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9cb364a
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I remember, the first time I saw you." I did too, something seared into my memory, but it wasn't about me, right then. "You were this... fierce thing," he said, moving the wipe to my left eye, pressing carefully to the eyelid. "Tall and gorgeous and fucking bitchy as all hell." He set the wipe down behind me and then pulled out another. He started in on the other eye. "And I didn't think I'd ever seen anything as amazing as you before." My ..
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T.J. Klune |
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157554f
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Do you have any tattoos?" "No? I mean, almost everyone I know does, but needles scare me, so I don't have any. I mean, why would you want to sit in a chair and get repeatedly stabbed--"
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T.J. Klune |
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ca86c4e
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Why'd the chicken cross the road?" I gaped at him. "Because it got scared after it saw me kicking your ass!"
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T.J. Klune |
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58cf589
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The whole gay thing. You know, I've been doing some research about that." Uh-oh. "Have you?" "Yes."
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T.J. Klune |
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6caddba
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I don't want to know when you've been tied up in the fun way," I told him."
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T.J. Klune |
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8ee6313
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But Mama taught me that while life had sharp edges, it would only cut you if you allowed it to.
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T.J. Klune |
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e1cf75f
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I was able to come home to my family that didn't give a shit who I would grow up loving. I was able to have my dad teach me how to fight back, and not because he thought his son was a pansy, but because his son was a pansy who wanted to fight back. I was able to come home and sit on a chair while my mother kneeled before me, wiping the blood from a cut on my forehead where Donnie Craig's fist had hit me. I got to see the anger in their eyes..
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T.J. Klune |
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09dccd1
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And then came Paul and with Paul came all of you, and for the first time in a long time, I thought maybe I could have something just for me. Someone that didn't care that I wasn't always the smartest person or didn't need for me to act a certain way because of an election." Well fuck me up and call me his bitch. If he could just think of this off the top of his head, I was absolutely when it came to his vows. There was absolutely no fucki..
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T.J. Klune |
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66a347b
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Gary," the dragon whispered in awe, the name on his lips sounding almost like benediction. "Have two syllables ever sounded more beautiful together? Geh. Ree. The gods must have outdone themselves the day that word was born. They took the exquisiteness from the earth and rolled it together with a pinch of sunshine and love and gorgeousness and when it was finished, it was Gary." "Wow," Gary said. "That was... words."
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T.J. Klune |
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f4b5fd8
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I didn't want to be covered in rage glitter and rainbows. That was gonna suck balls.
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rainbows
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T.J. Klune |
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ac942d1
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God, how I've missed you. I don't want to miss you ever again.
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T.J. Klune |
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d20e1c1
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You're so used to what you had before that this is scaring you. And it'd be easier to walk away. It would be easier to pretend this never happened. But the things we want in life will never be easy, and if you want it, if you really do, then you need to fight for it with everything you've got. It's only yours to lose, Paul. Only you can make it go away.
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T.J. Klune |
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10bda65
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He smiled at me, and it was a thing of dark malevolence. "It means," he said, "that we can double date. Just the four of us. Doesn't that sound like fun?" And I thought there was a distinct possibility that I would rather be waterboarded. With bleach. On my birthday. In Kentucky. "Great," I said. "Super great. Like, the greatest idea you've ever had."
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T.J. Klune |
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0b5a258
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Yes, well, there's nothing wrong with having a healthy libido," I said, trying to figure out if I should write about the time I sat on Ryan's face or if I should maybe go to church a little bit more. It really could have gone either way."
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T.J. Klune |
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50f3872
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Oh my gods," Gary groaned from behind us. "Would you two just go already? This is so godsdamned disturbing to watch. It's like you're face-fucking me with a dick made of sugar. Stop it. You stop it right now and go fornicate before the rest of us get sucked into your black hole of love."
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T.J. Klune |
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5e327da
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Mark my words," she said, eyes on me. "You will sing by the time this is over. The songs of sorrow. The will come for you, Sam of Wilds. The spirits of the dead will haunt you when this is said and done. You will live only to die alone with just the memories of your failures to usher you through the veil." "Yeah," Kevin said. "You seem like you'd be fun at parties."
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T.J. Klune |
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28dab0d
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Regardless of what your beliefs are, regardless of who you are and are not related to here, Surely you can agree that I am still your King. And as your King, I am ordering you to shut your mouth." "That might have given me an erection," Gary said to Tiggy. "Power kink," Tiggy said. "Like you wouldn't even believe," Gary agreed."
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T.J. Klune |
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702a8df
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You want to get a drink later? Maybe after, if you're lucky, you can finally find out what it means to taste the rainbow.
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T.J. Klune |
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1e490ff
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Okay, you need to point those freaky eyes at someone else, Miss Thang. I don't need your creepy hoodoo business all up in my shit." "I think they're hot," Ryan whispered to me. "I know," I said. "But you're really weird, so."
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T.J. Klune |
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5748456
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The final thing I learned? I was completely and irrevocably obsessed with dicks. And also pretty damn gay. "Oh sweat balls," Paul said. "That was... something. Also? I'm confused and I have an erection. As if being fat wasn't hard enough, now I have to be sweaty and like penises. And I want a pizza. What the hell. How is this my life?" "My dearest Paul," I said finally. "I think we might be queer." "Well fuck," Paul said succinctly."
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T.J. Klune |
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56e09b7
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His chest puffed out as he preened. "I am badass. Tiggy so badass." "Darn right, mothercracker," Ryan said, holding out his fist, which Tiggy bumped with pleasure. I liked that these were my people."
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T.J. Klune |
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117f397
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And Joe. Joe sang the loudest of all. He said, "You belong to me."
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T.J. Klune |
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e033fba
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You are my son," my father said, ignoring my fierce blush. "The only one God saw fit to give me. As long as you grow up to be a good man, the rest doesn't matter. We clear?"
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T.J. Klune |
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ddde56f
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That's the thing, Gussy. Some choices hurt. Some decisions hurt. But the only reason they hurt is because you care about them so much. You were my good decision, Gustavo. My right one. I've always thought so.
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T.J. Klune |
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f8ccfb5
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He frowns. "How else am I supposed to be? If there's one thing I've learned about human nature, is that it is imperative to be who you are."
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T.J. Klune |
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1c41335
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He looked closely. It was very disconcerting to have your gay unicorn best friend studying your penis that intensely. Finally, he gave his verdict. "It's a very nice penis." "Thank"
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T.J. Klune |
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34c447f
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Paul Auster," Nana said. "Do you take RoboCop as your lawfully wedded husband?" "I do." "And RoboCop, do you take Paul as your lawfully wedded husband?" "Madam, you have suffered an emotional shock," RoboCop said. "I will notify a rape crisis center." Dad started choking. We waited until he finished. "By the power invested in me," Nana said, "which is all encompassing and should not be taken lightly, by the state of Arizona, I now pronounce..
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T.J. Klune |
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5a601ae
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Joe was Joe was Joe.
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T.J. Klune |
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6b349ff
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I don't think this is working out between us," I told him. "You and I want different things. It's not me, it's you."
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T.J. Klune |
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877f6d4
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It's one thing to love a person, but it's another to love them regardless of their faults. And I had I bunch of them.
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T.J. Klune |
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c4b4fe2
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Sometimes it's enough to love someone just the way they are. Other times, you have to work at it so that it doesn't fade away.
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T.J. Klune |
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d134c2f
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But it's also--we had a strange family growing up. Things weren't always easy. For us. For others. Mistakes were made. Bad things happened. But we survived. We made it through everything. And there came a point where I wanted to be able to pass on all we learned. To let Bear see that he deserved more. To maybe have a chance to be happier than we'd ever been.
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T.J. Klune |
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2801879
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Creed looks like Santa barfed Christmas presents in his lap (excited and disturbed all at the same time, natch).
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T.J. Klune |
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5d079a5
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I briefly considered getting a cat, but then decided against it because I didn't want to be one of those people. You know what I mean. My grandmother, Gigi (Mom's mom), was one of them. She'd make tuna fish and then sit in her old chair, which smelled like Bengay and broken dreams, and chew it, then open her mouth and let her cat eat it right then and there. She said it was because Mrs. Tingles was too old to chew her own food and she wante..
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T.J. Klune |
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e471327
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I didn't understand what it meant to be the Alpha. All I could do was hope that I could be enough as his tether. Of course, any courting he'd been doing before had stopped. I
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T.J. Klune |
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6480317
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I bet there's like an Easter egg on one of the DVDs," Sandy said, taking a drink of his tea. "A deleted scene that shows Eeyore jerking off to a photo of Pooh fucking Piglet while hanging himself with his tail in the closet."
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T.J. Klune |
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9b77f65
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I have so much to say, so of course I say nothing.
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T.J. Klune |
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eff473b
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I took off my glasses and threw them down the street. They landed near a cracked-out-looking homeless man pushing a shopping cart. He bent down, picked them up, and crowed, "All right! Sunglasses coming down from the sky! Everything's coming up Dave!" He put them on and started whistling as he pushed his cart down the sidewalk"
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T.J. Klune |
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270baf8
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Later, when I'm on the edge of sleep, I hear him whisper, "You'll see. One day, you'll see what I've seen all along." And then I'm gone."
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T.J. Klune |
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509d56c
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I try to rub my arms, but I still feel cold. I dress, but nothing I put on fits right. I try and eat, but all the food tastes like sawdust. I turn on the TV, but the lights and noise hurt my head. I pace around the living room. I pace in the kitchen. I pace in the living room again. I grab my car keys. I get in my car. I drive and drive and drive, and I think I"m going to leave. I think I"m going to leave and not look back. It would be easi..
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T.J. Klune |
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8dbb94e
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That's code for sex," I said to Morgan. "Do not go to their bakery." Morgan covered his eyes with his hand and sighed. We"
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T.J. Klune |
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12dbed5
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Oh, Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam. You know nothing about dragons, do you? Wow. How the hell are we your destiny? You poor, poor sexy man-child. I feel bad for you. And slightly aroused. But mostly bad. And aroused.
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T.J. Klune |
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325ea28
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My malt brings all the boys to the vestibule.
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T.J. Klune |
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2ff56a8
|
I blinked blearily at the faces staring down at me. They all looked immediately relieved. And because I couldn't pass up the opportunity to be an asshole, I said, "Where am I? Who are all of you? Why can't I remember anything, such as my own name or country of origin or the people in my life who I am supposed to love?"
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T.J. Klune |