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e2c3deb
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there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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9213155
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I had all the characteristics of a human being--flesh, blood, skin, hair--but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that my normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind functioning
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ellis
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e177ee7
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All it comes down to is this: I feel like shit but look great.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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1b28af3
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there is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. It is hard for me to make sense on any given level. Myself is fabricated, an aberration. I am a noncontingent human being. My personali..
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ellis
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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bc44443
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I have to return some videotapes
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funny
humor
bale
videotapes
bret
easton
ellis
psycho
return
christian
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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473f701
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Is evil something you are? Or is it something you do?
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personality
evil
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e0dda5f
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Got you. You're mine now. For the rest of the day, week, month, year, life. Have you guessed who I am? Sometimes I think you have. Sometimes when you're standing in a crowd I feel those sultry, dark eyes of yours stop on me. Are you too afraid to come up to me and let me know how you feel? I want to moan and writhe with you and I want to go up to you and kiss your mouth and pull you to me and say "I love you I love you I love you" while str..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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7d662e5
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I'm into, oh murders and executions mostly. It depends.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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856bfe3
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The better you look, the more you see.
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privilege
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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7c9198e
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What does that mean know me, know me, nobody ever knows anybody else, ever! You will never know me.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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c872552
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There are no more barriers to cross. All I have in common with the uncontrollable and the insane, the vicious and the evil, all the mayhem I have caused and my utter indifference toward it I have now surpassed. My pain is constant and sharp and I do not hope for a better world for anyone, in fact I want my pain to be inflicted on others. I want no one to escape, but even after admitting this there is no catharsis, my punishment continues to..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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b784391
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But this road doesn't go anywhere," I told him. "That doesn't matter." "What does?" I asked, after a little while. "Just that we're on it, dude," he said."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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fc4ba03
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No one ever likes the right person.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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3f5ffaa
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I stare into a thin, web-like crack above the urinal's handle and think to myself that if I were to disappear into that crack, say somehow miniaturize and slip into it, the odds are good that no one would notice I was gone. No... one... would... care. In fact some, if they noticed my absence, might feel an odd, indefinable sense of relief. This is true: the world is better off with some people gone. Our lives are not all interconnected. Tha..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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475a6e1
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This is not an exit.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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56692e9
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Where there was nature and earth, life and water, I saw a desert landscape that was unending, resembling some sort of crater, so devoid of reason and light and spirit that the mind could not grasp it on any sort of conscious level and if you came close the mind would reel backward, unable to take it in. It was a vision so clear and real and vital to me that in its purity it was almost abstract. This was what I could understand, this was how..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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530eaff
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I only had sex with her because I'm in love with you.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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b21cf13
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I like to dissect girls. Did you know I'm utterly insane?
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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88352c8
|
Disappear here
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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5aba6d3
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There's no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I've started drinking my own urine.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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6e2406b
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Disappear Here. The syringe fills with blood. You're a beautiful boy and that's all that matters. Wonder if he's for sale. People are afraid to merge. To merge.
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ellis
disturbing
nihilism
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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64fa2ec
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People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles. This is the first thing I hear when I come back to the city. Blair picks me up from LAX and mutters this under her breath as she drives up the onramp. She says, "People are afraid to merge on freeways in Los Angeles." Though that sentence shouldn't bother me, it stays in my mind for an uncomfortably long time. Nothing else seems to matter. Not the fact that I'm eighteen and it's Decembe..
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interaction
isolation
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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375d728
|
I laugh maniacally, then take a deep breath and touch my chest- expecting a heart to be thumping quickly, impatiently, but there's nothing there, not even a beat.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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cba2f87
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A great numb feeling washes over me as I let go of the past and look forward to the future. Pretend to be a vampire. I don't really need to pretend, because it's who I am, an emotional vampire. I've just come to expect it. Vampires are real. That I was born this way. That I feed off of other people's real emotions. Search for this night's prey. Who will it be?
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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c35de68
|
We buy balloons, we let them go.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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a5d0c7a
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Look how black the sky is, the writer said. I made it that way.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e5c8df6
|
And it struck me then, that I liked Sean because he looked, well, slutty. A boy who had been around. A boy who couldn't remember if he was Catholic or not.
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sex
sex-appeal
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e5f3da6
|
Everything failed to subdue me. Soon everything seemed dull: another sunrise, the lives of heroes, falling in love, war, the discoveries people made about each other. The only thing that didn't bore me, obviously enough, was how much money Tim Price made, and yet in its obviousness it did. There wasn't a clear, identifiable emotion within me, except for greed and, possibly, total disgust. I had all the characteristics of a human being - fle..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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5198f61
|
Clay, did you ever love me?" I'm studying a billboard and say that I didn't hear what she said. "I asked if you ever loved me?" On the terrace the sun bursts into my eyes and for one blinding moment I see myself clearly. I remember the first time we made love, in the house in Palm Springs, her body tan and wet, lying against cool, white sheets. "Don't do this, Blair," I tell her. "Just tell me." I don't say anything. "Is it such a hard ques..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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3ad5611
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When the going gets tough, the tough go drinking.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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48dee6f
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Disintegration---I'm taking it in stride.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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9c756eb
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But this was what happened when you didn't want to visit and confront the past: the past starts visiting and confronting you.
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karma
past
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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146b2c8
|
Why was I holding on to something that would never be mine? But isn't that what people do?
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holding-on
human-nature
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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a40bd9f
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And though the coldness I have always felt leaves me, the numbness doesn't and probably never will. this relationship will probably lead to nothing... this didn't change anything. I imagine her smelling clean, like tea...
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numb
cold
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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1a13190
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No one will ever know anyone. We just have to deal with each other. You're not ever gonna know me.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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55f0e25
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You learn to move on without the people you love.
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people
move-on
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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43a0f41
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My pain is constant and sharp...this confession has meant nothing
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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56cd75c
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I don't want to care. If I care about things, it'll just be worse, it'll just be another thing to worry about. It's less painful if I don't care.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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fe2fd09
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Why not? Give me one good reason why we shouldn't get married." Because trying to fuck you is like trying to french-kiss a very.... small and... lively gerbil? With braces?" --
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patrick-bateman
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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2d9b34f
|
I feel I'm moving toward as well as away from something, and anything is possible.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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f3ee001
|
Do you know what Ed Gein said about women?" [...] "'When I see a pretty girl walking down the street I think two things. One part of me wants to take her out and talk to her and be real nice and sweet and treat her right.'" I stop finish my J&B in one swallow. "What does the other part of him think?" Hamlin asks tentatively. "What her head would look like on a stick"
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women
gein
psycho
ed
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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d074be2
|
But you don't need anything. You have everything,' I tell him. Rip looks at me. 'No I don't.' 'What?' 'No I don't.' There's a pause and then I ask, 'Oh, shit, Rip, What don't you have?' 'I don't have anything to loose.
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youth
rip
los-angeles
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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089f5be
|
But... what about us? What about the past?" she asks blankly. "The past isn't real. it's just a dream," I say. "Don't mention the past."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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bcbf247
|
A curtain of stars, miles of them, are scattered, glowing, across the sky and their multitude humbles me, which I have a hard time tolerating. She shrugs and nods after I say something about forms of anxiety. It's as if her mind is having a hard time communicating with her mouth, as if she is searching for a rational analysis of who I am, which is, of course, an impossibility: there... is... no... key.
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mouth
star
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Bret Easton Ellis |