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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 56a290a | You see, my plan is working. For it is written that 'if the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 332ddd8 | You have to reward them when they do what you want. I tried punishing them when they misbehaved, but the hammer seemed to crush their spirit. | Christopher Moore | ||
| aef1e03 | pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity; | Christopher Moore | ||
| 2ae30b2 | I have followed my penis into hell and returned with the story. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 4f36604 | You're right [Joshua], I have taught you nothing. I could teach you nothing. Everything that you needed to know was already there. You simply needed the word for it. Some need Kali and Shiva to destroy the world so they may see past the illusion to divinity in them, others need Krishna to drive them to the place where they may perceive what is eternal in them. Others may perceive the Divine Spark in themselves only by realizing through enli.. | divine-spark hinduism humor religion | Christopher Moore | |
| aa08147 | In the ancient world, blue was a breed of darkness. | Christopher Moore | ||
| b0450e5 | From the slope of Haleakala, the Old Broad watched the activity in the channel with a two-hundred-power celestial telescope and a pair of "big eyes" binoculars that looked like stereo bazookas on precision mounts that were anchored into a ton of concrete." | humor whales | Christopher Moore | |
| 3924a58 | IKEA," chanted the dead. "First we feast, then IKEA. First we feast, then IKEA." | Christopher Moore | ||
| ec00e88 | The image of a well-dressed older woman making on a goopish spoonful of artificial boon spooge was running across the lobes of his brain like a stuttering nightmare. | Christopher Moore | ||
| f8fe32f | Back in the buffalo days, the Cheyenne prophet Sweet Medicine had seen a vision of men with hair on their faces who would come bringing a white sand that was poison to Indians. The prophecy had come true, the white sand was sugar, and Adeline blamed the white man for poisoning her right up to two hundred pounds. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 9629f7c | A Bluesman hates to be told what to do. Authority rankles him, inspires his rebellion, and plays to his need to self-destruct. A Bluesman doesn't take to having a boss unless he's on a chain gang (for the chain gang boss ranks below only a mean old woman and a sweet young thing in the hierarchy of the Blues Muse, followed closely by bad liquor, a dead dog, and the Man). | rebels the-man the-system | Christopher Moore | |
| 1d18da9 | If you are going to learn, you need to forget what you know. - Pokey | Christopher Moore | ||
| a60d68b | This is a time in baseball when steroids have become a pretty big deal. On our team, you got Barry Bonds, who is hitting home runs like a mortar barrage, and whose head has grown to a size where when they make his promotional bobble-head, they just do the whole thing to scale, while across the bay in Oakland, Mark McGwire now has forearms like Popeye and will only speak in dialects of horse, and they're keeping Jose Canseco chained to a pos.. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 7437636 | He smiled to himself. Through many centuries and many incarnations, he had learned one universal truth: bitches love them some cushions. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 689bd0b | and in the middle of this lake is a big giant owl. Like five stories tall, which is large, in my book, for an owl. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 735fc31 | Oh, and a huge Federal Building that looked like it was being molested by a giant steel pterodactyl, but evidently that was just the government trying to get away from their standard bomb shelter architecture to something more aesthetically appealing, especially if you liked Godzilla porn. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 5158cb6 | Now, I am the younger brother of an older brother who often measured the worth of a guy by his ability to not scream under pressure, and insisted, in fact, that if any screamlike sounds ever reached Ma and/or Pa, this younger brother, me, would receive a pasting such as I had never known, including severe and painful Indian burns to the bone -- a threat my older brother, Judges, may he rest in peace, backed up with great enthusiasm through .. | manly-scream | Christopher Moore | |
| 7ec92da | The moors themselves were barer, of course. The heather still grew, but the moorland grasses were gone; the outcrops of rocks jutted like teeth in the head of a skull. | John Christopher | ||
| 52cf5db | Congratulations, you have been chosen to act as Death, it's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 55379de | Apologies, one loses perspective after spending a week in a brothel. | brothels perspective | Christopher Moore | |
| 8b30c21 | Raziel! Go forth into the land and lay waste unto two good-size Wal-Marts, slay until blood doth flow from all bargains and all the buildings are but rubble -- and pick up a few Snickers bars for yourself. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 5439db9 | Blue is beauty, not truth. "True blue" is a ruse, a rhyme; it's there, then it's not. Blue is a deeply sneaky color. Even deep blue is shallow. Blue is glory and power, a wave, a particle, a vibration, a resonance, a spirit, a passion, a memory, a vanity, a metaphor, a dream. Blue is a simile. Blue, she is like a woman." | Christopher Moore | ||
| d870c40 | Maybe life is just easier if you're a little goofy... | Christopher Moore | ||
| ccebe2f | We can build cities for the Romans." "Actually, I was thinking about saving mankind." "Forget that nonsense, Josh. Rocks, I tell you." | Christopher Moore | ||
| b5c4918 | An artist can't let madness stop him from making art, he simply has to channel it. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 1069e7a | What are you working on?" Elizabeth asked. Nate could hear her tapping a pencil on her desk. She took notes during their conversations. He didn't know what she did with the notes, but it bothered him. "I have a lecture at the sanctuary in four days." Why, why had he told her? Why? Now she'd rattle down the mountain in her ancient Mercedes that looked like a Nazi staff car, sit in the audience, and ask all the questions that she knew in adva.. | whales | Christopher Moore | |
| edfd705 | I would paint more farms," said Toulouse-Lautrec, "but they always put them so far from the bar." | Christopher Moore | ||
| 3053cf7 | You're going to need more than that to usher in the kingdom of God, Josh, no offense. We can't go home with, 'Hi, I'm the Messiah, God wanted you to have this bacon. | Christopher Moore | ||
| aebc4d3 | The sofa was lumpy enough to have had a body sewed into it; stuffing spilled out of the arms where the victim had tried to escape. | sofas | Christopher Moore | |
| f99dbe9 | Solo estando preparado para tu muerte puedes vivir plenamente>>. | Christopher Moore | ||
| d08bc88 | Although he would not remember it, when Lucien was born, the first thing he saw as he peeked over the edge of the world was Madame Lessard's bunghole. Well that can't be right, he thought. And he thought he might cry for the shock. Then the midwife flipped him over and the second thing he saw was the blue sky through the skylight. He thought, Oh, that's better. So he cried for the beauty and was at a total loss for words for almost a year. .. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 3c02a74 | Not the scream of a startled little girl, mind you, but a manly scream: the scream of a fellow who has caught his enormous dong in a revolving door while charging | Christopher Moore | ||
| 8f21e32 | Take a moment to catch your breath and revel in your rhetorical mastery and achievement. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 04d35a2 | Hey, you ever feel like you might just be the construct of an unyielding, all-seeing bureaucracy beyond our perception that is molding humanity to its own will and pleasure? | Christopher Moore | ||
| 11ce97a | there comes a point where you'll find something out, where you'll see something, or where something will suddenly come together, and you'll realize that you know something that no one else in the world knows yet. Just you. No one else. You realize that all the value you have is in that one thing, and you're only going to have it for a short time until you tell someone else, but for that time you are more alive than you'll ever be. | Christopher Moore | ||
| 3991f35 | For the tourist, immersed in the oblivion of vacation spending, Cypress Street provided a bonanza of curious gifts to prove to the folks back home that they had been somewhere. Somewhere where they had obviously forgotten that soon they would return home to a mortgage, dental bills, and an American Express bill that would descend at the end of the month like a financial Angel of Death. And they bought. They bought effigies of | Christopher Moore | ||
| 62d40aa | Offstage, she fixed him in place with compliments and ironic bossiness, and he tended not to look at her at all when they spoke. He was the only one in the band she called by name, implying a permanence to his position that was professionally reassuring but personally debilitating. When they wrote together or when one presented the other with something prepared in private, with no audience to absorb the excess, he felt the room crowding wit.. | Arthur Phillips | ||
| bb692b8 | He had no illusion that this was bittersweet or somehow necessary to make art. It just burned. Anyone who felt this would take their hand off the stove at once, but he was locked in position, inches from the source of his pain, for as far into the future as he could see, because if he was going to be a musician, if he was going to protect the one profound and real thing about himself, the one thing he loved besides her (but which only she m.. | Arthur Phillips | ||
| 1b96e13 | But music is, at the very minimum, inflammatory, exclusionary, divisive, encouraging of snobbery and solipsism. | Arthur Phillips | ||
| f8a3853 | So why did poor artists originally hang around in cafes?" "I don't know. Inspiration from the atmosphere." "Ha! No, you've been tricked, too, just like the rest of us. Cafes didn't have inspirational atmosphere at first. That only came later, when you knew artists had been hanging around in them." | truth | Arthur Phillips | |
| 87800f1 | Alice in Wonderland | Mike Lupica | ||
| 4df10c6 | I never look for help when I'm the one who loaded the bases. | Mike Lupica | ||
| dd585c7 | football, | Mike Lupica | ||
| 08389ff | It's a foul if he calls a foul. | Mike Lupica |