor, showing up, and engaging.
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Brené Brown |
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8f41276
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The heart of compassion is really acceptance. The better we are at accepting ourselves and others, the more compassionate we become. Well, it's difficult to accept people when they are hurting us or taking advantage of us or walking all over us. This research has taught me that if we really want to practice compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable
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Brené Brown |
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8eb4ed9
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Spiritual connection and engagement is not built on compliance, it's the product of love, belonging, and vulnerability.
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Brené Brown |
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3aab1b7
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Yes, we are totally exposed when we are vulnerable. Yes, we are in the torture chamber that we call uncertainty. And, yes, we're taking a huge emotional risk when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. But there's no equation where taking risks, braving uncertainty, and opening ourselves up to emotional exposure equals weakness.
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Brené Brown |
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73145e2
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If connection is the energy that surges between people, we have to remember that those surges must travel in both directions.
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Brené Brown |
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3889cff
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What behaviors are rewarded? Punished? Where and how are people actually spending their resources (time, money, attention)? What rules and expectations are followed, enforced, and ignored? Do people feel safe and supported talking about how they feel and asking for what they need? What are the sacred cows? Who is most likely to tip them? Who stands the cows back up? What stories are legend and what values do they convey? What happens when s..
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Brené Brown |
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d634b64
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To practice courage, compassion, and connection is to look at life and the people around us, and say, "I'm all in."
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Brené Brown |
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25f62a3
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The refugee in Syria doesn't benefit more if you conserve your kindness only for her and withhold it from your neighbor who's going through a divorce.
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Brené Brown |
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ff8336a
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how often we all try to solve problems by doing more of what's not working--just doing it harder, grinding it out longer. We'll do anything to avoid the lowest of the low--self-examination.
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Brené Brown |
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be72754
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DIG Deep--get deliberate, inspired, and going.
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Brené Brown |
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e2e86dc
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Over the years I've learned that a surefooted and confident mapmaker does not a swift traveler make. I stumble and fall, and I constantly find myself needing to change course. And even though I'm trying to follow a map that I've drawn, there are many times when frustration and self-doubt take over, and I wad up that map and shove it into the junk drawer in my kitchen. It's not an easy journey from excruciating to exquisite, but for me it's ..
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Brené Brown |
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384f8a4
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Perfectionism never happens in a vacuum. It touches everyone around us. We pass it down to our children, we infect our workplace with impossible expectations, and it's suffocating for our friends and families. Thankfully, compassion also spreads quickly. When we're kind to ourselves, we create a reservoir of compassion that we can extend to others.
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Brené Brown |
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1852a98
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I want our home to be a place where we can be our bravest selves and our most fearful selves. Where we practice difficult conversations and share our shaming moments from school and work. I want to look at Steve and my kids and say, "I'm with you. In the arena. And when we fail, we'll fail together, while daring greatly." We simply can't learn to be more vulnerable and courageous on our own. Sometimes our first and greatest dare is asking f..
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Brené Brown |
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a091100
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Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real." "Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit. "Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real, you don't mind being hurt." "Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?" "It doesn't happen all..
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Brené Brown |
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6aac47e
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The opposite of play is not work--the opposite of play is depression." He explains, "Respecting our biologically programmed need for play can transform work. It can bring back excitement and newness to our job. Play helps us deal with difficulties, provides a sense of expansiveness, promotes mastery of our craft, and is an essential part of the creative process. Most important, true play that comes from our own inner needs and desires is th..
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Brené Brown |
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dd5335a
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It's crazy how much energy we spend trying to avoid these hard topics when they're really the only ones that can set us free.
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Brené Brown |
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9e5e39a
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It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again...who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while ..
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Brené Brown |
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3a8c7fb
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We all have gifts and talents. When we cultivate those gifts and share them with the world, we create a sense of meaning and purpose in our lives. Squandering our gifts brings distress to our lives. As it turns out, it's not merely benign or "too bad" if we don't use the gifts that we've been given; we pay for it with our emotional and physical well-being. When we don't use our talents to cultivate meaningful work, we struggle. We feel disc..
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meaning-of-life
well-being
gift
purpose
talent
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Brené Brown |
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8284b00
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If we want people to fully show up, to bring their whole selves including their unarmored, whole hearts--so that we can innovate, solve problems, and serve people--we have to be vigilant about creating a culture in which people feel safe, seen, heard, and respected.
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Brené Brown |
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23bb108
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There are times we will miss the opportunity to be empathic. Mental health professionals often call these "empathic failures." There are also times when the people around us will not be able to give us what we need. When this happens on occasion, most of our relationships can survive (and even thrive) if we work to repair the empathic failures. However, most relationships can't withstand repeated failed attempts at empathy. This is especial..
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Brené Brown |
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91f7a92
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As Anne Lamott said, "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen." We have the tendency to visualize an entire scenario or conversation or outcome, and when things don't go the way we'd imagined, disappointment can become resentment. This often happens when our expectations are based on outcomes we can't control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they're going to react."
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Brené Brown |
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1598082
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Daring leaders work to make sure people can be themselves and feel a sense of belonging.
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Brené Brown |
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6c2e2dd
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What's the most significant barrier to creativity and innovation? Kevin thought about it for a minute and said, "I don't know if it has a name, but honestly, it's the fear of introducing an idea and being ridiculed, laughed at, and belittled."
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Brené Brown |
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a3ac638
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Here's how I see the progression of my work: The Gifts of Imperfection--Be you. Daring Greatly--Be all in. Rising Strong--Fall. Get up. Try again.
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Brené Brown |
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c727f81
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Sometimes when we dare to walk into the arena the greatest critic we face is ourselves.
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Brené Brown |
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b079738
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Folks write down the name of someone who fills them with frustration, disappointment, and/or resentment, and then I propose that their person is doing the best he or she can. The responses have been wide-ranging...One woman said, "If this was true and my mother was doing the best she can, I would be grief-stricken. I'd rather be angry than sad, so it's easier to believe she's letting me down on purpose than grieve the fact that my mother is..
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grief
good-intentions
resentment
expectations
frustration
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Brené Brown |
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79fb17d
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who we are' is at least as important as 'what we want to achieve.
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Brené Brown |
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de32ff1
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Perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.
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Brené Brown |
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76d5b23
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Shame can only rise so far in any system before people disengage to protect themselves. When we're disengaged, we don't show up, we don't contribute, and we stop caring.
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Brené Brown |
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005ac1d
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I think we can all agree that feeling shame is an incredibly painful experience. What we often don't realize is that perpetrating shame is equally as painful, and no one does that with the precision of a partner or a parent. These are the people who know us the best and who bear witness to our vulnerabilities and fears. Thankfully, we can apologize for shaming someone we love, but the truth is that those shaming comments leave marks. And sh..
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shaming
shame
vulnerability
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Brené Brown |
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21acfec
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Fear of the Dark I've always been prone to worry and anxiety, but after I became a mother, negotiating joy, gratitude, and scarcity felt like a full-time job. For years, my fear of something terrible happening to my children actually prevented me from fully embracing joy and gratitude. Every time I came too close to softening into sheer joyfulness about my children and how much I love them, I'd picture something terrible happening; I'd pict..
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love
parenting
vulnerability
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Brené Brown |
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5500a02
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I always felt that someone, a long time ago, organized the affairs of the world into areas that made sense-catagories of stuff that is perfectible, things that fit neatly in perfect bundles. The world of business, for example, is this way-line items, spreadsheets, things that add up, that can be perfected. The legal system-not always perfect, but nonetheless a mind-numbing effort to actually write down all kinds of laws and instructions tha..
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Brené Brown |
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f8a6cee
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Joy comes to us in moments--ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary. Scarcity culture may keep us afraid of living small, ordinary lives, but when you talk to people who have survived great losses, it is clear that joy is not a constant.
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Brené Brown |
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38fa49a
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Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: "Who has earned the right to hear my story?" If we have one or two people in our lives who can sit with us and hold space for our shame stories, and love us for our strengths and struggles, we are incredibly lucky. If we have a friend, or a small group of friends, or family who embraces our imperfections, vulnerabili..
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Brené Brown |
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36d92e1
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I took a deep breath and recited my vulnerability prayer as I waited for my turn: Give me the courage to show up and let myself be seen. Then, seconds before I was introduced, I thought about a paperweight on my desk that reads, "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?" I pushed that question out of my head to make room for a new question. As I walked up to the stage, I literally whispered aloud, "What's worth doing eve..
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Brené Brown |