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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 8585568 | You MUST take your pills. If you fail to take your pills, every single person in your dormitory will be PUNISHED for all ETERNITY | David Walliams | ||
| 987b6f9 | A day trip to a local farm ended in disaster when the geography teacher was herded into a sheep dip and all his hair was sheared off. It was slightly preferable to the previous year when the pupils had attached him to the milking machine. | David Walliams | ||
| 9a06a5f | Tower | David Walliams | ||
| 1aef57f | show, Trisha. Dennis had seen a Trisha episode about people with depression, and thought maybe his dad had that. Dennis loved Trisha. It was a daytime talk show where ordinary people were given the opportunity to talk about their problems, or yell abuse at their relatives, and it was all presided over by a kindly looking but judgemental woman conveniently called... Trisha. For a while Dennis thought life without his mum would be some kind o.. | David Walliams | ||
| e877bd1 | oe led her father out of the pub, | David Walliams | ||
| 50124c9 | How did it sound?" asked Tom. "Awful! But it didn't matter how it sounded!" said Robin. "It was how it felt!" | David Walliams | ||
| d213861 | GOAL! | David Walliams | ||
| 9380ad1 | and The Witch | David Walliams | ||
| dabc29c | The man was a hero. He had given his life to save not just his son and Gabz, but all the children of the town. | David Walliams | ||
| 8fe7512 | The 1940s The 1940s were dominated by World War II and its aftermath. It was a decade of great change and upheaval for the British public as millions of soldiers joined the Armed Forces to fight, while those who stayed at home had to adjust to new rules and ways of life to help the war effort. Everyone was called upon to 'do their bit' to help the nation and people were encouraged to 'make do and mend', which meant reusing and repairing clo.. | David Walliams | ||
| 35d49c2 | never allows you to stay up to watch your favourite television programme | David Walliams | ||
| cb5c3ac | Soup of the day - wasp Gerbils on toast Or Hair lasagne (vegetarian option) Or Brick cutlet All served with deep-fried cardboard Dessert - A slice of sweat cake Tuesday Soup of the day - Caterpillar consomme Macaroni snot (vegetarian option) Or Road-kill bake Or Slipper frittata | David Walliams | ||
| 5a85377 | Friday Soup of the day - Terrapin Pan-fried otter steaks Or Owl quiche (kosher) Or Boiled poodle (not suitable for vegetarians) All served with a slice of gravy Dessert - Mouse mousse | David Walliams | ||
| 8f75c8f | flanked by two incredibly bulky nurses who dwarfed her. One nurse had a black eye, and 'LOVE' and 'HATE' tattooed on her knuckles. The other had a tattoo of a spider's web on her neck and what looked like stubble on her chin. Both scowled at the boy. They were the ugliest nurses you could ever hope to meet. Jack's eyes darted to their name badges - 'Nurse Rose' and 'Nurse Blossom'. Miss Swine was twirling what at first glance looked like a .. | David Walliams | ||
| 863d594 | Winnie Prophecy Mystelle Passionfruit Turquoise Dave Smith, take this man to be your husband . . . ?" recited the vicar." | David Walliams | ||
| 25e5e84 | PUSH! | David Walliams | ||
| 31b5be2 | As Twilight Towers was set on the edge of the moors, streetlamps were few and far between. | David Walliams | ||
| ef59b85 | The Queen's bum remained purple. She showed it to everyone in the country when she gave her yearly speech to the nation on Christmas Day, calling it her 'anus horribilis'. | David Walliams | ||
| e9af761 | In his dreams, he would be a hero. In his life, he felt like a zero. | David Walliams | ||
| 2f22b88 | It was as if the coffin was a toboggan. A coffin toboggan. A coffboggan. | David Walliams | ||
| 4a8c555 | Flip had written many volumes of poetry: | David Walliams | ||
| 96e9303 | Boom! | David Walliams | ||
| 17600b4 | As long as you love me, I can never die. | David Walliams | ||
| 8837316 | Mummified | David Walliams | ||
| d1ec62f | Rules don't apply here," laughed Lisa. "Dennis, you can be whoever you want to be!" 9" | David Walliams | ||
| 20abfac | a little while at least. | David Walliams | ||
| f661dab | But being a child, he'd never been asked for his opinion. | David Walliams | ||
| a1686c5 | Are you sure you want this, Dennis?" asked Raj. "Vogue is mainly read by ladies, and your drama teacher Mr Howerd." | David Walliams | ||
| 5b2c4bd | Elsie. | David Walliams | ||
| c969773 | The Queen peered down at Jack and mused, "Aren't you a little young to be in my Royal Air Force?" | David Walliams | ||
| af10ef2 | in | David Walliams | ||
| a18d8aa | no. The Professor Osbert Bertram Cuthbert Farnaby Beverly Smith mammoth | David Walliams | ||
| f4204d2 | very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very... | David Walliams | ||
| 9c44c1d | outwitting | David Walliams | ||
| 290595a | Naughty bottom!" called out Dotty, slapping her own rear end. Just as" | David Walliams | ||
| 9ac00d8 | No buts, Ben. No. 'N' and 'O' spells 'no'. | David Walliams | ||
| 7990292 | The maggots will nibble off the dirt, you muck snipes!" Mrs Curdle would snigger. To dry off afterwards, she would peg the children to the washing line by their ears. TWANG! Once, when Elsie was found with a pet rat in her pocket that she had befriended, Mrs Curdle used it as a ball in a game of cricket. THUD! "EEEEEK!" WHIZZ!" | David Walliams | ||
| 216e6c0 | normalerweise | David Walliams | ||
| 1ab36da | Nec quererer, si etiam in tormentis'. Translate that from the Latin, boy! | David Walliams | ||
| 9de7d50 | It's extraordinary," muttered the professor. "There's a special connection between them." "Like me and me favourite mop," added Dotty." | David Walliams | ||
| 162cefd | Professor Comb-Over | David Walliams | ||
| 0131bd3 | wavering | David Walliams | ||
| 7821c11 | miles an hour. | David Walliams | ||
| 7015338 | CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK CRACK. | David Walliams |