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75b4868
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and before I can stop it I find myself almost dazzled and moved that I might have the capacity to accept, though not return, her love.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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1bcb18d
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it did not occur to me, ever, that people were good or that a man was capable of change or that the world could be a better place through one's taking pleasure in a feeling or a look or a gesture, of receiving another person's love or kindness. Nothing was affirmative, the term "generosity of spirit" applied to nothing, was a cliche, was some kind of bad joke."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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29679c6
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Don't tell me he was another serial killer, Bateman. Not another serial killer." "No, McDufus, he wasn't a serial killer,"
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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7b97445
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I think ... you know how they say no two snowflakes are ever alike?" She nods. "Well, I don't think that's true. I think a lot of snowflakes are alike ... and I think a lot of people are alike too."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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4c84353
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The polite conversation that carried over from cocktails into dinner was so stifling that it carried a certain ruthlessness,
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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57a85b1
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It was always the A booth. It was always the front seat of the roller coaster. It was never "Let's not get the bottle of Cristal."
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lunar-park
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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7e9920b
|
I had to put this slim volume back into my bookshelf and drink a J&B on the rocks, followed by two Xanax, to recover from the effort.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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16b586f
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Life is full of endless possibilities." I tried valiantly not to choke on the beer nuts I was chewing while she gushed this kidney stone of wisdom,"
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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f85145c
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This forced you to look again at the people who raised them, coddling them with praise and trying to shield them from the grim sides of life, which might well have created children who, as adults, appeared highly confident, competent and positive but at the hint of darkness or negativity often became paralyzed and unable to react except with disbelief and tears--You just victimized me!--and retreated, in effect, into their childhood bubbles..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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836bdf1
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nonchalant,
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e490db4
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Well, I'm sorry." I smile. "I'm having problems."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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171d797
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And though it has been in no way a romantic evening, she embraces me and this time emanates a warmth I'm not familiar with. I am so used to imagining everything happening the way it occurs in movies, visualizing things falling somehow into the shape of events on a screen, that I almost hear the swelling of an orchestra, can almost hallucinate the camera panning low around us, fireworks bursting in slow motion overhead, the seventy-millimete..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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952d571
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It moved me away from the narcissism of childhood and into the world's mysteries--the unexplained, the taboo, the other--and drew me closer to a place of understanding and acceptance.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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8dd2fd2
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We seem to have entered precariously into a kind of totalitarianism that actually abhors free speech and punishes people for revealing their true selves. In other words: the actor's dream.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e788f5d
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Certainly, in the spring of 2013 I hadn't fucked up as many gay lives as Bill Clinton had.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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a4326e0
|
It wasn't until the show was almost over that I figured out what it was: the crack above my David Onica that I had asked the doorman to tell the superintendent to fix. On my way out this morning, I stopped at the front desk, about to complain to the doorman, when I was confronted with a NEW doorman, my age but balding and homely and FAT. Three glazed jelly doughnuts AND two steaming cups of extra-dark HOT CHOCOLATE lay on the desk in front ..
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superficiality
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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3002258
|
Faded posters of Donald Trump on the cover of Time magazine cover the windows of another abandoned restaurant,
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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a71dcf8
|
I was afraid to try Pellegrino for the first time." She looks over at me nervously--expecting me to... what, agree?--then at McDermott, who offers her a wan, tight smile. "But once I did, it was... fine."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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0e7ada8
|
The Patty Winters Show this morning was in two parts. The first was an exclusive interview with Donald Trump, the second was a report on women who've been tortured.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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879829b
|
There wasn't a clear, identifiable emotion within me, except for greed and possibly, total disgust. I had all the characteristics of a human being - flesh, blood, skin, hair - but my depersonalization was so intense, had gone so deep, that the normal ability to feel compassion had been eradicated, the victim of a slow, purposeful erasure. I was simply imitating reality, a rough resemblance of a human being, with only a dim corner of my mind..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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03864d1
|
So..." Kimball looks at his book helplessly. "There's nothing you can tell me about Paul Owen?" "Well." I sigh. "He led what I suppose was an orderly life, I guess." Really stumped, I offer, "He... ate a balanced diet."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e54b4a4
|
How easy it would be to scare the living wits out of this fucking guy. Kimball is utterly unaware of how truly vacant I am. There is no evidence of animate life in this office, yet still he takes notes. By the time you finish reading this sentence, a Boeing jetliner will take off or land somewhere in the world. I would like a Pilsner Urquell.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e4d1696
|
The office Halloween party was at the Royalton last week and I went as a mass murderer, complete with a sign painted on my back that read MASS MURDERER (which was decidedly lighter than the sandwich board I had constructed earlier that day that read DRILLER KILLER), and beneath those two words I had written in blood Yep, that's me.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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2adc1f8
|
To Evelyn our relationship is yellow and blue, but to me it's a gray place, most of it blacked out, bombed, footage from the film in my head is endless shots of stone and any language heard is utterly foreign, the sound flickering away over new images: blood pouring from automated tellers, women giving birth through their assholes, embryos frozen or scrambled (which is it?), nuclear warheads, billions of dollars, the total destruction of th..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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cef1052
|
I feel naked, suddenly tiny. My mouth tastes metallic, then it gets worse. My vision: a winter road. But I'm left with one comforting thought: I am rich--millions are not.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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b025975
|
I'm having a sort of hard time paying attention because my automated teller has started speaking to me, sometimes actually leaving weird messages on the screen, in green lettering, like "Cause a Terrible Scene at Sotheby's" or "Kill the President" or "Feed Me a Stray Cat," and I was freaked out by the park bench that followed me for six blocks last Monday evening and it too spoke to me. Disintegration--I'm taking it in stride."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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72a1e6e
|
Courtney, McDermott and I have just left a Morgan Stanley party that took place near the Seaport at the tip of Manhattan in a new club called Goldcard, which seemed like a vast city of its own and where I ran into Walter Rhodes, a total Canadian, whom I haven't seen since Exeter and who also, like McDermott, reeked of Xeryus, and I actually told him, "Listen, I'm trying to stay away from people. I'm avoiding even speaking to them," and then..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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78116d6
|
This was what i could understand, this was how I lived my life, what I constructed my movement around, how I dealt with the tangible. This was the geography around which my reality revolved: it did not occur to me, ever, that people were good or that a man was capable of change or that the world could be a better place through one's taking pleasure in a feeling or a look or a gesture, of receiving another person's love or kindness. Nothing ..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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8c28abd
|
What is it?" I ask, opening the folded page. "It's an article on your hero, Donald Trump." McDermott grins."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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15df1b5
|
Listen," I say, my voice trembling with emotion, "have whatever you want but I'm telling you I recommend the Diet Pepsi."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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8196246
|
The client had the boudin blanc, the roasted chicken and the cheesecake," he says. "Cheesecake?" I say, confused by this plain, alien-sounding list. "What sauce or fruits were on the roasted chicken? What shapes was it cut into?" "None, Patrick," he says, also confused. "It was... roasted." "And the cheesecake, what flavor? Was it heated?" I say. "Ricotta cheesecake? Goat cheese? Were there flowers or cilantro in it?" "It was just... regula..
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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e2a871f
|
You don't think it's"- and now she looks around the restaurant before leaning in, whispering-"AIDS?" "Oh no, nothing like that," I say, though immediately I wish I had paused long enough before answering to scare her. "Just . . . general . . . brain"--I bite the tip off an herbed breadstick and shrug--"injuries."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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30cd7ec
|
I would demand to wear Ray-Ban sunglasses. Expensive Ray-Bans," I say carefully. "In fact I would demand that everyone would have to wear Ray-Ban sunglasses."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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f6b87de
|
Armstrong just got back from the islands and has a very deep, very even tan, but so do I.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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d436016
|
On The Patty Winters Show this morning a Cheerio sat in a very small chair and was interviewed for close to an hour.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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9941be6
|
You just said your name was Pat." "No. I was wrong," I say sternly, staring directly at him. "I was wrong about my name being Pat. My name is Marcus."
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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8bd844d
|
En cuanto me di cuenta de que estaba completamente solo comprendi, solo entonces, que tenia problemas graves. Mi actitud nostalgica con respecto a la fama y las drogas -el placer de comadecerme a mi mismo- se habia transformado en tristeza y el futuro ya no me parecia ni remotamente plausible. Solamente una cosa parecia correr hacia mi: una negrura, una tumba, el final
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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75d3aea
|
Cualquiera que fuera el interes que compartian se evaporo tan rapido que parecio no haber existido en absoluto. Robby se nos acerco penosamente bajo el destello de las luces del centro comercial y de pronto me preocupo que su vida tuviera tan poco de poesia o romanticismo. Todo giraba en torno a una cotidianidad ansiosa y aburrida. Todo era una representacion
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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10d7753
|
The topic on The Patty Winters Show this morning was Has Patrick Swayze Become Cynical or Not?
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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356b9af
|
get into Zeus Bar. Kaktus. Kaktus at nine." "But"
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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f6ad80b
|
once you start choosing how people can and cannot express themselves then this opens the door to a very dark room in the corporation from which there's really no escape. Can't they in return police your thoughts, and then your feelings and then your impulses? And, finally, can they police, ultimately, your dream?
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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ee745fc
|
She's doped up watching MTV and I want to watch the goddamn MacNeil/Lehrer report.
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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1c27835
|
Why wasn't Donald Trump invited to your party?
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Bret Easton Ellis |
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8bd4bc2
|
I mean I tell her I'm sensitive. I told her I was freaked out by the Challenger accident--what more does she want?
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Bret Easton Ellis |