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8ea0393 We nod and grunt grudging affirmatives. Richard Kadrey
0d17a0e With a coterie of unpleasant residents doing mischief with travelers." "What's a coterie?" "A somewhat large group." "How large?" "Some say an army," said Ipos. "But a minor one." "Why didn't you say so? It sounds completely reasonable." "Good." "No, it doesn't. I was being sarcastic." Merihim frowned." Richard Kadrey
d51cfb4 So now here I am, bouncing along in a truck with concrete shocks surrounded by a Hellion legion that smells like a fish-market Dumpster. I'm not usually the dragged-along-for-the-ride type. Usually, I'm the one doing the dragging, but I'm a little out of my depth here. Like Marianas Trench out of my depth. I fought in the arena long enough to know that sometimes the best strategy is to shut up, go along with the game, and make sure that som.. Richard Kadrey
55a156a Start talking or we're going to see if you can dog-paddle through fire. I wonder if fried Hellion tastes like spicy or original recipe? Richard Kadrey
970cf79 Geryon looks at me like I'm a moldy ham sandwich someone forgot in the back of the fridge at work. Richard Kadrey
1e1d51d The case is caked with dirt and rattier looking than Karloff in The Mummy. Richard Kadrey
85f13be When she leaves I look from Daja to the Magistrate. "I think your pet monkey is getting tired. Why don't you throw it a banana and send it home?" Richard Kadrey
d50d65b So, this really is a crusade after all. And now I'm part of it. Hallelujah. Richard Kadrey
7c3529b It would be simpler than dealing with this sideshow. Richard Kadrey
4dd4315 I know a killer when I see one and he's one cold Charlie Starkweather motherfucker. Richard Kadrey
760dc54 The smaller Hellion was in sleeveless black robes. Every inch of visible skin was tattooed in sacred Hellion script, like he'd been mugged by the tiniest graffiti crew in the universe. Big Boy looked like the Hulk's runt cousin in rubber overalls. Dangling from his thick leather belt were enough vicious-looking tools to give Torquemada the vapors. Richard Kadrey
5b45456 Hellions look sort of like the little demons in that Hieronymus Bosch painting The Garden of Earthly Delights. Some look pretty human. Some look like the green devils on old absinthe bottles. Some are like what monsters puke up after a long weekend of eating other monsters. Buer looks like a cuttlefish in a Hugo Boss suit and smells like a pet-store Dumpster. Richard Kadrey
85cfd53 The angel makes a sharp turn and shoots back at me. I shout some Hellion hoodoo and it has about as much effect as reading cupcake recipes to a lobster. Richard Kadrey
23a3042 I prefer Abomination. It fits better on a T-shirt. I'd comp you one, but we don't have any big enough for your ego. Richard Kadrey
fa7c49a Pale vines follow me as I walk, cooing and sighing, hoping I have oatmeal for brains and will get close enough that they can drag me off and eat me at their leisure. And at the center of all this treacherous merriment is a skeleton tree. It's sturdier than the others we've seen. Taller and thicker. Its branches are as big around as my leg. Richard Kadrey
2409b08 Oh God. It's like you're smoking a pig's ass, and the pig isn't well. Richard Kadrey
d5d5d23 You mean there are miserable, depressed assholes in Heaven, too?" "Of course." "A lot?" "Enough." "And they piss everyone off?" "They sure do." "Good." She bumps her shoulder into mine. "It's nice to see you." Richard Kadrey
39e953c I don't seem to be alone anymore." "Very well," says Vehuel. "We'd like--" "Shh," he says, holding up a hand. "I'm trying to count." "Of course," Vehuel says in a tone that makes it pretty obvious she's not used to getting shushed." Richard Kadrey
607eb76 Instead they're crying like a school bus full of little French girls whose ice cream all melted. Richard Kadrey
1f0d014 Mimir sucks in the smoke and suddenly I want another Malediction. Her eyes roll back in her head. She begins to shake. She mumbles something unintelligible, like she's chanting or speaking in tongues. It's your basic oracle carny act. I've seen a million of them. They always look like they're about to have an aneurysm. If they didn't, the rubes wouldn't think they were getting their money's worth. Richard Kadrey
745c1a2 I'm Satan. I can deal with that and play "Smoke on the Water" while getting a lap dance on a runaway train all at the same time." Richard Kadrey
4bae813 This fire is a big deal. A huge deal. A giant, flaming, goddamn, piece-of-shit, agonizing, I-want-to-rip-my-own-head-off deal. Richard Kadrey
7f1c781 I'm sweating like a hog tap-dancing in a sauna. Richard Kadrey
3642f26 My ass and back ache like someone gave me a baseball-bat massage. Richard Kadrey
e17b9a8 Next you'll tell me that Mickey Mouse is just a guy in a costume. Richard Kadrey
f1b06db The Magistrate says, "I am a student of human nature, did you know that, Mr. Pitts?" "It beats beekeeping, I guess." He smiles infinitesimally." Richard Kadrey
54d057a This is my domain. What exists here without knowledge exists here in defiance." "That doesn't even make sense." "He's calling them liars," says Daja. I look at her. "Again I ask: What does any of this have to do with me?" Richard Kadrey
a1a9f0c The Magistrate says something to him and stands at the edge of the flatbed, a preacher addressing his flock. Charlie Manson laying out the plans for Helter Skelter. Richard Kadrey
16fff99 Traven walks away as a stream of havoc members come by to pat me on the back, punch my arm, and shake my hand. I smile and nod like it's the Oscars and I just won Best Supporting Asshole. Richard Kadrey
8c0f283 Short of flamethrowers, nukes, or a bunch of trained Drifter killers, the best strategy is nature's simplest: run like you're a zebra at a waterhole and a pride of lions just showed up with ketchup and silverware. Richard Kadrey
1e8acf1 I think term limits are a good idea. Rand Paul
c1fe668 Traven stares at Cherry grinding away on my crotch. He looks like the most puzzled holy man since Jesus saw Judas order fajitas at the Last Supper. Richard Kadrey
3892855 Thanks, but sometimes I think my sins are the only thing holding me together Richard Kadrey
237d2ec There's dead and there's Hollywood dead, and those are two very different things. Dead is just dead. In the ground. Pennies on your eyes. A cold slab of meat with no slaw and definitely no dessert. Richard Kadrey
b4cfa2e You sent one of your own people to get his ass kicked? That's not the way to build brand loyalty. Richard Kadrey
fdec3cc I'm always careful. It's whiskey that isn't careful. Richard Kadrey
b94aa7e LOS ANGELES IS a busted jukebox in a forgotten bar at the ass end of the high desert. The city only exists between the pops, skips, and scratches of the old 45s. Richard Kadrey
e83c0d4 How will you do it?" says Sinclair. "I'll know when I see the setup, but I imagine I'll basically just kill them all and take their stuff. Is that okay with everyone?" Sandoval says, "It's fine with me." "Me too," says Sinclair. Howard just grunts." Richard Kadrey
f455a4f God's nature has always been multifold, and never more than now. He dances with a dove in one hand and an ax in the other. Richard Kadrey
1dc61a2 ONCE UPON A time I was a regular jackass living a regular jackass life. Richard Kadrey
50501cd No. You open it." "You think I put a bomb in there? Maybe snakes? Maybe a snake bomb?" Richard Kadrey
57302c4 Sandoval screws up her lips in a sour expression like she just licked the bottom of a bus station chair. Richard Kadrey
d44c825 I've been me for so long, what am I going to be if that's gone? Richard Kadrey
8feaefd That's it, fuckers. I've saved your dumb asses more than once. Let me choke you a little as I vanish into the sky. Richard Kadrey