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a6c1c48
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The ass to end all asses," I said, unable to stop myself. "The Holy Grail of asses. If we lived in a world with fairies and elves, there would be epic quests to go get that ass. I wanted to bite it."
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T.J. Klune |
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405797a
|
No cursing," I scolded him. "You're a knight. You don't get to do that. You gave up that right when you swore your oath to the King. You have to lead by example now. So say stuff like 'fudge toast' and 'mothercrackers' instead of 'shit whore' and 'fuck storm."
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T.J. Klune |
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c48b821
|
Monsters are real. Magic is real. The world is a dark and frightening place and it's all real.
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T.J. Klune |
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fac5327
|
All I wanted to do was come home, because without you, I don't have a home.
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T.J. Klune |
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3921846
|
Hi, Sam!" "Hi, Tiggy." "You okay?" "Yes, Tiggy." "Tiggy smash something for Sam?" "No, Tiggy." "Tiggy smash something for Sam." He smashed one of the wooden sparring dummies. "Thank you, Tiggy." "Tiggy smash!" he bellowed and then proceeded to smash three more."
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T.J. Klune |
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41d4c96
|
It's you," I said, not able to look away. "It's how I feel when I'm with you. How I think I've always felt. You're my lightning-struck heart. It doesn't matter about the cornerstone. It doesn't matter about who I am or who you are. Not to me. I think it would have always been this way for me. Even if we had never escaped the slums. Ever since the beginning. Ever since I've known you, you've struck my heart, and now I have to let you go beca..
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love
sam-of-wilds
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T.J. Klune |
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484df96
|
Gary, why Sam sweating?" "Well you see, my dear Tiggy. When a boy loves another boy very much, it makes him awkward and have feelings in his penis and !" "Sam, why you use magic and glue Gary's mouth shut?" "Is that what was? Gosh! I just thought I was singing to myself!" " !"
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sam
tiggy
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T.J. Klune |
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b508001
|
Otter. Otter. Otter," I mutter. "Yes, Bear?" he says beautifully. "Don't lead cows to slaughter," I say. He arches an eyebrow. "Come again?" I take a deep breath. "I... love you and I know I should've told ya soon-a." His eyes widen slightly. "Wait, what? You... me?" I shake my head. "But you didn't buy the dolphin-safe tuna." "Bear, what the hell? Did you just... rhyme?"
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T.J. Klune |
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e9d0c1e
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How is that weird?" Dark the First asked incredulously. "Literally everyone does it. Literally." "I really wish you'd stop saying literally," Dark the Second said. "I literally don't think you understand what that word means."
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T.J. Klune |
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0ea130d
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It's not destiny, Ox. You're not bound by this. Not yet. There's a choice. There is always a choice. My wolf chose you. I chose you. And if you don't choose me, then that's your choice and I will walk out of here knowing you got to choose your own path. But I swear to god, if you choose me, I will make sure that you know the weight of your worth every day for the rest of our lives because that's what this is. I am going to be a fucking Alph..
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T.J. Klune |
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e2e5ec0
|
I'm a dragon, and maybe if you're lucky, I'll be dragon my balls across your face later.
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T.J. Klune |
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8dbe955
|
The first time I met him, I accidentally turned his nose into a penis. I was young and thought about dick a lot." Ryan almost fell down. For no apparent reason. He wasn't even . I arched an eyebrow at him. "You okay?" "I just...," Ryan started. "I don't.... ." "That pretty much sums up how we all feel about Sam," Gary said. "Fond with strong overtures of horror."
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T.J. Klune |
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e6b14a8
|
I wasn't smiling," he said. "I was doing lip stretches." --
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T.J. Klune |
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cebc4fd
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He came back into the room and frowned at the calendar. He didn't want to know what today's message said, because yesterday's was the absolute worst. He'd said hello and everything had turned upside down. Gus frowned, because he was good at it. "Ugh," he said. "Fine." Gus stared at the inspirational calendar. "Are you spying on me?" he eventually whispered. The inspirational calendar did not reply."
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T.J. Klune |
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1d23899
|
I googled "what to do when your future werewolf mate/boyfriend/best friend courts you and brings you a dead rabbit." First, there was a lot of porn. Then I found a recipe for Maltese rabbit stew. It was delicious. The stew, not the porn. The porn was weird. GORDO"
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T.J. Klune |
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1d5bccf
|
THREE YEARS. One month. Twenty-six days.
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T.J. Klune |
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8ee87f3
|
We're inevitable.
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T.J. Klune |
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60c4633
|
Dammit. I hate it when my crazy is right.
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T.J. Klune |
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046f181
|
Mom! Mom. You have to smell him! It's like... like... I don't even know what it's like! I was walking in the woods to scope out our territory so I could be like Dad and then it was like... whoa. And then he was all standing there and he didn't see me at first because I'm getting so good at hunting. I was all like rawr and grr but then I smelled it again and it was him and it was all kaboom! I don't even know! I don't even know! You gotta sm..
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ox
wolfsong
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T.J. Klune |
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27464d4
|
Good-bye, self-esteem and fuzzy feelings. It was so nice to make your acquaintance.
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T.J. Klune |
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c9bdb1a
|
I wish I could find that one person made for me so that way I can show them why I was made for them.
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T.J. Klune |
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735a4ec
|
He sighs and bows his head, burying his face in his hands. I touch his hair. His ears. Bear may be my rock, but Dom is the force that moves me.
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T.J. Klune |
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3aa6d7e
|
How he closed down like before. How he gave himself over to the wolf. How he didn't speak for months and months. And yet, the moment he comes home, the moment he sees you again, he finds his voice like he'd never lost it at all.
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T.J. Klune |
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d435f09
|
I've raised you to be honest and kind. I've raised you to be brave and strong. If you become the man I think you'll be, then you and me will always be eye to eye.
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T.J. Klune |
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07940d0
|
Losing him hurts more than anything I've ever felt before. But losing you? Ox, if anything happened to you, it would kill me. There is no point for me if you're not here. So no. You're not going. You're going to stay here because I love you more than anything in this goddamn world and I don't fucking care if you're pissed. I don't care if you hate me because of it. As long as I know you're safe, then that's all that matters. That's why, you..
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T.J. Klune |
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ab52921
|
We went into the Dark Woods and I almost had to get gay fairy married again and now I feel really bad and Ryan got bad-touched by trees and Fairy King Dimitri was cryptic and annoying and apparently has a size kink.
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ryan
sam
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T.J. Klune |
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f8ecd28
|
You have pajamas with a dead Palestinian leader's face on them." "I am aware," Gus said, trying not to fidget as Casey essentially stared at his crotch. "They're my Yasser Arapants." Casey choked. Gus waited. "Oh my fucking god," Casey mumbled to himself. "You're like... just... like, this ."
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T.J. Klune |
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a0f536c
|
Seven smirked as he walked back over to me. "I gave you catharsis last night. Twice."
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catharsis
funny
humor
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T.J. Klune |
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e602675
|
family is not defined by blood. It's not always who you're born to that you're stuck with. It's what you want it to be, what you make of it. It's the people around you who see you at your worst and are not afraid to pick up the pieces when you fall apart. It's the people who can call you on your bullshit. It's tough to hear, but if you do hear it, it means that someone gives a damn about you and chances are you should probably listen. It's ..
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T.J. Klune |
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78d5308
|
You guys look like you liked Mumford & Sons before everyone else did and now don't like them because everyone else does.
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T.J. Klune |
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dd7d53e
|
Joe crowded into my side, sitting down next to me, not leaving any room between us. The meal was an exercise in torture. He leaned in often when talking to me, breath on my neck, whispering in my ear. He touched my arm, my hand, my thigh. He had a straw in his soda. He never used straws. Never. But he had one now, pulled from somewhere, eyelashes fluttering up at me as he sucked, cheeks hollowing. I dropped my fork. It clattered loudly onto..
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T.J. Klune |
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e296e1a
|
found out I really hated dancing with strangers who were trying to get up in my business, so I filled in the silence with vivid descriptions of how we'd have at least ten kids and that I knew a spell that would allow us to get pregnant so we could take turns just popping out the ass babies. I'm pretty sure a couple of them all but ran by the time we'd finished. I waved after them.
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T.J. Klune |
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dec206c
|
Okay, okay. So. First things first. Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Second thing: I should probably say "thank you" for saving my life. Say it and then follow it up with something funny like... okay. Spinach joke. Spinach joke. Shit. Um... Oh, I know! What do anal sex and spinach have in common? If you're forced to have either as a child, you won't want it as an adult. Holy fucking Christ. What the fuck is wrong with me? There is no way I can make a..
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T.J. Klune |
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2d203f0
|
I winked at myself in the mirror and then realized that's what douchebags did, so I vowed to never do it again. I
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T.J. Klune |
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7052401
|
A werewolf is courting me with a dead rabbit. There's nothing subtle here.
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T.J. Klune |
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0b8df9f
|
Had I known then what I know now, I would have clung to him. I would have looked him in the eyes to see that spark of mischief, that undying intelligence that belied his gruff exterior. If I'd known the inevitable, I would have said everything I felt in my heart and soul. I would have told him thank you for being my father. I would have said that if I'm ever going to be a good man, it's going to be because of the way he'd raised me... ...I..
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T.J. Klune |
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cd8987b
|
I'm going to have to work out even more now tomorrow to make up for all the potatoes and bread. Okay. I feel bad. That was a lie. I'm not going to work out at all. That sounds just awful.
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T.J. Klune |
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899fd5f
|
If Sam were a tree, you know what kind of tree he'd be?" "What kind?" "A pine. Because of all the pining."
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tiggy
|
T.J. Klune |
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a530c24
|
I squeeze his hand and give him fifteen words that mean everything. "It's okay to sleep now, Dad. I know that one day, we'll be together again."
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T.J. Klune |
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adbd48a
|
Don't tell me you don't know!" I roared at him. "Tell me one fucking thing you do know!" "That I love you." His breath hitched in his chest. And I just. I couldn't breathe. Everything"
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|
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T.J. Klune |
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2092969
|
I am eighty-three years old, but I only remember the last seventy-one years. You see, when I was twelve, I met a blue-eyed boy and fell in love. I can only remember the last seventy-one years because anythin' before that day don't matter. Nothin' that came before could compare to anythin' that came after. I wasn't truly alive until he looked at me for the first time. And from then on, even if I didn't know how it was possible, I knew he was..
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|
soul-mates
|
T.J. Klune |
|
de2e30b
|
once something is shattered, it can never be put back together in its original shape. Undoubtedly some pieces are lost or fit into incorrect places. The whole will never be as strong as it was once before.
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T.J. Klune |
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1fd8993
|
It can mean many things. Friendship. Family. Trust." He closed his eyes and listened to the sound of the forest. "Or more." "More?" "Love. Faith. Devotion." "He...." "Yeah, man. He did." "He was ten." Carter opened his eyes. "And he spoke to you after not speaking for over a year. We all knew. Even then." I"
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T.J. Klune |
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74bc0dc
|
Eric's ass is so loose it sounds like wind blowing over a cave entrance when he walks.
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T.J. Klune |