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1d17162
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My personal theory is that he has a very firm grasp upon reality, it's simply not a reality the rest of us have ever met before.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8c0a5d8
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I don't think it's weak to admit you made a mistake. That takes strength, if you ask me.
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strength
weakness
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Terry Pratchett |
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392e954
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I imagine that fish have no word for water.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a838e98
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The universe was bad enough without people poking it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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45cb9b8
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It takes an unusual man to make up a hymn in a hurry, but such a man was Captain Roberts. He knew every hymn in and sang his way through them loudly and joyously when he was on watch, which had been one of the reasons for the mutiny.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b186a6a
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You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8ee871e
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Some magic is so old, it's hardly magic anymore.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2f610b1
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It's a popular fact that 90 percent of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. . . . It is used. One of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary, to turn the unusual into the usual. Otherwise, human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing a stupid grin, saying "Wow," a lot. Part of the brain exists to stop this from happening."
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humour
perception
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Terry Pratchett |
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ed01eee
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As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b1e828a
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Funny, reely," he said. "You spend your whole life goin' to school and learnin' stuff, and they never tell you about stuff like the Bermuda Triangle and UFOs and all these Old Masters running around the inside of the Earth. Why do we have to learn boring stuff when there's all this brilliant stuff we could be learnin', that's what I want to know."
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Terry Pratchett |
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fcc1db7
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No one actually saw it land, which raised the interesting philosophical point: When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise?
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Terry Pratchett |
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56c6c2b
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I heard the Empire has a tyrannical and repressive government!" "What form of government is that?" said Ponder Stibbons. "A tautology," said the Dean, from above." --
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Terry Pratchett |
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35a42fd
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Well, I suppose there's no place like home," she said. "No," said Granny Weatherwax, still looking thoughtful. "No. There's a billion places like home. But only one of 'em's where you live."
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Terry Pratchett |
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a399223
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You could say to the universe this is not fair. And the universe would say: Oh, isn't it? Sorry.
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life
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Terry Pratchett |
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dadbe1d
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Truth is female, since truth is beauty rather than handsomeness; this, Ridcully reflected as the council grumbled in, would certainly explain the saying that a lie could run around the world before Truth has got its, correction, her boots on, since she would have to choose which pair - the idea that any woman in a position to choose would have just one pair of boots being beyond rational belief. Indeed, as a goddess she would have lots of s..
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women
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Terry Pratchett |
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d31ca7e
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Don't you want to die nobly for a just cause?" "I'd much rather live quietly for one."
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Terry Pratchett |
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996e46a
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Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea.
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nurses
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Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman |
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1f4897c
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The wizards held that, as servants of a higher truth, they were not subject to the mundane laws of the city. The Patrician said that, indeed, this was the case, but they would bloody well pay their taxes like everyone else. The wizards said that, as followers of the light of wisdom, they owed allegiance to no mortal man. The Patrician said that this may well be true but they also owed a city tax of two hundred dollars per head per annum, pa..
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Terry Pratchett |
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4c565d4
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Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of practical magic in a world where dimensions were largely a matter of chance in any case had left it bulging in places where it shouldn't have places. There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you'd started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line.
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wizard
university
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Terry Pratchett |
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a8f61b8
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Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke.
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Terry Pratchett |
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e0808f3
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History was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started following bad orders.
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war
sam-vimes
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Terry Pratchett |
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1d151dd
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A VERY ACCURATE ONE. YOU SEE, YOU ARE HAVING A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, WHICH INESCAPABLY MEANS THAT I MUST UNDERGO A NEAR-VIMES EXPERIENCE. DON'T MIND ME. CARRY ON WITH WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING. I HAVE A BOOK.
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Terry Pratchett |
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566dcbc
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Rincewind trudged back up the beach. "The trouble is," he said, "is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so."
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Terry Pratchett |
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ed85b9f
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But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old.
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Terry Pratchett |
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856c8ec
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Bandits and governments 'ave so much in common that they might be interchangeable anywhere in the world...
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governments
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Terry Pratchett |
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c976314
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The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics.
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funny
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Terry Pratchett |
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153aaef
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The Patrician took a sip of his beer. "I have told this to few people, gentlemen, and I suspect I never will again, but one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a half-su..
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understanding
patrician
mothers
existentialism
evil
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Terry Pratchett |
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c4d366f
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You couldn't get a decent drink in either of them, for a start. And the boredom you got in Heaven was almost as bad as the excitement you got in Hell.
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hell
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Neil Gaiman Terry Pratchett |
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fe16aee
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So computers are tools of the devil?" thought Newt. He had no problem believing it. Computers had to be the tools of somebody, and all he knew for certain was that it definitely wasn't him."
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Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman |
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8594b43
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Do not seek perfection. None exists. All we can do is strive.
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Terry Pratchett |
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dff7548
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You know zat another term for an iconographer would be 'photographer'? From the old word 'photus' in Latation, vhich means--" "'To prance around like an idiot ordering everyone about as if you owned the place,'" said William. "Ah, you know it!"
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photographer
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Terry Pratchett |
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98379af
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You're not going to tell me they built fifty-foot-high killer golems, are you?" "Only a man would think of that. It's our job," said Moist. "If you don't think of fifty-foot-high killer golems first, someone else will."
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irony
men
funny
humor
weapons
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Terry Pratchett |
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dd364b7
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It had a very long pendulum, and the pendulum swung with a slow tick-tock that set his teeth on edge, because it was the the kind of delibrate, annoying ticking that wanted to make it abundantly clear that every tick and every tock was stripping another second off your life.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5106d80
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Mr. Tulip lived his life on that thin line most people occupy just before they haul off and hit someone repeatedly with a wrench.
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Terry Pratchett |
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7eb196e
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STARS EXPLODE, WORLDS COLLIDE, THERE'S HARDLY ANYWHERE IN THE UNIVERSE WHERE HUMANS CAN LIVE WITHOUT BEING FROZEN OR FRIED, AND YET YOU BELIEVE THAT A... A BED IS A NORMAL THING. IT IS THE MOST AMAZING TALENT.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3bb8fad
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As the message drained away Vimes stared at the opposite wall, in which the door now opened, after a cursory knock, to reveal the steward bearing that which is guaranteed to frighten away all nightmares, to wit, a cup of hot tea.* * The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away all demons, a little-known fact.
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Terry Pratchett |
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daa7bfc
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The Ramkins were more highly bred than a hilltop bakery, whereas Corporal Nobbs had been disqualified from the human race for shoving.
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Terry Pratchett |
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82b58f2
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They were also slightly less intelligent than he was. This is a quality you should always pray for in your would-be murderer.
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Terry Pratchett |
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69057ce
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You are very clever," said the old man shyly. "I would like to eat your brains, one day."
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Terry Pratchett |
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3a767a6
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The Librarian shyly held out a small, battered green book. Vimes had been expecting something bigger, but he took it anyway. It paid to look at any book the orangutan gave you. He matched you up to books. Vimes supposed it was a knack, in the same way that an undertaker was very good at judging heights.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a35c5bb
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Behind her, Preston grunted and said, "I know it's not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig!" Tiffany, trying to get her shattered thoughts together, muttered, "My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow..." "Is that so?" said Preston cheerfully. "Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig!"
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tiffany-aching
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Terry Pratchett |
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dfd0341
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People like that don't need a reason apart from "because I can". They have a nightmare and try to make it happen."
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Terry Pratchett |
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927209c
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She sat silently in her rocking chair. Some people are good at talking, but Granny Weatherwax was good at silence. She could sit so quiet and still that she faded. You forgot she was there. The room became empty. Tiffany thought of it as the I'm-not-here spell, if it was a spell. She reasoned that everyone had something inside them that told the world they were there. That was why you could often sense when someone was behind you, even if ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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8129392
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Here's what I suggest," he said. "You pretend that rats can think, and I'll promise to pretend that humans can think, too."
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Terry Pratchett |