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e1d6376
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In short, what people think they want is news, but what they really crave is olds.
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Terry Pratchett |
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628a54e
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Only Granny Weatherwax really knew Granny Weatherwax.
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Terry Pratchett |
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74ea54b
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I often thought that everyone has their, you know, natural age.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a63f0a2
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You made a choice, you get what you choose.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f583c1b
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A unicorn is nothing more than a big horse that comes to a point, anyway. Nothing to get so excited about.
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Terry Pratchett |
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554e3f4
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But most of all in the last couple of years I have been listening. As a journalist, I learned to listen. It is amazing how much people will tell you if you listen in the right way. Rob, my PA, says that I can listen like a vacuum cleaner. Always beware of somebody who is a really good listener.
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Terry Pratchett |
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f087c4f
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You didn't have to know Pilu for long to see that he floated through life like a coconut on the ocean. He always bobbed up. There was some sort of natural spring of cheerfulness that bubbled to the surface. Sadness was like a cloud across the sun, soon past. Sorrow was tucked away somewhere in his head, locked up in a cage with a blanket over it, like the captain's parrot.
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Terry Pratchett |
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9c66b29
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He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8fcea3f
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what was once considered impossible is now quite easily achieved. Kings and lords come and go and leave nothing but statues in a desert, while a couple of young men tinkering in a workshop change the way the world works.
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Terry Pratchett |
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1f2be27
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The man gave Dodger a cursory glance that had quite a lot of curse in it.
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humor
dodger
glance
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Terry Pratchett |
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afecb97
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Royalty pollutes people's minds, boy. honest men start bowing and bobbing just because someone's granddad was a bigger murdering bastard than theirs was.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4e3da68
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There was a sliding noise and a tinkle exactly like the tinkle a spoon makes when it's put back among the other spoons, who have missed it and are anxious to hear its tales of life among the frighteningly pointy people.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3af553b
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A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what the size of the onion, the dish or the woman
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woman
onion
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Terry Pratchett |
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dc855b1
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No-one likes being told it's their lucky day. That sort of thing does not bode well. When someone tells you it's your lucky day, something bad is about to happen.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0d37682
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I've been given something for a while, and the price of it is that I have to give it back.
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Terry Pratchett |
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782d9df
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Demons have existed on the Discworld for at least as long as the gods, who in many ways they closely resemble. The difference is basically the same as that between terrorists and freedom fighters.
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Terry Pratchett |
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1a18d21
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Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir,' said Carrot 'What, in Ankh-Morpork?' 'Yes, sir.' 'We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value
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humor
innocent-bystander
sarcasm
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Terry Pratchett |
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68293ea
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Three very crowded hours went past. They involved quite a lot of phone calls, telexes, and faxes. Twenty-seven people were got out of bed in quick succession and they got another fifty-three out of bed, because if there is one thing a man wants to know when he's woken up in a panic at 4:00 A.M., it's that he's not alone.
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Terry Pratchett |
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16f5bf8
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Nanny just tended to put a hot poultice on everything and recommend a large glass of whatever the patient liked best on the basis that since you were going to be ill anyway you might as well get some enjoyment out of it.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5533ed0
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He removed his hat, something a wizard doesn't ordinarily do unless he's about to pull something out of it, and handed it to the Bursar. Then he tore a thin strip off the bottom of his robe, held it dramatically in both hands, and tied it around his forehead. "It's part of the ethos," he said, in answer to their penetratingly unspoken question. "That's what the warriors on the Counterweight Continent do before they go into battle. And you ..
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Terry Pratchett |
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03d914e
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He felt eyes suddenly upon him because marital telepathy is a terrible thing
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Terry Pratchett |
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9d060e0
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The night is always old. He'd walked too often down dark streets in the secret hours and felt the night stretching away, and known in his blood that while days and kings and empires come and go, the night is always the same age, always aeons deep. Terrors unfolded in the velvet shadows and while the nature of the talons may change, the nature of the beast does not.
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Terry Pratchett |
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a06f7be
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I THINK PERHAPS YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. PEOPLE'S WHOLE LIVES DO PASS IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES BEFORE THEY DIE. THE PROCESS IS CALLED "LIVING." WOULD YOU LIKE A PRAWN?"
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Terry Pratchett |
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7472010
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If they look as though they're worried, we'll move in.' 'And do what exactly?' said Polly. 'Threaten to shoot them,' said Maladict firmly. 'And if they don't believe us?' 'Then we'll threaten to shoot them ,' said Maladict. 'Happy? And I hope to hell they've got some coffee!
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humor
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Terry Pratchett |
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60c2373
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WITCHES ARE MATRILINEAL, said Death. THEY FIND IT MUCH EASIER TO CHANGE MEN THAN TO CHANGE NAMES.
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Terry Pratchett |
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dc94131
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It's hard to be an ornithologist and walk through a wood when all around you the world is shouting: 'Bugger off, this is my bush! Aargh, the nest thief! Have sex with me, I can make my chest big and red!
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Terry Pratchett |
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e3762ad
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Greebo turned upon Granny Weatherwax a yellow-eyed stare of self-satisfied malevolence, such as cats always reserve for people who don't like them, and purred. Greebo was possibly the only cat who could snigger in purr.
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Terry Pratchett |
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e3187d2
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If the abnormal goes on long enough it becomes the normal.
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Terry Pratchett |
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cadc09e
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In the swamp the alligators drifted like patches of bad-assed water.
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Terry Pratchett |
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dac21ea
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You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you're good at that, I'll grant you. But the trouble is it's the only thing you're good at. One day it's the ringing of the bells and the casting down of the evil tyrant, and the next it's everyone sitting around complaining that ever since the tyrant was overthrown no one's been taking out the trash. Because the bad people know how to plan. It's part of..
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humor
inspirational
vetinari
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Terry Pratchett |
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b27666e
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People couldn't become truly holy, he said, unless they also had the opportunity to be definitively wicked. Crowley had thought about this for some time and, around about 1023, had said, Hang on, that only works, right, if you start everyone off equal, okay? You can't start someone off in a muddy shack in the middle of a war zone and expect them to do as well as someone born in a castle. Ah, Aziraphale had said, that's the good bit. The low..
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Terry Pratchett |
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422847a
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There's always something to eat, if you're hungry enough.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b2533a1
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There was always something that you had to do before you could do the thing you wanted to do and even then you might get it wrong.
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Terry Pratchett |
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7372291
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Agnes felt that beauty was even more likely to be in the eye of the beholder if the feet of the beholder were on something solid. At ten thousand feet up, the eye of the beholder tends to water.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8925b33
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the queen appeared as innocent as one of those mountains which smoke a little, and then one day end up causing a whole civilization to become an art installation
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Terry Pratchett |
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a88e9de
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Rough Music... "No one controls the music, Mr. Pretty - you know that. It just turns up when people have had enough. No one knows where it starts. People look around, and catch on another's eye, and give each other a little nod, and other people see that. Other people catch their eye and so, very slowly, the music starts and somebody picks up a spoon and bangs it on a plate, and then somebody else bangs a jug on the table and boots starts t..
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Terry Pratchett |
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c73d1c9
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OH. DRAMA. Oh, hell.
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Terry Pratchett |
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ac06c8a
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New things, new ideas arrived and strutted their stuff and were vilified by some and then lo! that which had been a monster was suddenly totally important to the world.
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Terry Pratchett |
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976208c
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This is called the theory of narrative causality and it means that a story, once started, takes a shape. It picks up all the vibrations of all the other workings of that story that have ever been. This is why history keeps on repeating all the time.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0cdb572
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Coppers were always outnumbered, so being a copper only worked when people let it work. If they refocused and realized you were just another standard idiot with a pennyworth of metal for a badge, you could end up as a smear on the pavement.
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Terry Pratchett |
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d7e77c5
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Some people say you achieve immortality through your children," said the minstrel. "Yeah?" said Cohen. "Name one of your great-granddads, then."
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Terry Pratchett |
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89fd88b
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Sham Harga had run a successful eatery for many years by always smiling, never extending credit, and realizing that most of his customers wanted meals properly balanced between the four food groups: sugar, starch, grease, and burnt crunchy bits.
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Terry Pratchett |
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63e7a60
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Mr. Young hadn't had to quiet a screaming baby for years. H'ed never been much good at it to start with. He'd always respected Sir Winston Churchill, and patting small versions of him on the bottom had always seemed ungracious.
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Neil Gaiman Terry Pratchett |
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6aefe83
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Well, Hell was worse, of course, by definition. But Crowley remembered what Heaven was like, and it had quite a few things in common with Hell. You couldn't get a decent drink in either of them, for a start. And the boredom you got in Heaven was almost as bad as the excitement you got in Hell.
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humor
hell
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Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman |