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1d8bb6c There will be justice," said Brutha. "If there is no justice, there is nothing." Terry Pratchett
4f2b529 And if you couldn't trust the government, who could you trust? Very nearly everyone, come to think of it... Terry Pratchett
b62f655 And, er, these stories about you..." "Oh, all true. Most of them. A bit of exaggeration, but mostly true." "The one about the Citadel in Muntab and the Pash and the fish bone?" "Oh, yes." "But how did you get in where half a dozen armed and trained men couldn't even - ?" "I am a little man and I carry a broom," said Lu-Tze simply. "Everyone has some mess that needs clearing up. What harm is a man with a broom?" "What? And that was ?" "Well.. humourous Terry Pratchett
34c1d6e Tiffany read the sign and smiled. "Aha," she said. There was nothing to knock on, so she added "Knock, knock" in a louder voice. A woman's voice from within said: "Who's there?" "Tiffany," said Tiffany. "Tiffany who?" said the voice. "Tiffany who isn't trying to make a joke." Terry Pratchett
b7b17b5 People said there had to be a Supreme Being because otherwise how could the universe exist, eh? And of course there clearly had to be, said Koomi, a Supreme Being. But since the universe was a bit of a mess, it was obvious that the Supreme Being hadn't in fact made it. If he had made it he would, being Supreme, have made a better job of it, with far better thought given, taking an example at random, to things like the design of the common n.. humor prayer religion satire Terry Pratchett
e8650a1 Nanny Ogg could see the future in the froth on a beer mug. It invariably showed that she was going to enjoy a refreshing drink which she almost certainly was not going to pay for. Terry Pratchett
296f1aa It was, according to the history books, the fastest coronation since Bubric the Saxon crowned himself with a very pointy crown on a hill during a thunderstorm, and reigned for one and a half seconds. Terry Pratchett
f17be56 Escapism isn't good or bad of itself. What is important is what you are escaping from and where you are escaping to. I write from experience, since in my case I escaped to the idea that books could be really enjoyable, an aspect of reading that teachers had not hitherto suggested. how-we-teach-reading-to-children reading Terry Pratchett
205ef5f Well, he thought, so this is diplomacy. It's lying, only for a better class of people. Terry Pratchett
1d17162 My personal theory is that he has a very firm grasp upon reality, it's simply not a reality the rest of us have ever met before. Terry Pratchett
8c0a5d8 I don't think it's weak to admit you made a mistake. That takes strength, if you ask me. strength weakness Terry Pratchett
392e954 I imagine that fish have no word for water. Terry Pratchett
a838e98 The universe was bad enough without people poking it. Terry Pratchett
45cb9b8 It takes an unusual man to make up a hymn in a hurry, but such a man was Captain Roberts. He knew every hymn in and sang his way through them loudly and joyously when he was on watch, which had been one of the reasons for the mutiny. Terry Pratchett
b186a6a You were safe on a troll. Anyone wanting to mug a troll would have to use a building on a stick. Terry Pratchett
8ee871e Some magic is so old, it's hardly magic anymore. Terry Pratchett
2f610b1 It's a popular fact that 90 percent of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. . . . It is used. One of its functions is to make the miraculous seem ordinary, to turn the unusual into the usual. Otherwise, human beings, faced with the daily wondrousness of everything, would go around wearing a stupid grin, saying "Wow," a lot. Part of the brain exists to stop this from happening." humour perception Terry Pratchett
ed01eee As they say in Discworld, we are trying to unravel the Mighty Infinite using a language which was designed to tell one another where the fresh fruit was. Terry Pratchett
b1e828a Funny, reely," he said. "You spend your whole life goin' to school and learnin' stuff, and they never tell you about stuff like the Bermuda Triangle and UFOs and all these Old Masters running around the inside of the Earth. Why do we have to learn boring stuff when there's all this brilliant stuff we could be learnin', that's what I want to know." Terry Pratchett
fcc1db7 No one actually saw it land, which raised the interesting philosophical point: When millions of tons of angry elephant come spinning through the sky, but there is no one to hear it, does it - philosophically speaking - make a noise? Terry Pratchett
56c6c2b I heard the Empire has a tyrannical and repressive government!" "What form of government is that?" said Ponder Stibbons. "A tautology," said the Dean, from above." -- Terry Pratchett
35a42fd Well, I suppose there's no place like home," she said. "No," said Granny Weatherwax, still looking thoughtful. "No. There's a billion places like home. But only one of 'em's where you live." Terry Pratchett
a399223 You could say to the universe this is not fair. And the universe would say: Oh, isn't it? Sorry. life Terry Pratchett
dadbe1d Truth is female, since truth is beauty rather than handsomeness; this, Ridcully reflected as the council grumbled in, would certainly explain the saying that a lie could run around the world before Truth has got its, correction, her boots on, since she would have to choose which pair - the idea that any woman in a position to choose would have just one pair of boots being beyond rational belief. Indeed, as a goddess she would have lots of s.. women Terry Pratchett
d31ca7e Don't you want to die nobly for a just cause?" "I'd much rather live quietly for one." Terry Pratchett
996e46a Sister Mary was a nurse and nurses, whatever their creed, are primarily nurses, which had a lot to do with wearing your watch upside down, keeping calm in emergencies, and dying for a cup of tea. nurses Terry Pratchett Neil Gaiman
1f4897c The wizards held that, as servants of a higher truth, they were not subject to the mundane laws of the city. The Patrician said that, indeed, this was the case, but they would bloody well pay their taxes like everyone else. The wizards said that, as followers of the light of wisdom, they owed allegiance to no mortal man. The Patrician said that this may well be true but they also owed a city tax of two hundred dollars per head per annum, pa.. Terry Pratchett
4c565d4 Unseen University was much bigger on the inside. Thousands of years as the leading establishment of practical magic in a world where dimensions were largely a matter of chance in any case had left it bulging in places where it shouldn't have places. There were rooms containing rooms which, if you entered them, turned out to contain the room you'd started with, which can be a problem if you are in a conga line. university wizard Terry Pratchett
a8f61b8 Priests were metal-reinforced overshoes. They saved your soles. This is an Assassin joke. Terry Pratchett
e0808f3 History was full of the bones of good men who'd followed bad orders in the hope that they could soften the blow. Oh, yes, there were worse things they could do, but most of them began right where they started following bad orders. sam-vimes war Terry Pratchett
1d151dd A VERY ACCURATE ONE. YOU SEE, YOU ARE HAVING A NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCE, WHICH INESCAPABLY MEANS THAT I MUST UNDERGO A NEAR-VIMES EXPERIENCE. DON'T MIND ME. CARRY ON WITH WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING. I HAVE A BOOK. Terry Pratchett
566dcbc Rincewind trudged back up the beach. "The trouble is," he said, "is that things never get better, they just stay the same, only more so." Terry Pratchett
ed85b9f But in cynicism and general world weariness, which is a sort of carbon dating of the personality, he was about seven thousand years old. Terry Pratchett
856c8ec Bandits and governments 'ave so much in common that they might be interchangeable anywhere in the world... governments Terry Pratchett
c976314 The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics. funny Terry Pratchett
153aaef The Patrician took a sip of his beer. "I have told this to few people, gentlemen, and I suspect I never will again, but one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a half-su.. evil existentialism mothers patrician understanding Terry Pratchett
6bf16a6 Taxis are expensive for moderately employed dwarfs who rent extra apartments, swim at private clubs, and fancy themselves as righteous assassins. Katherine Dunn
ea96b57 After a while, footsteps sounded on the flagstones outside and there was a gentle tap at the door. Of course, one of them would come. So close were we, the seven of us, that no childhood injury went unnoticed, no slight, real or imagined, went unaddressed, no hurt was endured without comfort. Juliet Marillier
df8f998 You don't like it that I am the one you need to keep the wolf from the door; that comes as no surprise. But I am the one you have. At some point we'll both have to risk telling the truth. Juliet Marillier
db4f7cd Perhaps the immutable error of parenthood is that we give our children what we wanted, whether they want it or not. We heal our wounds with the love we wish we'd received, but are often blind to the wounds we inflict. Andrew Solomon
83f1bfe It's just as easy to be lonely in a city as out in the wilderness. Easier, really. It's harder to get to know someone when you meet in a crowded place. People can freely ignore you in the city; they can assume they don't have any responsibility for you. When there are fewer people, (...) they begin assuming some kind of responsibility, simply because you naturally do the same. Mercedes Lackey
5eabae6 Pretend long enough that you belong, and eventually even you will believe it." - Gallen" Mercedes Lackey
f85696c That's the thing about living vicariously; it's so much faster than actual living. life life-quotes literature living quotes Audrey Niffenegger
62c7a7c And Clare, always Clare. Audrey Niffenegger