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6c3d728 If you fly high enough, if you get above the clouds, it's never-ending summer. Caitlin Moran
a97527f I will NOT be reading when we fly. My face is pressed against the window. When we fly, I am going to be absolutely present for every meter and every cloud. No one will EVER have flown more than me. Caitlin Moran
acf1f85 But now I've discovered the truth of the matter: that any woman can get laid, any time that she wants. Any woman. Any time. It is the greatest and most amazing secret on earth. It really doesn't matter if you're some fat chick wearing a top hat and speaking with a Wolverhampton accent. It's ridiculously easy. Caitlin Moran
fce0fa6 I adore Janis Joplin, who sixties herself to death. Caitlin Moran
42db980 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MR ELTON JOHN! Caitlin Moran
18a76e4 I now believe that there are only four things a grown, modern woman should have: a pair of yellow shoes (they unexpectedly go with everything), a friend who will come and post bail at 4 a.m., a fail-safe pie recipe, and a proper muff. Caitlin Moran
d666ce6 Blanche has already steeled herself, knowing that the Irish can't cook.) Emma Donoghue
9f9400a I think buddy is man talk for sweetie. Emma Donoghue
656a985 Despues de miles de anos de machismo de mierda) Como es natural, las personas que han estado psicologicamente machacadas no empiezan a hacer cosas gloriosas, seguras, ostentosas nada mas ser liberadas. En vez de eso, se quedan pensando: "Que cono ha pasado", intentando entender por que ocurrio, intentando dilucidar si fueron ellas las culpables(...) Hay un largo periodo de darse palmaditas en la espalda mientras uno se pregunta "?Estoy bien.. Caitlin Moran
59f4e14 No estoy segura de que 'ser' sea algo innato en la mujer, que vengamos asi programadas (...) se me ocurre que durante mucho tiempo, cuando has pasado milenios sin que te permitan hacer nada, tiendes a ser autocritica, analitica y reflexiva porque es lo unico que puedes hacer realmente aparte de estar buena Caitlin Moran
07da5e5 In 2010, Iceland - with a lesbian prime minister, and a parliament which is 50 per cent female - became the first country in the world to outlaw strip clubs for feminist, rather than religious, reasons. Caitlin Moran
5c25267 I don't want children anyway," Caz says. "So I am getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless." Caitlin Moran
c873aec Personalmente, encuentro absurda la idea de que las mujeres <> ir de compras; casi todas las que conozco tienen ganas de llorar despues de pasarse cuarenta y cinco minutos recorriendo las tiendas de moda en busca de una camisa, y se apresuran a beber ginebra en las tristes ocasiones en que tienen que encontrar un vaquero. Caitlin Moran
bff0bf9 cuantas mujeres llegaran a la conclusion, suspirando, de que no pueden ser feministas porque tienen una senora de la limpieza? Pero, por supuesto, al contratar una ayuda domestica, ninguna mujer esta oprimiendo a otra, ya que LAS MUJERES NO INVENTARON EL POLVO. EL RESIDUO PEGAJOSO QUE SE ACUMULA SOBRE LA TETERA NO PROCEDE DE LA VAGINA DE LAS MUJERES. NO ES ESTROGENO LO QUE LLENA LOS PLATOS DE LA CENA DE SALSA DE TOMATE, MIGAS DE PESCADO EMP.. Caitlin Moran
c0f0403 The mouth is the heart of the face, Caitlin Moran
432a0e2 Things happen in these kinds of towns that could never happen anywhere else--proud, poor kids make things happen with more heat, and intensity, and attack, than could ever be managed somewhere with pleasant villages or well-tended gardens. Caitlin Moran
2c104fc Because there is an unspoken announcement commensurate with that look. Women who've had the needle, or the knife, look like they're saying: 'My friends are not my friends, my men are unreliable and faint hearted, my lifetime's work counts for nothing, I am 59 and empty-handed. I'm still as defenceless as the day I was born. PLUS, I've now spunked all my yacht money on my arse. By any sane index, I have failed at my life. Caitlin Moran
3db7360 When did feminism become confused with Buddhism? Caitlin Moran
07e8e8c I am so tired. Tired--but so so so wired to the moon. Caitlin Moran
9cdaf70 When I was with the wrong man], it felt like our relationship was a gigantic puzzle - a huge existential and emotional quiz that, if I applied myself to enough, I would solve and gain the result of True Love. After all, the ingredients for us to be the perfect couple were there...The problem was just that he was unhappy. I knew that. I knew it in my bones. When I found the way the way to make him happy, everything would be fine. He was brok.. Caitlin Moran
7a9d491 I've learned what my contemporaries will have learned in their first terms at college, or university - that the first friends you make in a new place are the ones you usually spend the next three terms trying to lose, and that it's the people who are quietly holding back, and standing in the corner, that you will want to be with, when your second year comes arounds. Caitlin Moran
6f4a685 Because there's a silent, shrugging, stoical acceptance of all the things in the world we can never be part of: shorts, swimming pools, strappy dresses, country walks, roller-skating, ra-ra skirts, vest tops, high heels, rope climbing, sitting on a high stool, walking past building sites, flirting, being kissed, feeling confident. And ever losing weight, ever. The idea of suggesting we don't have to be fat -that things could change -is the .. feminism Caitlin Moran
51f0163 My fat years were when I was not human shaped. I was a 16-stone triangle, with inverted triangle legs, and no real neck. And that's because I wasn't doing human things. I didn't walk or run or dance or swim or climb up stairs; the food I ate wasn't the stuff that humans are supposed to eat. No one is supposed to eat a pound of boiled potatoes covered in Vitalite, or a fist-sized lump of cheese on the end of a fork, wielded like a lollipop. .. feminism Caitlin Moran
b3fec2e Dorothy Parker, Sylvia Plath, Bessie Smith, Janis Joplin -- I can't help but note that most of the women who hold their own with the men seem unhappy and apt to die young. Lazy, popular opinion has it that this is because women are fundamentally unsuited to putting their head over the parapet and competing on the same terms as men. They just can't handle the big-boy stuff. They simply need to stop trying. But when I look at their undoing - .. Caitlin Moran
55f08e9 Poor people can write. It's one of the few things poverty, and lack of connections, cannot stop you doing. Caitlin Moran
b4c9b9f I have a rule of thumb that allows me to judge - when time is pressing and one needs to make a snap judgment - whether some sexist bullshit is afoot. Obviously it is not 100 percent infallible but, by and large, it definitely points you in the right direction. And it's asking this question: "Are the men doing it? Are the men worrying about this as well? Is this taking up the men's time? Are the men told not to do this, as it's 'letting our .. Caitlin Moran
b7b28f1 just go around being alive, and pointing at things. We're just, simply, in the world. It had never occurred to me what a wonderful thing this was. Caitlin Moran
26e1bc7 a reformed bitch is going to cost a fortune in stamps. Caitlin Moran
13492fb turn our unsaid things into our life's work. Caitlin Moran
c527145 No one has ever claimed for a moment that childless men have missed out on a vital aspect of their existence, and were the poorer and crippled by it. Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Newton, Faraday, Plato, Aquinas, Beethoven, Handel, Kant, Hume. Jesus. They all seem to have managed quite well. Caitlin Moran
fa6b317 So here is the quick way of working out if you're a feminist. Put your hand in your pants. Caitlin Moran
31a528f In a world where you can get a spare kidney, a black-market Picasso or a ticket to ride into space, why can't I see some actual sex? Some actual fucking from people who want to fuck each other? Some chick in an outfit I halfway respect, having the time of her life? I have MONEY. I'm willing to PAY for this. I AM NOW A 35-YEAR-OLD WOMAN, AND I JUST WANT A MULTI-BILLION-DOLLAR INTERNATIONAL PORN INDUSTRY WHERE I CAN SEE A WOMAN COME. I just w.. porn Caitlin Moran
c64c9e7 When a woman says, "I have nothing to wear!" what she really means is, "There's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today." Because" Caitlin Moran
c38a38c Personally, I feel the time has come for women to introduce their own Zero Tolerance policy on the Broken Window issues in our lives - I want a Zero Tolerance policy on "All the Patriarchal Bullshit." patriarchy Caitlin Moran
51be1b6 You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening. When women find the right person, on the other hand, they just...disappear for six months, and then resurface, eyes shiny, and usually about six pounds heavier. "So what's he like?" you will say, waiting for the usual cloudburst of things he says and things he does and requests of analysis of what you think it mean.. Caitlin Moran
591d4ed There is a black-and-white picture in my hallway, of me, Nancy, and Lizzie in the bath, when Nancy was eight months old and Lizzie two-and-a-half. I am gently biting Lizzie. Nancy, in turn, is gumming my face. All eyes are on the person taking the picture - Pete, who was, as the slight camera-wobble shows, laughing. There we are-a tangle of half-shared DNA, all interlocking with each other; all being watched over by the one who loves us bes.. Caitlin Moran
a7b1cae As soon as my friends and I start dating for real, we enter an exhausting paradox - a belief that, in love, everything is not as it seems: the conviction that there is a common state of affairs whereby a man can be madly in love with you and wish to spend the rest of his life with you, but will indicate this in a variety of ways so subtle, only the truly talented and determined will discern his true desires. Like it's The Da Vinci Code, and.. Caitlin Moran
ce31909 Cynicism is like armor--it will, initially, protect you. But you cannot grow in armor; you cannot dance in armor. Cynicism restricts our growth. Cynicism is, in the end, an act of weakness. We must always have the cojones to be optimistic. To trust people. To forgive them their mistakes if we feel like they are trying to be better people, that they are trying to learn. Caitlin Moran
4235ecd those boys throw gravel at me while I ran up a hill - but I don't want my diary to pity me. As far as my diary will know, I had the philosophical upper hand there. Caitlin Moran
ae2cc79 It does sometimes seem as if the nineteenth century hasn't reached this part of the world yet." He" Emma Donoghue
5cb5db0 Women, it is presumed, will always end up having babies. They might go through silly, adolescent phases of pretending that it's something that they have no interest in - but, when push comes to shove, womanhood is a cul-de-sac that ends in Mothercare, and that's the end of that. All women love babies - just like all women love Manolo Blahnik shoes, and George Clooney. Even the ones who wear nothing but trainers, or are lesbians, and really .. Caitlin Moran
6ef4f8a There is no social upheaval that will really affect them. If you're comfortably middle-class, what's the worst a government policy could do? Ever? Tax you at 90 per cent and leave your bins, unemptied, on the pavement. But you and everyone you know will continue to drink wine - but maybe cheaper - go on holiday - but somewhere nearer - and pay off your mortgage - although maybe later. 'Consider, now, then, the poor. What's the worst a gover.. Caitlin Moran
1387c52 It seems that being a woman is very expensive and time-consuming. My innocence about this is incongruous, given my age, but total. I come from grunge, and then Britpop--scenes where you boast about how little you spend on an outfit ("Three quid! From a jumble sale!" "Ooooh, pricey--I found this jacket in a Dumpster. On a dead man. Under a fox carcass"), and taking pride in "getting ready to go out" consists of little more than washing your .. feminism humor Caitlin Moran
e63fb39 Your key hobbies need to be long country walks (get some fresh air in those lungs!), masturbation, and the revolution. Between those three, you should, in the long term, stay relatively sane. feminism humor Caitlin Moran