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666fcdf
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Fear is a strange soil. It grows obedience like corn, which grow in straight lines to make weeding easier. But sometimes it grows the potatoes of defiance, which flourish underground.
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obedience
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Terry Pratchett |
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503df66
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They didn't know why these things were funny. Sometimes you laugh because you've got no more room for crying. Sometimes you laugh because table manners on a beach are funny. And sometimes you laugh because you're alive, when you really shouldn't be.
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Terry Pratchett |
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429b2fa
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A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.
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truth
rumors
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Terry Pratchett |
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aeab819
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Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they're allowed to be parents. Not just the practical, I mean.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5bb8e45
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Grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue.
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Terry Pratchett |
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b95bf6e
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Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.
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Terry Pratchett |
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3054628
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Twoflower was a tourist, the first ever seen on the discworld. Tourist, Rincewind had decided, meant 'idiot'.
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idiot
rincewind
tourism
twoflower
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Terry Pratchett |
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e25868d
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All witches are selfish, the Queen had said. But Tiffany's Third Thoughts said: Then turn selfishness into a weapon! Make all things yours! Make other lives and dreams and hopes yours! Protect them! Save them! Bring them into the sheepfold! Walk the gale for them! Keep away the wolf! My dreams! My brother! My family! My land! My world! How dare you try to take these things, because !
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Terry Pratchett |
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893c935
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A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
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Terry Pratchett |
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300c6a9
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Yes! I'm ! I am careful and logical and I look up things I don't understand! When I hear people use the wrong words, I get edgy! I am good with cheese. I read books fast! I ! And I always have a piece of string! That's the kind of person I am!
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self-awareness
nerdy
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Terry Pratchett |
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4d5fd4c
|
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
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Terry Pratchett |
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4100dd9
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People flock in, nevertheless, in search of answers to those questions only librarians are considered to be able to answer, such as "Is this the laundry?" "How do you spell surreptitious?" and, on a regular basis, "Do you have a book I remember reading once? It had a red cover and it turned out they were twins."
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libraries
librarians
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Terry Pratchett |
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0dd87dd
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I DON'T HOLD WITH CRUELTY TO CATS.
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death
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Terry Pratchett |
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b4ad9fa
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Knowing things is magical, if other people don't know them.
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Terry Pratchett |
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2ce1e28
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The stories never said why she was wicked. It was enough to be an old woman, enough to be all alone, enough to look strange because you have no teeth. It was enough to be called a witch. If it came to that, the book never gave you the evidence of anything. It talked about "a handsome prince"... was he really, or was it just because he was a prince that people called handsome? As for "a girl who was as beautiful as the day was long"... well,..
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Terry Pratchett |
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5a33734
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Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.
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Terry Pratchett |
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ea43c1c
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Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it, and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Of..
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Terry Pratchett |
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f877f99
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Of course, it is very important to be sober when you take an exam. Many worthwhile careers in the street-cleansing, fruit-picking and subway-guitar-playing industries have been founded on a lack of understanding of this simple fact.
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sobriety
exams
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Terry Pratchett |
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38b735d
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I hate cats." Death's face became a little stiffer, if that were possible. The blue glow in his eye sockets flickered red for an instant. "I SEE," he said. The tone suggested that death was too good for cat haters."
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Terry Pratchett |
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a2a4c10
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I can see we're going to get along like a house on fire," said Miss Tick. "There may be no survivors."
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Terry Pratchett |
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dd15601
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No more words. We know them all, all the words that should not be said. But you have made my world more perfect.
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Terry Pratchett |
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495777f
|
You're not allowed to call them dinosaurs any more," said Yo-less. "It's speciesist. You have to call them pre-petroleum persons."
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humour
euphemism
political-correctness
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Terry Pratchett |
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fd73e9d
|
My name is immaterial,' she said. That's a pretty name,' said Rincewind.
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Terry Pratchett |
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5886f06
|
Gods don't like people not doing much work. People who aren't busy all the time might start to think.
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religion
|
Terry Pratchett |
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0f4cdbf
|
And then Jack chopped down what was the world's last beanstalk, adding murder and ecological terrorism to the theft, enticement, and trespass charges already mentioned, and all the giant's children didn't have a daddy anymore. But he got away with it and lived happily ever after, without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done...which proves that you can be excused for just about anything if you are a hero, because no one asks inc..
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Terry Pratchett |
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b78b5bb
|
You can't give her that!' she screamed. 'It's not safe!' IT'S A SWORD, said the Hogfather. THEY'RE NOT MEANT TO BE SAFE. 'She's a child!' shouted Crumley. IT'S EDUCATIONAL. 'What if she cuts herself?' THAT WILL BE AN IMPORTANT LESSON.
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lessons
humour
death
humor
discworld
hogfather
important-lessons
swords
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Terry Pratchett |
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eebfc97
|
Noble dragons don't have friends. The nearest they can get to the idea is an enemy who is still alive.
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friends
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Terry Pratchett |
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543d54e
|
Lots of people would be as cowardly as me if they were brave enough.
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Terry Pratchett |
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98743d9
|
Nanny's philosophy of life was to do what seemed like a good idea at the time, and do it as hard as possible. It had never let her down.
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Terry Pratchett |
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08b1f51
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Sometimes the truth is arrived at by adding all the little lies together and deducting them from the totality of what is known.
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postal
|
Terry Pratchett |
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84e08cb
|
Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle.
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miracle
god
|
Terry Pratchett |
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32c6a0f
|
Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.
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Terry Pratchett |
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d6684be
|
and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.
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Terry Pratchett |
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aaabaa9
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Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar.
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paraphrased
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Terry Pratchett |
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f28ab34
|
Mister Teatime had a truly brilliant mind, but it was brilliant like a fractured mirror, all marvellous facets and rainbows but, ultimately, also something that was broken.
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Terry Pratchett |
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6c6c7ec
|
And then there were cats, thought Dog. He'd surprised the huge ginger cat from next door and had attempted to reduce it to cowering jelly by means of the usual glowing stare and deep-throated growl, which had always worked on the damned in the past. This time they had earned him a whack on the nose that had made his eyes water. Cats, Dog considered, were clearly a lot tougher than lost souls. He was looking forward to a further cat experime..
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dogs
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Terry Pratchett |
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716a683
|
It was sad, like those businessmen who came to work in serious clothes but wore colorful ties in a mad, desperate attempt to show there was a free spirit in there somewhere.
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Terry Pratchett |
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8d39910
|
The Ephebians believed that every man should have the vote (provided that he wasn't poor, foreign, nor disqualified by reason of being mad, frivolous, or a woman). Every five years someone was elected to be Tyrant, provided he could prove that he was honest, intelligent, sensible, and trustworthy. Immediately after he was elected, of course, it was obvious to everyone that he was a criminal madman and totally out of touch with the view of t..
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Terry Pratchett |
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e658fe9
|
Perhaps it would be simpler if you just did what you're told and didn't try to understand things.
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Terry Pratchett |
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0632e42
|
A witch ought never to be frightened in the darkest forest, Granny Weatherwax had once told her, because she should be sure in her soul that the most terrifying thing in the forest was her.
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witches
witchcraft
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Terry Pratchett |
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947156e
|
The purpose of this lectchoor is to let you know where we are. We are in the deep cack. It couldn't be worse if it was raining arseholes. Any questions?
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Terry Pratchett |
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7213e79
|
On the Disc, the Gods aren't so much worshipped, as they are blamed.
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religion
|
Terry Pratchett |
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1af0f47
|
The Monks of Cool, whose tiny and exclusive monastery is hidden in a really cool and laid-back valley in the lower Ramtops, have a passing-out test for a novice. He is taken into a room full of all types of clothing and asked: Yo, my son, which of these is the most stylish thing to wear? And the correct answer is: Hey, whatever I select.
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Terry Pratchett |
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bbd5078
|
Look, he said to his imagination, if this is how you're going to behave, I shan't bring you again.
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Terry Pratchett |