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3db4c60
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No I'm not," I whisper to myself. "I'm a fucking evil psychopath."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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03cdd48
|
I have no patience for revelations, for new beginnings, for events that take place beyond the realm of my immediate vision.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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62678f6
|
Before I leave, the Eurotrash girl tells me she likes my gazelleskin wallet. I tell her I would like to tit-fuck her and then maybe cut her arms off, but the music, George Michael singing "Faith," is too loud and she can't hear me. Back upstairs I find Patricia where I left her,"
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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747c0aa
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suddenly I'm seized by a minor anxiety attack. There are too many fucking movies to choose from.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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7a81914
|
He was simply someone who floated through our lives and didn't seem to care how flatly he perceived everyone or that he'd shared our secret failures with the world, showcasing the youthful indifference, the gleaming nihilism, glamorizing the horror of it all.
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nihilism
glamour
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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c425701
|
her taste in music haunted my memory and I had to stop at Tower Records on the Upper West Side to buy ninety dollars' worth of rap CDs but, as expected, I'm at a loss: [...] voices uttering ugly words like digit, pudding, chunk.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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5e9e7cc
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As a writer you slant all evidence in favor of the conclusions you want to produce and you rarely tilt in favor of the truth. ...This is what a writer does: his life is a maelstrom of lying. Embellishment is his focal point. This is what we do to please others. This is what we do in order to flee ourselves. A writer's physical life is basically one of stasis, and to combat this constraint, an opposite world and another self have to be const..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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5af03a1
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Everything suddenly seems displaced, subtle gradations erase borders, but it's more forceful than that.
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lost
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e469b39
|
Baby, Andy once said that beauty is a sign of intelligence.' She turns slowly to look at me. 'Who, Victor? Who? Andy who?' She coughs, blowing her nose. 'Andy Kaufman? Andy Griffith? Who in the hell told you this? Andy Rooney?' 'Warhol,' I say softly, hurt. 'Baby...
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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35fc602
|
He's the boy next door, aren't you honey?" "No I'm not," I whisper to myself. "I'm a fucking evil psychopath."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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ea48de2
|
Baby, when you were young and your heart was an open book, you used to say live and let live. You know you did, you know you did, you know you did.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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1ddec50
|
I'm resourceful," Price is saying. "I'm creative, I'm young, unscrupulous, highly motivate, highly skilled. In essence what I'm saying is that society can afford to lose me. I'm an "
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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163bda4
|
What's the difference between a J.A.P and spaghetti? Spaghetti moves when you eat it.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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61dee32
|
And," Price adds, smiling, "if another round of Bellinis comes within a twenty-foot radius of our table we are going to set the maitre d' on fire. So you know, warn him."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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c3c7218
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If you can't make a girl come why even bother? That always seemed to me to be like writing questions in a letter.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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f9346b4
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The things I could do to you with a coat hanger.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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64189d6
|
but I don't want to wear a condom because I don't feel anything," and she says calmly... glaring at me,"If you don't use one you're not going to feel anything anyway."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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3eae2c8
|
At Columbus Circle, a juggler wearing a trench cloak and top hat, who is usually at this location afternoons and who calls himself Stretch Man, performs in front of a small, uninterested crowd; though I smell prey, and he seems worthy of my wrath, I move on in search of a less dorky target. Though if he'd been a mime, odds are he'd already be dead.
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inspirational
satire
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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700d7c1
|
and the girl and I get into her car and drive off into the hills and we go to her room and I take off my clothes and lie on her bed and she goes into the bathroom and I wait a couple of minutes and then she finally comes out, a towel wrapped around her, and sits on the bed and I put my hands on her shoulders, and she says stop it and, after I let her go, she tells me to lean against the headboard and I do and then she takes off the towel an..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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17165d6
|
These questions are punctuated by other questions, as diverse as "Will I ever do time?" and "Did this girl have a trusting heart?" The smell of meat and blood clouds up the condo until I don't notice it anymore. And later my macabre joy sours and I'm weeping for myself, unable to find solace in any of this, crying out, sobbing "I just want to be loved," cursing the earth and everything I have been taught: principles, distinctions, choices, ..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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152deb8
|
There is no time for the innocent.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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c923ca5
|
The conversation follows its own rolling accord - no real structure or topic or internal logic or feeling; except, of course, for its own hidden, conspiratorial one. Just words, and like in a movie, but one that has been transcribed improperly, most of it overlaps.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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f99e922
|
She sits before me, sullen but hopeful, characterless, about to dissolve into tears. I squeeze her hand back, moved, no, touched by her ignorance of evil. She has one more test to pass. Do you own a briefcase?" I ask her, swallowing."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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830e1d2
|
I'm also staring at the fortune cookie. Its got a lot of blood on it and I shrug and say, as jovially as I can, "Oh, you know me."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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5c47124
|
How do I know you're not crazy?" she asks. "How do I know you're not the craziest dude I've ever met?" "You'll have to test me out." "You have my info," she says. "I'll think about it." "Rain," I say. "That's not your real name." "Does it matter?" "Well, it makes me wonder what else isn't real." "That's because you're a writer," she says. "That's because you make things up for a living." "And?" "And"-- she shrugs--"I've noticed that..
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sanity
lies
writing
reality
truth
socializing
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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c3c1b26
|
I am a ghost to this man, I'm thinking. I am something unreal, something not quite tangible, yet still an obstacle of sorts and he nods, gets back on the phone, resumes speaking in a dialect totally alien to me.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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441f0cc
|
Hello, Halberstam," Owen says, walking by. Hello, Owen," I say, admiring the way he's styled and slicked back his hair, with a part so even and sharp it... devastates me and I make a mental note to ask him where he purchases his hair-care products, which kind of mousse he uses, my final guesses after mulling over the possibilities being Ten-X." --
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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ff5a82f
|
I want to go back," Daniel says, quietly, with effort. "Where?" I ask, unsure. There's a long pause that kind of freaks me out and Daniel finishes his drink and fingers the sunglasses he's still wearing and says, "I don't know. Just back."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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063cb40
|
Listen," I say, pushing my chair in. "I just want everyone to know that I'm pro-family and anti-drug. Excuse me."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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b0bf2b9
|
If all of your friends are morons is it a felony, a misdemeanor or an act of God if
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psycho
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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9f1f61b
|
Because the writer resented that she had turned to me I became the handsome and dazed narrator, incapable of love or kindness. That's how I became the damaged party boy who wandered through the wreckage, blood streaming from his nose, asking questions that never required answers. That's how I became the boy who never understood how anything worked. That's how I became the boy who wouldn't save a friend. That's how I became the boy who could..
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jealousy
resentment
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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20e1fb3
|
I want to moan and writhe with you and I want to go up to you and kiss your mouth and pull you to me and say "I love you I love you I love you" while stripping. I want you so bad it stings."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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bdd9125
|
About a week ago I was sitting in L.A.'s chicest nightclub with a few friends and the DJ was playing Yaz and Bowie and the videos were on and I was on my third gin and tonic and I realized that no matter where I am it's always the same. Camden, New York, L.A., Palm Springs - it really doesn't seem to matter. Maybe this should be disturbing but it's really not. I find it kind of comforting.
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l-a
nightclub
palm-springs
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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a70bb05
|
You can't get dyslexia from pussy.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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6fe1cd4
|
The reassuring smile was now useless. I was plastic. Everything was veiled. Objectivity, facts, hard information--these were things only in the outline stage. There was nothing tying anything together yet, so the mind built up a defense, and the evidence was restructured, and that was what I tried to do on that morning--to restructure the evidence so it made sense--and that is what I failed at.
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mind
restructure
uselessness
failure
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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3e454f5
|
There's no use in denying it: this has been a bad week. I've started drinking my own urine. I laugh spontaneously at nothing. Sometimes I sleep under my futon. I'm flossing my teeth constantly until my gums are aching and my mouth tastes like blood. Before dinner last night at 1500 with Reed Goodrich and Jason Rust I was almost caught at a Federal Express in Times Square trying to send the mother of one of the girls I killed last week what ..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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d76c09e
|
And as the elevator descents, passing the second floor, and the first floor, going even father down, I realize that the money doesn't matter. That all that does is that I want to see the worst
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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aa6e33b
|
There wasn't a clear, identifiable emotion within me, except for greed and, possibly, total disgust. I had all the characteristics of a human being--flesh, blood, skin, hair--but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that the normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind ..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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ee847bb
|
And as the elevator descends, passing the second floor, and the first floor, going even farther down, I realize that the money doesn't matter. That all that does is that I want to see the worst.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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72a5cad
|
What do you want, Patrick?" she sighs. "I just want peace, love, friendship, understanding," I say dispassionately."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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a2abb74
|
At first she was so inexpressive and indifferent that I wanted to know more about her. I envied that blankness - it was the opposite of helplessness or damage or craving or suffering or shame. But she was never really happy and already, in a matter of days, she had reached a stage in our relationship where she no longer really cared about me or any thoughts or ideas I might have had.
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jamie
|
Bret Easton Ellis |
|
2225867
|
Things changing, failing apart, fading, another year, a few more moves, a hard person who doesn't give a fuck, a boredom so monumental it humbles, arrangements so fleeting made by people you don't even know that it requires you to lose any sense of reality you might have once acquired, expectations so unreasonable you become superstitious about ever matching them.
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bryan
easton
ellis
the-informers
japan
|
Bret Easton Ellis |
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b7b8b86
|
I could stay living in this city if they just installed Blaupunkts in the cabs.
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patrick-bateman
|
Bret Easton Ellis |
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f9aa05d
|
There something beneath the surface of things.
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Bret Easton Ellis |