|
9beb4ee
|
Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it.
|
|
nose
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
de98706
|
Death turned to leave the room, but stopped when Hex began to write furiously. He went back and looked at the emerging paper. +++ Dear Hogfather, For Hogswatch I Want OH, NO. YOU CAN'T WRITE LETT... Death paused, and then said, YOU CAN, CAN'T YOU. +++ Yes. I Am Entitled +++ Death waited until the pen had stopped, and picked up the paper. BUT YOU ARE A MACHINE. THINGS HAVE NO DESIRES. A DOORKNOB WANTS NOTHING, EVEN THOUGH IT IS A COMPLEX MAC..
|
|
|
terry pratchett |
|
b4ada7a
|
Those who sought her never found her, yet she was known to come to the aid of those in greatest need. And, then again, sometimes she didn't. She was like that. She didn't like the clicking of rosaries, but was attracted to the sound of dice. No man knew what She looked like, although there were many times when a man who was gambling his life on the turn of the cards would pick up the hand he had been dealt and stare Her full in the face. Of..
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
803ad82
|
Esk felt that bravery was called for, but on a night like this bravery lasted only as long as a candle stayed alight.
|
|
light
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
a14bcbb
|
I'm not cruel, sir, I won't shoot you in the guts, but I will make you realize how much you took your toes for granted.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
c314379
|
SEE THE MAN NEXT TO HIM? WITH THE LITTLE MOUSTACHE AND THE GRIN LIKE A LIZARD? Death pointed with his scythe. 'Yes?' HIS COUSIN, THE DUKE OF STO HELIT. NOT THE NICEST OF PEOPLE, said Death. A HANDY MAN WITH A BOTTLE OF POISON. FIFTH IN LINE TO THE THRONE LAST YEAR, NOW SECOND IN LINE. BIT OF A SOCIAL CLIMBER, YOU MIGHT SAY.
|
|
mort
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
bfed242
|
It was a little like stealing. It was exactly like stealing. It was, in fact, stealing. But there was no law against it because no one knew the crime existed, so is it really stealing if what's stolen isn't missed? And is it stealing if you're stealing from thieves? Anyway, all property is theft, except mine.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
021009b
|
In front of the group was a legless man on a small wheeled trolley, who was singing at the top of his voice and banging two saucepans together. His name was Arnold Sideways. Pushing him along was Coffin Henry, whose croaking progress through an entirely different song was punctuated by bouts of off-the-beat coughing. He was accompanied by a perfectly ordinary-looking manin torn, dirty and yet expensive looking clothing, whose pleasant tenor..
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
5ac3b57
|
Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?" "In every way that I can" said Nutt. "I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly. He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?" There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who..
|
|
humor
orcs
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
7bc5778
|
The calendar of the Theocracy of Muntab counts down, not up. No-one knows why, but it might not be a good idea to hang around and find out.
|
|
time
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
d4200f3
|
That's what being alive is, Thing! It's being badly prepared for everything! Because you only get one chance, Thing!
|
|
inspiration
life
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
4c7efb0
|
And the new day was a great big fish
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
ff381d6
|
no one is finally dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away--until the clock he wound up winds down, until the wine she made has finished its ferment, until the crop they planted is harvested. The span of someone's life, they say, is only the core of their actual existence.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
07b9733
|
Mister Rob Anybody and sundry others?" said one of the figures in a dreadful voice. "There's naebody here o' that name!" shouted Rob Anybody. "We dinna know anythin'!" "We have here a list of criminal and civil charges totaling nineteen thousand, seven hundred and sixty-three separate offenses-" "We wasna there!" yelled Rob Anybody desperately. "Isn't that right, lads?" "-including more than two thousand cases of Making an Affray, Causing a..
|
|
lawyers
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
7e61ba4
|
Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of your soldiers said he bit a man's nose off." Vimes shrugged. "He's got a very pointed look if I don't use the sugar tongs, I know that."
|
|
humourous
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
6663eff
|
The children refused to disbelieve in the monsters because, frankly, they knew damn well the things were there. But she'd found that they could, very firmly, also believe in the poker.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
8cf681c
|
Of course, he was in favor of Armageddon in general terms. If anyone had asked him why he'd been spending centuries tinkering in the affairs of mankind he'd have said, "Oh, in order to bring about Armageddon and the triumph of Hell." But it was one thing to work to bring it about, and quite another for it to actually happen. Crowley had always known that he would be around when the world ended, because he was immortal and wouldn't have any ..
|
|
|
Neil Gaiman Terry Pratchett |
|
0549c69
|
Although she was aware that somewhere under her complicated strata of vests and petticoats there was some skin, that didn't mean to say she approved of it.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
4052dcf
|
And that was fine, except that she didn't have any old friends anymore. Kids back home who'd been friendly were now...respectful, because of the hat. There was a kind of wall, as if she'd grown up and they hadn't. What could they talk about? She'd been to places they couldn't even imagine. Most of them hadn't even been to Twoshirts, which was only half a day away. And this didn't worry them at all. They were going to do the jobs their fathe..
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
a096b9a
|
But we don't do things like that!" said Vimes. "You can't go around arresting the Thieves' Guild. I mean, we'd be at it all day!"
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
7aaa6d1
|
It was a backwards memory of an event in his future so terrifying that it had generated harmonics of fear all the way along his lifeline.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
8a7bef0
|
It's a terrible thing for a man when his woman gangs up on him wi' a toad
|
|
marriage
wife
husband
toads
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
14fcf85
|
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
05a0ccb
|
There's a kind of magic in masks. Masks conceal one face, but they reveal another. The one that only comes out in darkness. I bet you could do just what you liked, behind a mask ... ?
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
8d11271
|
Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay attention. I am a
|
|
humor
vampires
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
089908c
|
It was nice to think that mankind made a distinction between blowing their planet to bits by accident and doing it by design.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
4cffd29
|
All witches who'd lived in her cottage were bookish types. They thought you could see life through books but you couldn't, the reason being that the words got in the way.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
dd964d0
|
Guilt was the grease in which the wheels of the authority turned.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
49737ff
|
I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
e3814ac
|
And then she woke up and it was all a dream.' It was just about the worst ending you could have to any story.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
4e34b4b
|
It was a Guild of Assassins, after all. Black was what you wore. The night was black and so were you. And black had such style, and an Assassin without style, everyone agreed, was just a highly paid arrogant thug.
|
|
fantasy
humor
discworld
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
20ab504
|
His parents called him Youngster. They did this in the subconcious hope that he might take the hint. Wensleydale gave the impression of having been born with a mental age of 47.
|
|
life
good-omens
|
Neil Gaiman Terry Pratchett |
|
c29e1c4
|
Slave is an Ephebian word. In Om we have no word for slave,' said Vorbis. 'So I understand,' said the Tyrant. 'I imagine that fish have no word for water.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
9adae71
|
The small alien walked past the car. "CO2 level up 0.5 percent," it rasped, giving him a meaningful look. "You do know you could find yourself charged with being a dominant species while under the influence of impulse-driven consumerism, don't you?"
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
d56339b
|
I heard this story once," she said, "where this bloke got locked up for years and years and he learned amazin' stuff about the universe and everythin' from another prisoner who was incredibly clever, and then he escaped and got his revenge." "What incredibly clever stuff do you know about the universe, Gytha Ogg?" said Granny. "Bugger all," said Nanny cheerfully. "Then we'd better bloody well escape right now."
|
|
learning
prison
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
a7ac8c8
|
A bad hunter chases, a good hunter waits.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
0dbc67c
|
This is Masher,' said Feeney. 'His father was a wild boar, his mother was surprised.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
a4529ba
|
Hrun the Barbarian, who was practilly an academic by Hub standards in that he could think without moving his lips.
|
|
humor
pratchett
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
506a8e0
|
His mouth said: "Would you like to have dinner tonight?" For just the skin of a second, Miss Dearheart was surprised, but not half as surprised as Moist. Then her natural cynicism reinflated. "I like to have dinner every night. With you? No. I have things to do. Thank you for asking." "No problem," said Moist, slightly relieved."
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
fc67e82
|
Everyone says it's going to be Snapcase at the palace. He listens to the people." "Yeah, right," said Vimes. And I listen to the thunder. But I don't do anything about it."
|
|
snapcase
pratchett
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
42b751e
|
And the people next door oppress me all night long. I tell them, I work all day, a man's got to have some time to learn to play the tuba. That's oppression, that is. If I'm not under the heel of the oppressor, I don't know who is.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
c05beed
|
The grags came down heavily on those who did not conform and seemed not to realize that this was like stamping potatoes into the mud to stop them growing.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
30e2dfb
|
Sometimes you had to take a look at yourself and then look away.
|
|
|
Terry Pratchett |
|
12e7b20
|
I told her we were going to get married, and all she could talk about was frogs. She said there's these hills where it's hot and rains all the time, and in the rainforests there are these very tall trees and right in the top branches of the trees there are these like great big flowers called . . . bromeliads, I think, and water gets into the flowers and makes little pools and there's a type of frog that lays eggs in the pools and tadpoles h..
|
|
wonder
|
Terry Pratchett |