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820fbd7 At "tooth fairy," Sophie popped her head out the door. "I will smack that bitch up and take her bag of quarters! I will not be fucked with!" Christopher Moore
9be215d Multiple Personality Barbie. She's elegant, she's fashionable, and she's the reason that Ken has no genitals! Have fun, but remember to hide the sharp stuff! Christopher Moore
c9a51ff In business, as in politics, the public is ever so tolerant of those who slime. politics Christopher Moore
7bce4d9 Blessed are the minimarshmallows," the angel said, swooning a little." Christopher Moore
00b4770 You whoreson scalawag!" said I. "You flesh-turd dropped stinking from the poxy arsehole of a hare-lipped harlot!" Christopher Moore
6042a62 Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?" wrote Marlowe, the man Shakespeare feared for many years was the better writer, the man who with those words issued a license to misery to millions of underexperienced teenagers and thousands of overeducated middle-aged jackasses." Arthur Phillips
4067b89 He considered her ruthless, in his moments of pain, but also in moments of happiness, experienced mere feet from her but bound right wrist to left ankle by her rules: nothing could evolve, nothing could be consummated, nothing repressed could surface, nothing previously accepted could be ignored. One must not speak of it, in case one could no longer sing of it. Instead, she only kept directing his attention to the wondrously charged air the.. Arthur Phillips
7b0f27d What are you - Secret Service?' 'If I were, I wouldn't admit it.' 'And you're not admitting it, I notice. witty witty-comebacks witty-comments Robert Goddard
95fb1b4 But that is the funny thing about dreams...Just when you are sure you have a good one, an even better one comes along. Mike Lupica
a8073ae Women hate each other in science. You know why? Because the few that are around were trained by men. They survived by being twice as good and twice as competitive and twice as badass as the guys. Allegra Goodman
e81fe9e We've got an acquisitive gene. We want and want, and there's no way around it. Allegra Goodman
eaeb8e9 The new one actually reads, but only to pass judgment. This is the way kids learn today. Someone told them how you feel is more important than what you know, and so they think accusations are ideas. This is political correction run amok. Allegra Goodman
8ee96d4 Leaving this changeling for George, she washed his ripe fruit, and bit and broke the skin. An intense tang, the underside of velvet. Then flesh dissolved in a rush of nectar. Juice drenched her hand and wet the inside of her wrist. She had forgotten, if she'd ever know, that what was sweet could also be so complicated, that fruit could have a nap, like fabric, soft one way, sleek the other. Allegra Goodman
747e39b Though everyone in the bar knew who he was, no one asked him about the death, though one old man did rustle his newspaper suggestively. mystery Donna Leon
edb7157 And will knowing what she reads make you know who she is?" "Can you think of a better way to tell?" reading Donna Leon
f0b7f9b She believed that books served as a mirror of the person who accumulated them. Donna Leon
3f6487c When I was little, I didn't understand that you could change a few sounds in a name or a phrase and have it mean something entirely different. When I told teachers my name was Benna and they said, "Donna who?" I would say, "Donna Gilbert." I thought close was good enough, that sloppiness was generally built into the language. I thought Bing Crosby and Bill Crosby were the same person. That Buddy Holly and Billie Holiday were the same person.. Lorrie Moore
d16cb2a Mr. Harmong is the cheapest chintziest most pig-lipped tightwad skanked-out lardo king landlord of all time. Lynda Barry
aaff68b The histories of vampires and people are not so different, really. How many of us can honestly see our own reflection? Lynda Barry
c35112a i didn't know there were different lines of aliveness, and two worlds contained by each other. Lynda Barry
e4b1013 They are my fears of him, too. But who can hinder that which will be? god-s-will salvation John Bunyan
99c7222 The adjective so often coupled with mercy is the word tender, but God's mercy is not tender; this mercy is a blunt instrument. Mercy doesn't wrap a warm, limp blanket around offenders. God's mercy is the kind that kills the thing that wronged it and resurrects something new in its place. Nadia Bolz-Weber
c7900b7 The life changing seems always bracketed by the mundane. The quotidian wrapped around the profound, like plain brown paper concealing the emotional version of an improvised explosive device. Then, in a single interminable moment, when we discover the bomb, absolutely everything changes. But when we recall it from our now forever-changed lives, when we start with the plain brown wrapping, it looks like every other package, every other mornin.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
3f2e333 I realize God may have gotten something beautiful done through me despite the fact that I am an asshole, and when I am confronted by the mercy of the gospel so much that I cannot hate my enemies, and when I am unable to judge the sin of someone else (which, let's be honest, I love to do) because my own crap is too much in the way, and when I have to bear witness to another human being's suffering despite my desire to be left alone, and when.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
4c183f4 Usually when you are grieving and someone says something so senselessly optimistic to you, it's about them. Either they want to feel like they can say something helpful, or they simply cannot allow themselves to entertain the finality and pain of death, so instead they turn it into a Precious Moments greeting card. platitudes Nadia Bolz-Weber
8a46f7a If the quality of my Christianity lies in my ability to be more inclusive than the next pastor, things get tricky because I will always, always encounter people--intersex people, Republicans, criminals, Ann Coulter, etc.--whom I don't want in the tent with me. Always. I only really want to be inclusive of some kinds of people and not of others. inclusivity judgment Nadia Bolz-Weber
2516555 I realized that sometimes the best thing we can do for each other is talk honestly about being wrong. Nadia Bolz-Weber
1970154 Church is messed up. I know that. People, including me, have been hurt by it. But as my United Church of Christ pastor friend Heather says, "Church isn't perfect. It's practice." Among God's people, those who have been knocked on their asses by the grace of God, we practice giving and receiving the undeserved. And receiving grace is basically the best shitty feeling in the world. I don't want to need it. Preferably I could just do it all .. Nadia Bolz-Weber
2a5e5bf what happens at the cross is a "blessed exchange." God gathers up all our sin, all our broken-ass junk, into God's own self and transforms all that death into life. Jesus takes our crap and exchanges it for his blessedness." Nadia Bolz-Weber
f547ae2 When these kinds of things happen in my life, things that are so clearly filled with more beauty or redemption or reconciliation than my cranky personality and stony heart could ever manufacture on their own, I just have no other explanation than this: God." Nadia Bolz-Weber" Nadia Bolz-Weber
f3b0d12 Jesus says, "Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me." He says, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first," and infuriating things like "if you seek to find your life you will lose it but those who lose their life will find it." And every single time I die to something--my notions of my own specialness, my plans and desires for something to be a very particular way--every single time I fight it and yet every single time I.. jesus sacrifice Nadia Bolz-Weber
5783e7a there was something about hearing it that was so different than just imagining it to be true. To hear I was loved meant something very particular because of the context in which I heard it, as though Jay was saying, "You are a mess, and you are loved. You have a little issue with anger, and you are loved. I've not even known you that long, and you are loved. You think you are going through this alone but you are wrong, and you are loved. Th.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
1b15c56 It's about how God continues to reach into the graves we dig for ourselves and pull us out, giving us new life, in ways both dramatic and small. Nadia Bolz-Weber
bd410e2 But the only true currency in this bankrupt world is what we share with someone else when we're uncool. Nadia Bolz-Weber
f1a270c the holy things we need for healing and sustenance are almost always the same as the ordinary things right in front of us. Nadia Bolz-Weber
0200d8f I can only look at the seemingly limited space under the tent and think either it's my job to change people so they fit or it's my job to extend the roof so that they fit. Either way, it's misguided because it's not my tent. It's God's tent. Nadia Bolz-Weber
eb7905f But we've lost the plot if we use religion as the place where we escape from difficult realities instead of as the place where those difficult realities are given meaning. Nadia Bolz-Weber
37f3ef9 This desire to learn what the faith is from those who have lived it in the face of being told they are not welcome or worthy is far more than "inclusion." Actually, inclusion isn't the right word at all, because it sounds like in our niceness and virtue we are allowing "them" to join "us"--like we are judging another group of people to be worthy of inclusion in a tent that we don't own. I realized in that coffee shop that I need the equival.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
93ee974 Our identity has nothing to do with how we are perceived by others. But it's still tempting to believe. I mean, if Jesus was vulnerable to temptation, the rest of us certainly are, whether it be temptation to self-loathing or self-aggrandizement, depression or pride, self-destruction or self-indulgence. We are tempted to doubt our innate value precisely to the degree that we are insecure about our identity from, and our relationship to, God.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
b2f3e71 I hate that this is God's economy. That the salvation of my enemy is tied up in my own. Which is why I sometimes say that the Gospel is like, the worst good news I've ever heard in my life. Nadia Bolz-Weber
279e081 Because in these healing texts, Jesus does not just cure people's diseases and cast out their demons and then say, "Mission accomplished." He's always after something more than that because the healing is never fully accomplished until there is a restoration to community." Nadia Bolz-Weber
e9aa07e I stood the next day in the copper light of sundown in the parish hall where House for All Sinners and Saints meets and confessed all of this to my congregation. I told them there had been a million reasons for me to want to be the prophetic voice for change, but every time I tried, I was confronted by my own bullshit. I told them I was unqualified to be an example of anything but needing Jesus. That evening I admitted to my congregation th.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
c6d08b8 I wasn't sure what to say, so I asked my congregation. There was passion in their replies, and none of it had to do with how much they appreciate their preacher being such an amazing role model for them. Not one of them said they love all the real-life applications they receive in the sermons for how to have a more victorious marriage. Almost all of them said they love that their preacher is so obviously preaching to herself and just allow.. Nadia Bolz-Weber
d833f0c There's a popular misconception that religion, Christianity specifically, is about knowing the difference between good and evil so that we can choose the good. But being good has never set me free the way truth has. Knowing all of this makes me love and hate Jesus at the same time. Because, when instead of contrasting good and evil, he contrasted truth and evil, I have to think about all the times I've substituted being good (or appearing t.. Nadia Bolz-Weber