|
06e9c00
|
We like recovery stories to move quickly through the dark so we can get to the sweeping redemptive ending. I worry that this lack of honest accounts of overcoming adversity has created a Gilded Age of Failure.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
5587358
|
So much of what we hear today about courage is inflated and empty rhetoric that camouflages personal fears about one's likability, ratings, and ability to maintain a level of comfort and status. We need more people who are willing to demonstrate what it looks like to risk and endure failure, disappointment, and regret--people willing to feel their own hurt instead of working it out on other people, people willing to own their stories, live ..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6d5c961
|
When we go against the grain and put ourselves and our work out in the world, some people will feel threatened and they will go after what hurts the most--our appearance, our lovability, and even our parenting.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
c0a0683
|
Living with air pollution increases your odds of dying early by 5 percent. Living with obesity, 20 percent. Excessive drinking, 30 percent. And living with loneliness? It increases our odds of dying early by 45 percent.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
909c311
|
Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected." Connecting the dots of our lives, especially the ones we'd rather erase or skip over, requires equal parts self-love and curiosity: How do all of these experiences come together to make up who I am?"
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
f11ec2b
|
If empathy is the skill or ability to tap into our own experiences in order to connect with an experience someone is relating to us, compassion is the willingness to be open to this process.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
c4288a6
|
Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
fc408d3
|
I think the dilemma exists because art, among all the other tidy categories, most closely resembles what it is like to be human. To be alive. It is our nature to be imperfect. To have uncategorized feelings and emotions. To make or do things that don't sometimes necessarily make sense.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
9ec5227
|
The most powerful moments of our lives happen when we string together the small flickers of light created by courage, compassion, and connection and see them shine in the darkness of our struggles.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
4fdf90f
|
We're wired for story. In a culture of scarcity and perfectionism, there's a surprisingly simple reason we want to own, integrate, and share our stories of struggle. We do this because we feel the most alive when we're connecting with others and being brave with our stories - it's in our biology.
|
|
courage
storytelling
stories
|
Brené Brown |
|
8bab86d
|
I was not prepared to hear over and over from men how the women--the mothers, sisters, girlfriends, wives--in their lives are constantly criticizing them for not being open and vulnerable and intimate, all the while they are standing in front of that cramped wizard closet where their men are huddled inside, adjusting the curtain and making sure no one sees in and no one gets out. There was a moment when I was driving home from an interview ..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
a1fb6c4
|
I want to be in the arena. I want to be brave with my life. And when we make the choice to dare greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both. Not at the same time. Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it's having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage. A lot of ch..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
61de52e
|
Quick and dirty wins the race. Perfection is the enemy of done. Good enough is really effin' good.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
7bd4082
|
When we stop caring what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we are defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
5826e83
|
True belonging is not passive. It's not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It's not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it's safer. It's a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
933c1df
|
Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity."3"
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
69c57a0
|
A study published in the October 22, 2014, issue of the journal Neuron suggests that the brain's chemistry changes when we become curious, helping us better learn and retain information. But curiosity is uncomfortable because it involves uncertainty and vulnerability.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
199700c
|
The special courage it takes to experience true belonging is not just about braving the wilderness, it's about becoming the wilderness. It's about breaking down the walls, abandoning our ideological bunkers and living from our wild heart rather than our weary hurt. We're going to need to intentionally be with people who are different from us. We're going to have to sign up, join and take a seat at the table. We're going to have to learn how..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
adf76ff
|
Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It's not oversharing, it's not purging, it's not indiscriminate disclosure, and it's not celebrity-style social media information dumps. Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is mutual and an integral part of the trust-building process. We can't
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6488cdb
|
Dr. Kristin Neff is a researcher and professor at the University of Texas at Austin. She runs the Self-Compassion Research Lab, where she studies how we develop and practice self-compassion. According to Neff, self-compassion has three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. Here are abbreviated definitions for each of these: Self-kindness: Being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadeq..
|
|
mindfulness
|
Brené Brown |
|
04db18a
|
Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don't belong. You will always find it because you've made that your mission. Stop scouring people's faces for evidence that you're not enough. You will always find it because you've made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don't negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect ou..
|
|
self-criticism
self-identity
self-evaluation
|
Brené Brown |
|
1ccf39c
|
If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I'm not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their lives but who will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgment at those who dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fearmongering. If you're criticizing from a place where you'..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
65e2ddb
|
Joy is probably the most vulnerable emotion we experience in our lives.
|
|
vulnerability
|
Brené Brown |
|
c2f39d5
|
Spirituality is recognizing and celebrating that we are all inextricably connected to each other by a power greater than all of us, and that our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion. Practicing spirituality brings a sense of perspective, meaning, and purpose to our lives.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
4512aff
|
And if we all have shame, the good news is that we're all capable of developing shame resilience. Shame resilience is the ability to recognize shame, to move through it constructively while maintaining worthiness and authenticity, and to ultimately develop more courage, compassion, and connection as a result of our experience.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
b8754bd
|
we also need to consider letting go of the myth of self-sufficiency. One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on "going it alone." Somehow we've come to equate success with not needing anyone."
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
fb5e070
|
I believe that what we regret most are our failures of courage, whether it's the courage to be kinder, to show up, to say how we feel, to set boundaries, to be good to ourselves. For that reason, regret can be the birthplace of empathy.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
62abdd7
|
To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; ..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
d7f2dec
|
Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
4f04c5a
|
Trying to escape media influences in today's culture is as feasible as trying to protect ourselves from air pollution by not breathing.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
6e14af1
|
I'm not perfect and I'm not always right, but I'm here, open, paying attention, loving you, and fully engaged.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
a3486d3
|
Don't shrink. Don't puff up. Stand on your sacred ground.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
58ce5f6
|
Whether we're overcoming adversity, surviving trauma, or dealing with stress and anxiety, having a sense of purpose, meaning, and perspective in our lives allows us to develop understanding and move forward. Without purpose, meaning, and perspective, it is easy to lose hope, numb our emotions, or become overwhelmed by our circumstances. We feel reduced, less capable, and lost in the face of struggle. The heart of spirituality is connection...
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
3072ed2
|
Love: We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness, and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them--we can only love others as much as we ..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
d29ce98
|
Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
b10c813
|
Do not think you can be brave with your life and your work and never disappoint anyone. It doesn't work that way.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
64b475c
|
Speaking truth to bullshit and practicing civility start with knowing ourselves and knowing the behaviors and issues that both push into our own BS or get in the way of being civil. If we go back to BRAVING and our trust checklist, these situations require a keen eye on: 1. Boundaries. What's okay in a discussion and what's not? How do you set a boundary when you realize you're knee-deep in BS? 2. Reliability. Bullshitting is the abandonmen..
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
f8eddcc
|
Shame is all about fear. We're afraid that people won't like us if they know the truth about who we are, where we come from, what we believe, how much we're struggling, or, believe it or not, how wonderful we are when soaring
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
e03d496
|
Shame is much more likely to be the cause of destructive behavior than the cure. Guilt and empathy are the emotions that lead us to question how our actions affect other people, and both of these are severely diminished by the presence of shame.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
c8df121
|
Vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
29abbff
|
Shame tells you that you shouldn't have even tried. Shame tells you that you're not good enough and you should have known better.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
619c595
|
We have to find our way back to one another or fear wins.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
a71a081
|
An experience of collective pain does not deliver us from grief or sadness; it is a ministry of presence. These moments remind us that we are not alone in our darkness and that our broken heart is connected to every heart that has known pain since the beginning of time.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |
|
3118c87
|
We're sick of being afraid and we're tired of hustling for our self-worth. We want to be brave, and deep inside we know that being brave requires us to be vulnerable.
|
|
|
Brené Brown |