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3124a80 Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready to spend some up-close and personal time with ninety pounds of barbarian woman-flesh! Sorry, I don't know how much that is in kilos." Christopher Moore
5a17a9e Sophie marched away in rhythm to her new chant, "not in the butt - not in the butt - not in the butt." Christopher Moore
1b61ede Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones. humor series vampires Christopher Moore
d692a2a It is accepted science that God himself gave the French the gift of their cuisine, and while he was downstairs, cursed the English with theirs. Christopher Moore
bce7aee But I have known many women--many women indeed, and it is in their nature to confound us, Othello. They are all by their natures lovely lunatics. Christopher Moore
01c9a6c Okey dokey, fire up the blender, let's make a furry-flurry smoothie out of that squirrel! Christopher Moore
c604efa and thus he found his single source of joy in the society of other people: frightening the girls with his penis. Christopher Moore
9ae2ebf There is no such thing as a conservative hero. Christopher Moore
8c49d53 Theophilus Crowe wrote bad free-verse poetry and played a jimbai drum while sitting on a rock by the ocean. He could play sixteen chords on the guitar and knew five Bob Dylan songs all the way through, allowing for a dampening buzz any time he had to play a bar chord. He had tried his hand at painting, sculpture, and pottery and had even played a minor part in the Pine Cove Little Theater's revival of Arsenic and Old Lace. In all of these e.. Christopher Moore
1e01519 Minty now held his arms out to his sides, angry Jesus style, -- that look. secondhand-souls Christopher Moore
c2d8068 Wiggly Charlie lived in a big house with his friends Audrey and Big Charlie. He liked mozzarella cheese sticks, chasing his tennis ball, and putting his purple wizard hat on his willy and pretending they were friends. Christopher Moore
5d1648e I'm not scared, Daddy. I just need some crunchy Cheese Newts up in this bitch. Christopher Moore
13f910e Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it tends to be found in the New Age music section, as well as in tropical waters...) fluke Christopher Moore
f329ba8 Charlie found himself affecting the Emperor's formal speech patterns, as if somehow he had been transported to a royal court where a nobleman was distinguished by the crumbs in his beard and the royal guard were not above licking their balls. Christopher Moore
3b3a7d8 This is fucking magic, she thought. This isn't some story out of one of Tommy's books. This isn't something you can experiment with in the bathroom. This is not natural, and whatever I am, it isn't natural. A vampire is magic, not science. Christopher Moore
b81bce0 Tucker Case did not play golf. He'd tried it once, and although he'd enjoyed the drinking and driving the little electric car into the lake, he just didn't get the appeal. It seemed--and he'd examined the game closely because his father had loved it--an awful lot like a bunch of rich white guys in goofy clothing walking around on an absurdly large lawn hitting absurdly small white balls with crooked sticks. Christopher Moore
52fe5a0 he looked like one of those dried-up faces you carve out of an apple in third grade to teach you that time is cruel and we are all just going to shrivel up and die, so there's no point in getting out of bed. Christopher Moore
8fd6af4 you know those people in the movies who can just stop their lives to fall in love, chase after being in love like they don't have anything else to do?" "Yeah." "We're not those people. I have to get to work." Christopher Moore
1add95f You motherfucking kitties need to step the fuck off! Christopher Moore
515fa33 turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero. vampires Christopher Moore
8495823 Everyone is happier if they have someone to look down on, as well as someone to look up to, especially if they resent both. This is not only the Beta Male strategy for survival, but the basis for capitalism, democracy, and most religions. Christopher Moore
fabf45c That was supposed to be the whole purpose of the Internet, you know. To share scientific information." "Not a Viagra- and porn-delivery system?" internet viagra Christopher Moore
e9d268c A wall is the defense of a country that values inaction. But a wall imprisons the people of a country as much as it protects them. Christopher Moore
c3357a9 Voila!" said the artist, in perfect fucking French." Christopher Moore
fd378ab No." Tommy turned and headed toward the door. As he reached it he turned and said, "I'm not fucked." The Sartre reader looked up from his book and said, "We all are. We all are." Christopher Moore
691e730 No one ever knew they were old-fashioned; everyone always thought they were up-to-the-minute: Rickety Model T cars weren't rickety when they were invented, scratchy radio wasn't scratchy until television, and silent movies weren't a feeble precursor of talkies until there were talkies. Your two-piece telephone that demanded that you hold a cylinder to your ear while you screeched into the wall demanding a particular exchange of a harried, p.. Arthur Phillips
ca5b372 We can what-if ourselves to death... But what-if never does anybody any good. All any of us ever have...is one thing, and we better make the most of it while we can: What . Mike Lupica
4de97b6 You can handle anything anybody throws at you, Mike Lupica
211102b He imagined himself as a sprinter now, felt his arms and legs pumping, thought of the old Cuban sprinter his father used to tell him about. Juan something? No, no. Juantarena. Alberto Juantarena. His father said it was like watching a god run. And his father, the old fool, wasn't even Cuban, he was Dominican. The only Dominican who wanted to talk about track stars instead of baseball. Mike Lupica
08455c7 The two of them shook hands the regular way. The old-school way. Mike Lupica
eb71c64 A family of three had become, in Michael Arroyo's young mind, an army of two. Mike Lupica
c1ea5c5 I glanced out of my window at the grime and decay of Temptation, comparing it to Shannon's golden world, good ole Willow's Corner. In her pricey neighborhood, red brick colonials stood tall, capped with a thick down of milk-white snow. Chimney smoke made the quiet setting look warm and friendly--like a f*cking Hallmark card. But I knew better. Behind those fancy doors, with their brass knockers and deceitful doormats that had the nerve to s.. Tanya Holmes
54aad83 Though experience should be our guide . . . and we see mistakes are common at the age of twenty-three, it must be acknowledged that not every youthful feeling begins unworthily and ends in error. If this were the case, mankind would have perished long ago. Allegra Goodman
6ef2d39 A peach, slightly unbalanced, so that it listed to one side, its hue the color of an early sunrise. Had George remembered their conversation at the party and left the peach for her to eat? Strange. For a moment she thought it might be a trompe l'oeil work of art, some fantastic piece of glass. She leaned over and sniffed. The blooming perfume was unmistakable. She touched it with the tip of her finger. The peach was not quite ripe, but it w.. jess-bach peach scent Allegra Goodman
c49ab54 Why are other people's prejudices so strange, while our own are so thought-out and reasonable? Donna Leon
1531bb3 Vianello had the knack of getting people to talk. Especially if they were Venetians, the people he interviewed invariably warmed to this large, sweet-tempered man who gave every appearance of speaking Italian reluctantly, who was only too glad to lapse into their common dialect, a linguistic change that often carried its speakers along to unconscious revelation. Donna Leon
99f5581 I tried to lose myself in books. Our house is packed with them, and we keep adding more. Like my mother, I love mystery novels and can plow through one in a single sitting. Some of my recent favorites are by Louise Penny, Jacqueline Winspear, Donna Leon, and Charles Todd. I finished reading Elena Ferrante's four Neapolitan novels and relished the story they tell about friendship among women. Our shelves are weighed down with volumes about h.. Hillary Rodham Clinton
84e36f9 He looked down at the glass again. 'I care that these things happen, that we poison ourselves and our progeny, that we knowingly destroy our future, but I do not believe that there is anything - and I repeat, anything - that can be done to prevent it. We are a nation of egoists. It is our glory, but it will be our destruction, for none of us can be made to concern ourselves about something as abstract as "the common good". The best of us ca.. Donna Leon
b4bee37 In health we're doing the digestive system. We each got assigned a topic for an oral report. I got the small intestine. I swear to god I hate my life. Lynda Barry
b1e97ea As I enter the small intestine I get squeezed by muscles. Its dark and the walls look like slimey crushed velvet theres pancreas juice on me help me I am disintigrating. Lynda Barry
142cd80 Maybonne said "Just because someone has lace-up hip huggers does not mean they can control the world". Then Magreet let her wear those pants. When my aunt saw them on her she shouted "Are you trying to kill me?!" ruling-the-world Lynda Barry
994cc1e Dear Blubbo, How is it going? It is fine here. My sisters are fine. Mom is usual. Everything is regular in life except I am still seeing the burning skull heads. Yesterday Mom took me to Sears for school clothes. I told my sisters I could see the people's head bones. They said DO NOT tell Mom. A guy moved a trailer onto the empty lot by our house. His skull is spectacular, many colors glowing. school-clothes skull-heads Lynda Barry
9636d57 Something can only become an illusion after disillusionment. Before that, it is something real. childhood disillusionment illusions lynda-barry Lynda Barry
abe3890 On my honor I will do my best to do my duty to god and my country but it might not be the same god as the god of the church and I might not be digging on the message of the president because the windmills of his mind are cracked on a lot of subjects concerning people. Lynda Barry