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| Link | Quote | Stars | Tags | Author |
| 90540f9 | But, as with punishments, they can never help someone to develop a commitment to a task or an action, a reason to keep doing it when there's no longer a payoff. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 970aa55 | Some behavioral psychologists defend the practice of punishing employees on the grounds that it helps to "clarify management's expectations of performance and promote goal setting."81 (This is comparable to the claim that throwing employees out an office window helps to clarify what floor they work on.) One" | Alfie Kohn | ||
| af9ce85 | So what, exactly, is the positive reinforcement that's being suspended when a child is given a time-out? Sometimes he's doing something fun and is forced to quit. But this isn't always the case--and even when it is, I think there's more to the story. When you send a child away, what's really being switched off or withdrawn is your presence, your attention, your love. You may not have thought of it that way. Indeed, you may insist that your .. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 2b440d2 | the use of rewards for reading, writing, drawing, acting responsibly and generously, and so on is cause for concern, not only because these things could be intrinsically motivating but because we want to encourage rather than extinguish that motivation. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 36db64b | By contrast, training and goal-setting programs had a far greater impact on productivity than did anything involving payment.32 | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 54b5c6c | Where did this disposition come from? And what are our long-term goals for people--particularly children--with respect to motivation? | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 868aa09 | what matters is not just how motivated someone is but the source and nature of that motivation.13 | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 3ee94e5 | When you stand by and let bad things happen, your child experiences the twin disappointments that something went wrong and you did not seem to care enough about her to lift a finger to help prevent the mishap. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 32738a7 | if, like Charles Silberman, we think school "should prepare people not just to earn a living but to live a life--a creative, humane, and sensitive life,"22 then children's attitudes toward learning are at least as important as how well they perform at any given task." | Alfie Kohn | ||
| f3ee6ca | But my point is not just that the psychological theory is inadequate; it is that the practice is unproductive. If we do not address the ultimate cause of a problem, the problem will not get solved. This is not to say | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 58b50f4 | What provokes particular outrage and ridicule is the idea that children might feel good about themselves in the absence of impressive accomplishments, even though, as I'll show, studies find that unconditional self-esteem is a key component of psychological health. | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 3845765 | In my view, there are two fundamentally different ways one can respond to a child who does something wrong. One is to impose a punitive consequence. Another is to see the situation as a "teachable moment," an opportunity to educate or to solve a problem together. The response here is not "You've misbehaved; now here's what I'm going to do to you" but "Something has gone wrong; what can we do about it?" | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 60e98c9 | My advice is to make a point of apologizing to your child about something at least twice a month. Why twice a month? I don't know. It sounds about right to me. (Almost all the specific advice in parenting books is similarly arbitrary. At least I admit it.) | Alfie Kohn | ||
| a80b3d0 | The failure to adopt other people's points of view, to take an imaginative leap out of oneself, is one way to account for much of the behavior we find, troublesome, from littering to murder. (Kafka once referred to war as "a monstrous failure of imagination.") Perspective taking helps us at once to see others as fundamentally similar to ourselves despite superficial differences (in that we share a common humanity)" | Alfie Kohn | ||
| fd912ea | The most significant factor in an individual's ability to remain in good health may be a sense of control over the events of life," one psychologist has remarked." | Alfie Kohn | ||
| 5561eec | getting good passes. | Betty Neels | ||
| 5780daf | about | Betty Neels | ||
| 00d5d59 | Miss Timms must have been out of her mind," he observed bitterly. "She said that you were utterly trustworthy and sensible." "Well, I hope I am when it comes to being a nurse. But today I'm just me, doing what I want to do." She took his hand gently from her arm. "Goodbye, Mr Werdmer ter Sane." | Betty Neels | ||
| ffb0e4f | made no fuss and helped around the house without making a song and dance about it. She'll make Dr Fforde a good wife, reflected Aunt Leticia. | Betty Neels | ||
| 273760d | You tempt me to telephone Matron and ask her to let you have the afternoon off.' He spoke lightly and Sarah felt a surprising regret that he couldn't possibly mean it. 'That sort of thing happens in novels, never in real life. I can imagine Matron's feelings! | Betty Neels | ||
| 28c98b9 | She pulled a face at | Betty Neels | ||
| 4a9a4da | Get stuffed, | Betty Neels | ||
| a33086b | She smiled and wanted to cry, too, for a moment. From happiness, she supposed. 'What a wonderful day to be in love and be loved. I'm so happy. | happiness love | Betty Neels | |
| cf5fbaf | couldn't examine | Betty Neels | ||
| 596c7a9 | Beatrice, walk in to the hospital and say you're my guest; Ethel will come for you if I can't manage it. It will last about an hour, and you'll have met quite a few of the people there already.' He had barely glanced at her, but Ethel had noted her tired face and, being the soul of discretion, had said nothing. Beatrice, unaware that his quick look had taken in her unhappy face, thanked him politely and poured her coffee, buttered a croissa.. | Betty Neels | ||
| e15a22f | She thanked him just as | Betty Neels | ||
| aad7643 | us, not with her,' she observed. | Betty Neels | ||
| 38b4805 | prettiness and their cut showed off her neat figure. It was a pity that Paul wasn't there to see the chrysalis changing into a butterfly. She had to make do with Queenie. She had to admit that by teatime, even though she had filled the rest of the day by taking the dogs for a long walk, she was missing him, which was, of course, exactly what he had intended. Mrs Parfitt, when Emma asked her the next day, had no idea when he would be back. '.. | Betty Neels | ||
| e0a57ea | March was doing exactly as it should; it had come in like a lamb, now it was going out like a lion. ~Only Betty Neels~ | Betty Neels | ||
| 349cc48 | have had the best intentions?' Leonora gave him a cold look. 'He said one of the reasons for marrying me | Betty Neels | ||
| c27fe79 | she spun round to face him, suddenly alight with happiness--a lovely feeling, she thought bemusedly, like going out of doors very early on a summer morning or going home after a hard week's work and opening the kitchen door and seeing her mother--a lovely complete feeling in which content and delight and joy were nicely mixed. | Betty Neels | ||
| e2c5aac | The only one in the valley who was working was Mooney Wright. Harrison leaned over and kneaded his hands roughly. He was wary of Mooney. Mooney was a strong one, not subject to weakness at all. He had done only one grievous act, in Harrison's mind. He had taken Lorry and the boys from him. For a man to be jealous of his daughter was a damnable thing, Harrison thought, though he realized he had been jealous of Lorry for years. It was.. | jealousy working | John Ehle | |
| ebd2199 | But even in the wealth of spring, he remembered the harshness of this country. It is a cunning place, he thought, a place of dangers, after all. | spring | John Ehle | |
| 0aa7025 | Colin and Edmund were here. How embarrassing. "She's alive. Conscious too," Edmund said in the bluff pretend-nothing's-really-wrong tone she'd only heard him take about horses and hounds before. Colin said something rough. He said it in a foreign tongue--not French or German--and it had a number of syllables, but Reggie knew an oath when she heard one. ". . . gonna hope," she managed, though her tongue was as swollen as her brain from the f.. | Isabel Cooper | ||
| 014d66b | Libraries are the great hothouses of change, where new ideas are nursed into being and then turned loose to do their work. | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| d08363b | Many of the persons convicted at Salem were found to have dolls in their possession, a piece of circumstantial evidence that in itself was almost sufficient to convict them. But there were other ways if determining whether a person was a witch or not. Witches were thought to have witch-marks on some part of their bodies, an area of skin that was red or blue or in some way different from the rest. Furthermore, at some time during a twenty-fo.. | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| e74ae5b | This diatribe was not mere youthful exuberance. In one of his last tracts, written when he was fifty-four, he described his opponent as a "snake-in-the-grass" and then specified what kind, a rattlesnake." (William Penn)" | Edmund S. Morgan | ||
| bdc1d31 | That at least a third of the delegates who would sign the Declaration were slave owners--Jefferson alone had two hundred--was a moral catastrophe that could never be reconciled with the avowed principles of equality and "unalienable rights," at least not in the eighteenth century. But as Edmund S. Morgan would write, "The creed of equality did not give men equality, but invited them to claim it, invited them, not to know their place and kee.. | Rick Atkinson | ||
| 5d17442 | Franklin's diplomatic triumph would help seal the course of the Revolution. It would also alter the world's balances of power, not just between France and England, but also--though France certainly did not intend it to--between republicanism and monarchy. "Franklin had won," writes Carl Van Doren, "a diplomatic campaign equal in results to Saratoga." The Yale historian Edmund Morgan goes even further, calling it "the greatest diplomatic vic.. | Walter Isaacson | ||
| ce7a8ce | Pleasantly situated on the Ivel and furnished with commodious Inns. | Biggleswade | ||
| e16adb5 | One of the greatest markets in England for barley. | Biggleswade | ||
| 1c7fb2e | kl mktb@ tstHDr 'shbHh lmZlm@ lkhS@ bh, fkl trtyb ynshy', tlqy'yan, Tyf mktb@ mn ktb Gy'b@. | Alberto Manguel | ||
| ebb434c | Step and land, step and land. That's all travel was. Throw in some running and a change of scenery. No big deal, right? And so, off he went. Off they went together. | Lynne Rae Perkins | ||
| e1e401b | There's going to be hot bigos of lead and gunpowder. | Bigos |