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e47efa7
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When people say "clearly" something that means there's a huge crack in their argument and they know things aren't clear at all."
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Terry Pratchett |
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d30ea60
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We're on a mission from Glod.
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Terry Pratchett |
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804e18f
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Granny bit her lip. She was never quite certain about children, thinking of them - when she thought about them at all - as coming somewhere between animals and people. She understood babies. You put milk in one end and kept the other as clean as possible. Adults were even easier, because they did the feeding and cleaning themselves. But in between was a world of experience that she had never really inquired about. As far as she was aware, y..
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Terry Pratchett |
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7e49cd9
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Look, sir, I know Angua. She's not the useless type. She doesn't stand there and scream helplessly. She makes other people do that.
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humourous
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Terry Pratchett |
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5b2cd37
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The dwarf bread was brought out for inspection. But it was miraculous, the dwarf bread. No one ever went hungry when they had some dwarf bread to avoid. You only had to look at it for a moment, and instantly you could think of dozens of things you'd rather eat. Your boots, for example. Mountains. Raw sheep. Your own foot.
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Terry Pratchett |
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64c3539
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For a witch stands on the very edge of everything, between the light and the dark, between life and death, making choices, making decisions so that others may pretend no decisions have even been needed. Sometimes they need to help some poor soul through the final hours, help them to find the door, not to get lost in the dark.
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witches
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Terry Pratchett |
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44c4590
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the little man's total obliviousness to all forms of danger somehow made danger so discouraged that it gave up and went away.
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Terry Pratchett |
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30a4c4c
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It wasn't that Nanny Ogg sang badly. It was just that she could hit notes which, when amplified by a tin bath half full of water, ceased to be sound and became some sort of invasive presence.
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singing
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Terry Pratchett |
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7b6e025
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Belief, he says. Belief shifts. People start out believing in the god and end up believing in the structure.
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religion
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Terry Pratchett |
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2253234
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The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.
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turnip
insanity
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Terry Pratchett |
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46486ef
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Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4e760f8
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It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.
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death
humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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eed5be2
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Now, there is a tendency at a point like this to look over one's shoulder at the cover artist and start going on at length about leather, tightboots and naked blades. Words like 'full', 'round' and even 'pert' creep into the narrative, until the writer has to go and have a cold shower and a lie down. Which is all rather silly, because any woman setting out to make a living by the sword isn't about to go around looking like something off the..
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women
fantasy
humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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6888ce1
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The Librarian considered matters for a while. So...a dwarf and a troll. He preferred both species to humans. For one thing, neither of them were great readers. The Librarian was, of course, very much in favor of reading in general, but readers in particular got on his nerves. There was something, well, sacrilegious about the way they kept taking books off the shelves and wearing out the words by reading them. He liked people who loved and r..
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Terry Pratchett |
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e15f488
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This is Art holding a Mirror up to Life. That's why everything is exactly the wrong way around.
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life
mirrors
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Terry Pratchett |
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aefa720
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Balance. It was all about balance. That had been one of the first things that she had learned: the centre of the seesaw has neither up nor down, but upness and downness flow through it while it remains unmoved. You had to be the centre of the seesaw so the pain flowed you, not you. It was very hard. But she could do it!
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Terry Pratchett |
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ab03a83
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Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum amount of moo.
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humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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9b63997
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But, in truth, it had not exactly been gold, or even the promise of gold, but more like the fantasy of gold, the fairy dream that the gold is there, at the end of the rainbow, and will continue to be there forever - provided, naturally, that you don't go and look. This is known as finance.
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rainbow
gold
finance
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Terry Pratchett |
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0618ebe
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BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT, IS THAT THE IDEA? "That's about the size of it, master. A good god line, that. Don't give 'em too much and tell 'em to be happy with it. Jam tomorrow, see." THIS IS WRONG. Death hesitated. I MEAN...IT'S RIGHT TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE GOT. BUT YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT HAVING. THERE'S NO POINT IN BEING HAPPY ABOUT HAVING NOTHING."
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Terry Pratchett |
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d1a222e
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No other species anywhere in the world had invented boredom. Perhaps it was boredom, not intelligence, that had propelled them up to the evolutionary ladder.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5885e52
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Natural selection saw to it that professional heroes who at a crucial moment tended to ask themselves questions like 'What is my purpose in life?' very quickly lacked both.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5691c16
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Maurice watched them argue again. Humans, eh? Think they're lords of creation. Not like us cats. We know we are. Ever see a cat feed a human? Case proven.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b2b8550
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I want a proper school, sir, to teach reading and writing, and most of all thinking, sir, so people can find out what they are good at, because someone doing what they really like is always an asset to any country, and too often people never find out until it is too late. There have been times, lately, when I dearly wished that I could change the past. Well, I can't, but I can change the present, so that when it becomes the past it will tur..
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Terry Pratchett |
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d3af3a7
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Shoes, men, coffins; never accept the first one you see.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a108337
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Building a temple didn't mean you believed in gods, it just meant you believed in architecture.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f34d028
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Yeah, all right, but everyone knows they torture people," mumbled Sam. "Do they?" said Vimes. "Then why doesn't anyone do anything about it?" "'cos they torture people."
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vimes
pratchett
torture
police
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Terry Pratchett |
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3617f54
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But in his experience it was only a matter of time before the normal balance of the universe restored itself and started doing the usual terrible things to him.
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Terry Pratchett |
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e3d1908
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Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8847d2e
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I? KILL? said Death, obviously offended. CERTAINLY NOT. PEOPLE GET KILLED, BUT THAT'S THEIR BUSINESS. I JUST TAKE OVER FROM THEN ON. AFTER ALL, IT'D BE A BLOODY STUPID WORLD IF PEOPLE GOT KILLED WITHOUT DYING, WOULDN'T IT?
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humour
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Terry Pratchett |
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4e9efcb
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a metaphor ... is like lying but more decorative.
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humorous
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Terry Pratchett |
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5a3d08d
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This is space. It's sometimes called the final frontier. (Except that of course you can't have a frontier, because there'd be nothing for it to be a frontier , but as frontiers go, it's pretty penultimate . . .)
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Terry Pratchett |
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b230f98
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One of the things forgotten about the human spirit is that while it is, in the right conditions, noble and brave and wonderful, it is also, when you get right down to it, only human.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6c20f9b
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Voodoo is a very interesting religion for the whole family, even those members of it who are dead.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f8918da
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How do you get all those coins?" asked Mort. IN PAIRS."
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Terry Pratchett |
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60a3f54
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Vimes had once discussed the Ephebian idea of 'democracy' with Carrot, and had been rather interested in the idea that everyone had a vote until he found out that while he, Vimes, would have a vote, there was no way in the rules that anyone could prevent Nobby Nobbs from having one as well. Vimes could see the flaw there straight away.
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vote
government
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Terry Pratchett |
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659460d
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I'd just like to say," he said, "if we don't get out of this, that...I'll have known, deep down inside, that there was a spark of goodness in you." "That's right," said Crowley bitterly. "Make my day." Aziraphale held out his hand. "Nice knowing you," he said. Crowley took it. "Here's to the next time," he said. "And...Aziraphale?" "Yes." "Just remember I'll have known that, deep down inside, you were just enough of a bastard to be worth li..
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Terry Pratchett |
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8927284
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The smug mask of virtue triumphant could be almost as horrible as the face of wickedness revealed.
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virtue
granny-weatherwax
wickedness
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Terry Pratchett |
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f78d4b9
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I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point.
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Terry Pratchett |
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27598f3
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It's an inconvenience, true enough, and I don't like it at all, but I know that you do it for everyone, Mister Death. Is there any other way?' NO, THERE ISN'T, I'M AFRAID. WE ARE ALL FLOATING IN THE WINDS OF TIME. BUT YOUR CANDLE, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX, WILL FLICKER FOR SOME TIME BEFORE IT GOES OUT - A LITTLE REWARD FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED. FOR I CAN SEE THE BALANCE AND YOU HAVE LEFT THE WORLD MUCH BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT, AND IF YOU ASK ME, s..
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discworld
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Terry Pratchett |
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4f09b44
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She folded her arms and then shouted, "Right you thieving scunners! How dare you steal Miss Treason's funeral meats!" "Oh, waily, waily, it's the foldin' o' the arms, the foooldin' o' the aaaarmss!" cried Daft Wullie, dropping to the ground and trying to cover himself with leaves. Around him Feegles started to wail and cower and Big Yan began to bang his head on the rear wall of the dairy."
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Terry Pratchett |
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ec538df
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Maybe the only significant difference between a really smart simulation and a human being was the noise they made when you punched them.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0a8d816
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Last night there seemed to be a chance. Anything was possible last night. That was the trouble with last nights. They were always followed by this mornings.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0291e64
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Someone got killed up here.... It was outside. A tall man. He had one leg longer'n the other. And a beard. He was probably a hunter." "How'd you know all that?" "I just trod on 'im."
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Terry Pratchett |
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1323888
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Walter Plinge said: "You know she asked me a very silly question Mrs Ogg! It was a silly question any fool knows the answer!" "Oh, yes," said Nanny. "About houses on fire, I expect..." "Yes! What would I take out of our house if it was on fire!" "I expect you were a good boy and said you'd take your mum," said Nanny. "No! My mum would take herself!" "What would you take out then, Walter?" Nanny said. "The fire!"
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Terry Pratchett |