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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 4da3f95 | There is no such thing as reproduction, only acts of production. | children parenting writing | Andrew Solomon | |
| 9038f1d | Many coping strategies have a Zen simplicity. Instead of resolving chaos, find beauty and happiness amid chaos. I am reminded of a friend who said that when she found out her husband couldn't fill her needs, she changed her needs; | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 83b8f50 | I did not want to sit on the roof, though I was also aware that if I didn't allow myself the relief of considering suicide, I would soon explode from within and commit suicide. I felt the fatal tentacles of this despair wrapping themselves around my arms and legs. Soon they would hold the fingers I would need to take the right pills or to pull the trigger, and when I had died, they would be the only motion left. I knew that the voice of rea.. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 4374ed8 | unhappiness very much. Few can cope with the idea of depression divorced from external reality. Many would prefer to think that if you're suffering, it's with reason and subject to logical resolution. A | Andrew Solomon | ||
| b9f22b9 | Most people don't like one another's unhappiness very much. Few can cope with the idea of depression divorced from external reality. Many would prefer to think that if you're suffering, it's with reason and subject to logical resolution. A | Andrew Solomon | ||
| f1b82e5 | Andrew Solomon writes, "Everyone is flawed and strange; most people are valiant, too." | Deanna Fei | ||
| 088d556 | I was walking down the street today," she said, "and I thought, I am probably dying. And then I thought, should we have cherries or pears at lunch? And the two things felt too much the same." | Andrew Solomon | ||
| fd0685c | When I had the third breakdown, the mini-breakdown, I was in the late stages of writing this book. Since I could not cope with communication of any kind during that period, I put an auto-response message on my E-mail that said I was temporarily unreachable, and a similar message on my answering machine. Acquaintances who had suffered depression knew what to make of these outgoing messages. They wasted no time. I had dozens and dozens of cal.. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| a56787d | Mothering requires two impulses- the impulse to hold on, and the impulse to push away. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 672d4ba | Ma simt tot timpul ca si cum fiecare ar vrea o bucatica din mine. | depresie română | Andrew Solomon | |
| 07f96fb | the happy endings of tragedies have a dignity beyond the happy endings of comedies, that they not only transcend the mawkishness to which Howells alludes, but also produce a contentment more cherished than one untempered by suffering. Sometimes, people end up thankful for what they mourned. You cannot achieve this state by seeking tragedy, but you can keep yourself open more to sorrow's richness than to unmediated despair. Tragedies with ha.. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 5ac033f | I think all love is one-third projection and one-third acceptance and never more than one-third knowledge and insight. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| f250d2b | Psychosis is a gross disturbance in an individual's ability to distinguish self from reality. For schizophrenics, the membrane between imagination and reality is so porous that having an idea and having an experience are not particularly different. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| e7c7713 | The danger is that being pushed towards early specialisation can leave children believing that they have only one way to succeed...Prodigies who don't make it will have worked insanely hard on something that can longer sustain them, after having neglected skills needed to pursue any other kind of life. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 49e6af1 | Disability is not predictive of the happiness of either the parent or the child, which reflects the larger puzzle that people who have won the lottery are, in the long run and on average, only marginally happier than amputees--people in each category having adjusted rather quickly to their new normal. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| c319186 | Up to two hundred genes can be implicated in autism, and some evidence suggests that you need several to manifest the syndrome. Sometimes, epistatic, or modifier, genes influence the expression of primary genes; sometimes environmental factors influence the expression of these genes. The closer the relationship between genotype and phenotype, the easier it is to discern. In autism, some people with a share genotype don't share a phenotype, .. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 0a41474 | The cliche about autism is that the syndrome impedes the ability to love, and I began this research interested in how much a parent could contrive to love a child who could not return the affection. Autistic children often seem to inhabit a world on which external cues have limited impact; they may seem to be neither comforted by nor engaged with their parents are not motivated to gratify them. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| c481e43 | The trauma of Down's syndrome is that it is present prenatally and can therefore undermine the early stages of bonding. The challenge of autism is that it sets in or is detected in the toddler years, and so transfigures the child to whom parents have already bonded. The shock of schizophrenia is that it manifests in late adolescence or early adulthood, and parents must accept that the child they have known and loved for more than a decade m.. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 59ef0b5 | These are astonishingly early processes. The | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 20aa3dc | it. Block out the terrible thoughts that invade your mind. I | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 285a911 | Some opponents of (cochlear) implants have proposed that people make their own choice when they turn eighteen. Even putting aside the neural issues that make this impractical, it is a flawed proposition. At eighteen, you are choosing not simply between being deaf and being hearing, but between the culture you have known and the life you have not. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| f3d4058 | If the earth could feed itself and us without rain, and if we conquered the weather and declared permanent sun, would we not miss grey days and summer storms? | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 1c4d882 | Ne exprimam iubirea, deoarece satisfactia adusa de iubire este enorma, si continuam sa ne exprimam iubirea si sa actionam protector, deoarece pierderea iubirii e traumatizanta. Daca n-am simti durere la pierderea fiintei iubite, daca am avea placerea iubirii, dar n-am simti nimic cand obiectul iubirii noastre e ruina, am fi considerabil mai putin protectori decat suntem. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 6ae5c7d | Some parents manufacture an affirmative construction of their child's disability to disguise their despair, while others have a deep and genuine experience of joy in caring for disabled children, and that sometimes the first stance can generate the second. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 63ca0b0 | The sprinter unwisely indulges his arrogance against the marathon runner, and likewise, parents who encourage their children's narcissism do them no favours. It is best to accomplish something before becoming famous, because if the fame comes first, it often precludes accomplishment..."You don't build a career by playing Carnegie Hall. You build a career and then Carnegie Hall will invite you to play"." | Andrew Solomon | ||
| f27ea64 | Woody Allen once quipped that dwarf is once of the four funniest words in the English language. To be in your very essence perceived as comical is a significant burden. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| fd68e88 | Cleaving to our own lives, with all their challenges and limitations and particularities, is vital. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 189740c | We learn so much from our children--in patience, in humility, in gratitude for other blessings we had accepted before as a matter of course; so much in tolerance; so much in faith--believing and trusting where we cannot see; so much in compassion for our fellow man; and yes, even so much in wisdom about the eternal values in life. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 464b79f | The LP actress Linda Hunt once wrote, 'Dwarfism, after all, isn't like cancer or heart disease. It isn't fatal, and it isn't even an illness. It is physical, though, and inescapable. You don't get over it. It is you. But you aren't it, and that's an important distinction. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| ff273fb | must love them for themselves, | Andrew Solomon | ||
| c97628c | When the child does not conform to this image, the parents often need help in adapting their behavior to the reality--they | Andrew Solomon | ||
| dbcdc35 | The social perception of whether any supposed deficit is the parents' fault is always a critical factor in the experience of both children and parents. The attribution of responsibility to parents is often a function of ignorance, but it also reflects our anxious belief that we control our own destinies. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 0d2b351 | There is no question that modern life carries burdens incompatible with the brains we have evolved. Depression may, then, well be a consequence of our doing what we did not evolve to do. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 45a541a | The difficulty of learning spoken English for a person profoundly deaf from an early age has been likened to a hearing American trying to learn spoken Japanese while locked within a soundproof glass cubicle. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| c245f1b | A patient may say that he has spent certain months suffering major depression, but this is a way of imposing measurement on the immeasurable. All that one can really say for certain is that one has known major depression, and that one does or does not happen to be experiencing it at any given present moment. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 4bc10ba | Cerebral palsy is any disability caused by damage to the cerebrum before birth, just afterward, or in the first three years of life. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 0108196 | Too often, treatments address only half the problem: they focus on the presence or on the absence. It is necessary both to cut away that extra thousand pounds of the vines and to relearn a root system and the techniques of photosynthesis. Drug therapy hacks through the vines. You can feel it happening, how the medication seems to be poisoning the parasite so that bit by bit it withers away. You feel the weight going, feel the way that the b.. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| b9bfafa | I told my mother that she was not going anywhere and that I would remember her for a good long time because she was going to go on reminding me of herself. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 3001686 | Returning from distress by gradual degrees gives sense to affliction itself. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| cf31c42 | Those, disabled people, however, may be angered by the prospect of interventions that would make them function more like non-disabled people without mitigating the hard reality of their disabling condition. Some may even curse the contraptions that keep them going. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 91f9d3e | We applaud the great strides made through genetic identification research, however, we do not condone the use of such information for eugenics and related purposes"..."The question of what lives are worth living is now answered in doctors' offices instead of in Nazis' T-4 programme. The forces of normalisation seem to be gaining ground." | Andrew Solomon | ||
| 0399c81 | In the 1990s, Miraca Gross studied children who were radically accelerated, starting college between eleven and sixteen. None regretted the acceleration, and most had made good and lasting friendships with older children. By contrast, gifted children stuck with age peers experienced rage, depression, and self-criticism. Today, most gifted programs keep children in an age-based setting some of the time and a skills-based setting the rest of .. | Andrew Solomon | ||
| d6b7c01 | Bezradostno chuvstvovat' v sebe porchu: oshchushchat', kak v tebe chut' li ne kazhdyi den' obrazuiutsia novye vmiatiny; znat', chto prevrashchaesh'sia v nechto khiloe, bessil'noe; ponimat', chto znachitel'nuiu chast' tebia uneset pervym zhe sil'nym poryvom vetra. Odni nakaplivaiut bol'she emotsional'noi "rzhavchiny", drugie men'she. Depressiia nachinaetsia s oshchushcheniia presnosti; ona otnimaet silu u povsednevnykh postupkov, poka ikh ia.. | psychology | Andrew Solomon | |
| 4f8f3d8 | Chuvstvo odinochestva vyzyvaet depressiiu, no i depressiia sozdaet chuvstvo odinochestva. Esli ne mozhesh' ispravno funktsionirovat', v tvoei zhizni nastupaet besporiadok, kakoi ty v nei i predpolagal; esli ne mozhesh' govorit' i ne imeesh' seksual'nykh zhelanii, tvoia lichnaia i sotsial'naia zhizn' rushitsia, a eto samo po sebe vyzyvaet depressiiu. | psychology | Andrew Solomon |