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28f8647 Look, how about this? Let's pretend we've had the row and I've won. See? It saves a lot of effort. Terry Pratchett
d2ab1e7 Vimes had never mastered ambition. It was something that happened to other people. Terry Pratchett
bd4cc47 Genuine anger was one of the world's great creative forces. But you had to learn how to control it. That didn't mean you let it trickle away. It meant you dammed it, carefully, let it develop a working head, let it drown whole valleys of the mind and then, just when the whole structure was about to collapse, opened a tiny pipeline at the base and let the iron-hard stream of wrath power the turbines of revenge. Terry Pratchett
f4b11ac Sam Vimes could parallel process. Most husbands can. They learn to follow their own line of thought while at the same time listening to what their wives say. And the listening is important, because at any time they could be challenged and must be ready to quote the last sentence in full. A vital additional skill is being able to scan the dialogue for telltale phrases, such as "and they can deliver it tomorrow" or "so I've invited them for d.. Terry Pratchett
bd8d32d I know nothing about her. Just some books, and some stories she tried to tell me, and things I didn't understand, and I remember big red soft hands and that smell. I never knew who she really was. I mean, she must have been nine too, once. grandmothers Terry Pratchett
1a64ad7 Omens were all very well, but sometimes it would help if people just wrote things down. Terry Pratchett
04cbb3b Your friend Mr. Tulip would perhaps like part of your payment to be the harpsichord?" said the chair. "It's not a --ing harpsichord, it's a --ing virginal," growled Mr. Tulip. "One --ing string to a note instead of two! So called because it was an instrument for --ing young ladies!" "My word, was it?" said one of the chairs. "I thought it was just of sort of early piano!" Terry Pratchett
bdd6f02 It might have interested Newt to know that, of the thirty-nine thousand women tested with the pin during the centuries of witch-hunting, twenty-nine thousand said "ouch," nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine didn't feel anything because of the use of the aforesaid retractable pins, and one witch declared that it had miraculously cleared up the arthritis in her leg." witches Terry Pratchett
394e4c5 The monk solved his immediate problem by giving a little whimper and fainting. Terry Pratchett
f88e587 We try to make guests feel welcome," said Dee, scuttling behind his desk. He pulled off his pointed hat and, to Vimes's amazement, put on a pair of thick smoked glasses. "You had papers?" he said. Vimes handed them over. "It says here "His Grace"," the dwarf said, after reading them for awhile. "Yes, that's me." "And there's a sir." "That's me, too." "And an excellency." "'fraid so." Vimes narrowed his eyes. "I was blackboard monitor for aw.. humourous Terry Pratchett
1036293 For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books people were setting such store by these days, although she was opposed to books on strict moral grounds, since she had heard that many of them were written by dead people and therefore it stood to reason reading them would be as bad as necromancy. Terry Pratchett
348e54b Why? Why not do things differently? Why should we do things how they have always been done before? And something inside her suddenly thrilled to the challenge. Terry Pratchett
93004f3 PRAY TELL ME, WHY WERE YOU CONTENT TO LIVE IN THIS TINY LITTLE COUNTRY WHEN, AS YOU KNOW, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING AND ANYBODY IN THE WORLD? "I don't know about the world, not much; but in my part of the world I could make little miracles for ordinary people," Granny replied sharply. "And I never wanted the world--just a part of it, a small part that I could keep safe, that I could keep away from storms. Not the ones of the sky, you und.. Terry Pratchett
6b2cdb0 either the gods are there whether you believe or not, or exist only as a function of the belief, so either way you might as well ignore the whole business... Terry Pratchett
80beff0 Mrs. Earwig (pronounced Ar-wige, at least by Mrs. Earwig) believed in shiny wands, and magical amulets and mystic runes and the power of the stars, while Granny Weatherwax in cups of tea, dry biscuits, washing every morning in cold water and, well...mostly she believed in Granny Weatherwax. Terry Pratchett
5d75d06 BUT MOST PEOPLE ARE RATHER STUPID AND WASTE THEIR LIVES. HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THAT? HAVE YOU NOT LOOKED DOWN FROM THE HORSE AT A CITY AND THOUGHT HOW MUCH IT RESEMBLED AN ANT HEAP, FULL OF BLIND CREATURES WHO THINK THEIR MUNDANE LITTLE WORLD WAS REAL? YOU SEE THE LIGHTED WINDOWS AND WHAT YOU WANT TO THINK IS THAT THERE MAY BE MANY INTERESTING STORIES BEHIND THEM, BUT WHAT YOU KNOW IS THAT REALLY THERE ARE JUST DULL, DULL SOULS, MERE CONSUMERS .. soul-music susan-sto-helit Terry Pratchett - Soul Music
79b26bf Goodbye," Mort said, and was surprised to find a lump in his throat. "It's such an unpleasant word, isn't it?" QUITE SO. Death grinned because, as has so often been remarked, he didn't have much option. But possibly he meant it, this time. I PREFER AU REVOIR, he said." Terry Pratchett
929d5a9 Can't we do anything about it?" - "No!" - "Then I can't see the sense in panicking", said Twoflower calmly" humor pratchett ricewind twoflower Terry Pratchett
fa0e29e You see and hear what others canna', the world opens up its secrets to ye, but ye're always like the person at the party with the wee drink in the corner who cannae join in. There's a little bitty bit inside ye that willnae melt and flow. Terry Pratchett
c4c250b I know it's not the right thing to say to a lady, miss, but you are sweating like a pig!" "My mother always said that horses sweat, men perspire, and ladies merely glow..." "Is that so? Well, miss, you are glowing like a pig!" Terry Pratchett
f048a71 Everything is magic when you don't know what it is. Your sliding rule is a magic wand to most people. Terry Pratchett
2aa737e Learning how not to do things is as hard as learning how to do them. Harder, maybe. There'd be a sight more frogs in this world if I didn't know how not to turn people into them. And big pink balloons, too. pink-balloons transformation Terry Pratchett
c136988 The mountains of madness have many little plateaux of sanity. Terry Pratchett
d7e4da0 Bee there Orr Bee A Rectangular Thyng Terry Pratchett
b6c6782 And the Nac Mac Feegle are, well, they're like tiny little Scottish Smurfs who have seen Braveheart altogether too many times. Terry Pratchett
f24aa88 It didn't look like the kind of snow that whispers down gently in the pit of the night and in the morning turns the landscape into a glittering wonderland of uncommon and ethereal beauty. It looked like the kind of snow that intends to make the world as bloody cold as possible. Terry Pratchett
558315b Daft Wullie had raised a finger. 'Point o' order, Rob,' he said, 'but it was a wee bittie hurtful there for you to say I dinna hae the brains of a beetle...' Rob hesitated, but only for a moment. 'Aye, Daft Wullie, ye are right in whut ye say. It was unricht o' me to say that. It was the heat o' the moment, an' I am full sorry for it. As I stand here before ye now, I will say: Daft Wullie, ye DO hae the brains o' a beetle, an' I'll fight an.. humor Terry Pratchett
01235dd The price for being the best is always... having to be the best. Terry Pratchett
b9d7243 what people mean to do and what is done are two different things Terry Pratchett
949e987 Our skills, you will find, could be our jailers. Terry Pratchett
1517d13 Silence fell like a hammer made of feathers. It left holes in the shape of the sound of the sea. hammer holes nation sea silence Terry Pratchett
92d6b3c The worst part, the part, was that Lord de Worde was never wrong. It was not a position he understood in relation to his personal geography. People who took an opposing view were insane, or dangerous, or possibly even not really people. You couldn't have an argument with Lord de Worde. Not a proper argument. An argument, from , meant to debate and discuss and persuade by reason. What you could have with William's father was a flaming row.. argument discussion politics Terry Pratchett
f17f214 Sometimes scientists change their minds. New developments cause a rethink. If this bothers you, consider how much damage is being done to the world by people for whom new developments do not cause a rethink. Terry Pratchett
37efe95 We were born vampires." "I thought you became -" "-- vampires by being bitten? Dear me, no. Oh, we can turn people into vampires, it's an easy technique, but what would be the point? When you eat... now what is it you eat? Oh yes, chocolate... you don't want to turn it into another Agnes Nitt, do you? Less chocolate to go around." He sighed. "Oh dear, superstition, superstition everywhere we turn." Terry Pratchett
935dd76 He's a bit set in his ways." "Congealed, I should think." Terry Pratchett
7c1304a One of the things that makes folks even more jolly is knowing there're people who ain't. Terry Pratchett
10b8dbd Gentlemen, please," said the Patrician. He shook his head. "Let's have no fighting, please. This is, after all, a council of war." Terry Pratchett
cab40e7 Lu-Tze had long considered that everything happens for a reason, except possibly football. Terry Pratchett
478b65c Dullness. Only humans could have invented it. What imaginations they had. imagination Terry Pratchett
ea39643 Not long ago I was invited to a librarians' event by a lady who cheerfully told me, "We like to think of ourselves as 'information providers.'" I was appalled by this want of ambition; I made my excuses and didn't go. After all, if you have a choice, why not call yourselves "Shining Acolytes of the Sacred Flame of Literacy in a Dark and Encroaching Universe"? I admit this is hard to put on a button, so why not abbreviate it to "librarians"?.. Terry Pratchett
1a33c59 Dwarfs are very attached to gold. Any highwayman demanding 'Your money or your life' had better bring a folding chair and packed lunch and a book to read while the debate goes on. Terry Pratchett
2c10421 It was, he felt, a persistent flaw in his wife's otherwise practical and sensible character that she believed, against all evidence, that he was a man of many talents. He he had hidden depths. There was nothing in them that he'd like to see float to the surface. They contained things that should be left to lie. sam-vimes the-beast Terry Pratchett
78ad1a1 Do Unto Others Before They Do Unto You. Kill or Be Killed. Either Shit or Get Out of the Kitchen. Survival of the Fittest. Make My Day. Terry Pratchett
7d3d3ff What will you do?" said Susan. "Lie," said Lu-Tze happily. "It's amazing how often that works." Terry Pratchett